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I Like You Guys Better


LOSTONE

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I have been treated like an outsider all my life by the family I was raised with. I am adopted and my so called siblings all hate me. I am use to being treated less than human without justification. Plus the world in general is sometimes harsh for no apparent reason. So I am not really concern about what ( if any ) look downs or shunning I may get from whom ever.

The only time I really ever felt belonging or loved is at church with church friends ( Mormon friends included ). Funny how this has worked out. Anyways....

Alot of converts join because of this very reason, it's like a second family. I think you'd have a good experience joining the LDS church. And if your friends or family judge you, that's their problem, and more than likely will come around. And maybe even try to compete for your attention, haha!

Don't feel obligated to answer my nosy question, but have you sought out your birth mother?

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Second guessing my statement above. Since I've cut down my involvement in the ward, my "family" isn't around much. I guess when one does that it can get extremely lonely. One bit of advice if you join the church, Lostone. Don't dump your non member friends, because if you quit going to the LDS church, those instant friends in the ward might not be there.

eta: "family"= Ward Family

Edited by Tacenda
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It is more of a Utah thing than out in the "mission field". I hear all the time people fleeing Utah in horror for the culture created there.  I wouldn't attribute it to individuals but to the "culture". A person recently did an anthropology study on Mormons and there is little doubt how much influence the Church has in a community where - for example - a subdivision is 80% LDS and there are two church buildings in the same street and everyone watches everyone else. I wouldn't live there if paid to do so.  [sorry, i can't site my source, but I really don't think it arguable].

I just moved from there and I loved it.  I have lived in a number of places inside and outside of Utah and you find judgmental people both in and out. I loved living in Utah and it saddens me that the whole church is welcomed into unity except for "those judgmental, self-righteous, hypocritical Utahns".  If all you see is the stereotypical "culture" then you missed the many, many good people there that I love and have done so much to help me and what you have seen is only the little pinky of the whole church body in Utah. If you really want to see the church influence on the community then just don't look at the perceived negatives. 

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Alot of converts join because of this very reason, it's like a second family. I think you'd have a good experience joining the LDS church. And if your friends or family judge you, that's their problem, and more than likely will come around. And maybe even try to compete for your attention, haha!

Don't feel obligated to answer my nosy question, but have you sought out your birth mother?

 

It’s all good that you asked about my bio mom. I had searched years ago about my bio parents. My bio parents both died in the mid 80s at separate times and separate places. My bio dad was apparently pure evil and my bio mom was just one of many victims of his. They are both long gone and there was no other bio family connected to either of them I ever found. Other than my daughter, I have no bio family that I am aware of. I made peace with this years ago and moved on from it ( mostly ).

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I just moved from there and I loved it.  I have lived in a number of places inside and outside of Utah and you find judgmental people both in and out. I loved living in Utah and it saddens me that the whole church is welcomed into unity except for "those judgmental, self-righteous, hypocritical Utahns".  If all you see is the stereotypical "culture" then you missed the many, many good people there that I love and have done so much to help me and what you have seen is only the little pinky of the whole church body in Utah. If you really want to see the church influence on the community then just don't look at the perceived negatives. 

I really don't doubt you. My experience is from nothing more than long weekend visits and testimony of those who left Utah hating it. It is that the experiences I have been aware of are so visceral that I don't even want to be in proximity. It is wrong of me to classify an entire group as I did. I am LDS afterall and part of the 'family'. I understand being judged unfairly.

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Oh my, my, my, if I ever day to say such a thing out loud around my family or non-mormon friends, the hostile reactions I would get. Boom and bang, out I go, lol. But actually, I do like my Mormon friends and Mormons in general more than I like other people, including my friends from my church and other Christian friends. You guys seem to be more better on several key levels that I find welcoming and comforting. I would of never expected this when I first started to explore the LDS / Mormon last year. I am pleasantly surprised and happy. To bad my family and other friends can not see what I see or be more like you guys. I think life would be alot better if they were. With all do respect and love to them, I like you guys better. Oh no...the donut shop is opening up, gotta go. Just wanted to share something nice here today. Bye and best to all. :acute:

Ultimately, the church and faith we follow shouldn't be based on who we like more. It should be based on what God's truth is. What kind of non-Mormon church have you been going to? Why did you choose that church in the first place? Maybe you joined you first church for the wrong reason. If that was the case, you can't fix the problem by joining another church for a different wrong reason.

 

When you're shopping for a car, you usually have a wide selection to choose from. You can often choose the color and features to want and still have confidence it will work regardless of your choice. I've heard of some of people picking a church because they like the music style or a specific doctrine taught. It's as if they assume all churches are true and lead to the same place, so we're free to pick one with features that appeal to them, but that's a very dangerous assumption. When you're looking for what to put your faith in, you need to focus on what God's truth is, not what you like or don't like.

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I am not interested in Mormonism because my friends or any popularity influence. I am finding more interests in it because I am finding more of what I am seeking in it compared to other faiths I have been connected to and know from first hand experience. I joined my current church for all the right reasons, but found limitations that I seek to go beyond. Mormonism might be what I am seeking, but I do not want to say for sure at this time. I need more time to explore and learn before I decide.

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What are you seeking? What limitations do you want to go beyond? Shouldn't faith be more about God's truth than about what we want to seek?

I think you are under the wrong impression of me and of this post. I will not debate this matter further with you. Have a bless day.

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I think you are under the wrong impression of me and of this post. I will not debate this matter further with you. Have a bless day.

Sorry, I didn't intend to start a debate. I was just wondering where you're coming from when you talk about problems you're having with your current church.

