Ga's Top Ten Ways To Eat A Reese's

[maklelan]

I don't know who originally wrote this, but this is where I found it:

http://www.anyboard.net/soc/religion/chris...osts/52793.html

TOP TEN WAYS General Authorities Eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

10. Paul H. Dunn: "I remember back in WWII that I ate a Reese's Peanut

Butter Cup. Back then, they were big enough to live on for a week.

Being the only soldier to have survived the battle in my brigade, I

really didn't know if I could eat it or not, but I remember my fallen

buddy's words as he died in my arms: "Paul, if you just take one bite at

a time you can tackle anything." So I took that giant cup and, breaking

it with the bat Babe Ruth gave me after I struck him out with two outs

in the bottom of the ninth in the seventh game of the World Series,

proceeded to wolf down the tiny morsels."

9. David B. Haight: "Imagine 70 years ago on a rough road between

Idaho and Logan. There were no Circle K's, no 7-11's. You had to bring

your Peanut Butter Cups with you. Ruby and I split one for the first

time in 1937.

8. Dallin H. Oaks: "The Reese's Peanut Butter Cup challenges us to

consume. From the beginning there have been three steps in eating a

Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. First, remove the wrapper. This is best

done quickly, by turning the cup over, grasping the outer fold and

pulling away from the bottom. Second..."

7. Joseph B. Wirthlin: "When I was young I would sprint to the corner

store, buy a Reese's and run my hand through my hair before taking it

down in one bite. These days I don't sprint, and I have no hair, but the

peanut butter cup remains."

6. Richard G. Scott: "If you have not eaten a Reese's Peanut Butter

Cup, I plead with you. Eat one now. Enjoy the chocolate, the peanut

butter. Do not delay. If you have thought, "That's not for me", I

plead with you to reconsider. Of all foods I treasure, this one was the

first."

5. M. Russell Ballard: "The time has come when members of the church

need to reach out to our friends and share a cup, a peanut butter cup.

It is not enough to raise a chocolate bar, it must now have peanut

butter."

4. Thomas S. Monson: "I remember I ate my first Reese's Peanut Butter

Cup when I was a tender lad of eight. My mother came up to me, and with

a loving twinkle in her eye, asked, 'Tommy, are you eating a Reese's?'

And I would invariably smile up to her, 'Yes, Yes, I am.'

'But Tommy, did you know that Sister Jensen next door hasn't eaten a

Reese's Cup in years?' My young mind thought upon the plight of my

neighbor. Tears were shed. Hearts were gladdened. A cup was shared."

3. Boyd K. Packer: "In all my years, I have always eaten my Reese's

Peanut Butter Cups the same way - the established way we have been

instructed to eat them. There is a far greater evil in this world -

those who believe they can eat their cups in a way unconventional to the

time-honored manner. We must be true and faithful and eat our Reese's

Peanut Butter Cups in the customary and recognized approach as it has

been established."

2. Neal A. Maxwell: "I intentionally initiate the delicious design of

deglutition of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup by nibbling a negligible

nit of the culinary creamy cavalcade. It is exclusively through small

entities that the great things are fabricated."

AND THE #1 WAY

1. J. Golden Kimball: "Hell, Heber, I'll eat a Reese's Peanut Butter

Cup any damned way I want!"

[charity]

I laugh, but I feel guilty doing it. Is this pretty close to light minded?

[Thama]

If this is light-minded, then we should just go ahead and ban the entire genre of "comedy" from the viewing of the Church's membership.

Now, if you were referring to Utah Mormon comedies like "Singles Ward" or "Mobsters and Mormons", then you might have a point.

[ed2276]

Hiiiiilarious!!!!!

But true! Even Joseph Smith said :

Take away our Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and the revelations, and where is our religion? We have none.

[Severian]

Brigham Young - A man cannot enter the Celestial Candy Kingdom if he does not have several boxes of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. If the Reese's has offended me, it can be made right by spilling its creamy peanut butter filling in my mouth. The Original Peanut Butter Cup was Adam. If ye be a comely peanut butter cup, get thee to my Beehive House hence.

[charity]

If this is light-minded, then we should just go ahead and ban the entire genre of "comedy" from the viewing of the Church's membership.

Now, if you were referring to Utah Mormon comedies like "Singles Ward" or "Mobsters and Mormons", then you might have a point.

Comedy about single Mormons, or even missionaries (The Best Two Years is very enjoyable, and the actor's commentary special feature is hilarious), but General Authorities?

[ed2276]

Comedy about single Mormons, or even missionaries (The Best Two Years is very enjoyable, and the actor's commentary special feature is hilarious), but General Authorities?

Now , now , Charity. I'm sure even GA's have a sense of humor. They're probably rolling on the floor laughing right now after reading the OP! (Whilst eating Reese's Peanut Butter Cups).

[Jigglysaint]

I am more partial to Jesus's Pieces myself.

