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I Like This Girl, But Everytime We Talk The Missionaries Stalk Me


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Ok so I have a strange feeling, and at first I thought it perhaps was a coincidence or maybe all in my head. Here's the scoop.

I baptised last spring. When I was taking lessons the missionaries asked me if someone can sit in with them while they give me lessons. It was a very attractive women. She offered to show me around to institute class and what not. She came to my baptism and gave me her number. She said we should get a celebration cone, or celebrate sometime. It never happened but I offered to have her tag along at my baptism celebration. I texted her from time to time just to say hi, she told me she was going on vacation. Whenever I talk to her, or whenever she texts me, the missionaries always call, or come over. Even a year after baptism. I am through with lessons. I infact feel I don't learn because these are 19 year old kids. I feel weird taking discussions from 19 year olds because I feel that going on a mission is more of thier cultures expectations, rather than at thier own will. I feel like I am listenting to a virgin when it comes to life. (no offense, but I'm being honest) Half of missionaries now only go because it's just the family tradition but not that they really know the feeling of pain and suffering, and begging to see an answer, it just seems like these are mommies boys, who had life handed to them and they don't realize that it's a huge world out there besides the mormon comfort zone they were raised in. However, I do like these guys, I do enjoy listenting to them talk about thier home towns and what not.

well, back on subject, I feel like evereytime I ran into this gal at school, or text her, or to get ready to build up to the point to ask her to go hang out, the missionaries hit me up My question is, that's kind of strange and noticed a pattern. Does the church hire her to spy on me, or to contact them anytime I call her. Has anyone ever seen the movie dumb and dumber 2? They get invited to this chicks house because they think it's a date, but instead she thinks they are retarted and is doing it for the cause of helping someone "in a deameanor manner" I feel like that, like maybe I'm the dumb one who thought she was into me, but her situation of me is just beause she thinks I am slow, or needs help in the mormons eye so she contacts them or something. That is why I don't liike missionaries. It's likie they serve, because they want to change in thier eye, not that the person asks for help.

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Hello approdis...

Welcome to the board... I'm glad you found it.

As to your question of being stalked by the missionaries... I do know that they try to keep occasional contact with a new member so maybe the timing is coincidence... Are there people in your ward or branch that you feel comfortable seeking out as friends? I'm assuming you are somewhat older than the missionaries from the way you described them... hopefully you can establish some friendships where you can have gospel discussions from those more your age and experience to help you learn, and to socialize.

Here on the board you've probably figured out that we have all types, including LDS of varying levels of faith and knowledge... then there are the critics, some of which are former members, and of course some non-members of various faiths who just enjoy the interaction and add much to the discussions. You'll soon figure out who is who.

Next time the missionaries show up, just ask them if someone sent them over...

from the beautiful central Oregon coast... GG

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Hey you are from the Oregon Coast!

I know the Rockaway Beach area real well! grew up there...

Thanks for the reply.

Do you think god could have sent them to talk to me. I wonder if she picked up the phone and say, I talked to chris!

She seems always friendly but not sure if I am doing something wrong in her eyes to where she claims I need help

or a discussion (in her opinion)

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awww that sucks... Maybe thats it.. Guess I shouldn't ask her out.. then :)

My advice is wait awhile and get to know her well through activities at church so you are associated more in her mind with church activities than missionary activities, then you should be viewed just like another member and not someone in need of missionary assistance.

My experience with missionaries is that they often stop by members' homes if they are in the area just for a breather or to have somewhere to go if an appointment has been missed by someone or just to see a friendly face and when they do so, they may offer to help out with something or just ask how things are going in general so I wouldn't assume that because they are showing up frequently they are concerned about your situation...unless they make it obvious that is why they are there.

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awww that sucks... Maybe thats it.. Guess I shouldn't ask her out.. then :)

Why don't you ask her out and ask her directly if your observations are correct? It doesn't have to be awkward, although it could certainly be . . . :)

Seriously, though, if you like her, you should ask her out on a one-on-one date for its own sake. If she won't, or it just never seems to materialize, then it's clear that she isn't as interested in dating you as you are of dating her.

