Resentment of the child free

[poptart]

Just saw this and was curious if any of you have noticed  millenial parents being resentful towards the child free.  I've noticed it a bit, considering how selfish we were as a generation I have to admit i'm not that suprised.  Where I work now we have quite a few single millenial parents, a few married.  Big thing I've noticed is the resentment they seem to have towards the child free.  I know a good chunk of the posters here have children, anyone else notice this? 

https://postnewsd2.blogspot.com/2019/07/mom-pens-furious-expletive-laden-rant.html

[pogi]

Being child free by choice is not something we see a whole lot in LDS circles.  We do see a lot of couples who want children but can’t have them however.

[smac97]

17 minutes ago, poptart said:

Just saw this and was curious if any of you have noticed  millenial parents being resentful towards the child free. 

That's pretty weird.  There are all sorts of reasons why someone might not have children with them in a given venue.  That is no basis to publily rant against such a thing.

17 minutes ago, poptart said:

I've noticed it a bit, considering how selfish we were as a generation I have to admit i'm not that suprised. 

Every generation has broad trends and tendencies.  But such stereotypes are not binding on us as individuals.

17 minutes ago, poptart said:

Where I work now we have quite a few single millenial parents, a few married.  Big thing I've noticed is the resentment they seem to have towards the child free.  I know a good chunk of the posters here have children, anyone else notice this? 

https://postnewsd2.blogspot.com/2019/07/mom-pens-furious-expletive-laden-rant.html

The rant is about childless couples at Disney World.  Ironically, the author of the rant is behaving like an entitled and immature person, and is judging others in ignorance.  

Thanks,

-Smac

[poptart]

25 minutes ago, pogi said:

Being child free by choice is not something we see a whole lot in LDS circles.  We do see a lot of couples who want children but can’t have them however.

How about resentment towards the child free?

[poptart]

11 minutes ago, smac97 said:

That's pretty weird.  There are all sorts of reasons why someone might not have children with them in a given venue.  That is no basis to publily rant against such a thing.

Every generation has broad trends and tendencies.  But such stereotypes are not binding on us as individuals.

The rant is about childless couples at Disney World.  Ironically, the author of the rant is behaving like an entitled and immature person, and is judging others in ignorance.  

Thanks,

-Smac

Have to admit, I thought the resentment I saw as a kid was something, blows my mind how people act nowadays towards those they dislike. 

Yeah, I had a chuckle at that.  If I was near disney i'd push for a child free lgbt event.  Lets see em act up, considering the civil rights LGBT people have the lawsuits we could start would be glorious.

[The Nehor]

The irony is that many of the childless who go to Disney parks also endlessly complain about those who bring their children to the parks and how the children ruin their experience. I say we take all these people and put them in a pit and let them kill each other. Nothing of value would be lost.

Also:

[poptart]

Just now, The Nehor said:

The irony is that many of the childless who go to Disney parks also endlessly complain about those who bring their children to the parks and how the children ruin their experience. I say we take all these people and put them in a pit and let them kill each other. Nothing of value would be lost.

Also:

You are one of the reasons why I stick around, you took the words out of my mouth.  I like the idea of selling tickets and putting money on who survives.  Thinking of something that's a combination of the gladiatorial games with a pokemon spin, let the children be used like pokemon.  We could make so much money.

[The Nehor]

I like amusement parks in theory but dislike them in practice. I do not think I will ever go to Florida to go to one.

“I am on vacation and I have decided I want to spend the bulk of it waiting in a line.”

Amusement parks also seem to attract the most horrible people even more then cruises. Yuck.

[poptart]

4 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

I like amusement parks in theory but dislike them in practice. I do not think I will ever go to Florida to go to one.

“I am on vacation and I have decided I want to spend the bulk of it waiting in a line.”

Amusement parks also seem to attract the most horrible people even more then cruises. Yuck.

I'd like to check out Tokyo Disneyland, I somehow doubt they have the same problems the ones here stateside do.

 

[rpn]

I just think that some people think that single adults in child friendly places may be scary.

