LOSTONE Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 I just got an email from a friend I have had for well about 2 plus years. They told me that they can no longer be friends with me because I am not a Mormon or apart of the LDS family. I was very shocked by this to say the least.I emailed them back, asking them where this suddenly came from and if it was anything I said or did to bring about this matter? I did not expect to get a reply from them, but I did with in minutes. They said that they were told “not to associate in friendship with non-LDS people for it will only taint them and their believes so our friendship is now over. Please do not contact me again.”I have never heard of this before and never had any issues with my friends who are LDS over any issue of me not being LDS. I have been respectful and considerate to my friends and their believes regardless of my believes being different. I even at times, have defended Mormons by those who attack them out of ignorance. I never thought I did anything wrong as a friend. I am shocked and thinking what? Really? Why? I emailed this friend back asking if we can talk about this, but this time, have yet to get any reply. Wow...this is a first. :sorry: Link to comment
Calm Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 This is totally against our teachings. I will post some material later if someone else doesn't get to it first, but there is plenty of stuff on lds.org in conference talks and other stuff that you could direct him to in order to demonstrate whoever told him this is wrong. 1 Link to comment
bluebell Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 The reason you've never heard anything like this from any of your other LDS friends LOSTONE is because it's not true. Not even a little bit. 4 Link to comment
Bobbieaware Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 (edited) I just got an email from a friend I have had for well about 2 plus years. They told me that they can no longer be friends with me because I am not a Mormon or apart of the LDS family. I was very shocked by this to say the least.I emailed them back, asking them where this suddenly came from and if it was anything I said or did to bring about this matter? I did not expect to get a reply from them, but I did with in minutes. They said that they were told “not to associate in friendship with non-LDS people for it will only taint them and their believes so our friendship is now over. Please do not contact me again.”I have never heard of this before and never had any issues with my friends who are LDS over any issue of me not being LDS. I have been respectful and considerate to my friends and their believes regardless of my believes being different. I even at times, have defended Mormons by those who attack them out of ignorance. I never thought I did anything wrong as a friend. I am shocked and thinking what? Really? Why? I emailed this friend back asking if we can talk about this, but this time, have yet to get any reply. Wow...this is a first. :sorry: Are the folks who ended your friendship relatively new to the Church or are they long-time members? Either way, you could write them back and copy & paste the responses you get on this thread and see what they say. It could very well be there's some other reason why they want to end the friendship and they're just using a pretended church policy as an excuse. If they are using the church as an excuse, it's flat-out 100% wrong to do what they did. But I must say, if there really is no other legitimate (in their mind) reason for ending the friendship, this is one of the strangest things I've ever heard. After all, LDS members are always encouraged to make friends of non-members. Edited February 13, 2015 by Bobbieaware 1 Link to comment
Tacenda Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 http://ldsliving.com/story/68027-commentary-to-mormons-is-shunning-something-we-still-do-in-2012 It can happen, but it's not suppose to!!! Link to comment
Kenngo1969 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 (edited) LostOne, Your experience is a complete aberration. After all, it's very hard to be a member of a missionary church if one is supposed to associate only with one's own "religious kind," and we take the missionary commission to take the Gospel to the ends of the Earth very seriously. We're commanded to be "in the world but not of the world," and to be "wise as serpents, but harmless as doves." Unfortunately, a much more common experience is when one who is afflicted with a misguided sense of missionary zeal "befriends" another solely for the purpose of converting him, and, upon realizing that there is no possibility a conversion will occur, curtails the association (but that usually happens without the "missionary" saying anything; after all, who wants to be seen as someone who befriends another solely to convert him?) Please let me assure you that you've still got plenty of friends in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As painful as it might seem to lose what you thought was a valuable friendship, no one needs "friends" who make their "friendship" contingent upon religious commonalities. My $0.02. I wish you well. Edited February 13, 2015 by Kenngo1969 Link to comment
Ham Clam Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Send them the link to this article that is on LDS.org: "Doctrine of Inclusion" by M. Russell Ballard. That is really weird behavior. Are you in the "Mormon Corridor"? 1 Link to comment
