Jump to content

Disdain For Priesthood Leaders?


Saints Alive

Recommended Posts

Have you ever felt disdain, hatred, or had ill will toward one of your priesthood leaders(EQ President, Bishop, Stake President, High Counsel member, etc) ?

If so what was the source of these feelings and how did you or are you dealing with it?

Is it ok to have feelings like this or is it something that you should repent of and actively seek to fix?

Does it make a difference if you were wronged by the PH leader?

Link to comment

Have you ever felt disdain, hatred, or had ill will toward one of your priesthood leaders(EQ President, Bishop, Stake President, High Counsel member, etc) ?

If so what was the source of these feelings and how did you or are you dealing with it?

Is it ok to have feelings like this or is it something that you should repent of and actively seek to fix?

Does it make a difference if you were wronged by the PH leader?

I can't remember anything specific, but usually such feelings arose from personality conflict more than anything they could have possible "done to" me. Hardly ever now, after well over 35 years in the Church and more life experience.

I would deal with such feelings by walking a mile in their shoes, remembering tht the Lord suffered for them as well as me, and praying for charity and forgiveness. Also not compromising my own religious practices, and assignemnts, callings, etc.

I've realized over the years that often people simply react differently to the same set of stimuli or situations, and this can create an artificial sense of conflict and related feelings of contention. Understanding this has helped me see others with more compassion. I do think the feelings and expressions of contention must be actively repented of.

If you were wronged by a priesthood leader, by all means prayerfully bring it to his attention or to the attention of his leader.

Link to comment

Have you ever felt disdain, hatred, or had ill will toward one of your priesthood leaders(EQ President, Bishop, Stake President, High Counsel member, etc) ?

If so what was the source of these feelings and how did you or are you dealing with it?

Is it ok to have feelings like this or is it something that you should repent of and actively seek to fix?

Does it make a difference if you were wronged by the PH leader?

Yes...I have a good friend who when he became an authority figure...lost all sight with with D&C 121...amen to the Priesthood of that individual...
Link to comment

I see why you no longer have problems with them. ;)

Have you seen my therapy bills?! no, but all but one moved away so i don't have any contact with the ones in mind. I learned the very hard way to hear what they say but make my own decisions and not feel any guilt for following any and evry piece of advice thinking it comes from God. Basically, get my own inspiration from God. there are other things too

Link to comment

I have only been really angry in one case and that was with a older priesthood leader who refused to step in when a younger and less experienced scout leader took young scouts out on a dangerous overnight trip completely on his own, against the rules. I can understand the arrogance of youth, blowing off another leader's (which I was one at the time) as well as mother's concern is totally inappropriate in someone of experience and authority.

Link to comment

when my bishop recived a phone call from someone claiming to be a bishop of another ward in a diffrent stake to ask personal question about me and things i have confessed to, with out first finding out who they really were. and i brought it up to the stake prez but he did nothing since my bishop was a member of his family and it would hurt there family name.

and then when i confronted them on it they never said they were sorry.

Link to comment

Have you ever felt disdain, hatred, or had ill will toward one of your priesthood leaders(EQ President, Bishop, Stake President, High Counsel member, etc) ?

If so what was the source of these feelings and how did you or are you dealing with it?

Is it ok to have feelings like this or is it something that you should repent of and actively seek to fix?

Does it make a difference if you were wronged by the PH leader?

Hello Saints Alive...

Is it ok to have such feelings? Well, it's not good for you or for them. First, for your own benefit you should try and forgive since scripture tells us that the Savior expects us to forgive everyone, but for the Savior he will forgive whom he chooses but of us it is required that we forgive everyone.

Also, sometimes we are not even aware that we have offended someone if they don't come to us (or we go to them) and tell us... One time I was staring off into space, deep in thought, when apparently a sister walked by and smiled and spoke to me and I just kept staring, unaware of her. A few days later I got a card in the mail asking my forgiveness if she had offended me in some way because when she spoke to me I just "looked right through her." I was surprised because I wasn't even aware of her... so the next Sunday I went up to her and hugged her and thanked her for telling me, otherwise I would never have known, and explained what must have happened because I'd never intentionally not speak. She was so relieved, as was I.