And since Disney (and similar) cost a whole heck of a lot of money, and are a really huge logistical challenge, and are in crowds, and hot, and waiting, they aren't exactly places in which people feel relaxed and at peace.

Perfect recipe for over reaction, grumpiness, and the like.   Nothing much to do with millennials themselves.   

 

Edited July 29, 2019 by rpn

[The Nehor]

4 minutes ago, rpn said:

I just think that some people think that single adults in child friendly places may be scary.

And since Disney (and similar) cost a whole heck of a lot of money, and are a really huge logistical challenge, and are in crowds, and hot, and waiting, they aren't exactly places in which people feel relaxed and at peace.

Perfect recipe for over reaction, grumpiness, and the like.   Nothing much to do with millennials themselves.   

 

Which leads to the question of why people voluntarily go to “the happiest place on Earth”.

Edited July 29, 2019 by The Nehor

[poptart]

19 minutes ago, rpn said:

I just think that some people think that single adults in child friendly places may be scary.

And since Disney (and similar) cost a whole heck of a lot of money, and are a really huge logistical challenge, and are in crowds, and hot, and waiting, they aren't exactly places in which people feel relaxed and at peace.

Perfect recipe for over reaction, grumpiness, and the like.   Nothing much to do with millennials themselves.   

 

Couldn't agree more.

[Tacenda]

1 hour ago, pogi said:

Being child free by choice is not something we see a whole lot in LDS circles.  We do see a lot of couples who want children but can’t have them however.

I think even LDS feel like the world isn't a safe place to raise a child. I have a very believing niece that didn't want children because of her feelings about the world, but luckily she gave in and now has three, but that is probably going to be it.

There are definitely less children being born, I wonder if it is because of the super poor housing access, and that women have to also work outside of the home to make ends meet, or pay for insurance.

[snowflake]

59 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

Which leads to the question of why people voluntarily go to “the happiest place on Earth”.

LOL, not only voluntarily go but pay big bucks to go.  I went for a day 4 years ago and swore never to return, long lines, hotter than the flames of hades, pay to park, $15 for kids lunches, the rides suck....absolute torture.....Bush gardens is way better....plus free beer!  

[The Nehor]

7 minutes ago, snowflake said:

LOL, not only voluntarily go but pay big bucks to go.  I went for a day 4 years ago and swore never to return, long lines, hotter than the flames of hades, pay to park, $15 for kids lunches, the rides suck....absolute torture.....Bush gardens is way better....plus free beer!  

I like some rides. I go to Six Flags sometimes but only on slower days where lines are not much of a thing.

[poptart]

23 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

I think even LDS feel like the world isn't a safe place to raise a child. I have a very believing niece that didn't want children because of her feelings about the world, but luckily she gave in and now has three, but that is probably going to be it.

There are definitely less children being born, I wonder if it is because of the super poor housing access, and that women have to also work outside of the home to make ends meet, or pay for insurance.

Even the kind of well off people I know who are married are scared.  There are fewer and fewer child friendly places out there, those of us who grew up as latch key kids from lousy families aren't helping.  When you have a generation of people who've just been stepped on most of their lives they're not going to care about the people next to them who have children.  You can argue back and forth but in the end human nature is what it is and well, I think people for the most part have had it with each other and like when I was growing up it's the children who suffer.  People are going to have to decide to be adults again and care for society like we did back when.  Children have to be raised properly vs. given the boot at 18, can't help but think this is a big reason why we have so much elder abuse, they step on their kids and they remember it.  Society has to be cared for again, half the reason why I think we're in this position is ever since the recession people have become increasingly nasty to one another, now that many millenials have kids they're now paying the price for an ever uncivil society, you can't step on people and expect them to be nice once you have children.

