New Area Is Driving Me Nuts

[silvermoon383]

I don't know what it is about my new home, but it is driving me up the wall. It all started with a forced move: college was finished (finally), but the money ran out before I got a job so it was off to be with the parents. However, they had moved while they were in college so it was off to a city I'd only visited for no more than 2-3 weeks at a time. So here I am in a town I know little about.

For reasons I don't understand, this stake does not have a YSA ward/branch, just a designated ward that meets at 830am. Since that's out of the question it was off to the family ward, 3 years early. While the bishopric is friendly and made sure I was feeling welcome (and my 2nd week happened to include an interview with the stake presidency for some reason), the babies and kids were killing sacrament meeting for me. Yes, I'm well aware that kids will make noise, but is it too much to ask to take them out into the foyer when they get loud? Thankfully, I'm starting to get used to it, with the help of a fully-loaded iPad.

What takes the cake though, is the YSA FHEs. Institute is nice, once again I have a CES teacher, not a regular member that got a calling, but FHE is another matter entirely. Instead of the activity being the focus (like every other YSA FHE group/branch I've ever been in), the lesson part gets a full hour. Once you account for opening song, announcements, and the prayers this only leaves 10-15 minutes for the activity, forcing it to be the kind of short, silly activity we use to keep the primary kids occupied. There's one young woman I was hoping to talk to tonight (doubly so since I'm flying out of town for the a month or more next week). Didn't get a chance as the lesson had gone over, and the 15-minute plea to assist in a new reactivation effort pushed FHE past the end time before they said the closing prayer. This meant she was out the door the moment "amen" hit the air.

Yeah, I'm probably a little moody right now since this is twice in two weeks that FHE has gone like this (the previous ones here were passable), but it's seriously starting to affect my desire to attend. They're starting to talk about getting a branch going (finally), but if the branch is going to be like these FHEs, I think I'll stay with the family ward (assuming I don't get a job in another area).

[Kenngo1969]

In no way do I wish to minimize your plight, but if those are the worst problems you have, you're doing quite well, thank you! (You're welcome! )

[Messenger]

Birds of a feather ....

Hopefully my ward gets better and gets rid of the politics, otherwise I'm simply moving on to another ward. I dont stay with a ward that I am not welcome in. It started off great, but that wore off in record time.

Its proabably time to move on in my case. At least you have a place to go, have a teacher. I'm like an alien in my own ward.

Dang, Im so looking forward to something new ....

[emeliza]

Maybe you should volunteer to teach the lesson and come up with the activity for the next FHE. Then you can control how long the lesson will be and make sure there is a fun activity that allows for more socializing.

[Messenger]

Just wanted to let everyone know that the ward I am in did go south for a few weeks. I dont really want to go into any details on that specifically. As I wrote above, I was disappointed. I was going to wait until I had no support before bugging out. I thought I'd pray about it, and ask for some help from Heavenly Father. The issue is around my duties surrounding my calling. I have a pretty clear understanding of what my responsibilities in my calling, and I got some pretty specific things that I was getting spiritual direction on. So, I just obeyed, and did them. In the back of my mind I could hear one of my leaders telling me that he didnt agree with what I did. But it was pretty clear to me that it was both within my stewardship and my calling. So today, I went to church thinking I was going to get hammered. I didnt. In fact, he was thankful for the things I had done. I pretty thankful. There is nothing worse then getting inspiration about the direction of your calling, than having it qwashed by the leadership that called you. I]m still reeling with thankfulness. I have a lot of pay back to do, and a lot of thankful prayers to speak.

[rpn]

Sounds like you might consider a dose of what can I do for them, rather than what they can do for me. Sorry you missed the girl, but speaking from the girl's perspective, it would stink to meet someone who was leaving town the next day for a month or more.

[ERayR]

Silvermoon and Messenger you remind me of a story I once heard. It seems that a stranger came to town and as he got to the center of town he saw an old man sitting in front of the barbershop. He stopped and asked the old man "What kind of people live in this town". The old man looked at him and asked him "what kind of people lived in your former hometown?". The man replied that they were mean spirited, unfriendly, back biting people. The old man looked at him and said "you will find the people here pretty much the same. So the man went on down the road.

Not long after another man came to town and stopped in front of the same old man at the barbershop and asked the old man "What kind of people live in this town". The old man looked at him and asked him "what kind of people lived in your former hometown?". The man replied that they were very friendly, caring and loving people. The old man looked at him and said "you will find the people here pretty much the same.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

I don't know what it is about my new home, but it is driving me up the wall. It all started with a forced move: college was finished (finally), but the money ran out before I got a job so it was off to be with the parents. However, they had moved while they were in college so it was off to a city I'd only visited for no more than 2-3 weeks at a time. So here I am in a town I know little about.

For reasons I don't understand, this stake does not have a YSA ward/branch, just a designated ward that meets at 830am. Since that's out of the question it was off to the family ward, 3 years early. While the bishopric is friendly and made sure I was feeling welcome (and my 2nd week happened to include an interview with the stake presidency for some reason), the babies and kids were killing sacrament meeting for me. Yes, I'm well aware that kids will make noise, but is it too much to ask to take them out into the foyer when they get loud? Thankfully, I'm starting to get used to it, with the help of a fully-loaded iPad.

