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50 Shades Mormon


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So, I am not condemning anyone at all, just doing my usual gut grinding soul searching.

Some people I get around, and some posts I see, show me that some folk purposely skirt the edge of violation of covenants. Maybe Mormons should allow their children to have a "lost" year, or so, doing everything they can think of and when it is done, they can come back and seek to please heavenly father?

Oh, to be sure, there were lost times in my life. When young, we once drank screw drivers until we were out of orange juice and then just drank vodka. There were a few such episodes in my life before I was 25, and after a while I noticed that when I got smashed, bad things happened. I will not elaborate. After that, even when I found religion, I just seemed to skate along, getting broken hearted in church, and on Saturday, wearing just enough to keep from getting arrested.

Somehow, I never had a DUI, got arrested, never did prostitution, and once I was married, never cheated. Still, in 40 years of marriage, we both seemed to skate the ragged edge; doing just enough good to avoid Hell.

At the end of the time I was Muslim, I was solidly aware of my sinfulness, felt totally bereft and nonredeemable. So encountering the sisters was sureal, strange, powerful, life changing and I decided that I would no longer skirt the edge, I would do my absolute best to please Heavenly Father as fully as I could. Gratefulness infuses my body, and I bubble so much that some of my friends are perhaps sick of it, even my Muslim friends.

Still trying to figure things out.

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I think you need to give the Atonement (and mercy in general) more credit. A lot of us get better than we deserve a lot of the time, and no matter how bad we might think things are, rarely can they not be worse. :)

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So the question for discussion is...

Should we give our kids a year out of church to explore the "world" and then come back after having got it all out of their system?

I doubt there will be much support for that proposal on this board. Not "even" from me.

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All of us have pasts, we hope no one will know about. I had a time of rebelliousness before I was married. Luckily I met a returned missionary that I actually liked. I remember a gal who I thought could do no wrong in another ward long ago. One day in RS she was giving a lesson or sub'ng for another teacher, when she confessed that when she was in her late teens or right out of high school, she and some friends went on a crime spree. They would go into homes and steal their stuff. Somehow this group of kids went back and made amends somehow, but I see that people in the church aren't as perfect as we make out, they have pasts they aren't proud of. I cringe if anyone knows me from high school, hoping they don't remember me.

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First, let me say this: many, if not the majority of, people use alcohol without getting involved in prostitution.

Second, a Mormon rumspringa would show young people that a life without arbitrary religious rules may actually be liberating and may not work out in favor of the church.

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First, let me say this: many, if not the majority of, people use alcohol without getting involved in prostitution.

Second, a Mormon rumspringa would show young people that a life without arbitrary religious rules may actually be liberating and may not work out in favor of the church.

Sorry, I spoke out of frustration. For me, being Mormon is pretty easy because of my unabashed gratefulness. If you want hard, try not eating for a Month, praying on your hands and knees 5 times a day, getting lied to by the meat clerk that tells you his meat is Halal (Gee, some of it spent 60,000 miles on a truck tire.), being accosted by the Haram police, letting one hair peek out from under your Hijab, being told a man can beat you (I have .45 reasons he can't. :) ), and then getting yelled at by drunken old men who say you are terrorist. :)

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Sorry, I spoke out of frustration. For me, being Mormon is pretty easy because of my unabashed gratefulness. If you want hard, try not eating for a Month, praying on your hands and knees 5 times a day, getting lied to by the meat clerk that tells you his meat is Halal (Gee, some of it spent 60,000 miles on a truck tire.), being accosted by the Haram police, letting one hair peek out from under your Hijab, being told a man can beat you (I have .45 reasons he can't. :) ), and then getting yelled at by drunken old men who say you are terrorist. :)

It may have been tough being Muslim, for you. But I'm sure that is not what Islam teaches.

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It may have been tough being Muslim, for you. But I'm sure that is not what Islam teaches.