[The Nehor]

2 minutes ago, poptart said:

Even the kind of well off people I know who are married are scared.  There are fewer and fewer child friendly places out there, those of us who grew up as latch key kids from lousy families aren't helping.  When you have a generation of people who've just been stepped on most of their lives they're not going to care about the people next to them who have children.  You can argue back and forth but in the end human nature is what it is and well, I think people for the most part have had it with each other and like when I was growing up it's the children who suffer.  People are going to have to decide to be adults again and care for society like we did back when.  Children have to be raised properly vs. given the boot at 18, can't help but think this is a big reason why we have so much elder abuse, they step on their kids and they remember it.  Society has to be cared for again, half the reason why I think we're in this position is ever since the recession people have become increasingly nasty to one another, now that many millenials have kids they're now paying the price for an ever uncivil society, you can't step on people and expect them to be nice once you have children.

I would argue that sometimes raising them properly might involve giving them the boot at some point. 35 year olds working part-time at GameStop while living with parents is not likely to be the result of proper child-rearing.

[Tacenda]

1 hour ago, The Nehor said:

The irony is that many of the childless who go to Disney parks also endlessly complain about those who bring their children to the parks and how the children ruin their experience. I say we take all these people and put them in a pit and let them kill each other. Nothing of value would be lost.

Also:

Hmmm, first the ax being sharpened in the other thread and now the comment in bold. What the heck? Nehor, are you having a bad day. 🤨 😆

Edited July 29, 2019 by Tacenda

[The Nehor]

9 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

Hmmm, first the ax being sharpened in the other thread and now the comment in bold. What the heck? Nehor, are you having a bad day. 🤨 😆

No more then a normal Monday. The axe sharpening was intended to subtly indicate that you have an axe to grind.

[poptart]

28 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

I would argue that sometimes raising them properly might involve giving them the boot at some point. 35 year olds working part-time at GameStop while living with parents is not likely to be the result of proper child-rearing.

I'd argue that should depend on the situation.  Is said 35 year old just coasting through life?  Any long term plans/goals that involve him doing something that pays more?  At the very least, will he take care of his parents when they're older?  That right there would be a good solution to an already difficult set of decisions adult children have to make when their parents grow old.  Especially if said 35 year old comes from a family where the siblings are out and about?  Not only would that save them time, but also they'd probably get a better level of care. 

I'm kind of taking care of family now, half the reason im in school is besides a stable career that gives me mobility I'll never let my mom see the inside of a facility, they're horrible.  Considering the horrible mess my violent drunken father left my brothers are loving me right now.  Think one big reason why i'm all for people sticking together is with the tough times I see coming people really should start putting their differences aside and coming together.  Even if you have someone in the family who's lazy, i'd rather have someone like that around who at least does something constructive around.  At the very least it's better than having to depend on a stranger for non medical help, those guys tend to charge a couple thousand a month on the low end, it's usually a lot more than that.

Edited July 29, 2019 by poptart

[pogi]

4 hours ago, poptart said:

How about resentment towards the child free?

I honestly haven’t met an LDS couple who have chosen a life without children.  Some delay having children, and I haven’t seen any “resentment” per se, but I have seen some unrighteousness judgment.  Child rearing is kind of built into the plan of salvation as an expectation in our religion.  We are taught that it is one of the purposes of coming to earth.

Those who can’t have children in our culture often struggle terribly, partly because of this belief.  If there is any resentment, it usually comes from those who can’t have children.  I know I felt it on occasion when my wife and I were struggling with infertility.  It really, really bothered me when people would say things like, “I am so grateful that Heavenly Father trusts me enough to have these children...”.  I would think, what does that insinuate about me?  A lot of other insensitive things were said, mostly out of good intentions, but people don’t think things through very well and may not be aware of other’s struggles.  To expose my human weakness, I sometimes resented people who I thought were terrible parents and didn’t appreciate the gift they had...

So, I would say most of the resentment in LDS culture is probably opposite of what you describe.  There is probably judgment towards those that chose not to have kids and resentment towards some who do.

Edited July 29, 2019 by pogi

[The Nehor]

2 minutes ago, pogi said:

I honestly haven’t met an LDS couple who have chosen a life without children.  Some delay having children, and I haven’t seen any “resentment” per se, but I have seen some unrighteousness judgment.  Child rearing is kind of built into the plan of salvation as an expectation in our religion.  We are taught that it is one of the purposes of coming to earth.