What takes the cake though, is the YSA FHEs. Institute is nice, once again I have a CES teacher, not a regular member that got a calling, but FHE is another matter entirely. Instead of the activity being the focus (like every other YSA FHE group/branch I've ever been in), the lesson part gets a full hour. Once you account for opening song, announcements, and the prayers this only leaves 10-15 minutes for the activity, forcing it to be the kind of short, silly activity we use to keep the primary kids occupied. There's one young woman I was hoping to talk to tonight (doubly so since I'm flying out of town for the a month or more next week). Didn't get a chance as the lesson had gone over, and the 15-minute plea to assist in a new reactivation effort pushed FHE past the end time before they said the closing prayer. This meant she was out the door the moment "amen" hit the air.

Yeah, I'm probably a little moody right now since this is twice in two weeks that FHE has gone like this (the previous ones here were passable), but it's seriously starting to affect my desire to attend. They're starting to talk about getting a branch going (finally), but if the branch is going to be like these FHEs, I think I'll stay with the family ward (assuming I don't get a job in another area).

From the scriptures "this too will pass"...good luck, and welcome.

[Messenger]

Silvermoon and Messenger you remind me of a story I once heard. It seems that a stranger came to town and as he got to the center of town he saw an old man sitting in front of the barbershop. He stopped and asked the old man "What kind of people live in this town". The old man looked at him and asked him "what kind of people lived in your former hometown?". The man replied that they were mean spirited, unfriendly, back biting people. The old man looked at him and said "you will find the people here pretty much the same. So the man went on down the road.

Not long after another man came to town and stopped in front of the same old man at the barbershop and asked the old man "What kind of people live in this town". The old man looked at him and asked him "what kind of people lived in your former hometown?". The man replied that they were very friendly, caring and loving people. The old man looked at him and said "you will find the people here pretty much the same.

ERayR,

HAHA! Really? That’s weird. There are all kinds of people in the world. But I will say this, by their works ye shall know them. What do you work at? My memory is excellent on your posts. Some people have a really hard time being Christ like. They are usually the people that dont understand family and our Priesthood responsibility to others. I suppose they have thier place they are comfortable in. When they are in callings, they often need to be reminded by the Spirit, and even on forums, that its not the same place I am comfortable in.

You remind me of my own story. Years ago, after my divorce, I returned to the ward were I was baptized. I renewed ties with many good friends. There was one lady, who about 70 years years old. She was anti-social, and bitter to be frank. She sat next to me during sacrement. When the sacrement was passed, she started to lean over and pass it to me, then looked at me, and took it back before I could take it. When the sacrement was passed to the row behind me, I reached over the pew and looked at her while I took it, and smiled while I did. What was even more funny and wierd, in the 15 years I attended that ward, she never sat next to me or spoke a word to me, except for that one time. Perhaps you can relate?

I suppose the Social Hall in this forum is for us to vent a little, and help us verbalize our struggles. But seriously, I really think its wrong for you try and put down those that are trying to get through an issue. But perhaps that sort of thing simply makes you feel better? One thing is for sure .... you seem to always be an example to me. Whats that like anyways?

Mark

Here is a smile back at you and a kiss.

Edited October 10, 2011 by Messenger

[ERayR]

ERayR,

HAHA! Really? That’s weird. There are all kinds of people in the world. But I will say this, by their works ye shall know them. What do you work at? My memory is excellent on your posts. Some people have a really hard time being Christ like. They are usually the people that dont understand family and our Priesthood responsibility to others. I suppose they have thier place they are comfortable in. When they are in callings, they often need to be reminded by the Spirit, and even on forums, that its not the same place I am comfortable in.

You remind me of my own story. Years ago, after my divorce, I returned to the ward were I was baptized. I renewed ties with many good friends. There was one lady, who about 70 years years old. She was anti-social, and bitter to be frank. She sat next to me during sacrement. When the sacrement was passed, she started to lean over and pass it to me, then looked at me, and took it back before I could take it. When the sacrement was passed to the row behind me, I reached over the pew and looked at her while I took it, and smiled while I did. What was even more funny and wierd, in the 15 years I attended that ward, she never sat next to me or spoke a word to me, except for that one time. Perhaps you can relate?

I suppose the Social Hall in this forum is for us to vent a little, and help us verbalize our struggles. But seriously, I really think its wrong for you try and put down those that are trying to get through an issue. But perhaps that sort of thing simply makes you feel better? One thing is for sure .... you seem to always be an example to me. Whats that like anyways?

Mark

Here is a smile back at you and a kiss.

Mark

I am not trying put anybody down. I was just passing on a story with a moral. In case it went by you the moral is that any place is pretty much what you make of it. You can make it an unpleasant place or you can make it a pleasant place.

I work at trying to emulate my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I haven't got it perfected yet but my brothers and sisters in my ward tell me I am getting there. I have found that by being a good neighbor I have gained many friends and good neighbors.