Oh, it pretty much does. And get this; I have been spoken to about giving a class on Islam. LOL. I do not, however think it will be permitted. They'll want someone with PHd that knows nothing, instead of lippy woman who lived it.

During the month of Ramadan, You eat or drink nothing between sunrise and sunset. Imagine what that would be like in Fairbanks in June! Muslims are supposed to pray (around 10 minutes) 5 times a day at prescribed times. Only meat that has been mercifully killed and prayed over can be eaten. It is not like running down to a good meat market. Some of this "Halal" meat smells bad when you get it and requires use of wood chipper to eat. I have actually had stray hair pulled out ! Surah 4:34 says husband can beat wife. This varies widely in interpretation. In Pakistan, you can get beat. In USA, not so much. Of course there is the statistical abuse that occurs with women Muslim or not.

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So, I am not condemning anyone at all, just doing my usual gut grinding soul searching.

Some people I get around, and some posts I see, show me that some folk purposely skirt the edge of violation of covenants. Maybe Mormons should allow their children to have a "lost" year, or so, doing everything they can think of and when it is done, they can come back and seek to please heavenly father?

Our children who lack years, wisdom and lack judgement (because of their age) to put things into perspective (as do we all to many times) do not need time off, but time on. It would be irresponsible for us to take a "lost year", and find our way home again. The Amish do this and it too often ends with tragic results. Our children are entrusted too us, they need (and crave) discipline and boundaries, if we violate this most sacred trust, we have failed in what matters most in the world and the world to come.
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So the question for discussion is...

Should we give our kids a year out of church to explore the "world" and then come back after having got it all out of their system?

I doubt there will be much support for that proposal on this board. Not "even" from me.

We don't "give" our children anything of the kind, they take it and run away with it when they are inclined, and nothing we say or do can stop it. Like the prodigal son, they go. We watch for their return. That's all any parent can really do, watch and hope and keep loving....
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Our children who lack years, wisdom and lack judgement (because of their age) to put things into perspective (as do we all to many times) do not need time off, but time on. It would be irresponsible for us to take a "lost year", and find our way home again. The Amish do this and it too often ends with tragic results. Our children are entrusted too us, they need (and crave) discipline and boundaries, if we violate this most sacred trust, we have failed in what matters most in the world and the world to come.

Not actually recommending a lost year, just frustrated.
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I cannot imagine a faithful parent (of any faith) supporting or suggesting a year to sow wild oats. Wickedness never is happiness. I've discovered that it is far easier to live the gospel fully than it is to live without it. Oh that those we love can see the commandments not as chains but as protection.

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So the question for discussion is...

Should we give our kids a year out of church to explore the "world" and then come back after having got it all out of their system?

I doubt there will be much support for that proposal on this board. Not "even" from me.

All kids always have the choice to take a year off from the church.

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I cannot imagine a faithful parent (of any faith) supporting or suggesting a year to sow wild oats. Wickedness never is happiness. I've discovered that it is far easier to live the gospel fully than it is to live without it. Oh that those we love can see the commandments not as chains but as protection.

Oh, but we see right here on this board questions that to me, indicate some want to know how much they can get away with.

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Read the title and came here hoping for a discussion of BDSM erotica based on Twilight fanfic and how it should interact with Mormonism.

I am now sad and disappointed. :sad:

The Books were overhyped to sell them. In actuality, I see them as an improbable psychological case study on how very damaged individuals can be healed through love, support, and persistence. Not that I expect them to be covered in Relief Society, but I have seen worse in College classes. Um, I read these before I met the Mormons. Yes, I know, that excuse won't be good much longer. :)

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We don't "give" our children anything of the kind, they take it and run away with it when they are inclined, and nothing we say or do can stop it. Like the prodigal son, they go. We watch for their return. That's all any parent can really do, watch and hope and keep loving....

I still have (only just) little innocent kids who sit on my knee for story time. I wish I could press pause.

