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Adult Child Is Now Agnostic


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Hello Val...

 

haven't talked to you in ages... I've been too busy watching BYU sports ;)  Go Cougs! HERESY!!

 

Perhaps it is time to do just this, i.e., not talk about religion... Maybe you've already done this, but I think you need to sit her down, take her by the hands and tell her... Mom, I love you but when we argue about the Church or you criticize me it just makes us further apart, and I don't want that... you've done all you can... but I must do what  I consider is right for me... I want to stay close to you and our family... etc.

If it means having to give a little while still standing up for yourself, then do it.  You don't want to be alienated (my mom and dad finally got over the initial hurt of my choosing to be inactive, so I was able to retain the good feelings about the Church during that time, and I continued to pray, read scriptures, food storage, and talk generally about the Church as it related to their activities).  And, as you know, after many years I did return to Church and have been TBM ever since... while you most likely will not return to the Church, at least you can retain good feelings about the time you were active.  Even if you take a different path in another faith...

 

Take care you... GG

 

Wonderful advice. Thanks, GG! You really should get a vaccination for that BYU epidemic...nasty business that is.

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I have some experience with this:  A dear friend of mine left the LDS Church to join a Pentecostal Church.  Remembering two scriptures helped me overcome the initial feelings of sadness and separation:

 

1.  "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God."

2.  "Judge not, that ye be not judged."

 

In this situation, the instructions are clear:  the Lord loves me better when I go out of my way to avoid contention.  And since I have no business judging my friend for his decision, I choose to trust God to make things right for both of us in the end.  My friend knows that I know that he is still a good person, and that I would never--ever--criticize his new church.  And I believe he trusts me enough now (I hope so anyway) not to criticize mine.  This trust is allowing us now to see--again--how very much we actually still share.

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Nehor, I am sure you are a very nice boy and the girl should have realized that. On the other hand, I think my son thinks that Jesus was a great philospher/prophet/guru, but not the living Son of God. So, even though I could have seen the possibility of one of my children being inactive, I didn`t think that the issue of Christ would be a problem. I do feel like we stressed that over the Church itself.

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