Good Talks Vs. Bad Talks

[Duncan]

in the words of Cousin Larry from TV's Perfect Strangers, "Watch and Learn"!

[bluebell]

That was hilarious.

[LordUther]

Brilliant!!

[strappinglad]

I don't know about brilliant , but there is a shine to it.

[Calm]

I don't know about brilliant , but there is a shine to it.

I like that, well played....

[Crazy]

Wow, wish we could show that during a combined meeting!

[urroner]

For those of you are who too are tired of hearing the sickly sweet drone of "Foot Prints in the Sand," there is another such poem which is much better, only because nothing really can get worse. To those who have already read this, it's not about you any way, it's about me and how much I have learnt in preparing this post.

Butt Prints In The Sand

One night I had a wondrous dream.

One set of footprints there was seen.

The footprints of my precious Lord,

But mine were not along the shore.

And then the strangest print appeared.

I asked the Lord,” What have we here?”

This print is large and round and neat.

“But Lord, it’s much too big for feet.”

“My child,” He said in somber tones,

“For miles I carried you alone.

I challenged you to walk in faith,

But you refused and gained no strength.”

“You laid quite still. You would not grow,

This walk is not for me, you know.

So I got tired. I got fed up.

And there I dropped you on your butt.”

“Because in life, there comes a time,

When one must walk, and one must climb,

and one must rise and take a stand;

Or leave his butt-prints in the sand.”

And never ever end a talk with "in the name of THY Son," you're talking to the congregation and he's not their son. Pet peeve.

Also, learn the difference between "ye" and "thou." From wikipedia. Another minor pet peeve, but not a biggie. This is old English

Nominative

/ Oblique

/

Genitive

/

Possessive

1st person

singular I / me / my/mine / mine

plural we / us / our / ours

2nd person

singular informal thou / thee / thy/thine / thine

plural or formal singular ye, you / you / your / yours

3rd person

singular he/she/it / him/her/it / his/her/his (it) / his/hers/his

plural they / them / their / theirs

Also, I used this as an opening in a talk several years ago and I still find it funny.

The bishop decided to have a very special sacrament meeting so he decided to ask the most spiritual person in the ward, but the person said he wasn't going to be able to be there.

So the bishop decided to have the most intellectual person give the talk, but the person said he was going to not be able to be there due to some problems.

Finally the bishop decided to ask the most humble person in the ward to give a talk, and you know, I couldn't say no to the bishop for a third time.

I thought it was pretty funny, until the bishop, told the congregation after my talk, that I was indeed the most humble person in the ward, In fact, I was so humble that if I didn't remind people day in and day out of just how dang humble I was, they would probably forget about it.

[Calm]

Seems like you had the perfect bishop for you, urroner.

[urroner]

Seems like you had the perfect bishop for you, urroner.

The bishop was awesome. He did a temporary move here for three months and we were going to be needing a new bishop soon. He was here without his family and he had an awesome beard and he loved to play D&D. From the very first week he was here, we decided he was going to be the new bishop. He kept reminding us that he was only here for a very short time, was away from his family, had a beard he wasn't going to shave off, and, worst of all, he played dark, vile games schemed from the blackest and deepest abysses from Hell. We told him the Lord would take care of the first three and the fourth, well, he was just a much better man because of it, especially since he had inculcated his sweet innocent children into the ways of paganism, thaumaturgy, and into the esoteric arts of Hack and Slash, the gods of violence.

Just as he was getting ready to move back up to Alabama, NASA decided they needed him down here for a couple of years. He moved back in three weeks. We kept reminding him the first two problems were solved, the Lord had taken care of them and the last two, well, the SP had told him that he could keep the beard if he wanted and he could play all the DND he wanted with his kids, if he could find the time.

The beard just disappeared after a couple of weeks and he played DND with his kids about twice a months. That really upset some people in the ward at the time. For me, he was one of the best bishops ever. Just a fun man to be around and his wife ruled the roost and him and she was even more fun than him.

He was bishop for two years and when somebody moved into the ward who could replace him, he was transferred back up to Huntsville a short time later. I heard he was called as SP up there, so he could only play that wicked and vile game only once a month with his kids, but play he did.

Perfect bishop, yep Cal, he was. When I said several years ago, I meant to say, that was around 1981, I was 28 and still going to college. Still miss him.

[Calm]

Perfect bishop, yep Cal, he was. When I said several years ago, I meant to say, that was around 1981, I was 28 and still going to college. Still miss him.

Then I can see why the DnD caused some raised eyebrows at the time....Sounds like a great guy...