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Anger


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Aren't the scriptures abundantly clear that even God feels anger? (1 Kings 11:9, etc, etc, etc,)

Ephesians 4:26 KJV reads:

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Be ye angry and sin not

NIV

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In your anger do not sin

Feeling anger is not a sin, it is what we do with it that can potentially be sinful. 

Edited by pogi
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2 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

I mean it when I say your linguistics lesson was so very extra. 

Are you getting angry?  I know I have a tendency to point out what is obvious, sometimes, but I don't mean anything offensive by it.  I'm usually very open with my thoughts and feelings, sometimes stating the obvious simply because it is what I am thinking and I want to be open about what I am thinking with others.  

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7 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

My most effective expression of anger has been to calmly say “what just happened has me angry, and xyz is what I would like to see happen.”

Even more effective is when I can understand the vulnerability behind the anger,like has been alluded to here.  But I personally disagree that anger is secondary.  It’s real, it’s primal, and though usually accompanied, it’s as legit as any other emotion. Imo.  I don’t think there is anything but professional opinion to refute mine- ? 

I'm befuddled by how you could calmly say anything when you are angry.  I don't understand how that would be possible.  Unless what you call angry is what I would call being upset, which is a step below anger where I can still remain calm. 

When I get angry, I explode.  I am no longer calm when I get angry.

Edited by Ahab
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12 minutes ago, Ahab said:

Me not being able to tolerate something is what causes me to get angry.  I think we all have boundaries we do not want people to cross.

I see an expression of anger as a siren going off to let someone know they have crossed a line on someone's boundary. If I think it's unintentional I tend to only get upset rather than angry but when I can see that it is an intentional, and a bad thing, I tend to get angry about it.

I would appreciate hearing that.  It would be good for me to know they are working on overcoming their addition rather than giving into it without trying to recover.  As I said, my goal when I get angry is to get whatever causes me to get angry to stop, and if they're trying to stop it that is all I need to hear.  Plus it also helps me to hear that they realize it is a problem, too.

That is what the father said to his loved one in addiction, not the addict. He had been reacting in anger and it was not stopping the addict’s behavior. It is the experience of almost everyone who has a loved one in addiction. It never works. In most instances it just makes it worse. Learning how to set realistic boundaries on behavior and words without resorting to anger is what we try to do. “A soft answer turneth away wrath.”

I’ve had to learn this the hard way.

I agree that anger is not the first emotion. It is a reaction to fear, danger, threats, surprise, etc.

Edited by Bernard Gui
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3 minutes ago, Ahab said:

I'm befuddled by how you could calmly say anything when you are angry.  I don't understand how that would be possible.  Unless what you call angry is what I would call being upset, which is a step below anger where I can still remain calm. 

When I get angry, I explode.  I am no longer calm when I get angry.

The second you hand over the reins to your emotions, you are out-of-control.

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12 minutes ago, Bernard Gui said:

Moroni didn’t give Ammoron much wriggle room.

Moroni just wanted Ammoron to stop killing his people.  To stop attacking him and his people and his cities.  If Ammoron would have just stopped, I think Moroni would have no longer been angry with him.  All Ammoron needed to do was to just stop attacking them.

12 minutes ago, Bernard Gui said:

I haven’t experienced this level of anger. Well, there was that time when the guy in the big black Ford pickup tailgated me and then roared past me in the 25 mph zone of our residential street.....🤯

At least the driver of the big black Ford pickup stopped tailgating you without you having to kill him. (i will assume for the moment that the driver of the truck was male)

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1 minute ago, pogi said:

The second you hand over the reins to your emotions, you are out-of-control.

It's hard to describe but I am still in control when I get angry.  I am a bomb going off but I am still in control of my bomb.  And the faster whatever caused me to go off stops, the sooner the bomb stops exploding. 

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14 minutes ago, Ahab said:

I'm befuddled by how you could calmly say anything when you are angry.  I don't understand how that would be possible.  Unless what you call angry is what I would call being upset, which is a step below anger where I can still remain calm. 

When I get angry, I explode.  I am no longer calm when I get angry.

I’m skilled at slowing down, self reflection, and calculated response. 

I don’t do it often, but like I said, I’ve found it to be most effective. 

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19 minutes ago, Ahab said:

Are you getting angry?  I know I have a tendency to point out what is obvious, sometimes, but I don't mean anything offensive by it.  I'm usually very open with my thoughts and feelings, sometimes stating the obvious simply because it is what I am thinking and I want to be open about what I am thinking with others.  

I don’t think I’m angry, no. 

And if the masters lesson in linguistics or whatever is obvious , then I’m out of touch. 

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32 minutes ago, Ahab said:

I'm befuddled by how you could calmly say anything when you are angry.  I don't understand how that would be possible.  Unless what you call angry is what I would call being upset, which is a step below anger where I can still remain calm. 

When I get angry, I explode.  I am no longer calm when I get angry.

Anger is an emotion, not an act. A person can be furious without indicating it or at least without behaving explosively.

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3 minutes ago, Meadowchik said:

Anger is an emotion, not an act. A person can be furious without indicating it or at least without behaving explosively.

I realize anger is an emotion but that emotion is usually expressed externally so that other people are able to see it.  Otherwise I imagine it's like internal combustion and may result in ulcers and other internal problems.

And I'm talking about real life personal communications, in person.  I'm not talking about over the internet where you can't always see the the emotional state of the person communicating with you.

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5 minutes ago, Robert F. Smith said:

Good point.  Is it O.K. for God to get angry?  Is anger appropriate for righteous indignation?  Is it O.K. for children to express anger?

