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Posts posted by TAO

  1. Sometimes our prayers don't get answered. It is then that our faith is tested most.

    One thing about literal faith, I think you should remember, is that it fulfills itself oftentimes through physical things. For example, to help overcome a personal weakness, you might read the scriptures, and pray alot. One might say 'oh positive thinking' caused it. And that'd be possible. But it could also be God's tender mercy twoards you in providing a method of communication with him where you could feel comforted, as well as his tender mercy twoards you in providing literature that can help you move forward. I guess what I'm trying to get is this; faith doesn't always result in something unsubstantial and undeniably of God. Sometimes God works through physical small things. There's that one verse in the Book of Mormon talks about it slightly.

    Alma 37:6-7

    Now ye may suppose that this is afoolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by bsmall and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.

    And the Lord God doth work by ameans to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very bsmall means the Lord doth cconfound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.

    So yeah... perhaps God is already answering your prayers. Just not in the way you expected it. Perhaps he has other things in store for you.

    Also, good job on overcoming the transgressions. Keep working at it. You can do it! We have confidence in you!

    • Upvote 1
  2. Well, obviouslly I disagree with 3 and 5 (3 is because almost everybody will accept Christ in the afterlife eventually). I even know there are ways you can logically disagree with 4 and 6 (even if I don't adhere to them). 1 is a bit harder, but I suppose you could even justify that. About the only one I agree with wholely is number 2.

  3. Your are (1) labeling the 90+% of LDS young men who masturbate as "addicts,"

    Becasuse it often turns into such.

    and (2) labeling the bodies of young women as "addiction triggers."

    No. I'm labeling the nude bodies of women in general as "addiciton triggers." Understand the difference.

    This attitude, which I know is widespread among the LDS church, is a perfect recipe to foster shame among LDS youth, and unhealthy attitudes about their bodies.

    What's wrong about shame? A little bit of shame is okay, as long as it is not excessive.

    For the psychological health of LDS youth, this has got to stop.

    I think what I am saying is healthy.

    • Upvote 1
  4. Let's try this:

    This woman is in hijab. She is covered completely except for her face. She is beautiful (imho), and it wouldn't take the least effort for my hetero brain to go completely off the rails if she were to walk into the room, exactly as she is in this photo. Don't tell my wife.

    Men are visual, eveyone knows this. Even when we are happily married we have to be careful where and how we use our eyes. But this is no reason to make our wives, daughters, mothers, and female friends have to walk around covered in a tent. We just have to get our own brains under control. Of course, it is nice if the women around us recognize our difficulty and don't make it more difficult by dressing immodestly. But a mother discreetly nursing her baby should not feel ashamed for doing so, and the men around her should get a grip on their eyes and brains.

    Again, I'll say this... I don't mind if I can't see anything. That's what discreet would mean, right?

  5. TAO, I'm not going to reply to every point in all three of your posts, but I think there was a general theme that the woman should leave the chapel to breastfeed, just in case a bit of her breast is shown, out of consideration for the deacon who might happen to pass her pew while passing the sacrament.

    Correct. That was sort of what I was suggesting, in a sense.

    I disagree, and I've already made all the points of why, I don't really want to rehash every one. The reality is, there is nothing on show and it's highly unlikely that anything is seen.

    I already told you, if nothing is to be seen, I have no problems with it. I have problems when things CAN be seen.

    A woman's calves, ankles, kneck or even a fully clothed attractive woman can be a trigger.

    Definately possible, but not likely. Why? Because society doesn't sexualize (and thus doesn't mention very often) a woman's calves, ankles, or neck.

    Should we ask all of the women to stay in the lobby for the sake of the Deacon who should in reality be taught that all his feelings and attractions are entirely natural and positive and should be embraced, but in anticipation.

    If you read my post, you'll realize I'm not only talking about the youth. I also mentioned people who have sex-related addictions (chances are there are a few in your ward).

    Learning to control thoughts is one of the greatest skills any person can embrace.