May his peace be your lot.

[Messenger]

ERayR

I've never seen this particular approach before. If it works for you, keep it up! It didnt for me and I doubt it worked for the OP. I'm sorry I wasnt able to explain my situation to your understanding. Perhaps if you wish to impart of advice in the future, you should ask a few more questions to fully understand whats going on before you jump right in and get all wet!

Further, take a gander at my last update (post #5) before your post.

Pleasant journey & Sayonara.

PS. Keep studying

.

Edited October 12, 2011 by Messenger

[One Clear Voice]

I don't know what it is about my new home, but it is driving me up the wall. It all started with a forced move: college was finished (finally), but the money ran out before I got a job so it was off to be with the parents. However, they had moved while they were in college so it was off to a city I'd only visited for no more than 2-3 weeks at a time. So here I am in a town I know little about.

For reasons I don't understand, this stake does not have a YSA ward/branch, just a designated ward that meets at 830am. Since that's out of the question it was off to the family ward, 3 years early. While the bishopric is friendly and made sure I was feeling welcome (and my 2nd week happened to include an interview with the stake presidency for some reason), the babies and kids were killing sacrament meeting for me. Yes, I'm well aware that kids will make noise, but is it too much to ask to take them out into the foyer when they get loud? Thankfully, I'm starting to get used to it, with the help of a fully-loaded iPad.

What takes the cake though, is the YSA FHEs. Institute is nice, once again I have a CES teacher, not a regular member that got a calling, but FHE is another matter entirely. Instead of the activity being the focus (like every other YSA FHE group/branch I've ever been in), the lesson part gets a full hour. Once you account for opening song, announcements, and the prayers this only leaves 10-15 minutes for the activity, forcing it to be the kind of short, silly activity we use to keep the primary kids occupied. There's one young woman I was hoping to talk to tonight (doubly so since I'm flying out of town for the a month or more next week). Didn't get a chance as the lesson had gone over, and the 15-minute plea to assist in a new reactivation effort pushed FHE past the end time before they said the closing prayer. This meant she was out the door the moment "amen" hit the air.

Yeah, I'm probably a little moody right now since this is twice in two weeks that FHE has gone like this (the previous ones here were passable), but it's seriously starting to affect my desire to attend. They're starting to talk about getting a branch going (finally), but if the branch is going to be like these FHEs, I think I'll stay with the family ward (assuming I don't get a job in another area).

Sounds like your out in the Boonies somewhere!

[Peppermint Patty]

Silvermoon,

Just a guess, but from your avatar is it safe to assume that you graduated from BYU?

[silvermoon383]

Nope. Never went there, never wanted to go there.

[Calm]

Silvermoon,

Just a guess, but from your avatar is it safe to assume that you graduated from BYU?

Guys aren't allowed to have earrings at BYU.

[silvermoon383]

True that. One of the reasons why I put my foot down so hard when Mom insisted that I go to BYU. I'm no rebel, but I much prefer wearing what I wish, not what others say I need to (and have no good reason why I have to. And no, I don't have any piercings XD)

OCV, according to some people I've met, NC is the boonies, at least Church-wise. Most of the kids in the ward are the only Mormons in their school, seminary meets in the early morning, and the YSA program consists of about a dozen or so in the stake. Compared with Utah and other parts of the west (like the part of Idaho I'm currently visiting) there are so few of us that it can be a pain when trying to connect with your fellows.

[Messenger]

Last night I read some journals from when I went to BYU. Generally I loved the religion classes, plus I liked being where there were a lot of other LDS people my age. I had a lot of entries about dating too - I mean a lot of them, which was a little surprising looking back. I too prefer not to be told how to dress, but then again, I always wore a white button shirt, loose fit tie and jeans when I went to class. Somehow I felt comfortable in those white shirts after my mission. To be honest, I really didn’t care for any of the other classes at BYU. My community college back home was much more learning friendly. I mean, if someone were to ask me what I remember about 'American Heritage' or 'Economics' at BYU, there wouldn’t be any real moment of discovery in those classes - even though I got good grades. But, when I look back and think of 'Business' 101 or 'Speech' at my local community college I have much greater feelings of discovery in them. Perhaps it was because the professors at BYU always seemed really remote and unreachable and some were just plain rude. Perhaps this was because it was overcrowded with 300 students in an auditorium and you could barely hear anything. In the end I got my two year degree from a community college, and never finished BYU. Not many people knew anything about ADHD back then, so when I went to counseling to figure out what was going on, I think they just thought I was stupid. BYU was overcrowded, so there weren’t a lot of reasons for any BYU councilors to discover why I had a learning problem with algebra, as most ADHD people have. But, the religion classes were incredible and much, much more learning in that area than any other. I memorized a dozen or so scriptures, and that’s not an easy task for anybody with ADHD. I’m sure BYU has changed now, but back then BYU never felt like home to me, and I never felt secure there; just another cog in the machinery. It was more like going to school at a factory. I know the church has its reasons, but it sure would have been nice to have gone to a church school that was a bit more community oriented or certainly more friendly.