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Is It Judgmental?


tuamthawj

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I have been in a relationship for a little while with this woman and we have had a very interesting road. It started when we began talking all the time and became really close. After about a month of talking and not committing to each other, but just being friends. Then one of her ex boyfriends came and she didn't want to talk to me anymore. After a couple weeks she had prayed about it and she wanted to be with me. I was hoping for that and we ended up talking again and we decided to get together and become a couple. We had been together for a while and I wanted to know if she did anything during the two weeks she "got back" with her ex. She said she did "stuff" (not sex but stuff) she said nothing else. I don't want to know what she did but it has really bothered me and I don't know if I want to stay with her. She says that she has repented of it and is forgiven, but it still bothers me and I cannot get over it. The reason is because I have kept myself clean and been saving it for my honeymoon and chastity is a very sensitive subject. She has messed up in her past with this same guy for a while and I have been able to get over that, because I was never in the picture, but this thing has really bothered me because I was in the picture during this and I really felt something before her ex boyfriend came and took her for those two week so I feel cheated on and I don't know if I can get over it since chastity is such a sensitive subject to me. I am wondering if I am being judgmental? Also maybe some advice on what I should do would help out.

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Here is my 2 cents as a non-Mormon: Realize that your potential wife here likely has had sexual experiences that you have never had. She obviously has, or had, feelings for her prior boyfriend which she had not resolved.

I would take this relationship slowly and focus on your feelings for each other. I would not dwell upon the ex. I would be careful about talking about feeling "cheated" upon because the extent of what went on is unknown. What is known, is that there are, or were , unresolved feelings. This is normal, and is not something that you can do anything about. That's up to your girlfriend.

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