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Commiserating With The Greiving.


EllenMaksoud

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So, there is a friend whose wife is diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor that at the rate of its progression will likely take her not long after Christmas. Neither he or is wife are believers so it is difficult to provide any spiritual support, though they do know that I am Mormon. They are in Wales, so it is not possible to just get in my car and pop over there. We do maintain contact on SKYPE as we are both writers and that is how we met, he being much more prolific than I.

 

We were friends when I suddenly came home one evening babbling about the miraculous experience I'd had in Kirtland, Ohio,  and he witnessed the changes it all wrought in my life, so he should be completely unconfused about my position on Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and his church. He was quite angry about his situation tonight, expressing anger at the God that does not exist, according to him. I think it likely that in the coming months he will perhaps be open to some gentle witness of the power of Heavenly Father. Ideally a healing from Mormon Missionaries should hit the spot.

 

So, in my thinking, having witnessed what he did, it would seem that he should be more open. However, he experienced horrific abuse at the hands of the UK youth detention program and later at Borstal. Part of this system was supervised by the English Church system, so he has unflagging bitterness and anger at them.

 

It is unclear to me what to do other than Pray sincerely, and to commiserate with him as much as posible.

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He was quite angry about his situation tonight, expressing anger at the God that does not exist, according to him. I think it likely that in the coming months he will perhaps be open to some gentle witness of the power of Heavenly Father.

 

In my experience this is often the beginning of spiritual rebirth. As one writer put it God usually counters by saying something to the effect of: 'Put down your gun and we'll talk'.

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In my experience this is often the beginning of spiritual rebirth. As one writer put it God usually counters by saying something to the effect of: 'Put down your gun and we'll talk'.

I was just thinking of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's book,"On Death and Dying", and I find her general principles to be ordinarily applicable to many situations in life.  It is hard to know when to speak to him about Jesus Christ, and though usually a tumor the size of hers is terminal in short order.  He is 8 hours later than I, so perhaps later this evening would be a good time to make contact again and judge his state.

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You can go online at mormon.org and find the bishop that lives in his area of the world.   You can then give him the number tell him about blessings, and that they would be available for him or his wife if wants one.    You can even tell them that you'll be glad to call the bishop yourself and ask him to send someone to give the blessings.   What you need to know though, is that it will generally be ward members, and sometimes bishops cannot get anyone to respond to such calls.    

 

You could also fill out a referral card (I think they are online these days at mormon.org) with their address and ask the missionaries to go see him and offer a blessing, if your friend agrees he wants one.  

 

I'm sorry about your friend.  

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You can go online at mormon.org and find the bishop that lives in his area of the world.   You can then give him the number tell him about blessings, and that they would be available for him or his wife if wants one.    You can even tell them that you'll be glad to call the bishop yourself and ask him to send someone to give the blessings.   What you need to know though, is that it will generally be ward members, and sometimes bishops cannot get anyone to respond to such calls.    

 

You could also fill out a referral card (I think they are online these days at mormon.org) with their address and ask the missionaries to go see him and offer a blessing, if your friend agrees he wants one.  

 

I'm sorry about your friend.  

Thank you.  He was not on line today.  At this point, I will wait just a bit because his hostility toward any church is really harsh. I have no idea why he tolerates my talking about God to him. I will pray.

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<snip> have no idea why he tolerates my talking about God to him. <snip>

Because you are not preaching, you are testifying to a truth.

 

I have been immersed in the LDS Gospel since I was 8 years old. Didn't get baptized until I was 14 though. At the age of 11 my next younger sister died from a brain tumor. A year earlier she had undergone surgery to remove as much of it as possible. They only removed a tiny bit as it had completely covered her brain and spinal cord. She passed on Thanksgiving day in 1963. Her funeral was the first LDS funeral I experienced. It wasn't until I was 15, and attended a Catholic funeral for a class mates baby sister that I discovered how comforting LDS funerals are. 

 

Just last year, 3 members of my branch have passed. Then this year two more. The last service was a happy one. The brother who passed knew he was dying. He had prepared for it temporally, getting the finances set to right so his wife would not have to go back to work. Made amends with his children. Then put together his memorial service. He wanted no sad, mournful dirge - he wanted joyful rejoicing. In a letter to his family and his LDS family he wrote that he had gone the next step in his eternal salvation, his mortal body was left behind and his soul was where it was supposed to go. 

 

Knowing the Plan of Salvation that is taught to us, is the single greatest comfort to me as more and more of my loved ones ( LDS and non-LDS) pass on to their next step. http://www.lds.org/topics/plan-of-salvation?lang=eng   I have this bookmarked so I can review it as often as needed. 

 

Ellen, you can put their names in at the temple prayer roll - just call it in. You have a strong testimony - I felt it and the Holy Ghost testified of it to me, when Husband and I met you. Be honest in your conversations. If you can not find anything to say - let him know that. When my best friend/adopted mother/sister in Zion passed last year after 30+ years of friendship, I had no words to express my emotions. Husband and I went to her home, and I told her husband that I truly did not know what to say - that I just could not corral the emotions and words and bring them to light. I hugged him and we held hands and cried together. Then we said in unison: *She is, where I strive to be.* 

 

You and your friends are in my prayers. You are such a sweet and honest person with such a loving and caring soul. 

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Her funeral was the first LDS funeral I experienced. It wasn't until I was 15, and attended a Catholic funeral for a class mates baby sister that I discovered how comforting LDS funerals are. 

 

Knowing the Plan of Salvation that is taught to us, is the single greatest comfort to me as more and more of my loved ones ( LDS and non-LDS) pass on to their next step.

 

 

I don't know what I'd do without the Gospel, and my faith... When my husband passed away unexpectedly, I had been reactivated in the Church for three years after many years of being inactive.   My testimony of the Plan of Salvation... the Plan of Happiness... had come back stronger than ever, so when my non-member husband passed away and I was with his family, I was so comforted and happy because I knew he was just fine and would have the opportunity to hear the gospel... his family was distrought and his brother grieved deeply... (they had no particular or regular faith so didn't even have the general comfort of familiar scriptures).  It was such a contrast... I had to be careful not to appear uncaring of the seriousness of the occasion...

I felt such gratitude for the 38 years we were married... and I knew that soon I would be able to be sealed to him for the eternities...  which happened in 2000...

 

GG

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