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The idea of a 'year off' to do whatever one wants disregards in my view the reality that consequences will still follow the individual for acts done during that year even if one is granted some sort of dispensation from one's faith community.

One can't just wish away pregnancies, sexual diseases, addictions, etc. because a certain deadline has passed.

I am not sure that is the principle behind rumspringa, isn't that simply to experience the 'outer' world to see which lifestyle one wants to commit to, not necessarily to indulge in sin?

Edited by calmoriah
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I agree with Calmoriah. Actually, I think all of earth life is a form of Rumspringa for all of God's children. Where we learn from our own experience what is good and evil, healthy and unhealthy, what we prefer and do not prefer. When we yield to temptations or diverge from the path, as all of us do, God has provided us a Savior to enable us to choose to return to the right path, an Atonement that can heal all wounds. Our mortal Rumspringa is not limited to one year, and given that our existence does not end at death, our Rumspringa doesn't end at death either.

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Why do people need permission to do this kind of thing? If you want to do it and are prepared to live with the consequences do it!

We are such timid creatures.

Because if we get permission from someone else, we can blame them if it goes wrong.
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I think most of us are familiar with the reality TV show... Breaking Amish... I would tune in every now and then to see what the original four were up to in New York.

What I didn't understand, was how they thought "experiencing the English" meant going to the most sleazy bars, "adult" shops, starting to drink/getting drunk, etc etc. I think there was some legitimate sightseeing involved, but nowhere did it show them reaching for a higher behavior, i.e., concerts, the ballet, museums, art galleries, any type of spiritual activity... and I was surprised to hear the profanity they were not only aware of but used in their everyday language. To me they gravitated to the lowest of activities and behavior. As if they think that is what it is to be in the "world." IMO, totally phony...

Of course, perhaps being a "reality" show, it had to be provacative to garner ratings...

I agree with others, LDS have the agency to choose what path they will take at any given time in their life... and to what degree...and, whether or not to return to the Church, fully living the gospel... such was my life. I had married a wonderful but non-LDS man (eloped to Las Vegas) and, unlike the way the Amish have been portrayed on TV, though inactive lived a very good life, even spiritual, although I did not keep the WoW, or stricter modesty standards. I reactivated three years prior to my dear husband passing away.

GG

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Oh, it pretty much does. And get this; I have been spoken to about giving a class on Islam. LOL. I do not, however think it will be permitted. They'll want someone with PHd that knows nothing, instead of lippy woman who lived it.

During the month of Ramadan, You eat or drink nothing between sunrise and sunset. Imagine what that would be like in Fairbanks in June!

Mormons fast one day per month.

Muslims are supposed to pray (around 10 minutes) 5 times a day at prescribed times.

Mormons are supposed to pray always.

Only meat that has been mercifully killed and prayed over can be eaten.

Mormons can't drink coffee or tea. They can only eat meat during certain seasons.

I have actually had stray hair pulled out !

I've seen girls turned away at dances for wearing skirts that are an inch too short. I've seen women judge other women because "there is no way SHE is wearing garments with THAT dress!"...

Surah 4:34 says husband can beat wife. This varies widely in interpretation. In Pakistan, you can get beat. In USA, not so much. Of course there is the statistical abuse that occurs with women Muslim or not.

Many women feel subjugated in the LDS Church.

So, what was your initial argument - that Islam is worse than Mormonism?

H.

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Mormons fast one day per month.

Mormons are supposed to pray always.

Mormons can't drink coffee or tea. They can only eat meat during certain seasons.

I've seen girls turned away at dances for wearing skirts that are an inch too short. I've seen women judge other women because "there is no way SHE is wearing garments with THAT dress!"...

Many women feel subjugated in the LDS Church.

So, what was your initial argument - that Islam is worse than Mormonism?

H.

From my perspective, Islam was much more difficult. Mormons do not eat meat at times? Seriously? I know what D&C 89 says, but I have never had anyone say that I should not eat meat. I was vegetarian for a long time and started eating meat again with being LDS.
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