Those who can’t have children in our culture often struggle terribly, partly because of this belief.  If there is any resentment, it usually comes from those who can’t have children.  I know I felt it on occasion when my wife and I were struggling with infertility.  It really, really bothered me when people would say things like, “I am so grateful that Heavenly Father trusts me enough to have these children...”.  I would think, what does that insinuate about me?  A lot of other insensitive things were said, mostly out of good intentions, but people don’t think things through very well and may not be aware of other’s struggles.

So, I would say most of the resentment in LDS culture is probably opposite of what you describe.  There is probably judgment towards those that chose not to have kids and resentment towards some who do.

Now I want to get up in the next F&T meeting and say something like, “And I am so grateful that God has the wisdom to not trust me with children” and see the reaction. Either that or “I am so blessed that I have been given such reserves of patience and humility that I do not need the experience of raising a child to be perfected so I am off to Hawaii to spend all the money that is not in my childrens’ college funds.” 

[MustardSeed]

I’ll just speak for myself. You didn’t qualify same sex or opposite sex couples but I’ll add my observations, My limited observation is that the DINK (dual income no kids) male same sex marriages in my life are flush with cash.  Are they resented? I don’t know, but it seems their homes are neat, modern, and their lifestyles pretty enviable .  Minus the part that they don’t have children.  I’m crazy about mine:)

Edited July 29, 2019 by MustardSeed

[poptart]

2 hours ago, pogi said:

I honestly haven’t met an LDS couple who have chosen a life without children.  Some delay having children, and I haven’t seen any “resentment” per se, but I have seen some unrighteousness judgment.  Child rearing is kind of built into the plan of salvation as an expectation in our religion.  We are taught that it is one of the purposes of coming to earth.

Those who can’t have children in our culture often struggle terribly, partly because of this belief.  If there is any resentment, it usually comes from those who can’t have children.  I know I felt it on occasion when my wife and I were struggling with infertility.  It really, really bothered me when people would say things like, “I am so grateful that Heavenly Father trusts me enough to have these children...”.  I would think, what does that insinuate about me?  A lot of other insensitive things were said, mostly out of good intentions, but people don’t think things through very well and may not be aware of other’s struggles.  To expose my human weakness, I sometimes resented people who I thought were terrible parents and didn’t appreciate the gift they had...

So, I would say most of the resentment in LDS culture is probably opposite of what you describe.  There is probably judgment towards those that chose not to have kids and resentment towards some who do.

Huh, ok then.  I'd assume they'd not care what I do since i'm a heretical gentile.

35 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

I’ll just speak for myself. You didn’t qualify same sex or opposite sex couples but I’ll add my observations, My limited observation is that the DINK (dual income no kids) male same sex marriages in my life are flush with cash.  Are they resented? I don’t know, but it seems their homes are neat, modern, and their lifestyles pretty enviable .  Minus the part that they don’t have children.  I’m crazy about mine:)

Oh man I second that, most of the male couples I've known were quite well off, also well employed.  Really, I think it's a sad statement of US society that people have to be as competitive and cutthroat as they are.  Little common sense, when you act that nasty you make things difficult for everyone, esp. children.  I've noticed resentment, mostly good old fashioned bigotry and religious fueled spite, often times from people who've lived less than moral lives but now wrap themselves in the cross and feel it's their calling to be a biased, moral mouthpiece. 

Cool, I don't have parental instincts and tbh don't like children as a rule; they annoy me.  I can be tolerant to a point but after about 5 minutes in the store listening to someones brats carry on the way they do nowdays that patience wears off fast.

[poptart]

2 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Now I want to get up in the next F&T meeting and say something like, “And I am so grateful that God has the wisdom to not trust me with children” and see the reaction. Either that or “I am so blessed that I have been given such reserves of patience and humility that I do not need the experience of raising a child to be perfected so I am off to Hawaii to spend all the money that is not in my childrens’ college funds.” 

Lol i'd want to be a fly on the wall.  You could always pull an evangelical and say the lord spoke to you, he needs people to give you money for uh, mission work.  Vid related.