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MustardSeed

What media limits do you place on yourself?

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With so many people cutting out cable and moving to streaming and Netflix, our culture is changing here in the US.  

It seems to me that the eff word is more and more common, which certainly can serve to reduce its offensiveness.  Other words now replace it as the bad ones. But in the past, a certain number of eff words gave a movie an R rating.  Now, most of the Netflix shows I endeavor to try end up qualifying for an R rating. 

When I was younger, I’d just as soon see an R rated movie as steal something.  Today, I feel rather unaffected by language.  I’m uncomfortable with nudity and I hate violence but avoiding either is not easy with modern programming. 

My point is, it’s been a very long time since I have heard discussions on 1. R ratings and 2. Skirt length.  I’m very very glad not to hear these tired (imo) Sunday school lectures any more, I like to implement principles like a grown up. 

I am curious- do more people see R movies than is admitted? Are you comfortable watching R ratings or unrated equivalents in the privacy of your home? 

If you don’t watch R movies or the equivalent, have you ever made an exception and why?

Back in the day I felt entirely fine about watching Schindler’s List. 

Today, I’m in the middle of watching Yellowstone, an Amazon series.  I love it.  That said, it’s pretty inappropriate by Godly standards.  But it’s a sin I’m willing to commit. Great acting and scenery and music.  I’m enthralled.  I love a good series. 

But im unwilling to watch other shows with equal amounts of profanity and violence.  

I’m rambling...

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Posted (edited)

I play it by ear. I have seen a few rated R movies and there are PG-13 movies I will not touch. While I get what the counsel was trying to do I do not think the prophet meant for the MPAA to be the Holy arbiters of what we should view.

I am trying to watch less in general. At one point I was watching 14 TV shows at once on Netflix and just cycling. Down to 5 and I am on the last or second to last season of all but one of them. The other area I try to watch is in games. I play PC and mobile game much less then I used to, one or two times a week and usually only for an hour or two. Some games though go off the deep end.

I mostly go by how games and entertainment make me feel afterwards. If it leaves me inspired or satisfied or content or happy or if I am still wholesomely giggling at it as I run my favorite lines through my head I run with it. If I am angry or dejected or lethargic afterwards or feel spiritually dead I stop.

My favorite shows at the moment are “The Good Place” and “Stranger Things”. I have a few others I want to try and will when I get more shows out of my queue. I am also looking forward to the final season of “Supernatural”. I call that my guilty pleasure. Not because it is morally bad but a lot of it is silly horror and schlocky drama but I find it charming.

Edited by The Nehor
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22 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

With so many people cutting out cable and moving to streaming and Netflix, our culture is changing here in the US.  

It seems to me that the eff word is more and more common, which certainly can serve to reduce its offensiveness.  Other words now replace it as the bad ones. But in the past, a certain number of eff words gave a movie an R rating.  Now, most of the Netflix shows I endeavor to try end up qualifying for an R rating. 

When I was younger, I’d just as soon see an R rated movie as steal something.  Today, I feel rather unaffected by language.  I’m uncomfortable with nudity and I hate violence but avoiding either is not easy with modern programming. 

My point is, it’s been a very long time since I have heard discussions on 1. R ratings and 2. Skirt length.  I’m very very glad not to hear these tired (imo) Sunday school lectures any more, I like to implement principles like a grown up. 

I am curious- do more people see R movies than is admitted? Are you comfortable watching R ratings or unrated equivalents in the privacy of your home? 

If you don’t watch R movies or the equivalent, have you ever made an exception and why?

Back in the day I felt entirely fine about watching Schindler’s List. 

Today, I’m in the middle of watching Yellowstone, an Amazon series.  I love it.  That said, it’s pretty inappropriate by Godly standards.  But it’s a sin I’m willing to commit. Great acting and scenery and music.  I’m enthralled.  I love a good series. 

But im unwilling to watch other shows with equal amounts of profanity and violence.  

I’m rambling...

Not rambling at all! 

You bring up something I've been thinking about too. I hate the eff word, but am much more desensitized when watching a movie. Love going to movies where they rarely use it, if at all. 

Funny you mention Schindler's List. That probably was one of the very few I watched, a long with some war movies. I tend to be pretty selective on the R movies. It has to have a really good moral to the story for me to watch it. Some good ones out there. I'm offended by some PG movies in the same way sometimes. 

I'll have to check out "Yellowstone", since I am paying monthly for Amazon Prime now. 

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I think the R rated movie counsel is about as well taken today as Coke and playing cards.  I think they are all from the same era.  I think the church trusts us more today to use good judgment in our media viewing without restrictions by rating.

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3 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

I hate the eff word, but am much more desensitized when watching a movie.

I cannot hear the phrase “the eff word” without giggling or at least suppressing a giggle and now I want to tell the story and I apologize for the derail.

When I was at a YSA Ward years ago I was at a YSA dance. We had a very straitlaced and good Stake President. We knew he and both his counselors would be there so we set up a plan to scare them..

Between songs when they were all in the cultural hall one of the tallest and most stereotypically masculine athlete guys got up and in a very effeminate voice called out loudly: “I don’t hear the eff word!!!!” The Stake president’s eyes went wide as we waited several seconds.

