New Message Board, Mormon Women Connect

[juliann]

A few of us have started a message board for and about women. http://www.mormonwomenconnect.com/

 

We are still working out the kinks, but I hope you will all take a look and tell me what you think.  It is intended to be a place where women can connect and come to understand each other in spite of differences. 

 

And a big  to Nemesis for his help.

Edited July 13, 2014 by juliann

[Tacenda]

Yay for both of you!!

[juliann]

And men are very welcome if they aren't there to argue or tell women what they should be doing or thinking.  I am hoping that men who have had experience in leadership can explain what their ward or stake have done to involve women.

[mfbukowski]

And men are very welcome if they aren't there to argue or tell women what they should be doing or thinking.  I am hoping that men who have had experience in leadership can explain what their ward or stake have done to involve women.

How about posts to help train women to deal better with male leadership as it exists?  You seemed to like that one post of mine a while back on this subject.

 

I had more evidence this morning that this is essential.

[Tacenda]

How about posts to help train women to deal better with male leadership as it exists? You seemed to like that one post of mine a while back on this subject.

I had more evidence this morning that this is essential.

Care to elaborate MF?

[mfbukowski]

Care to elaborate MF?

Not the details really- it's just that I am seeing repeatedly that sisters tend to be reticent to "take the ball and run with it" (pardon the probably sexist sports reference that I am too dumb to recognize as sexist) when doing so involves gentle reminders to Bishops to take some action or other. Sometimes one has to make suggestions to bishops to delegate authority to get something done which the stake wants to have done, and the bishop is too busy to do.

Brethren seem to have no trouble reminding the Bishop, but repeatedly I see sisters not wanting to "nag" the Bishop even in a gentle way.

[name]

How about posts to help train women

Juliann,

You might want to reconsider "men are very welcome" to this new board!

Ha!

[mfbukowski]

Juliann,

You might want to reconsider "men are very welcome" to this new board!

Ha!

Thanks for the confirmation that men and women are from separate planets. If you want to stay that way, keep us out of your world. Edited July 14, 2014 by mfbukowski

[juliann]

How about posts to help train women to deal better with male leadership as it exists?  You seemed to like that one post of mine a while back on this subject.

 

I had more evidence this morning that this is essential.

 

Yes...anything that will give information rather than a lecture. What you said was helpful.

 

Juliann,

You might want to reconsider "men are very welcome" to this new board!

Ha!

 

Well, I did set up conditions and it will be strictly enforced. It is very helpful to hear about what is being done on the local level. It helps those who are discouraged and gives hope that change is happening.

[mfbukowski]

Yes...anything that will give information rather than a lecture. What you said was helpful.

 

 

Well, I did set up conditions and it will be strictly enforced. It is very helpful to hear about what is being done on the local level. It helps those who are discouraged and gives hope that change is happening.

Thanks! Got it!

[juliann]

I set up a folder to start with.  One thing men can do is ask questions if they don't understand where women are coming from and try to get a better idea of what to say and not say.  But NO arguing with women on this board.

[Storm Rider]

I support the concept of this forum, but it does make me wonder in all of the friction and accusations between genders in US society over the past several decades.  How often have all men clubs been castigated for their exclusivity?  How many times have exclusive clubs been castigated, regardless of their reasons they have created clubs or organizations, based on similarity or likeness of their membership?

 

I do not want to derail this thread, but I am not opposed for individuals to reflect on when it is acceptable and by whom do we think it is acceptable and why?  

 

These types of groups make sense to me; individuals like to be with other individuals based upon likeness.  We tend to to get very exercised about those groups that have such organizations when it excludes women, Jews, blacks, etc.  Yet, on the other hand we tend to accept those same groups' organizations that exclude men, all non-Jews, and whites.  We humans are an odd lot and are ready to find fault with "them" without applying the same standard to "us".  

 

I hope you are able to make this work and that it becomes a force for good rather than another group that devolves into complaining about all that is wrong.  

[EllenMaksoud]

I support the concept of this forum, but it does make me wonder in all of the friction and accusations between genders in US society over the past several decades.  How often have all men clubs been castigated for their exclusivity?  How many times have exclusive clubs been castigated, regardless of their reasons they have created clubs or organizations, based on similarity or likeness of their membership?

 

I do not want to derail this thread, but I am not opposed for individuals to reflect on when it is acceptable and by whom do we think it is acceptable and why?  

 

These types of groups make sense to me; individuals like to be with other individuals based upon likeness.  We tend to to get very exercised about those groups that have such organizations when it excludes women, Jews, blacks, etc.  Yet, on the other hand we tend to accept those same groups' organizations that exclude men, all non-Jews, and whites.  We humans are an odd lot and are ready to find fault with "them" without applying the same standard to "us".  

 

I hope you are able to make this work and that it becomes a force for good rather than another group that devolves into complaining about all that is wrong.  

Men are kind of nice to have around, as long as they don't go into the dominant/abusive/demeaning act.  I fully accept the provisions of Genesis 3:16 but no man needs to rub it in, I know what it says. And, for me, I welcome a strong man around.

 

I worked with mostly men most of my life, and I must say that being retired, and being with mostly women, it is a great relief.

[mfbukowski]

I hope it works out for you because I really would like to see more talk about the blessings given to women and how women share in church authority, and a return to the mindset of Eliza R. Snow among women today.

