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Calm

Marriage behaviour of church members any/everywhere?

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Another thread made me curious about how marriage works in places I haven’t been (the vast majority of the world).  Would appreciate people sharing their observations. 

What percentage of members are marrying other members in your area or areas you have been in long enough to observe?

How are members who date other members finding other members to date/marry (at various ages)?

Do the youth and young adults date mainly church members or nonmembers?  What about older adults, who are they likely to date?

How many spouses are converted prior to marriage due to their contact with the Church through their future spouse (or how many members are you seeing bringing nonmembers as ‘dates’ to church)?  

How often are nonmember spouses converted prior to kids hitting their teens?

What percentage of these wards/branches are partmember families?  Is there a significant difference between partmember and both parents members in the activity level of the parent(s) and children? 

Also, if in US or Canada, how many couples in these wards/branches are you aware of having met at any BYU or other church school (May marry after leaving any BYU, but wouldn’t have met if not for BYUs)?

For areas that had (have if there are any left) church schools outside of US and Canada, what percentage of local couples met at such are you aware of?

Anything else interesting you can think of.   

Not asking for precision or documentation. Figure a lot of guesstimates will be involved. And of course no right or wrong answers. Figure there will be lots of variety, even within close to areas. 

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14 minutes ago, Calm said:

Another thread made me curious about how marriage works in places I haven’t been (the vast majority of the world).  Would appreciate people sharing their observations. 

What percentage of members are marrying other members in your area or areas you have been in long enough to observe?

I live in Utah County (Provo), so members marrying other members is very, very common.  This can't really be extrapolated out much, though, except for other heavily-populated-with-Latter-day-Saints locations.

14 minutes ago, Calm said:

How are members who date other members finding other members to date/marry (at various ages)?

  • My parent met at BYU.
  • My oldest brother met his wife in Samoa at a church function.
  • My oldest sister met her husband through a dating website (I think).
  • My other older sister met her husband at a church function.
  • My other older brother met his wife at BYU.
  • I met my wife at BYU.
  • My younger sister met her husband through a dating website.
  • My other younger sister met her husband through a church function.
  • My in-laws met in college in Washington State.
  • My sister-in-law met her husband at Utah State University.
  • My brother-in-law met his wife at BYU-Idaho.
  • My other brother-in-law met his wife when he was on his mission, and then hooked up with her years later.
  • My other sister-in-law met her husband at BYU-Idaho.

So anecdotally, marriages between members (all of the above) arise out of meeting at university, or at church functions, or online.

14 minutes ago, Calm said:

Do the youth and young adults date mainly church members or nonmembers?  

In places where there are enough members to have a pool of potentials, yes.  

14 minutes ago, Calm said:

What about older adults, who are they likely to date?

Again, I live in Utah County.  I know plenty of older singles.  Most really want to date other church members.

14 minutes ago, Calm said:

How many spouses are converted prior to marriage due to their contact with the Church through their future spouse (or how many members are you seeing bringing nonmembers as ‘dates’ to church)?  

This can happen.  I have little personal experience with or observation about it.

14 minutes ago, Calm said:

How often are nonmember spouses converted prior to kids hitting their teens?

Dunno.

14 minutes ago, Calm said:

What percentage of these wards/branches are partmember families?  Is there a significant difference between partmember and both parents members in the activity level of the parent(s) and children? 

Dunno.  I imagine there is a good amount of sociological data on this.

14 minutes ago, Calm said:

Also, if in US or Canada, how many couples in these wards/branches are you aware of having met at any BYU or other church school (May marry after leaving any BYU, but wouldn’t have met if not for BYUs)?

My sense is that schools in and around Utah have *huge* numbers of temple marriages coming out of them.  And are a lot of these at the church-owned schools?  Yes.

My ward is about 2 miles from BYU.  I've lived here 14 years.  I've seen tons of young married couples come and go.  Being a member or having a temple marriage is not guaranty of success.  Those marriages that are working best are those where both parties are both talking the talk and walking the walk.  Orthodoxy and orthopraxy, if you will.  

Thanks,

-Smac

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Our Stake a lot of people move, get married elsewhere, or stay and hope they meet someone here or marry a non member or go inactive. The push to attend BYU isn't as strong as it used to be, some people go but most don't. I remember years ago a lot of Stake leaders were sending their kids off to BYU and in a meeting one was lamenting the Church isn't growing much here and the Mission President said well, don't send all your kids off to BYU then...............Utah doesn't need the kingdom built there it needs it here (paraphrasing of course)

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Not all are made for BYU, or other Colleges,  but most in our Ward, and our Stake go on missions, some even find future husbands or wives there. A number of my friends served their missions here in Georgia, and came back here for work, and then married. One such marriage did not last for more than a few years, ended very badly. In our Ward we have some very strong marriages between members and non-members, some of whom spouses, come almost every Sunday, and are great guys, but don’t join. (Or have not yet) The internet has made it possible for some to meet other Latter-day Saints, Mormons. Although the Church has grown considerably, here in Georgia, it is still a much smaller pool of members compared to many Western States. 