Are these rhetorical questions or do you really not know?

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1 minute ago, Calm said:

Have you raised children?  If so, how do you respond to them when they make you angry?

Yes.  I let them know that they have made me angry, what it was they did that caused me to get angry, what it was that was so wrong about what they did, and what they can do to not let it happen again.

Knowledge is power, so the more they know about how to prevent me from getting angry, the better we will all get along.

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56 minutes ago, Ahab said:

I'm befuddled by how you could calmly say anything when you are angry.  I don't understand how that would be possible.

So, I came home with my 6 or 7 yr old daughter one day, to discover that my wife's hatchery box of baby turkeys had experienced an escape, and my daughter's bedroom was covered in a dozen baby turkeys pooping on everything.  They had been out for several hours.  I was enraged at the mess that I would now have to clean up.  Off on the periphery of my senses, I saw my daughter was afraid that I'd hurt the turkeys.  It was a teaching moment.  It went something like this:

"Are you mad?"
"Yes."
"Are you going to hurt the turkeys?"
"No, I'm going to just stand here and tremble with rage for a moment.  When I calm down, I'll take care of them."

It took about 30 seconds.  It would have taken longer, but I saw the one especially stupid turkey who had found the necklace, and had swallowed everything except the jewel hanging from it.  Life threatening event replaced the anger with concern.  Emotions are frivolous and fleeting, and can get displaced by the next emotion easily.  But it's possible (at least for me) to behave calmly even in the grips of rage. 

image.png.e4b2f2ce860d05d45269342beaf8ade0.png

Edited by LoudmouthMormon
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Enoch describes hearing the Lord tell him He was angry with the people, using the word twice, the second time describing it as “fierce anger.”

The source of His anger?

A people He described as having hearts that have waxed cold, ears that are dull of hearing, and eyes that cannot see afar off.

Food for thought for all of us.  

I have especially benefitted over the years from the perspective and insights that have come as I’ve considered what it means to have eyes that can see afar off (looking both forward and back) and strived to do so.

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13 minutes ago, Ahab said:

that emotion is usually expressed externally so that other people are able to see it.

I doubt that. There are many times expressing anger is detrimental, so people control themselves. Think if angry at a boss, in military situations, if mugged or threatened with assault,  driving where expressing anger may increase accidents or road rage in the other, etc. 

Then there is the fallout of getting angry without remaining calm at loved ones if they are sensitive to such. 

Edited by Calm
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2 minutes ago, Ahab said:

Yes.  I let them know that they have made me angry, what it was they did that caused me to get angry, what it was that was so wrong about what they did, and what they can do to not let it happen again.

And you don’t do this calmly?

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5 minutes ago, LoudmouthMormon said:

So, I came home with my 6 or 7 yr old daughter one day, to discover that my wife's hatchery box of baby turkeys had experienced an escape, and my daughter's bedroom was covered in a dozen baby turkeys pooping on everything.  They had been out for several hours.  I was enraged at the mess that I would now have to clean up.  Off on the periphery of my senses, I saw my daughter was afraid that I'd hurt the turkeys.  It was a teaching moment.  It went something like this:

"Are you mad?"
"Yes."
"Are you going to hurt the turkeys?"
"No, I'm going to just stand here and tremble with rage for a moment.  When I calm down, I'll take care of them."

It took about 30 seconds.  It would have taken longer, but I saw the one especially stupid turkey who had found the necklace, and had swallowed everything except the jewel hanging from it.  Life threatening event replaced the anger with concern.  Emotions are frivolous and fleeting, and can get displaced by the next emotion easily.  But you can behave calmly even in the grips of rage. 

image.png.e4b2f2ce860d05d45269342beaf8ade0.png

What you describe as anger is what I would call being upset, which to my mind is a step lower than angry.  I applaud the way you handled that, though, and I would most likely respond in pretty much the same way except that I would have told her that I'm going to help her clean it all up.  Also mentioning sometime during my time with her what she should have done, instead, and should not have done.  And I'm sure we would also laugh about it some too.

Edited by Ahab
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4 minutes ago, Calm said:

And you don’t do this calmly?

Not if I am angry.  I'm not afraid of showing my anger to my children when they have made me angry.  I think it's a good life lesson for them.  They also get to see me when I am happy, and sad, etc.

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2 minutes ago, Ahab said:

Not if I am angry.  I'm not afraid of showing my anger to my children when they have made me angry.  I think it's a good life lesson for them.  They also get to see me when I am happy, and sad, etc.

How do you express your anger?  Do you yell or scream?  Throw things?

Edited by Calm
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3 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

Have you ever met someone who could use a little more anger in their lives? Someone who has no sense of boundaries, who believes they are to be used and abused

 

I have met people like that, but I've never considered that what they needed more of to help with their problems was anger.  I'm not sure that adding more anger would actually improve anything.  I think that adding more self awareness and self worth usually fixes the bold, without anger being necessary.  

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To the OP, I've found that anger is often like alcohol.  It clouds judgment and inhibition and greatly increases the likelihood of rash choices made without consideration of the consequences.  It also often causes people to feel that they are behaving rationally when impartial observers not under the influence of that emotion would disagree.

As far as anger as a way to correct injustice, I think the concern there is that I have often seen examples where people were in the right, but where their anger at the injustice overshadow the injustice itself, making the person's bad behavior the new focus of the issue, with the injustice falling into the background.

Anger can definitely serve a purpose, and righteous anger does exist, but it's such a difficult emotion to control that that's why I think the Savior spoke strongly about it.

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