 

I hope it does not become the same people posting the same opinions without representing the majority of church women.  I would love to see what the majority of LDS women think about these issues.  I would think that would be the challenge here- to find that audience and get them involved.

 

Some of my very best friends are women, and one in particular is my total soul mate and definitely my "better half", though I suppose somehow that phrase is offensive.  Nearly everything I do is to make her happy and I really wish I could be more like her. 

 

I guess I will never get it.

[Calm]

Invite her to post...

[Tacenda]

Invite her to post...

That would be nice, our spouses to get in on the action.  My husband is a member here, but he just wants to give people a hard time.  He doesn't really take this forum very seriously, like I do.  He isn't much of a reader or writer.  But he is one heck of a creative guy and hard worker.   

[Calm]

The new MWC board just went down for me…anyone else having that problem?

[juliann]

This is where we scream NEMESIS!!!

[Calm]

And it is up again….you must have a very loud scream.

Edited July 15, 2014 by calmoriah

[Rain]

 

Some of my very best friends are women, and one in particular is my total soul mate and definitely my "better half", though I suppose somehow that phrase is offensive.  Nearly everything I do is to make her happy and I really wish I could be more like her. 

 

I guess I will never get it.

 

I have never had a problem when men, or women, sincerely talk about their spouse as their better half. I only don't like it when I hear over and over again that (all) women are more spiritual than (all) men. 

[Calm]

I think looking on the spouse as equal or better is ideal as long as the last isn't used as an excuse not to try and better oneself and instead one uses it to help motivate oneself to be the kind of partner the other deserves. I see myself as better, same and much worse in some areas...wouldn't have a clue how it all balances out. Wanting him to feel the love he deserves is a big motivator for me.

[Ahab]

But NO arguing with women on this board.

What about if... nevermind, you might construe that as an argument.

I may come around sometimes to express gratitude and give words of encouragement but if any kind of banter is forbidden I probably won't stay very long.

But you women enjoy yourselves as much as you want to. You're all doing very well! I'm very thankful to have someone of your sex on my team!

[Erin15]

One thing men can do is ask questions if they don't understand where women are coming from and try to get a better idea of what to say and not say. But NO arguing with women on this board.

So, women are allowed to argue with women but men are not?

I thought that the value of an argument must be based upon it's own merits, regardless of the source?

Can censoring arguments based on the gender of the person they come from, rather than considering the merit of the argument itself, be construed as anything but sexist?

I don't think it can.

Either sexism is wrong or it isn't. You cannot have it both ways. Being sexist against men is just as wrong as being sexist against women.

I find the underlying concept of this to be morally reprehensible.

[Storm Rider]

So, women are allowed to argue with women but men are not?

I thought that the value of an argument must be based upon it's own merits, regardless of the source?

Can censoring arguments based on the gender of the person they come from, rather than considering the merit of the argument itself, be construed as anything but sexist?

I don't think it can.

Either sexism is wrong or it isn't. You cannot have it both ways. Being sexist against men is just as wrong as being sexist against women.

I find the underlying concept of this to be morally reprehensible.

 

Erin, Juliann is quite capable of defending herself, but what I would propose is that what she is seeking to create is a place for women to get together and talk amongst themselves.  I suspect that you may be struggling over wording rather than what she is actually seeking to portray.  Most of us can appreciate being able to let our hair down and relax with the "guys".  She is attempting to create such a milieu for LDS women.

 

I absolutely agree that those who can appreciate social organizations for the themselves are hypocrites if they condemn doing the same thing for other groups.  Had you taken some of her language and exchanged men for women she would be one of the first to be riled about it.  This is what helps me to think that it is more a problem with communication than where her heart is or her objectives.

 

As I stated above, if this just turns into a whine and complain session about how lousy men are and why women need to be in control in the Church it will lose its potential for good.

Edited July 16, 2014 by Storm Rider

[Calm]

,"

As I stated above, if this just turns into a whine and complain session about how lousy men are and why women need to be in control in the Church it will lose its potential for good."

We are very clear on where we want it to go, complaining will only be allowed with the intent to find solutions and we intend to work with the current structure so hardly women in control...at least nothan the areas already open to such leadership by church policy and structure, if not by tradition.

The Church itself has moved into a lot of these areas such as the women of conviction site...we mean to take the church's offerings of resources and make the most of them.

The purpose is to create a greater sense of history, connection and language to discuss what places women have in the faith, in the structure and in eternity. We will not be creating petitions or fighting battles with each other. We will be sharing ideas about what works now, not insisting that some pie in the sky crusade be implemented.

We are looking to find a common language that works first among women because that will come easiest and that we can then expand to the greater community if they desire it.

The point of the board is not to prove someone right and the other wrong, it is to be a safe space for discussion. Arguments, debates...not really helpful in the long run; sharing experiences, ideas, discussing solutions and potentials, creating a sense of sisterhood, not a hierarchy of minds...women and men bring what they have to offer and hopefully the pot luck approach will yield a feast.

You will note there is nothing in the below about women arguing with women.

Erin, if you feel argument is the only way you can participate, you should probably not sign up. But feel free to lurk for awhile and observe and if you can post in a significantly less confrontative style than you do on this board, you can join to see if you can adapt your style enough to contribute without contention (civil and reasoned disagreement is welcomed, we don't want to be an echo chamber, we need realistic approaches, etc.; contention otoh will not be tolerated).

Edited July 16, 2014 by calmoriah