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Second guessing my statement above. Since I've cut down my involvement in the ward, my "family" isn't around much. I guess when one does that it can get extremely lonely. One bit of advice if you join the church, Lostone. Don't dump your non member friends, because if you quit going to the LDS church, those instant friends in the ward might not be there.

eta: "family"= Ward Family

 

i'll tell you what I think may be your problem with your family and friends: If what you say and the way you comport yourself on this board is a fair representation of who and what you are at this time in your life with regard to your feelings and views on the LDS Church, I can easily understand why your LDS family and friends would be somewhat standoffish. I must say that if someone with similar attitudes were a formerly faithful and believing family member or friend of mine, and if that person had the same negative feelings and cynical perspectives toward the Church, I'd find it a real challenge to want to spend much time with that person. But if in spite of someone's lost faith a person remains a very cheerful, positive and loving, then it would be more likely I'd still want to spend time with that person. Hopefully, this is the case with you, and then it would be your family's fault. But let's be honest and admit that it's very challenging and stressful to try to maintain friendships with people who have cynical and negative feelings toward the most important and cherished things in another person's life. I know what I'm saying may seem harsh, but as Walter Cronkite used to say, "that's the way it is..." 

Edited by teddyaware
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i'll tell you what I think may be your problem with your family and friends: If what you say and the way you comport yourself on this board is a fair representation of who and what you are at this time in your life with regard to your feelings and views on the LDS Church, I can easily understand why your LDS family and friends would be somewhat standoffish. I must say that if someone with similar attitudes were a formerly faithful and believing family member or friend of mine, and if that person had the same negative feelings and cynical perspectives toward the Church, I'd find it a real challenge to want to spend much time with that person. But if in spite of someone's lost faith a person remains a very cheerful, positive and loving, then it would be more likely I'd still want to spend time with that person. Hopefully, this is the case with you, and then it would be your family's fault. But let's be honest and admit that it's very challenging and stressful to try to maintain friendships with people who have cynical and negative feelings toward the most important and cherished things in another person's life. I know what I'm saying may seem harsh, but as Walter Cronkite used to say, "that's the way it is..."

I'm the latter. I just haven't got a calling that puts me with a lot of social interaction. I've quit visiting teaching or having them come. Believe me,I wish it didn't have to be that way. But don't want to get into the whole story. It just seems the bishop and stake president would get people to visit anyway or the RS president. But they don't have anything to do with me. No one knows about my issues except for the stake president, he's my former bishop and more than likely my current bishop, also. It's hands off.

I know what you're thinking, damned if they do and damned if they don't. Just saying, don't rely on ward family to be there unless it's part of their calling. Keep ties with your nonmember friends before joining the church if you do Lostone.

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I am not interested in Mormonism because my friends or any popularity influence. I am finding more interests in it because I am finding more of what I am seeking in it compared to other faiths I have been connected to and know from first hand experience. I joined my current church for all the right reasons, but found limitations that I seek to go beyond. Mormonism might be what I am seeking, but I do not want to say for sure at this time. I need more time to explore and learn before I decide.

 

I joined 44 years ago, and have enjoyed every minute of it. It has been a pure joy and a privilege to know and work along side of some of the most friendly, caring, devoutly religious people there are.  43 years ago I married the woman I love and want to be with her, and our family, not only for the rest of my life but for eternity as well. Always seek the Lord's wisdom in everything you do, including whether to join this Church or not. May he bless you and yours in that task.

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I'm the latter. I just haven't got a calling that puts me with a lot of social interaction. I've quit visiting teaching or having them come. Believe me,I wish it didn't have to be that way. But don't want to get into the whole story. It just seems the bishop and stake president would get people to visit anyway or the RS president. But they don't have anything to do with me. No one knows about my issues except for the stake president, he's my former bishop and more than likely my current bishop, also. It's hands off.

I know what you're thinking, damned if they do and damned if they don't. Just saying, don't rely on ward family to be there unless it's part of their calling. Keep ties with your nonmember friends before joining the church if you do Lostone.

 

So tell me, how does a former Evangelical who converts to the LDS Church successfully keep friendship ties open with his non-LDS Christian friends when his friends will most likely shun him and say that by becoming a 'Mormon' he's condemned himself to hell?

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Just joined...I found the discussion here very interesting.  Tacenda's situation is very similar to people I have known through the years and teddyaware's assessment is pretty much right on point.

I would like to add another perspective:  Church leaders are bound to mess up, many times without realizing the mistake, as they are not perfect.  Unfortunately this may include not providing the care or attention somebody may be needing or the close knowledge of the trials they are experiencing.  When a bishop is released he will usually "pass the baton" and speak of people he may be working/helping to the new bishop...but the new bishop may be overwhelmed with the new assignment that sometimes people fall through the cracks.  The problem may be accentuated when the new bishop calls new leaders of the unit organizations.  You get the point.

I have often said that there is nothing that someone can say or do to me that would stop me from coming to Church...I go there to worship.  Some people in all wards are less enthused to see you or greet you, but that really has no bearing on what I expect to get there.  I could take offense as I am Hispanic and look different than everybody else already but am not wired that way.

I loved the closeness of Utah wards...I have now lived in the North East for the last 15 years and am perfectly happy with that as well.

I wish you the best.

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I dont see how one can base Truth upon how one is treated? Christ Himself was treated poorly, but that didn't stop Him from being God. Infact, He was quite alone at the end of His life. If we try to discern Truth based upon how human beings treat up, we will be lead astray. It's not evidence of Truth, and it can be very distorting. :nea:

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I dont see how one can base Truth upon how one is treated? Christ Himself was treated poorly, but that didn't stop Him from being God. Infact, He was quite alone at the end of His life. If we try to discern Truth based upon how human beings treat up, we will be lead astray. It's not evidence of Truth, and it can be very distorting. :nea:

That should be *treat us*

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