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MustardSeed

Im a critical sinner

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Posted (edited)

I find myself cringing every month as the same 4 people make their way to the podium and take up 70% of the time. Half are dramatic youth. 

I cant bring myself to push my way up because my attitude sucks and it’s the wrong reason to share. 

Is there ever a gentle way for the bishopric to manage such things?  Or maybe more important, a better attitude for me to adopt? 

Edited by MustardSeed

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We have this couple and she drags him up every month and she goes on and on and it's the same thing. The bishopric have talked to her and told her keep it short but  she doesn't listen they do the red button beyond that what can you do? I'd say install a trap door with wolves something like that in the movie Willow

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4 minutes ago, Duncan said:

We have this couple and she drags him up every month and she goes on and on and it's the same thing. The bishopric have talked to her and told her keep it short but  she doesn't listen they do the red button beyond that what can you do? I'd say install a trap door with wolves something like that in the movie Willow

I just can’t imagine myself as a bishop and talking to these young people in particular and asking them to not get up.  It’s really bothering me though.  

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I just remembered I already whined about this here.  Sorry to repeat myself.  I need to go to my room now and think about my attitude. 

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You could conveniently schedule a vacation every fast Sunday.

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1 hour ago, MustardSeed said:

I find myself cringing every month as the same 4 people make their way to the podium and take up 70% of the time. Half are dramatic youth. 

I cant bring myself to push my way up because my attitude sucks and it’s the wrong reason to share. 

Is there ever a gentle way for the bishopric to manage such things?  Or maybe more important, a better attitude for me to adopt? 

Our conducting bishopric member reminds the congregation to keep the testimonies simple and Christ-centered and that has helped quite a bit.

We still have a small (but shrinking) number of people who are still processing that counsel :). I tend to pray for them as they bear testimony, and I believe that helps both them, and me, and the congregation.

Ministering brothers and sisters also have an opportunity here, not only for counsel and instruction, but in helping resolve whatever the root cause might be.

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We did not have enough people. I almost got up despite having no spiritual impulse to do so just to fill time.

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Posted (edited)

So what if they are awful, inappropriate.  Yes there are bishops who ban people from speaking while teaching them to do it appropriately.   It is a pretty sure bet that Heavenly Father hears what their spirits were trying to say but  did so completely inappropriately (and maybe it is just, do you love me as I am).   Take your self off to a different place where you are worshipping God during stuff that bothers you.   Fast for the ability to see these people and situations with the eyes the Savior might use.   And don't think for a minute that the really bad testimony is received any differently by Heavenly Parents than a perfectly spoken and positive one, spoken by a perfectly coifed and patient beautiful person who holds a prominent calling and is dearly loved by many in the congregation.

BTW, IME, the more I talk about things like this, the more I write them down, the more I talk about them, the more harm my spirit feels.   Get yourself a go to alternative so it will have less ability to irritate you.   (Have you ever considered that they are doing it so you can learn patience and acceptance of others, and it won't get any better while you hare still needing to learn the lesson?)

Edited by rpn
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15 minutes ago, rpn said:

So what if they are awful, inappropriate.  Yes there are bishops who ban people from speaking while teaching them to do it appropriately.   It is a pretty sure bet that Heavenly Father hears what their spirits were trying to say but  did so completely inappropriately (and maybe it is just, do you love me as I am).   Take your self off to a different place where you are worshipping God during stuff that bothers you.   Fast for the ability to see these people and situations with the eyes the Savior might use.   And don't think for a minute that the really bad testimony is received any differently by Heavenly Parents than a perfectly spoken and positive one, spoken by a perfectly coifed and patient beautiful person who holds a prominent calling and is dearly loved by many in the congregation.

BTW, IME, the more I talk about things like this, the more I write them down, the more I talk about them, the more harm my spirit feels.   Get yourself a go to alternative so it will have less ability to irritate you.   (Have you ever considered that they are doing it so you can learn patience and acceptance of others, and it won't get any better while you hare still needing to learn the lesson?)

Excellent feedback here. 

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3 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

 Or maybe more important, a better attitude for me to adopt? 

When it happens I try to get up and give a heart-felt testimony of Jesus Christ and the atonement.

One or two on -topic testimonies can change the whole feeling of the meeting.   But our attitude must be to be an example and take control to turn the meeting.

We have a temple president in our Ward and it is amazing how he can, without giving the lesson, make the right comments to turn a boring lesson into a fascinating discussion 

I think we all need to bear some responsibility for the quality of meetings when we are free to open our mouths, as in a class or in a testimony meeting.

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3 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

I just can’t imagine myself as a bishop and talking to these young people in particular and asking them to not get up.  It’s really bothering me though.  

The bishop also has the ability to stand up and lovingly put his arm around the person and say what the spirit dictates- like perhaps, "Thanks for your testimony, would you please tell us about why the atonement is important to you?"

That can help a lot.

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+

Not sure which is worse, the OP style F&T or the Rameumptum style where all say the same thing .