In any case, if I were you, I would mention to her that it seems like every time you contact her, the missionaries redouble their "constant contact" efforts with you. See what she thinks about this observation. :) If it seems like you "have a shot," make it clear to her that you want to get to know her in its own right, and not because of member missionary work considerations.

From what you describe, and not knowing anything else, I think it's likely that she has been contacting the missionaries when you contact her. Whether that's because her ward calling is ward missionary, or because she simply (on her own) thinks they should visit you, who knows? You could ask her, if you're comfortable (this will depend a lot on how things go).

Good luck! I don't miss the "dating days," and especially "playing the game." That is rough, whether it's LDS/new LDS culture navigation, or anything else.

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My advice is to say to her, "each time I text you, the missionaries show up. Is that a coincidence or are you sending them?. Would you be free on Thursday at 8PM for ice cream at ________?" You will soon find out whether she is interested in a more personal relationship, or just trying to be nice but not really wanted to get to know you more.

If you no longer get anything from seeing the missionaries, then tell them that. If you think they don't understand your problems, you may be right. But you may also be making excuses for yourself, or even isolating yourself, and you might want to consider that before telling them they are annoying. They might have ideas you haven't thought of, or maybe they see you are more able to do things successfully than you do of yourself.

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I have only perused responses rather than reading them exhaustively, so if this has already been covered, please pardon the duplication. From your responses, perhaps there is some confusion about what the role and nature of a ward missionary is, as opposed to their full-time counterparts. While full-time missionaries cannot date because their whole hearts and souls need to be devoted to their calling for the entire two years (or eighteen months, if they are sisters), ward missionaries are just like other members of your ward: just as other members of the ward have callings (positions) in certain areas to help the ward function, ward missionaries have been called specifically to help full-time missionaries. Like other members of the ward, while they volunteer in their callings, if they are employed, they work at their jobs for pay during the week in order to make ends meet, pay bills, and so on. And if they are single, unlike the full-time missionaries, they are allowed to see people socially.

While I do not doubt that you, along with other people of similar age and background, have had a great deal of life experience, I would not be so quick to dismiss the life experience of even young missionaries: while a good number of missionaries come from Utah and from the Intermountain West area of the United States, and while there's a good chance that many of them have had similar experiences and come from similar backgrounds, as I'm sure you know, missionaries are called from all over the world, from varying backgrounds and life experiences. At least some of those backgrounds and experiences are likely to be at least somewhat similar to your own, even given the difference in your ages. And which is more, while our senior missionary force may be outnumbered by their younger counterparts, and while comparatively few senior missionaries do the type of work that their younger counterparts do, a good number of our missionaries bring a lifetime's worth of work experiences, family experiences, and life experiences with them. (Senior missionaries are usually called at retirement age.) Perhaps, if you feel you have little in common with traditional proselyting (younger) missionaries, you could ask if there are any senior missionaries in your area with whom you could meet.

And as for being "done" with the lessons, while I can appreciate that you don't feel the need to have the missionary discussions again, since you already had them before you were baptized, no one is ever through with lessons, or with learning, in the Church of Jesus Christ. The only time one is finished learning in mortality is when one dies ... and then, he or she goes to a whole different classroom and begins to learn a whole new (or seemingly-new) set of lessons. I was born into the Church of Jesus Christ, served a full-time, proselyting mission which began nearly 25 years ago, and have had numerous callings in the Church. I also have a copy of Preach My Gospel, the resource which full-time missionaries currently use for study and teaching, and even though I know the concepts in it rather well, I still find unexpected insights in it, as well as in the other things I study, especially the scriptures. I often learn new things even when going over material I have studied many times before.

A little humility (even, and perhaps especially) when one feels one doesn't need it, will go a long way. ;) I wish you well. :)

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