What Is The Damage That Gay Marriage Does To Children

[DBMormon]

So bear with me.... In Utah right now there is a huge confrontation going on regarding Marriage Equality. Those in favor of keeping marriage between one man and one woman are saying that gay marriage hurts children. I am curious..... how exactly is a child harmed by having two gay parents who are legally married? So what is the harm to a child who has parents that are married and gay?

[JLHPROF]

So bear with me.... In Utah right now there is a huge confrontation going on regarding Marriage Equality. Those in favor of keeping marriage between one man and one woman are saying that gay marriage hurts children. I am curious..... how exactly is a child harmed by having two gay parents who are legally married? So what is the harm to a child who has parents that are married and gay?

 

Well, they are raised accepting sin as ok.  That's pretty harmful.

[Duncan]

There is this report from Canada

 

http://www.imfcanada.org/issues/children-parents-who-have-same-sex-relationships-new-study

Edited September 20, 2014 by Duncan

[DBMormon]

There is this report from Canada

 

http://www.imfcanada.org/issues/children-parents-who-have-same-sex-relationships-new-study

Thank you.  My issue here is that this is a study of people in gay relationships and not neceassarily gay marriage. I would think we would find the same of kids in a home of nonmarried heterosexuals vs married heterosexual parents

[DBMormon]

Well, they are raised accepting sin as ok.  That's pretty harmful.

My parents smoked, my dad drank heavily, my family is full of people breaking the law of chastity.  I have been unharmed (other than the second hand smoke).  I am not talking about religious belief but rather physical, emotional, or other harm to the child.  You can protest a public issue with a spiritual repercussions, but that is another arena.  It simply won't fly.   

Edited September 20, 2014 by DBMormon

[katherine the great]

There is this report from Canada

 

http://www.imfcanada.org/issues/children-parents-who-have-same-sex-relationships-new-study

This study does not address gay marriage at all.  The study group was among people who had a parent who had ever had any type of a same sex romantic relationship.  In fact all but two of the subjects with lesbian mothers were not even raised by the gay parent!  If anything, this is a reflection of children from divorced parents, not married same sex relationships.

[Duncan]

Thank you.  My issue here is that this is a study of people in gay relationships and not neceassarily gay marriage. I would think we would find the same of kids in a home of nonmarried heterosexuals vs married heterosexual parents

 

 

well, if you would find the same stuff regardless of the parents sexual preferances then I don't understand why you are asking the question or what answer you are seeking

[Duncan]

This study does not address gay marriage at all.  The study group was among people who had a parent who had ever had any type of a same sex romantic relationship.  In fact all but two of the subjects with lesbian mothers were not even raised by the gay parent!  If anything, this is a reflection of children from divorced parents, not married same sex relationships.

 

 

I don't know if it says divorced parents but at some point these folks had some kind of a homosexual relationship, which who knows if their current partner would be terribly thrilled about -But I think the study seems to say that having two gay parents isn't the ideal environment in which to raise a child. Mind you to get the best results of what form of parenting is best you'd have to almost isolate people and raise a kid and that doesn't seem to be happening anywhere that I am aware of, so people are influenced by many factors regardless of who their parents are

Edited September 20, 2014 by Duncan

[ksfisher]

My parents smoked, my dad drank heavily, my family is full of people breaking the law of chastity.  I have been unharmed (other than the second hand smoke).  I am not talking about religious belief but rather physical, emotional, or other harm to the child.  You can protest a public issue with a spiritual repercussions, but that is another arena.  It simply won't fly.   

 

God tells us that all things are spiritual to him:

 

34 Wherefore, verily I say unto you that all things unto me are spiritual, and not at any time have I given unto you a law which was temporal; neither any man, nor the children of men; neither Adam, your father, whom I created.

D&C 29:34

 

So saying that a reason doesn't fly because it only has spiritual implications "simply won't fly."

[Ahab]

So bear with me.... In Utah right now there is a huge confrontation going on regarding Marriage Equality. Those in favor of keeping marriage between one man and one woman are saying that gay marriage hurts children. I am curious..... how exactly is a child harmed by having two gay parents who are legally married? So what is the harm to a child who has parents that are married and gay?

Harm may not be exactly the right word to use but those who say there is harm in that are usually talking about the loss that children in those situations are living with by not being raised properly by their real as in biological parents.

Those same people will usually also say there is harm to children when they're not raised properly by anyone, too, such as in any home where they are being physically or mentally or sexually abused, so it's not just about being raised by "gay" people.

I say anytime any child is not being raised properly they are being harmed in some way, even when they have been given up for adoption by their real biological parents who could have instead raised them properly.

[MormonFreeThinker]

My parents smoked, my dad drank heavily, my family is full of people breaking the law of chastity.  I have been unharmed (other than the second hand smoke).  I am not talking about religious belief but rather physical, emotional, or other harm to the child.  You can protest a public issue with a spiritual repercussions, but that is another arena.  It simply won't fly.   