GG

Link to comment

I had a teacher who once said "If we allow a hypocrite to come between us and God, that only means we're not as close to God as we think we are." I've had bishops who have done some pretty dumb things and who have overreacted to things I or other people have said and done. It didn't make the gospel any less true, nor did it make the Church any less the Lord's. Their words and actions only made them more human, almost as human as I am. I have said some pretty stupid things and overreacted in the past and I'll find new and inventive ways to do so occasionally in the future. Does that make me a bad person? I hope not.

I had a bishop that gave me some really sound advice, but it turned out the "sound advice" really hurt me in the long run. I had a bishop who gave me some unsound advice and it turned out that "unsound advice" was rock solid in helping me get through my problems.

When I was going to BYU, I thought it was a great place to be. I met great people and had a bunch of awesome experiences. I also met some terdheads and had some terrible experiences. I have chosen to focus on the great people and awesome experiences. After I left BYU and went to the University of Central Florida, and suffering a culture shock, I met more people who were great and had a bunch of experiences that were also awesome, but I also met more terdheads and had more experiences that were terrible. I still choose to focus on the positive side.

People are going to do things to make our lives harder, but I believe that most of the time, they don't do it out of spite and meanness. They do it because they think it's the right thing to do.

God doesn't judge us on other people's actions, He judges us on our actions and on how we react.

Paul Dunn gave a talk in General Conference some time ago and he taught a great principle. He said that we need learn to "act upon" things as opposed to "reacting to " things.

Link to comment

I think there is little value in maintaining a list of stupid things leaders have done. The list would be never ending and all it would prove is that leaders are human. Every time I begin to criticize the actions of others, which is often, I very often end up looking at myself in the mirror and remembering my rather extensive list of bone headed things I have done. I have judged too quickly, spoke too quickly, laughed when I should have cried, and cried when I should have laughed. I have taken things personally that were not intended as such; in fact, if I could provide one lesson in life I would ask that each of us learn to never take the actions or words of others to be personal. How quickly would the offense float away from us because we would say, "Isn't that a odd thing to say; I know it was not personal." We would quickly forgive others because we would understand that their feelings of dismay, frustration, anger, etc., are not personal.

Life would be a much better place if we could understand that seldom are the words and actions of others to be taken personally.

As an aside; if we are going to make a list of things that offended us, let us start by listing how we offended others and then received forgiveness.

Link to comment

So do you agree with the actions of this guys SP?

No. Unless prompted by the Spirit to do something else I would have given him a brief lesson on agency and how God does not need our help to maintain it. If we still blustering after that I have no idea what I would do. I would probably also quietly speak with the Member of the High Council about making up new directives (unless it came from me or the Bishop).

I never want a position like this. If people cannot control their own ego they should not let it get so inflated.

Link to comment

I don't agree with the SP's approach to the situation, but what does "the right thing to do" have to do with "agency?" Aren't they two independent things?

Yes. In the story It was suggested that LDS should ask a local business to not show R-rated movies. This man said removing them would be a violation of agency. He clearly has no idea what agency means.

Link to comment

Saints Alive:

No one is responsible for a fleeting feeling of peak. That's just a part of being human. Jesus the Christ himself said not his own will but the will of his father was to be done. However if we dwell on it, or heaven forbid do something negative because of that feeling. Then the greater sin is in us and we need to repent.

Link to comment

Elder Oaks, 1987, Ensign

There are at least five different procedures a Church member can follow in addressing differences with Church leaders—general or local, male or female.

The first—and most benign—of the procedures is to overlook the difference. President Brigham Young described his own application of this method in a circumstance in which he felt “a want of confidence” in the Prophet Joseph Smith’s financial management. After entertaining such thoughts for a short time, President Young saw that they could cause him to lose confidence in the Prophet and ultimately to question God as well. President Young concluded:

“Though I admitted in my feelings and knew all the time that Joseph was a human being and subject to err, still it was none of my business to look after his faults. … He was called of God; God dictated him, and if He had a mind to leave him to himself and let him commit an error, that was no business of mine. … He was God’s servant, and not mine.” (Journal of Discourses, 4:297.)

Elder Lorenzo Snow also observed some “imperfections” in Joseph Smith, but he also reached a positive conclusion about the Prophet:

“I thanked God that He would put upon a man who had those imperfections the power and authority He placed upon him … for I knew that I myself had weakness, and I thought there was a chance for me.” (Quoted by Elder Neal A. Maxwell in Ensign, Nov. 1984, p. 10.)

