AliDunham Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Hello all,New here and looking for some advice. I am LDS and was sealed in the temple. My husband is filing for divorce but the reason we're no longer together is because of infidelity on his end. I have a four-year-old son with autism and he has some very special needs. I'm quite concerned about the custody arrangement that will be made. Has anyone had a similar experience and have an ironclad custody agreement they would be willing to share?Thanks to all for any tips or advice! Link to comment
Deborah Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Talk to your bishop. He may be able to refer you to church social services. Sounds like you may need an attorney as well to advise you on the legalities. Link to comment
AliDunham Posted July 18, 2012 Author Share Posted July 18, 2012 Thanks for the advice! I've made an appointment to see my bishop as well as an attorney. I was just hoping that someone might have an example for me to look over of the actual custody agreement specifically for a child with special needs. I don't think they're very common yet. Thanks again! Link to comment
Buzzard Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Just wanted to wish you good luck. We had a son who was profoundly autistic, with major behavior issues. We have often commented to each other that the two of us could barely do the job, and that we were divorce-proof because no one person could raise him. That being said, we often noticed how few married couples were raising special needs kids together. Very few marriages seem to survive the stress, but in our case, it welded us together. Long story, I suppose.Since our boy passed several years ago, while I am very much married to the same person, it's a whole different marriage, since our life is no longer centered around managing the chaos on two legs that was our son. Link to comment
AliDunham Posted July 18, 2012 Author Share Posted July 18, 2012 Wow, Buzzard. Thank you. I'm so sorry to hear about your son. I'm not sure I'm capable of raising my son on my own, but I'm sure going to try! Link to comment
rpn Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 (edited) I'm sure your attorney will know to get autism experts to testify. If they don't, you can private message me and tell me where you are and I might have some sources to suggest to you. I think that a child who has autism can be parented by loving parents who live separately when the transition is carefully planned (and maybe supported by board certified behavior analysts). It is my experience that parents rarely fight over who gets to spend the most time with a child on the spectrum, and that one parent doesn't want a whole lot of time. That isn't how it should be, but one has to be pretty unselfish to raise a child with a disability. Edited July 19, 2012 by rpn Link to comment
rongo Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 What state do you live in, Ali? Link to comment
ERayR Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 Thanks for the advice! I've made an appointment to see my bishop as well as an attorney. I was just hoping that someone might have an example for me to look over of the actual custody agreement specifically for a child with special needs. I don't think they're very common yet. Thanks again!Just a word of advice: Do your homework when it comes to attorneys. All attorneys are not created equal and a really god one doesn't cost much more than a really poor one. Link to comment
AliDunham Posted July 19, 2012 Author Share Posted July 19, 2012 Thank you! I've been asking around and have made an appointment with the person that everyone says is the BEST divorce attorney in town. Apparently, she has never lost a case. Fingers crossed! Link to comment
AliDunham Posted July 19, 2012 Author Share Posted July 19, 2012 @rpn, Thank you! My appointment is in a couple of weeks. If we hit a dead end, I will definitely message you. Thanks again! Link to comment
rongo Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 I'm in TexasOh. If you had been in Arizona, I could refer you to a really good family law office (LDS attorneys, all). We've had some really complicated, mind-boggling family law issues in our ward, and have been really happy with the work they have done as we've referred people to them. They are high-end on price, but like ERayR said, ain't they all? My first counselor is an attorney and a BYU law grad, so he has some networks when it comes to law. Link to comment
ERayR Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 Thank you! I've been asking around and have made an appointment with the person that everyone says is the BEST divorce attorney in town. Apparently, she has never lost a case. Fingers crossed!A few years back my daughter was in a child custody case, The father hired one of those who had never lost a case. We helped her hire one who knew the lay very well and wasn't afraid of her. He explained the law and said he would not over reach the law but would insist on everything it allowed. Daughter didn't get everything she wanted but the other party got almost none of what he was asking. Link to comment
Wants2know Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 I've seen plenty. None I can share. The best custody arrangements are the ones that keep the child's needs foremost in mind. Sometimes it helps to have a guardian ad litem involved to help both parties understand the needs of the child come first, not the needs of the parents. Agreements that promote flexibility appear to work best, IMO. Link to comment
AliDunham Posted July 23, 2012 Author Share Posted July 23, 2012 That's some good advice. Thank you! I'm actually a CASA myself so I might be able to get some assistance from them. Thank you! 1 Link to comment
cinepro Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Apparently, she has never lost a case.Does that mean none of her clients changed their minds and decided to stay married? Link to comment
ERayR Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Does that mean none of her clients changed their minds and decided to stay married? That would be in the win column. Link to comment
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