[Pahoran]

Brigham Young - A man cannot enter the Celestial Candy Kingdom if he does not have several boxes of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. If the Reese's has offended me, it can be made right by spilling its creamy peanut butter filling in my mouth. The Original Peanut Butter Cup was Adam. If ye be a comely peanut butter cup, get thee to my Beehive House hence.

And thus Severian sneaks in a little slander, thinly disguised as humour.

Regards,

Pahoran

[nana]

I think that even the Lord God almighty has a sense of humor. After all look at us, each different, each unique, what a comedic bunch we are.

Light mindedness is in the eyes of the beholder I guess.

Thanks I needed a good laugh!

Even you Pahoran, didn't you even smile a bit before you became snarky at Severian?

[Pahoran]

I think that even the Lord God almighty has a sense of humor. After all look at us, each different, each unique, what a comedic bunch we are.

Light mindedness is in the eyes of the beholder I guess.

Thanks I needed a good laugh!

Even you Pahoran, didn't you even smile a bit before you became snarky at Severian?

Oh, I certainly enjoyed the OP, even though I'd seen it before. Ham-fisted swipes that miss the mark, however, are not amusing.

Regards,

Pahoran

[Jigglysaint]

I think that even the Lord God almighty has a sense of humor. After all look at us, each different, each unique, what a comedic bunch we are.

Light mindedness is in the eyes of the beholder I guess.

Thanks I needed a good laugh!

Even you Pahoran, didn't you even smile a bit before you became snarky at Severian?

Somehow I feel that we are making God more depressed than laughing. In fact if anybody is laughing, it's the devil.

But it certainly does bring a smile to God's face when we realise just how stupid we look when we try to take the vanities of the world and think that's all there is to life. He loves it when we see the light.

[Maidservant]

Hilarious!

[wipes tears from eyes and gets up off the floor]

[Thama]

Comedy about single Mormons, or even missionaries (The Best Two Years is very enjoyable, and the actor's commentary special feature is hilarious), but General Authorities?

After all of the jokes that GBH tells on himself and his fellow brethren, even in Conference? I didn't know that the eccentricities of the speaking styles of the Brethren were considered sacred material.

[Programmer]

ooohhhh, that was so funny. I was snickerly quietly reading them, but than I read the Joseph Smith 'quote'. All conflaberations busted loose as I snorkled out a laugh! oh boy, that was worth it... whewww.....

[Severian]

And thus Severian sneaks in a little slander, thinly disguised as humour.

Regards,

Pahoran

You are right. Even if the peanut butter cup seems yummy and irresistible now, we must ask ourselves what it will be like in fifty years. Can we live with a squadron of them then?

[Thinking]

11. Gordon B. Hinckley: "I don't know that we eat them. I understand the appeal, but those flecks are behind us now. We eat Reese's Pieces."

[Thinking]

12. Joseph Smith: "What a thing it is for a man to be accused of eating a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup when I can't find even one."

[Thinking]

13. Joseph Fielding Smith: "The Reese's Peanut Butter Cup is either the best candy bar or it isn't. There is no middle ground."

[Thinking]

14. Bruce R. McConkie: "There is no satisfaction in the consumption of bad candy bars. I testify that the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup is a good candy bar and will satisfy the soul as well as the tummy."

[Thinking]

15. Consiglieri: "This Reese's Peanut Butter Cup is a definite bulls-eye!"

[Thinking]

16. Pahoran: "Your chocolate shell doesn't hide your peanut butter filling. It's not nice to pretend to be one thing but then be another. See that you don't do it again!"

[Thinking]

17. Deborah: "I wish you were made out of Dark Chocolate instead of Milk Chocolate!"

[LifeOnaPlate]

Thinking: "I find it interesting the packaging of the Reese's peanut butter cup has changed over the past 15 years. I guess that means the Reese's itself was never a good candy, and never will be a good candy. Don't ask me to taste it again, after spending two years choking it down I couldn't stand to eat it anymore. But I can stand to keep talking about its problems, though, which I will do until the end of time and space."

[TJane]

All of you are ignoring the scriptures that speak of this subject.

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his Reeseâ??s hateth his son; but he that loveth him feedeth him betimes.

Matt 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you Reeseâ??s.

Alma 32:27

But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your appetite, even to an experiment upon my recipe, and exercise a particle of taste, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to eat, let this appetite work in you, even until ye eat in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my Reeseâ??s.

D&C 104: 17 For the earth is full of Reeseâ??s cups and there is enough and to spare:

Even with all this evidence, I believe that peanut butter and chocolate should remain as far apart as humanly possible. I believe that peanut butter was create to make jelly sandwiches more healthy by adding protein and healthy fat.

But I am not anti-Reese's. I take my family to the store to get the Reese's that they want, though I don't buy any for myself. True, I don't go as often as they would like me to. Some say that I am not being true to myself. But for the sake of family unity, I go and, though I don't partake, I am participating to the extent my wallet allows.

Jane