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I haven't gotten up in quite awhile, either because I haven't been moved upon by the Holy Spirit (though I might not recognize if that happened even if He bit me in the ... Well, OK.  You get the idea! :huh:) ... or because, moved upon by the Spirit or no, I can't bring myself to believe that anyone might be in any way edified by my bloviating.  (The bishop threatened a few months ago, when he extended my current calling, to assign me to speak in sacrament meeting, so I've been trying to "keep my powder dry," as the saying goes, but, apparently, I've been doing such an awful job in my calling and/or have offended enough people in the ward in the course of doing it that he hasn't felt inspired to make good on that threat.  ("No, really!  It's OK.  Take your time!" ;) )

Anyway, if I hear a "trying testimony" or a "trying non-testimony," I try to remember that we're all at different places on our spiritual journeys, that even the best testimonies are but feeble attempts to express the truly transcendent in wholly inadequate human language, and that, ultimately, whether I feel the Holy Spirit or not, largely, is up to me.  This might've been the last time I bore my testimony.  (You'll note from the date that it was some time ago):  https://greatgourdini.wordpress.com/2014/01/15/joseph-moroni-me/

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3 hours ago, The Nehor said:

We did not have enough people. I almost got up despite having no spiritual impulse to do so just to fill time.

I almost did that today, but then the stake pres got up (he's a member of our ward) and spoke about a funeral he had attended the day before, and about an important member of our ward who was in extremis in the hospital (I was shocked cause I know and highly respect the guy).  We also had a ten-year-old boy from my Webelos Den get up and bear his testimony in English (he's Brazilian, and only here while his father trains in jet engine mechanics), followed by his father who mostly bore his testimony in Portugese.  Luckily, I didn't need to get up and make a fool of myself.  😎

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It is this way in every ward.  I think the Lord permits it to go on to whip the Saints for their lack of humility.  The more you sit there and nurse a hostility for somebody who stands up every single month, the more you're the one in trouble.  (I do the same thing.)

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14 hours ago, mfbukowski said:

The bishop also has the ability to stand up and lovingly put his arm around the person and say what the spirit dictates- like perhaps, "Thanks for your testimony, would you please tell us about why the atonement is important to you?"

That can help a lot.

Nah, I wouldn't like that one bit, or I would hate to see that happen at the podium. 

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17 hours ago, Duncan said:

We have this couple and she drags him up every month and she goes on and on and it's the same thing. The bishopric have talked to her and told her keep it short but  she doesn't listen they do the red button beyond that what can you do? I'd say install a trap door with wolves something like that in the movie Willow

Remember "The Gong Show"?  That might be an idea.

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16 minutes ago, mnn727 said:

Remember "The Gong Show"?  That might be an idea.

that's an idea! although Arte Johnson just passed away but i'm sure we could get Jamie Farr

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What I feel is anxiety.  The situations I’m uncomfortable with are socially inappropriate podium exercises-

Self awareness is a gift that many lack.  I don’t criticize people their beliefs and expressions of such- but what slays me is social tension. 

I’ve always really struggled with a desire to run out of a room when things are going down that I have zero control over.  

If I were to be 100% vulnerable I’d admit I’ve even tried to control uncomfortable things that occur here.  I’m a work in progress.  

 

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4 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

What I feel is anxiety.  The situations I’m uncomfortable with are socially inappropriate podium exercises-

Self awareness is a gift that many lack.  I don’t criticize people their beliefs and expressions of such- but what slays me is social tension. 

I’ve always really struggled with a desire to run out of a room when things are going down that I have zero control over.  

If I were to be 100% vulnerable I’d admit I’ve even tried to control uncomfortable things that occur here.  I’m a work in progress.  

 

I hate embarrassing situations too.  I have to change the channel when stuff starts getting embarrassing on tv.  I can't handle it, it's so cringey.  

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4 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

What I feel is anxiety.  The situations I’m uncomfortable with are socially inappropriate podium exercises-

Self awareness is a gift that many lack.  I don’t criticize people their beliefs and expressions of such- but what slays me is social tension. 

I’ve always really struggled with a desire to run out of a room when things are going down that I have zero control over.  

If I were to be 100% vulnerable I’d admit I’ve even tried to control uncomfortable things that occur here.  I’m a work in progress.  

 

Some people think they are being authentic when they just say everything they think. Authenticity works best when you also have empathy for your audience. People bearing their testimony often forget that it is not a catharsis session or an opportunity to get something off their chest or to practice public speaking or even to reinforce their beliefs to themselves. They are there to edify others with their testimony. As long as the focus is on themselves the testimony almost always falls flat whatever is said. 

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Posted (edited)

Then there's those few who always wait until the very end and then take the meeting way over time.

Edited by Bernard Gui
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In my Methodist church, we don't have testimonies, as such. But lots of Methodist churches will take prayer requests from the congregation.

My pastor once visited another Methodist church where a guy stood up and said something along the lines of, "Pray for my ex-wife...because, uh, she's basically a crack whore." (Feel free to delete this comment if it's too offensive.) So things can often go a little haywire in worship in any denomination...

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