    But it doesn't happen in an instant. In fact, it takes an incredibly long time. It took me six years to learn to control my thoughts to the degree that I have now. And it's by no means perfect.

    It is a skill needed not just for the deacon, but for all people. If we put the emphasis on the breastfeeding woman being hidden, we are teaching the more important skill of how to react as a man.

    Of course it is. But people with these sort of addicitons aren't going to be able to control their feelings with the snap of a finger. You sort of expect it to be 'tada done'. It's not like that. It's not like that at all. You have no idea how hard it is for people to quit addictions. Because as much as actions are a problem, thoughts are even worse. You get bombarded everywhere you go. It's not easy to control your thoughts.

    Because there will be far more to see and act as a trigger.

    There may be other things out there that cause a trigger, but this is a very strong one.

    But thank you for your comment about McDs and carrott sticks. It made me properly laugh (not just 'lol'). The idea that the world became a healthier place when McDs started selling carrot sticks is really quite amusing. The only reason McD started selling carrot sticks is not so that people would switch from a burger and fries to a burger and carrot sticks, but so that people who usually buy a salad from somewhere else will come in and buy a McDs salad (which isn't actually very healthy).


  6. Chastity and pure thoughts do derive from another's modesty but the individual's own integrity.

    I'll digress. Your enviroment play a HUGE effect on your pure thoughts.

    If we make a teenage boy's ability to have clean thoughts dependent on another's modesty then we have lost. There is far more immodesty, instantly accessible, than a breastfeeding mother in sacrament.

    We have to go to church to partake in sacrament. It's unavoidable if we want to keep our covenants. How many other events do you have which are unavoidable which cause you to be exposed to female parts to that degree.

    We don't solve obesity by shutting all the burger bars.

    But the dieter may be able to avoid burger bars by taking a different way home from work. We can't avoid sacrament.

    The dieter who loses weight with a lock on the fridge hasn't really 'won'

    Yes they have. They are smart enough to put a physical constraint in case their willpower one fails. Eventually, they hope to do it solely based off of willpower, but until then, a physical constraint will do.

    The person who embraces healthy eating and leaves the chocolate cake in the fridge and reaches for the salad is the true winner.

    But the person who also avoids the chocolate cake by asking their spouse not to bring it in the house is also a winner. Just in a different way.

    If I become immoral, I can only blame me.

    Yes, you can only blame you. Still, others can contribute a major effect to helping you become moral. Call it... good influences, and a good enviorment.

  7. If a woman is parading a bare breast around the chapel then I guess the Bishop might need to have a word. The truth is that a woman can easily breastfeed where she's sat in the pew with next to nothing on display.

    Canard, most people don't have a problem if there is next to nothing to display. What we have a problem with is when they actually DO display it.

    I'm glad a nursing room is an option, but it's by no means a requirement. There is no violation of temple covenants by breastfeeding. Just like there's no violation of covenants at the beach or pool.

    Of course there's no covenant violation.

  8. Here's a clue... McD DO sell carrot sticks. People are still obese. Problem not solved.

    I never said that it'd solve the problem. I said that allowing it would make the problem worse. If McD stops selling carrot sticks, people WILL get more unhealthy.

    That's the problem of the 'looker' not the mother.

    Well, if you don't want to show courtesy to accidental lookers, I suppose so.

    It bothers me that women are told to not be "walking porn" for the young men. Wrong message. Boys, don't look, problem solved.

    Boys ARE told that. Unfortunately, not looking is a lot more difficult than that. Furthermore, it's more than not looking, it's not catching any glances. That means you have to know where people are doing things BEFORE you look.

    I once saw a breastfeeding mother? Oh dear... I shall go and hand in my TR. Entirely not an issue.

    You really don't get what I'm getting at.

