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Glamour article on Mormon Virgin


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On an unrelated note, our EQ lesson last week focused on the basics of giving blessings. When the teacher was reviewing whether or not it was ever OK to use an oil other than olive oil (no), I thought to suggest that we should use extra virgin olive oil if the person isn't married.



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Give her another 15-20 years, and then ask her if she has any regret.


How compelling.

'Life' makes you regret having unwed sex.

Scoff if you wish, but yes, it actually does.

Well, I've been happily married to the same woman for nigh ten years, but other than the fact that I have sired three awesome children and that she probably would have divorced me by now, I deeply regret that I am not still a virgin.

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I wonder if she is active or not or had to face any Church court business or aything

If she is active, she'll probably face disfellowshipment or excommunication because she went "above and beyond" by publishing it to the world, rather than keeping it a private matter among ecclesiastical leaders.

If she is less active, either nothing will be done at all, or she'll be summoned to a Church court where disciplinary action will be taken whether she is there or not.

It seems like it's something she's not exactly remorseful over, so disciplinary action will probably result.

But I'm (thankfully) not her Bishop so I can't make that call. Whatever happens now is between her and her ecclesiastical leaders.

I honestly wish this wasn't such a taboo subject, but honestly, sex education needs to be better implemented into Mormon society.

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Condoms can prevent that.

You act like it is 100%. My oldest is the product of the pill and a condom. The pill wasn't working right as I had antibotics a few weeks prior and I have no idea what happened with the condom not working. Maybe had a hole. We didn't check at the time.

Also some STD's manifest themselves in areas that a condom wouldn't cover as well. I had a friend who ended up with something and he was wearing a condom. Pretty sad situation for him. It isn't a curable disease and now he is stuck with it.

Then there is the problem with oral sex, most people don't wear condoms to perform that and I believe recent studies have suggested diseases are spreading that way quite a bit nowadays.

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I don't see that she made sex her God. I just think it was TMI. It's probably the Facebook generation thing - all the private details of your life are public now.

Um...don't forget, she got paid for it. She is a writer and uses her own life to write.

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I think this young woman is slowly discovering that nothing horrible happens to you if you have unmarried sex.

The costs of fornication are spiritual only (in my opinion).


From my dual perspective as a bishop and an emergency physician, there are many horrible things (not only spiritual) that happen with some regularity as a result of unmarried sex.

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For teens and irresponsible people - I agree.

For consenting, mature, responsible adults, the 'material' costs of unwed sex are really nonexistent.

Mature responsible people get married first, period. I know a couple who got pregnant on condoms, I know another who got pregnant on a copper IUD and have heard of two others that got pregnant on the copper IUD. I also know of another couple that got pregnant on the pill. There are a lot of girls out there getting abortions. Many of those girls will carry a heavy burden of pain and regret over the decision to abort. There are a lot of single moms out there who have never been married who are carrying a heavy burden. You cant just say...."well those are the irresponsible ones" Yeah maybe many were irresponsible but teaching people to be mature and get married is the highest level of being responsible that we should aspire to. Teaching people to simply use birth control is teaching a lower level of responsibility. We will always have problems with disease and pregnancy out of wedlock. However, if we succomb to our baser selves and teach the lower level of responsibility we get more problems than by teaching the higher level of responsibility of getting married.

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Who cares? Outside of a Mormon population, that number is irrelevant.

Except for perhaps the rather huge proportion of the U.S. that believes in sexual abstinence. That statistic is powerful evidence that cultural/religious teaching of abstinence does indeed dramatically reduce the frequency of premarital sex.

The reality is that the more negative consequences of sex are the result of poor sex education.

And countless other socioeconomic factors.

If you look at the statistics for the most open-minded country... the Netherlands (where prostitution is legal and there is sexual activity on TV), you can see that they have sex, on average, at a later age than Americans, get pregnant less, get less STD's, and have less abortions per pregnancy.


The Netherlands is a wealthy, educated, technologically advanced country. It is very ethnically and culturally homogenized, and it also has universal socialized medical care - any person can get free birth control, condoms, abortions and STD treatments. There are countless other factors besides liberal attitudes towards sex influencing the rates of sexual activity, pregnancy and STDs.

The Christian approach has been terribly unsuccessful.

I don't know what the 'Christian Approach' is, but the 'LDS approach' seems to be statistically very successful at reducing the incidence of premarital sex, teen pregnancy, and STDs.

Even if you just tally in Utah stats, you can see that something is very wrong in the typical US approach when compared to more enlightened countries.

'more enlightened countries'


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I don't know what the 'Christian Approach' is, but the 'LDS approach' seems to be statistically very successful at reducing the incidence of premarital sex, teen pregnancy, and STDs.

That's true. While 60% of LDS women have premarital sex, I'm pretty sure the activity rate in the church is well shy of 40%. That's pretty good behavior, when you think about it that way.

In my own ward activity is probably 25%. I don't think that's atypical.

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