Everyone threw a limp wrist up and gave a dramatic and drawn out “fah-bu-lous”. We then all grabbed someone of the same gender and went in as if we were going to kiss. Someone videoed him and his counselors with their eyes almost bugging out. I wish I had gotten a copy.

I realize that prank probably falls under unkind mockery of others, possibly cultural appropriation, and almost certainly bad taste but it was one of the most hilarious moments of my life. In fairness it was also almost 20 years ago and we were dumb kids. It also had a positive impact on one girl in our ward who was attracted to other girls. She said later that experience helped her feel like we would not all reject her if we “found out”. She came out and tried to stay chaste but transferred to another school a year later. No idea what happened to her. I hope she found peace and happiness.

It also saved me from an awkward situation as I was planning to ask her out before that. Instead I started dating another friend who then abruptly decided she was going on a mission....the LDS equivalent of “after dating you I have decided I want to be a nun”. Ouch. I wrote her her whole mission but she came home and married my best friend. We are all still close so it worked out. :) 

Sorry, end of derail.

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Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, pogi said:

I think the R rated movie counsel is about as well taken today as Coke and playing cards.  I think they are all from the same era.  I think the church trusts us more today to use good judgment in our media viewing without restrictions by rating.

I mostly agree but I am a cynic and I think it is more that they hope we will use good judgement and not that they trust us to. :vader:

Edited by The Nehor
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i'm more about the genre, so for example i've never seen Stranger Things, Hunger Games, Game of Thrones, Twilight or Elf.I saw Lord of the Rings once or twice but thought it was basically the same as E.T. so i've seen that a few times

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As what I call a TBM, my wife avoids all rated R movies, because she was told to. I do watch some. I don't really care for senseless violence, so don't watch blood and gore movies/horror movies, but I do watch hero movies like the Marvel series. Rated R movies I have made exceptions for are generally movies which I feel have a message, but maybe a few words which earned it a R rating. I am normally not too offended by language. Words mean only what society says they do at the time. However, I get tired of constantly hearing the eff  word or constant GdDs, which actually does bother me some. There is a service which seeks to censor the language if you use it for streaming. Nudity by itself does not particularly  bother me, but that is rare for movies these days. I personally do not consider nudity by itself to be por-graphic - when its aim is to promote arousal, then it is going into the por-graphic realm. The standard is a bed scene between unmarried people. It seems married sx on TV is taboo. Anyway, being that unmarried sx is a sin per the scriptures, I think it is also a sin to partake of viewing it and supporting it. Even in PG movies I sometimes fast forward through these scenes. I recently remember a scene on a series I was streaming which had a lead character, a man, doing it with another man. I remember being is a slight state of shock, although they showed no genitalia - at least before I fast forwarded it. It just seems sx in all aspects has become a rather common theme in modern shows, which I find to be a sad reflection of our society in the United States. Anyway, I think I have covered the 3 main areas which cause an R rating, and how I approach them.

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Already part of that trend...I never have had cable as an adult.   :D 

I do watch R’s and MA’s...IBut i’m picky as to which ones and have moments that i’m more sensitive to what’s going on or grow tired of tolerating the more questionable material. For example i’m planning one day to watch “When they see us,” but can’t right now because of postpartum hormones. I found myself really angry and in a funk from the first episode for about a day. I know it’s the subject, not the cussing that got to me. Usually i do my research, see why it’s rated what it is and decide from there. 

 

 

with luv,

BD

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Had to break up my comment for some reason: 

I also find i can only take so much of the MA/R shows or movies. I can make a couple exceptions at a time, but after a while it starts to get to me a little and i feel “ehh...” like eating too much junk food but for the soul. These shows I especially have to take in chunks and may take long breaks from or only watch while somewhat distracted in another task. Or just stop watching all together.

 

Ratings are fairly arbitrary and R rates are definitely US specific, which is probably why there’s not as much blanket statements and more, “be careful what type of media you take in” sort of message.

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I don't watch R rated movies. It's not that I think that they are all "bad". It's that there are so many things to watch and it just isn't worth my time to see if the R rated ones are ones I actually want to see. 

I know there movies like Schindler's list that people see are good, but I'm pretty sensitive to things like that or realistic violence. 

Our family just went through watching the avenger movies. By the end I could not wait to get over it. The violence there just bored me. I only kept up with it because it was a family activity and was fun to be together.

So if you combine fighting with realism in a lot of R rated movies it isn't going to be something I want to watch so not worth it to me to screen them. Especially when they start adding sex.

Not fond of a lot of swearing. If there is a little bit here and there I can deal with it. More than that - it's not so much that it "bothers" me, but more of "there are SO MANY things I can do so why choose having it in my life when I have a choice?"

Right now I have been watching Madame Secretary and really enjoy it. After this though I'll need something lighter. 

I really don't listen to much music anymore. Pretty much only when I work out. I either have everything quiet (I need less "noise") or I'll put on a book to listen to. 