Marriage being the great blessing it is, is still a different union where almost any difference can later become a serious stumbling block. Religion is much bigger factor when children enter the picture, often leading to serious disagreements, about how these children are to be raised and taught. It also becomes a more complicated time as both sets of grandparents, begin trying to teach their grandchildren their own beliefs, or many no belief at all. Over my 40 years, I have seen marriages that seemed very strong, until the disagreements of how children are to be raised comes into play. Anyway, three of my children married members, and were sealed in the Temple. Just my two cents worth, here in the sunny South. 

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LA: few get married and the church is shrinking.

Lots of part member families, and finding an LDS spouse is difficult.

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Posted (edited)

Four of my five married siblings (all sealed) met their future spouse at a church school. The last one is almost as old as me and married late. Met his future wife at a Single Adult function she was hosting and he was the only one to show up.

My mother was approaching old maid at 21 when she married my father. They knew each other growing up in the same ward. Mom also had half ownership in a ski boat with her father and my dad loved to water ski so that may have clinched it.

Edited by The Nehor
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Just a caution to be aware of yet more personal info given away on the internet.  Not a good idea.

Maybe make the info general- the easy way is "I know people who...." etc.   

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5 minutes ago, mfbukowski said:

Just a caution to be aware of yet more personal info given away on the internet.  Not a good idea.

Maybe make the info general- the easy way is "I know people who...." etc.   

Some people have already found me. Not worried. If that can figure out who I am based just on my post here they earned it.

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Posted (edited)
34 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

Some people have already found me. Not worried. If that can figure out who I am based just on my post here they earned it.

I know you know what you are doing, but others, .....  not so much! ;)

Heck with my name on here I am pretty easy to find... 

But is that my REAL name?   BWAAHH  HA AAAA HAAAAA!

 

 

Edited by mfbukowski

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On 8/6/2019 at 9:58 PM, mfbukowski said:

I know you know what you are doing, but others, .....  not so much! ;)

Heck with my name on here I am pretty easy to find... 

But is that my REAL name?   BWAAHH  HA AAAA HAAAAA!

 

 

My real name is so darned generic.   In my county in Washington state there were 4 of my name, first and last, and in one case middle initial.  One of them went to my ward.  There are hundreds in Manhattan -- I checked once, being bored.  I'm effectively anonymous.

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12 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

My real name is so darned generic.   In my county in Washington state there were 4 of my name, first and last, and in one case middle initial.  One of them went to my ward.  There are hundreds in Manhattan -- I checked once, being bored.  I'm effectively anonymous.

Fronzel Stargazer is a surprisingly common name.

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21 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

My real name is so darned generic.   In my county in Washington state there were 4 of my name, first and last, and in one case middle initial.  One of them went to my ward.  There are hundreds in Manhattan -- I checked once, being bored.  I'm effectively anonymous.

Is your name as common as Joe Smith?  You can’t hide!  They will find you! 

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On 8/6/2019 at 7:41 AM, Calm said:

Not asking for precision or documentation. Figure a lot of guesstimates will be involved. And of course no right or wrong answers. Figure there will be lots of variety, even within close to areas. 

What percentage of members are marrying other members in your area or areas you have been in long enough to observe?  upwards of 80%, and of the 20% or so who marry nonmembers upwards of 70% joined soon after marriage.

How are members who date other members finding other members to date/marry (at various ages)?  usually someplace where they can associate with other members.  I met my wife at a Single Adult conference and one of my sons met his wife on a website geared toward members with some type of disability.  By the way my youngest son (member) has osteogenesis imperfeca (brittle bone disease) and his (member) wife has some type of mental disability (which is fairly obvious and which she admits to herself)

How many spouses are converted prior to marriage due to their contact with the Church through their future spouse (or how many members are you seeing bringing nonmembers as ‘dates’ to church)?  around 20% 

What percentage of these wards/branches are partmember families? around 10%, at least of those who usually attend meetings

Is there a significant difference between partmember and both parents members in the activity level of the parent(s) and children? not that I have noticed.  

Also, if in US or Canada, how many couples in these wards/branches are you aware of having met at any BYU or other church school (May marry after leaving any BYU, but wouldn’t have met if not for BYUs)?  around 20%

For areas that had (have if there are any left) church schools outside of US and Canada, what percentage of local couples met at such are you aware of?  None I am or have been aware of

Anything else interesting you can think of.  I've heard about life in Utah and I can't relate to it personally, even though I've had some neighbors who are also members.  I've lived in the Pacific Northwest since becoming a member and haven't traveled out of the country except a little in Canada and while I notice the Church culture when I associate with the Church it doesn't permeate the neighborhoods I have lived in like I've heard it does in Utah. Not very many "Jack" Mormons around here and also not many who know what a "Mormon" (now to be called latter day saint) really is, although most have heard a few stories.  

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1 hour ago, pogi said:

Is your name as common as Joe Smith?  You can’t hide!  They will find you! 

It's more common than that.  Pretty sure, because I've never personally known anyone named Joe Smith, but I've known five people with my name.  Including me, of course.  One of those people attended my ward, in fact.

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25 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

It's more common than that.  Pretty sure, because I've never personally known anyone named Joe Smith, but I've known five people with my name.  Including me, of course.  One of those people attended my ward, in fact.

Ya, I think Joseph Smith killed the name for future generations.  I imagine it was much more common in his day, I mean it doesn’t get more ordinary than Joe Smith.

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