    Let's take a person who is addicted to pornography (or any other sexual addiction, like masturbation). As you know, in order to get over addictions, one has to avoid triggers. One of the best places to avoid triggers is church because people where modest clothes and have good language, preventing large amounts of triggers from bothering that person. Now let's take a look at breastfeeding. It is not intended as a sexual act. But it acts as a trigger for the person who is addicted to pornography, sending swarms of images that they wishes to keep locked up to their head, and ruining the sanctified enviroment they think church is.

    Do you sort of get what I mean? While it may not be nice to create restrictions, these restrictions prove helpful in some rather common case scenarios.

    In some ways, having breastfeeding in plain site is a good way of reminding these poor helpless teenage hornbags that there are other uses for such parts of the anatomy.

    Now your getting ridiculous. Do you think most church teens are unaware of breastfeeding? They most certainly are. But that doesn't change the fact that you are putting such things in their head.

    Being prudish and making the female body 'sinful' only makes it more intriguing.

    You don't get it. It's not the female body that is sinful. It's lusting after it that is sinful. I'd prefer not to trigger the thoughts of young men.

    I'm glad, for example, that my children have grown up in a house with an 'open bathroom door' policy. They are very familiar with the adult body which, I hope, will mean as they progress into teens it will be less of a 'forbidden fruit' and not feel a need to gawp at some poor breastfeeding mother trying to do one of the most natural things in the world.

    I'd guess most people who have problems don't have problems becasue it's forbidden fruit.

  9. That's like trying to cure obesity by telling McD to sell carrot sticks too.

    Yes. But, for strong things like this, sometimes that is the best path to take. After all, when it's difficult to block the triggers, the best case is avoidance.

    It's approaching the issue from the wrong end. The women should not be told to leave the room for the YM's sake. The YM should be taught where to look.

    I don't think you understand how hard it is for some people NOT to look. It took me several years of practice to hone my control my inner desires. It's not something you can just pick up due to the way our society is sexualized.

    They don't 'have to' look at anything. My shoelaces were always perfectly interesting when I was a deacon passing sacrament to a BF woman.

    But you saw it once. And you can never get that out of your head again.

  10. I'm sure that if you have a few heartfelt chats with the infants in your ward, they'll happily accommodate your preference.

    Nah, you misunderstand what I mean. I mean I'd hope the mothers would take them out into the lobby, if you get my drift. Here in the US, breasts are looked on in a sexual connotation, and I'd prefer for young men and boys not to have to look at them.

    • Upvote 1
  11. I seem to most strike out in this area. I don't know that I want to be an active participant of a church anymore. The appeal just isn't there and I don't want to put myself out there again just to possibly get burned again.

    I guess Sunday's will be at-home-scripture-study and rugby re-runs with cilantro-jalapeno hummus and chicken pasta salad with feta cheese and lemon vinaigrette dressing.

    Do what works best =).

  12. You probably will think I am a bit dim but what are rep points and who gives them?who gives the profile name/descrption and what do the dots beneath the posters username represent. Sorry if this seems a bit silly, but it's aggravating me that I am in the dark. Thanks for any clarification.

    You are not dim, they confused me a bit at first as well. :)

    Essentially, as others have said, they are things that say people liked your post. Anybody can give them and recieve them (except mods). There are no ways to gain negative rep points, and your sum total for a certain period is located on your profile. To find out who gave you the rep points, click the number in the bottom right corner. For instance, if you check Buzzard's post, Clamoriah, Gillbere, and I have all given it rep points.

    The dots below a profile picture represent the number of posts you have. They are levels of sorts. Once you pass a certain marker, you'll gain another dot. There's also a point where you get enough points to change the text above your picture as well (for example, mine says "=^..^="). I think this was around 600 or something, but I'm not quite sure.

  13. Saved, it generally isn't clearly defined, until there is a revelation of sorts, or a prophet says so. For instance, it has been revelaed that Songs of Solomon isn't Doctrinal Material (secular persay). That isn't to say we remove it, but it's not considered authoritative, if you know what I mean. (it still can contain useful wisdom though).

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