rpn Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 If you are bold and you know where the member goes to church, you could make an appointment with his bishops, take in the emails and ask the bishop if he knows of any reason the man might be doing that. There may be some local counsel that the man has misunderstood. Now that you cannot talk with the guy, maybe his bishop will know how the misunderstanding might ave occurred. Link to comment
Garden Girl Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Hello Lostone...Let me add my voice to those here who have assured you that whoever this person is, they are completely wrong.... I'm so sorry and I urge you to tell them that all of your LDS friends on this board have expressed surprise at such a thing as your friend is saying. It is totally against our teachings... so please do not let this dissuade you from posting here or becoming more familiar with the LDS Church in general... GG Link to comment
LOSTONE Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 Thank you all for such amazingly supportive and insightful responses to my post. I have to be honest, I am still hurt by what this person emailed me and the lost of their friendship. I value people alot more than one might get the impression of so any lost of who I think is a good person always hurts me.I have went back to http://www.mormon.org/faq and read over it all. Nothing in there or on the rest of the site gives me any impression that I am not welcomed as a friend of a Mormon or the LDS based on me not being Mormon. If anything, I get the understanding I am welcomed as long as I am not an idiot of some kind. Sorry, best way I could explain it. So I don’t get this person’s email at all.I have thought about bring this up to the local meeting house staff. There is one very close to my home that I have been to several times before and have some friends who attend there. I think before I go to that point, I should try to reach out to this person first and see if I can talk with them. Get a better understanding of what is going on and why. This would probably be the most respectful way to handle this and not make them feel uncomfortable with my approach. May not work, but I think I should try.I have some great friends who are Mormon. They don’t hide who they are when they are in public with me and I am not ashamed to be with them as they are. I am honored to have such friends to spend time with and grateful they want to spend time with me. Just because I don’t hold the same beliefs my friends do doesn’t make me or them any less of who we are.If it was not for my wife, I would probably would at least have attended services a few times at the meeting house near me. I love my wife, but she loves the church we go to now and is not comfortable with me connecting with the LDS or Mormons. I tend to not inform her of my connections for the sake of not wanting to argue with her. She is a good woman, but there are considerations I have to give. Anyways...Thanks again for all the replies. Very helpful and means alot. Best to all. 1 Link to comment
LOSTONE Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 P.S ~ One other thing I will say is that Mormons have the best and strongest sense of family I have ever seen in any one before. Everyone one I know who is Mormon has such a solid family value and if they are with in a Mormon family, they have a wonderful family that I have never seen in anyone else. That alone is amazing and even if my beliefs are different, I still can grow with my Mormon friends. Link to comment
Traela Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Shortly after my parents moved to the Mormon Corridor (so, 20+ years ago) there was actually a debate in Relief Society on whether Mormon kids should be allowed to play with non-Mormons. Mom must have been off her game that day, because normally she would let everyone know, very clearly, what she thinks of such nonsense.Lostone, I'm sorry there are still idiots who think this way. I don't know how they can ask God to bless the missionaries while treating non-LDS friends and neighbors like that. For that matter, they have to have been sleeping through a lot of years of church meetings and General Conferences to believe it's acceptable. 3 Link to comment
The Nehor Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 I find it hard to believe they are sincere in this unless the see you as a negative influence on them. I suspect that what really happened is they wanted to terminate the friendship and are using this as an excuse. Happens a lot in dating and friendships where people do not feel connected so they pick a flimsy excuse and use it for why they are ending the relationship instead of being honest. My money would be on this explanation. Link to comment
Calm Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 (edited) Seems a bit juvenile. Like telling someone your parents aren't allowing you when you don't want to do something. Why not just fade away if that is what they wanted like most adults resort to rather than confronting someone when you don't need to? Edited February 14, 2015 by calmoriah Link to comment
The Nehor Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Seems a bit juvenile. Like telling someone your parents aren't allowing you when you don't want to do something. Why not just fade away if that is what they wanted like most adults resort to rather than confronting someone when you don't need to?It is juvenile. Like silly antics I deal with in corporate politicking. There is no shortage of adults involved in juvenile idiocy. 1 Link to comment