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Its definitely been much more of a focus the last 5 years, now that I have kids. I feel like I can tune thigs out or understand the context. My kids are so young that I really try and monitor what they watch on TV and also what music they listen to.  

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Thank you for this feedback.  Very helpful in my efforts to know who I am and to trust what I think and feel. 

I think growing up in my era forced some ideas that aren’t really a fit for me and I’m now coming to some clarity regarding what is right and wrong for me.  Bigger picture stuff, spirit of the Law higher level thinking.  I like it. 

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9 minutes ago, BlueDreams said:

Had to break up my comment for some reason: 

I also find i can only take so much of the MA/R shows or movies. I can make a couple exceptions at a time, but after a while it starts to get to me a little and i feel “ehh...” like eating too much junk food but for the soul. These shows I especially have to take in chunks and may take long breaks from or only watch while somewhat distracted in another task. Or just stop watching all together.

 

Ratings are fairly arbitrary and R rates are definitely US specific, which is probably why there’s not as much blanket statements and more, “be careful what type of media you take in” sort of message.

Love how you put that. It sums up perfectly how I feel about it - which is why I pretty much avoid it because my soul gets a little more junk food than I can really handle right now anyway.

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1 minute ago, Nacho2dope said:

Its definitely been much more of a focus the last 5 years, now that I have kids. I feel like I can tune thigs out or understand the context. My kids are so young that I really try and monitor what they watch on TV and also what music they listen to.  

Hu.  Maybe I observe “less focus in recent years” because I recently finished raising kids.

then again, maybe focus has just changed from rated R to avoiding pornography.  Hard to worry about mosquitos when there’s a rattlesnake nearby. 

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Posted (edited)
11 minutes ago, Nacho2dope said:

Its definitely been much more of a focus the last 5 years, now that I have kids. I feel like I can tune thigs out or understand the context. My kids are so young that I really try and monitor what they watch on TV and also what music they listen to.  

One reason I enjoy babysitting my nieces and nephew that live nearby is that it is a good excuse to watch Ninjago and Duck Tales with them. When I was a kid the TV cartoons they made for us were bad. Not necessarily morally but just horrible. I am not talking about technical limitations either. The writing was awful. Now that we have a generation that grew up on children’s cartoons writing them many of them are genuinely funny and entertaining. They also do not force heavy handed moral messages on them anymore which means the messages that are there have more impact on the kids. One way the world is looking up anyways.

Oh, and if you are of my generation and do not mind some expletives check out the GI Joe PSAs that have been redubbed and edited. Brilliant:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=z8K08AcVru0

Edited by The Nehor
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5 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

Hu.  Maybe I observe “less focus in recent years” because I recently finished raising kids.

then again, maybe focus has just changed from rated R to avoiding pornography.  Hard to worry about mosquitos when there’s a rattlesnake nearby. 

My kids will be starting kindergarten this year so I am guessing I have several years of focus and worry ahead of me. 

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3 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

One reason I enjoy babysitting my nieces and nephew that live nearby is that it is a good excuse to watch Ninjago and Duck Tales with them. When I was a kid the TV the cartoons they made for us were bad. Not necessarily morally but just horrible. I am not talking about technical limitations either. The writing was awful. Now that we have a generation that grew up on children’s cartoons writing them many of them are genuinely funny and entertaining. They also do not force moral messages on them anymore which means the messages that are there have more impact on the kids. One way the world is looking up anyways.

Yes, I would agree. We watch a lot of Ninjago and Doc McStuffins in our house!!

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3 minutes ago, Nacho2dope said:

My kids will be starting kindergarten this year so I am guessing I have several years of focus and worry ahead of me. 

I simply cannot say how absolutely relieving it is to be done raising kids 

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8 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

I simply cannot say how absolutely relieving it is to be done raising kids 

🤣 Oh I bet!! Any advise is appreciated!! 

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5 minutes ago, Nacho2dope said:

🤣 Oh I bet!! Any advise is appreciated!! 

I am not a parent but I have been told that the most important thing you can do is to never need sleep again.

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I have always been impressed by this quote from Arthur Henry King (a convert to the church, former BYU professor, and former temple president)

"When we are soaked in the scriptures, we shan't want to look at bad things on our walls or listen to bad music because those things won't fit.  We shall intuitively reject them, just as we shall embrace what is good, because we shall have in our minds a firm and sound sense of what is in good taste."

His essays are available in a book titled "Arm the Children: Faith's Response to a Violent World."

I have found that tried to be more careful in my efforts to follow the Savior's teachings that I have found there are things that "won't fit."  I've found that I don't like much of television drama today, because it seems like it's a mostly about people being mean to one another.  Why would I want to expose myself to more of that?  I love a good murder mystery, but draw the line when they show cruelty or gore, so not much that is being produced anymore.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, MustardSeed said:

I simply cannot say how absolutely relieving it is to be done raising kids 

Yes, now you just get to lay back and let them change your diapers 😉

Edited by pogi

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We use VidAngel → there are several services like this, they work well.  

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8 minutes ago, pogi said:

Yes, now you just get to lay back and let them change your diapers 😉

Haha!! Well I’m only 50,  maybe next year ;)

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