Members Calling Missionaries Family-Thoughts?

[Duncan]

One of the missionaries in my ward had their home town basically obliterated by recent flooding in Alberta. Well, they haven't heard from their extended family. The missionary's immediate family is fine and so if they don't hear back from them by tues. they want me to call their family and ask how everyone is. I don't mind so much but yet I feel kind of uncomfortable phoning another member (who is a complete stranger to me and they don't know me from Adam either) and asking if is everyone safe and sound in their family. I have heard of members calling missionaries' families before- What do you think about it?

[ERayR]

I think it would be a kindness to relieve their minds.

[Bikeemikey]

One of the missionaries in my ward had their home town basically obliterated by recent flooding in Alberta. Well, they haven't heard from their extended family. The missionary's immediate family is fine and so if they don't hear back from them by tues. they want me to call their family and ask how everyone is. I don't mind so much but yet I feel kind of uncomfortable phoning another member (who is a complete stranger to me and they don't know me from Adam either) and asking if is everyone safe and sound in their family. I have heard of members calling missionaries' families before- What do you think about it?

Unless the mission president is utterly obtuse this should already have been done by him or his wife.

[Calm]

One of the missionaries in my ward had their home town basically obliterated by recent flooding in Alberta. Well, they haven't heard from their extended family. The missionary's immediate family is fine and so if they don't hear back from them by tues. they want me to call their family and ask how everyone is. I don't mind so much but yet I feel kind of uncomfortable phoning another member (who is a complete stranger to me and they don't know me from Adam either) and asking if is everyone safe and sound in their family. I have heard of members calling missionaries' families before- What do you think about it?

When my daughter was diagnosed with diabetes, we communicated with our son updates through the bishop of the ward he was a missionary in after the initial contact (which we insisted on making direct to him so we could inform him he had to go get tested as well, but reassure him at the same time it was unlikely he had it). Eventually we met them, great family and it was very reassuring to us that there was someone there who could reassure him about the situation (he is close to his sister though they are eight years apart). The family just happened to have a daughter one year older than our daughter who just happened to one year before be diagnosed with diabetes. Being able to see the situation 'one year later' was helpful to him.

[canard78]

If I was in your position I'd feel perfectly fine calling another family on behalf of the missionary to express his concern and put his fears to bed.

Or tell him to call the mission office.

[Duncan]

it's a sister! her dad and I sounds like we have a lot in common! but I am kinda hoping she gets word from her folks!

[rpn]

Trust me, there is nothing the family will like better (though with the flood it may be a while before you can reach anyone), once they understand who you are. And whatever the MP does or doesn't do can possibly make up for what will be as personal conversation as you will be able to derive as a member who currently has eyes on the missionary. I've called parents or missionaries many times (I don't tell the missionary ,but do it each time I meet a new one, just to tell the mother that I have seen their child and know that they are fine.) And, lest you wonder how I manage it, in our house we have a guest book that everyone who visits is asked to sign, including their contact info --- missionaries always write their home address and phone.

[Storm Rider]

This would be one of those situations that I would never think twice about. While the missionary was in front of me I would call to confirm that all was well and then inform her of the same. The rule of not contacting your family is a guideline and last time I heard was not given by the hand of God writing it in stone for all to obey. Listen to the Spirit and follow; this is the greatest rule and should never be questioned.

[Tacenda]

This would be one of those situations that I would never think twice about. While the missionary was in front of me I would call to confirm that all was well and then inform her of the same. The rule of not contacting your family is a guideline and last time I heard was not given by the hand of God writing it in stone for all to obey. Listen to the Spirit and follow; this is the greatest rule and should never be questioned.

This answer, and every one of the others is good!! It would relieve the missionary and allow him to continue in the work. The spirit, and your heart are the guides!

[CV75]

One of the missionaries in my ward had their home town basically obliterated by recent flooding in Alberta. Well, they haven't heard from their extended family. The missionary's immediate family is fine and so if they don't hear back from them by tues. they want me to call their family and ask how everyone is. I don't mind so much but yet I feel kind of uncomfortable phoning another member (who is a complete stranger to me and they don't know me from Adam either) and asking if is everyone safe and sound in their family. I have heard of members calling missionaries' families before- What do you think about it?

Since the whole idea is that missionaries are to focus on their work, having someone else call for them both keeps them from getting into the habit and becoming a distraction, and helps them not to worry in the absence of news of an urgent nature.

[Duncan]

Thank you all! Thing is too if anyone was actually deceased someone would have notified the mission office

[cinepro]

As far as I know, the only restriction the Church has ever given for members and phone calls is that we shouldn't call friends or relatives that are serving full time missions. You're allowed to call anyone else that you like, including Canadians.

You're also allowed to play full-court basketball and go swimming.

[cinepro]

Additional note: whenever we have the Elders over for dinner, we'll take a picture of them (usually something humorous if we can manage it) and text it to their families. The families always respond with a hearty thanks!