Rain Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 This is NOT a mormon corridor problem. It is s problem with people not listening to leaders and not being Christlike and it happens everywhere. And it is a rare thing because with nearly 40 years of living in the "corridor" I know not one person who felt that way and if I ever did hear someone do that they would get an earful of my displeasure.That is not to say it doesn't happen. While I have not known people personally, I am sure it has happened though most of the time I am sure it is a miscommunication. Lostone - I am so sorry. I can only imagine how that felt. I don't remember where you live, but if you are anywhere near Mesa, Az we would love to have you and your wife over as our friends. 2 Link to comment
LOSTONE Posted February 14, 2015 Author Share Posted February 14, 2015 I don’t believe my desire to confront this friend about their email to end our friendship as juvenile. I intent to confront them in private and with respectful maturity. I will take sometime before confronting this person to ensure I am in a clear and calm emotional mindset. I believe I am entitle to know the truth about what just happened and why I was lied to.This should not be a Mormon thing, but given this person used Mormon doctoring, which they used incorrectly and perhaps knowingly false, it seems to have been placed in some degree a Mormon thing. I don’t believe their reason to end our friendship has any true roots in Mormon doctrine and instead, I was lied to. I would like to know the truth and will seek it out with them.@ Rain, Thank you for the kind offer. I live in an adjoining state to Arizona so it’s not possible for me to accept your offer. Never the less, thank you and thank all those who have shared thoughts and insights and support on this matter. I will continue to have my friendships regardless of the differences in beliefs. Link to comment
Calm Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 I don’t believe my desire to confront this friend about their email to end our friendship as juvenile Only your friend is being juvenile, not your own response of wanting to know why. Sorry for the miscommunication. 1 Link to comment
KevinG Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 I stay close to my non-mormon friends. It's easier to kidnap them and lock them in the attic of the Salt Lake Temple that way. Sadly a few have slipped their bonds, jumped from the temple roof into the great salt lake and swam away.Honestly I enjoy some of my non-mormon friends better than ward members. And some of the kids non-mormon friends are better at respecting their values than their mormon friends at times. Link to comment
LOSTONE Posted February 15, 2015 Author Share Posted February 15, 2015 Only your friend is being juvenile, not your own response of wanting to know why. Sorry for the miscommunication. I’m sorry. The misunderstanding in how I read your reply the first time. After taking more clear time to read it, I understand what you where saying. * * * I stay close to my non-mormon friends. It's easier to kidnap them and lock them in the attic of the Salt Lake Temple that way. Sadly a few have slipped their bonds, jumped from the temple roof into the great salt lake and swam away.Honestly I enjoy some of my non-mormon friends better than ward members. And some of the kids non-mormon friends are better at respecting their values than their mormon friends at times. Are you bleeping kidding me?! Non-Mormon friends are kept in the attic and there is a salty lake as an escape route? Should I drop my Mormon friends now cause I don’t do good with heights and can’t swim for nothing. Oh wait... if there is donuts, I'll stay. Link to comment
Rain Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 (edited) There are always donuts or snack of some kind. We are not called The Church of Jesus Christ of Little Dessert Snacks for nothing (the family joke about how often DD brings treats home from Young Women.) Edited February 15, 2015 by Rain 2 Link to comment
KevinG Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 There are always donuts or snack of some kind. We are not called The Church of Jesus Christ of Little Dessert Snacks for nothing (the family joke about how often DD brings treats home from Young Women.)Wherever two or more of you shall gather there will be snacks. The Lutherans version says "hot dish" and the Methodists go full "potluck". 1 Link to comment
ERayR Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Wherever two or more of you shall gather there will be snacks. The Lutherans version says "hot dish" and the Methodists go full "potluck". How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb. Three. One to change the bulb and two to bring treats. Link to comment
LOSTONE Posted February 20, 2015 Author Share Posted February 20, 2015 I am lost on how this thread got off track. Also, does this mean Mormons feed better than others? If so, tell me donuts are not a sin.... Link to comment
ERayR Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 I am lost on how this thread got off track. Also, does this mean Mormons feed better than others? If so, tell me donuts are not a sin.... A couple of donuts no. A dozen at a sitting day after day - probably. Link to comment
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