 

How does public nudity in society affect families? Do you support public nudity? Why not? Imagine if public nudity becomes acceptable in society, how would that affect families? In Africa, in some cities, in some tribes, public nudity is completely normal. 

 

Some people feel that public nudity is a right 

http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/21/us/california-san-francisco-nudity

 

Again, In some places of Africa and South America, public nudity is completely normal. 

 

How about polygamy? Most gay marriage proponents are against polygamy. Are you against polygamy?  

Please answer my questions, are you against polygamy and public nudity? Why? 

 

I do not support gay marriage, polygamy, and public nudity. 

[tonie]

How does public nudity in society affect families? Do you support public nudity? Why not? Imagine if public nudity becomes acceptable in society, how would that affect families? In Africa, in some cities, in some tribes, public nudity is completely normal.

Some people feel that public nudity is a right

http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/21/us/california-san-francisco-nudity

Again, In some places of Africa and South America, public nudity is completely normal.

How about polygamy? Most gay marriage proponents are against polygamy. Are you against polygamy?

Please answer my questions, are you against polygamy and public nudity? Why?

I do not support gay marriage, polygamy, and public nudity.

This is a very pathetic attempt at a response. Are you willing to address the question or are you just going to create diversionary discussions?

Outside of same sex marriage being sin according to LDS beliefs, which is an appeal to principles which violate the Constitution of the United States and likely an appeal to violate Section 134 of the Doctrine and Covenants, there does seem to be Constitutional reasons for prohibiting same sex marriage or prohibiting adoption by same sex couples.

What if any temporal harm befalls children raised by same sex couples is yet to be seen.

[thesometimesaint]

To date there is no evidence that children of SS couples are in anyway substantially different than their peers of OS couples. 

[MormonFreeThinker]

This is a very pathetic attempt at a response. Are you willing to address the question or are you just going to create diversionary discussions?

Outside of same sex marriage being sin according to LDS beliefs, which is an appeal to principles which violate the Constitution of the United States and likely an appeal to violate Section 134 of the Doctrine and Covenants, there does seem to be Constitutional reasons for prohibiting same sex marriage or prohibiting adoption by same sex couples.

What if any temporal harm befalls children raised by same sex couples is yet to be seen.

 

"What if" is not a good response, you need to present evidence from a reliable source. 

 

My response attempts to make people think. 

[MormonFreeThinker]

To date there is no evidence that children of SS couples are in anyway substantially different than their peers of OS couples. 

 

Please answer my questions See post #11 

[Jeanne]

To date there is no evidence that children of SS couples are in anyway substantially different than their peers of OS couples. 

Exactly.  Just my opinion but I think if a child's home is filled with love, acceptance and consistency..that child can be way ahead of so many others..which has nothing to do with gender.

[CV75]

You can protest a public issue with a spiritual repercussions, but that is another arena.  It simply won't fly.   

Only when the arena has been successfully compartmentalized (divide and conquer).

[DJBrown]

So bear with me.... In Utah right now there is a huge confrontation going on regarding Marriage Equality. Those in favor of keeping marriage between one man and one woman are saying that gay marriage hurts children. I am curious..... how exactly is a child harmed by having two gay parents who are legally married? So what is the harm to a child who has parents that are married and gay?

 

I suggest reading the research by Mark Regneres.  As expected, it has resulted in a firestorm of controversy.  But it is some of the best research out there on the topic of children of gay parents.  There are so very many ridiculously flawed studies out there claiming there is no difference between children of traditional heterosexual parents and homosexual parents.  

 

http://www.markregnerus.com/uploads/4/0/6/5/4065759/regnerus_july_2012_ssr.pdf

 

In short, this study suggests that children of homosexual parents achieve a lower level of education, have more sexual partners, more often struggle with substance abuse, have more trouble with the law, and report a significantly lower level of fulfillment in their lives than children from traditional homes.   They score lower on pretty much every measure of life success.   

[katherine the great]

I don't know if it says divorced parents but at some point these folks had some kind of a homosexual relationship, which who knows if their current partner would be terribly thrilled about -But I think the study seems to say that having two gay parents isn't the ideal environment in which to raise a child. Mind you to get the best results of what form of parenting is best you'd have to almost isolate people and raise a kid and that doesn't seem to be happening anywhere that I am aware of, so people are influenced by many factors regardless of who their parents are

They need to do the study in homes where the children are being raised by gay married parents.  Otherwise it is not applicable to the OP's question.  This is a quote from the study:  "Of the 175 adult children with lesbian mothers, two reported that they lived with their mothers for their whole childhood."  Only TWO of the test subjects were actually even raised by their lesbian mothers--that's about one percent.  How are these statistics relevant to children raised in same sex parent homes?