[Buzzard]

When we lived in SoCal, a missionary lived in our ward from Duschene, a small town in eastern Utah. When he heard my son and I were going on a backpacking trip near there and would be driving right by his parents house, he asked us to stop by and say hi to his family. Since we drove by at 6 AM on the way in, I decided to visit on the way out. The sudden appearance of two strangers with eight days of beard growth, trail dirt, and smelling of campfires and sweat had a disconcerting effect on his poor mother, though once I explained my errand, her countenance changed and we had a nice chat before I continued to town and a shower.

[Duncan]

When we lived in SoCal, a missionary lived in our ward from Duschene, a small town in eastern Utah. When he heard my son and I were going on a backpacking trip near there and would be driving right by his parents house, he asked us to stop by and say hi to his family. Since we drove by at 6 AM on the way in, I decided to visit on the way out. The sudden appearance of two strangers with eight days of beard growth, trail dirt, and smelling of campfires and sweat had a disconcerting effect on his poor mother, though once I explained my errand, her countenance changed and we had a nice chat before I continued to town and a shower.

funny! I know someone from Duchesne, "Utawwww" too!

[canard78]

Additional note: whenever we have the Elders over for dinner, we'll take a picture of them (usually something humorous if we can manage it) and text it to their families. The families always respond with a hearty thanks!

My mum used to love being emailed photos of my younger brother at dinner appointments (especially when accompanied by a note of how wonderful he was).

I was an analogue missionary so she had to wait for the quarterly envelope stuffed with photos (carefully selected of course).

[Garden Girl]

Trust me, there is nothing the family will like better (though with the flood it may be a while before you can reach anyone), once they understand who you are. And whatever the MP does or doesn't do can possibly make up for what will be as personal conversation as you will be able to derive as a member who currently has eyes on the missionary. I've called parents or missionaries many times (I don't tell the missionary ,but do it each time I meet a new one, just to tell the mother that I have seen their child and know that they are fine.) And, lest you wonder how I manage it, in our house we have a guest book that everyone who visits is asked to sign, including their contact info --- missionaries always write their home address and phone.

What we used to do whenever we'd get a new missionary...

My husband was a wonderful photographer/cameraman and he made a generic video of Lincoln City, the missionaries' apartment, the beach, and various annual activities like the sandcastle building contest, kite flying festival, etc. He would put this on the front of a video and then he would set up the camera downstairs in my studio and tell the missionary (we had sisters) to just talk to their folks and tell them how they were doing... they would always say they didn't know what all to tell, and then an hour later I'd go down and get them to come up to dinner and they'd still be talking. There was many a closing heartfelt testimony and expressions of love... then we'd mail the video to the parents. We heard from many grateful parents, particularly the mothers, who thanked us for letting them see their daughters and just where they were. I had one mother tell me that whenever she'd get too lonely for her daughter she'd get out the video and watch it.

GG

[strappinglad]

I have seen the pics of the flooding in Alberta and it is truly devastating . Most of the town of High River is/was under water and many of the home will need to be demolished. Very sad, but there were a lot of people helping each other through this trial, and that is good to see and affirms faith in humanity. As for your question about calling a missionaries family, by now I suspect its all water under the bridge.

[futuremissionary]

I do believe that it's a good rule, but this is not the reason they have it. I'm really glad to hear that you ended up calling. No parent should have to sit and feel worried about the safety of their child. I don't even think I'd fault the missionary calling home, not to chat, but to just say - Hey guys, I'm safe.

[Tacenda]

What we used to do whenever we'd get a new missionary...

My husband was a wonderful photographer/cameraman and he made a generic video of Lincoln City, the missionaries' apartment, the beach, and various annual activities like the sandcastle building contest, kite flying festival, etc. He would put this on the front of a video and then he would set up the camera downstairs in my studio and tell the missionary (we had sisters) to just talk to their folks and tell them how they were doing... they would always say they didn't know what all to tell, and then an hour later I'd go down and get them to come up to dinner and they'd still be talking. There was many a closing heartfelt testimony and expressions of love... then we'd mail the video to the parents. We heard from many grateful parents, particularly the mothers, who thanked us for letting them see their daughters and just where they were. I had one mother tell me that whenever she'd get too lonely for her daughter she'd get out the video and watch it.

GG

What a nice, or beyond nice thing to do! Says a lot about the two of you.

[Duncan]

further on that,,the missionary hasn't heard as far as I know anyways how their family is doing on High River, but if she doesn't hear back by tues. then i'll phone the family

[Calm]

I do believe that it's a good rule, but this is not the reason they have it. I'm really glad to hear that you ended up calling. No parent should have to sit and feel worried about the safety of their child. I don't even think I'd fault the missionary calling home, not to chat, but to just say - Hey guys, I'm safe.

In this case it was the reverse, the child worrying about not the parent, but uncles and aunts, etc. apparently. Still concerning and probably a good idea to relieve the missionary's concerns so s/he could focus on the work.

[Calm]

further on that,,the missionary hasn't heard as far as I know anyways how their family is doing on High River, but if she doesn't hear back by tues. then i'll phone the family

So she is worrying about her parents as well now? Too bad. Definitely call.

[Duncan]

So she is worrying about her parents as well now? Too bad. Definitely call.

well, not her immediate family but her extended family

Edited July 1, 2013 by Duncan