A second option is to reserve judgment and postpone any action on the difference. In many instances, the actions we are tempted to criticize may be based on confidences that preclude the leader from explaining his or her actions publicly. In such instances there is wisdom in a strategy of patience and trust.

The third procedure, which should be familiar to every student of the Bible, is to take up our differences privately with the leader involved. The Savior taught: “If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” (Matt. 18:15.)

This course of action may be pursued in a private meeting, if possible, or it may be done through a letter or other indirect communication. How many differences could be resolved if we would only communicate privately about them! Some would disappear as they were identified as mere misunderstandings. Others would be postponed with an agreement to disagree for the present. But in many instances, private communications about differences would remove obstacles to individual growth and correction.

A fourth option is to communicate with the Church officer who has the power to correct or release the person thought to be in error or transgression. The Bible calls this “tell[ing] it unto the church.” (Matt. 18:17.) Modern scripture, in the revelation we call “the law of the Church,” describes this procedure:

“And if he or she confess not thou shalt deliver him or her up unto the church, not to the members, but to the elders. And it shall be done in a meeting, and that not before the world.” (D&C 42:89.)

Note the caution that this remedy is to be private—“not before the world.” This is not done in order to hide the facts, but rather to increase the chance that the correction will improve the life of a brother or sister.

Link to comment

Full disclosure: I have had differences with Priesthood leaders in the past, but not recently. I was really curious what experiences others had and how they dealt with it.

The only thing that really ever bothered be was a High Counselor that would inappropriately talk about the details of past disciplinary counsels he had been on. He "tried" to be vague but always managed to give just enough details that it wasn't hard to guess who he was talking about if you were familiar with the member. I even brought it to the attention of the Stake President but he sorta brushed it off. Don't know what he told the HC in private but it didn't stop him from talking.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I called a bishop to repentance once. Even after years of retrospection, I still think he needed to.

Mostly I think Church leaders are well-meaning, and try their best to do what they believe is right. Most of them succeed most of the time.

Some are not as competent as we'd like them to be, and others are just plain stupid, at least in certain areas. Every once in a while you'll run across a leader who is sinning and seriously needs to change his ways, but they are probably the exception.

Hatred? Probably too strong a word. Disdain? Not very often, but occasionally. Personality conflict? Sometimes, but usually I can get along with most people.

Link to comment

If they offend me, I tell them. It's one thing to have a different opinion, but one leader was just rude to me years ago. I was pregnant, had a toddler, and we had both been sick for weeks. We had terrible colds, followed by a stomach virus, followed by another cold. I had bronchitis, a sinus infection, and both of my ears were infected and it was hard to get better because our neighbors were smoking constantly inside the building. You could actually see the smoke in our apartment. So this counselor called me into a room to give me a calling and asked me in what sounded like a sincere way, "How are you doing?"

I thought how wonderful it was that someone cared. I told him what was going on and how frustrated I was and he literally whined like a puppy dog as I was talking. I couldn't believe it. Then he asked me to be the primary pianist. I accepted the calling and told him, "Next time just extend the calling to me. If you don't really care how I'm doing, then don't ask." Then I left. I was tempted to tell him to find another pianist, but I knew the calling was from the Lord. His crappy behavior was not though. I'm under no obligation to keep my opinion to myself just because someone is a priesthood holder.

Link to comment

If they offend me, I tell them. It's one thing to have a different opinion, but one leader was just rude to me years ago. I was pregnant, had a toddler, and we had both been sick for weeks. We had terrible colds, followed by a stomach virus, followed by another cold. I had bronchitis, a sinus infection, and both of my ears were infected and it was hard to get better because our neighbors were smoking constantly inside the building. You could actually see the smoke in our apartment. So this counselor called me into a room to give me a calling and asked me in what sounded like a sincere way, "How are you doing?"

I thought how wonderful it was that someone cared. I told him what was going on and how frustrated I was and he literally whined like a puppy dog as I was talking. I couldn't believe it. Then he asked me to be the primary pianist. I accepted the calling and told him, "Next time just extend the calling to me. If you don't really care how I'm doing, then don't ask." Then I left. I was tempted to tell him to find another pianist, but I knew the calling was from the Lord. His crappy behavior was not though. I'm under no obligation to keep my opinion to myself just because someone is a priesthood holder.

That was so demeaning. I don't know, but that act of his would have really been difficult for me to forgive. It's not often you run into people like that is it?
Link to comment
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...