[thesometimesaint]

How does public nudity in society affect families? Do you support public nudity? Why not? Imagine if public nudity becomes acceptable in society, how would that affect families? In Africa, in some cities, in some tribes, public nudity is completely normal. 

 

Some people feel that public nudity is a right 

http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/21/us/california-san-francisco-nudity

 

Again, In some places of Africa and South America, public nudity is completely normal. 

 

How about polygamy? Most gay marriage proponents are against polygamy. Are you against polygamy?  

Please answer my questions, are you against polygamy and public nudity? Why? 

 

I do not support gay marriage, polygamy, and public nudity. 

 

I wear clothing for two very good reasons, for protection from the elements, and not to scare people.

 

I have a hard enough time with just one wife, and have no desire for more than one.

[sethpayne]

So bear with me.... In Utah right now there is a huge confrontation going on regarding Marriage Equality. Those in favor of keeping marriage between one man and one woman are saying that gay marriage hurts children. I am curious..... how exactly is a child harmed by having two gay parents who are legally married? So what is the harm to a child who has parents that are married and gay?

 

Here's the horrible damage as I see it:

 

• Gay couples enlarge the pool of potential adoptive parents thus providing stable environments for children with no homes
• Social support for committed, stable, long-term, gay relationships which support is a condemnation of promiscuous and unsafe behavior 

Gay marriage is legal here in WA and i can tell you that it is a struggle, every day, to keep my heterosexual marriage together.  Expect to see complete social breakdown in the Pacific Northwest within years, if not months

[Duncan]

They need to do the study in homes where the children are being raised by gay married parents.  Otherwise it is not applicable to the OP's question.  This is a quote from the study:  "Of the 175 adult children with lesbian mothers, two reported that they lived with their mothers for their whole childhood."  Only TWO of the test subjects were actually even raised by their lesbian mothers--that's about one percent.  How are these statistics relevant to children raised in same sex parent homes?

 

I kind of wonder if it's too soon to even get data as gay marriage isn't legalized everywhere and so Canada I think it's only been here maybe 10-15 years I think? so i guess in sometime more studies will come out

 

maybe they figure if one married parent is gay or had some kind of relationship in the past or whatever and these are the results then what will happen if both are gay? 

[Kind Debater]

I am curious..... how exactly is a child harmed by having two gay parents who are legally married? So what is the harm to a child who has parents that are married and gay?

Children benefit from having parents of both genders. Obviously there are benefits to having a parent of the child's same gender, but opposite-gender parents are also important. Men and women parent bring different strengths to the table in terms of parenting.

I'm guessing from your profile picture that you're a father yourself. Do your children benefit from having you around as a male figure? Would they be as well off if they had been raised by your wife and other women, with no father figure around?

From https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm:

The way fathers play with their children also has an important impact on a child's emotional and social development. Fathers spend a much higher percentage of their one-on-one interaction with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers. From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior. Rough-housing with dad, for example, can teach children how to deal with aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions. Generally speaking, fathers also tend to promote independence and an orientation to the outside world. Fathers often push achievement while mothers stress nurturing, both of which are important to healthy development. As a result, children who grow up with involved fathers are more comfortable exploring the world around them and more likely to exhibit self-control and pro-social behavior.

There would be similar issues for a child raised by two fathers with no mother figure involved.

There are a lot of studies on the impact of fatherhood quoted here, though in some cases the results are due to the poverty, stress, etc. of children being raised by a single mother: http://www.fatherhood.org/statistics-on-father-absence-download

[Traela]

The harm is in thinking that it's ok to deprive a child of a parent. Not because of tragedy or abandonment, but because the parents decided that their desires were more important than the child's needs. (FWIW, I have the same objection to "single parents by choice.") when I have seen this issue addressed with male couples the selfishness is blatant: "of course she wants a mother, but she's just going to have to learn that it isn't going to happen." With lesbian couples, there is often an added element of sexism: "we feel our sons are better off being raised by two nurturers." Incidentally, those are both almost exact quotes. The first may not sound so bad, but the guy's tone was absolutely dismissive.

Honestly, I was neutral, even leaning towards Why Not? until I heard these more than ten years ago, on shows that were trying to be sympathetic. Since then, I have seen that these were not isolated views.

[katherine the great]

Children benefit from having parents of both genders. Obviously there are benefits to having a parent of the child's same gender, but opposite-gender parents are also important. Men and women parent bring different strengths to the table in terms of parenting

 

I agree that having parents of each sex is beneficial to a child if they are good parents.  However, I don't think it is fair to assume that children who are raised with same sex parents are not provided with a role model of the opposite sex.  There are grandparents, aunts and uncles, mentors, etc.  (I really hate to hear the word "gender" substituted for the biological sex of the individual. A "butch"woman often assumes the masculine gender role and an effeminate man assumes the feminine one.  They really are two different things. Just saying...)