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Bill “Papa” Lee

Papa is 62 today; My son wants me to deceive my wife. Ladies, what would you do?

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OK, I am 62 years old today. Before the injury that disabled me in May 2012, I have (or had) lived a very full life, visiting so many exotic places in the world. A lifetime of professions, in truly “alpha male” jobs. Serving in the U.S. Army, aboard UH-1 helicopters, saving lives (medivac), repelling from my aircraft and doing so many other wild and exciting activities. Served in law-enforcement in a major U.S. City (Atlanta), with all the “good and bad” such a job brings, from which I retired. I have been in a number of situations in which the Lord, and my Faith have protected me, and preserved me from harm. Even in situations in which I survived and made it home, when others did not serving right next to me. 

I am able to walk with a cane, but the years of demanding professions, combined with injuries, it has taken a toll. A toll on my body, and on my family at times. The thing I was never able to do, was to skydive. I always thought that I might do it one day, but that day did not come be May 2012. My oldest son thinks I should do a tandem jump, like President George H.W. Bush did, at 70-80-90 years of age. When I told him that my wife, (his Mother) would never go for it, it said to me, “Dad, you and I will do it, and show Mom the video of it afterwards”. I reminded him that, “this is not how marriage works, and reminded him that he has a wife also”. 

So...Sisters, “what would you do if your husband did something like this”? I of course would not do so, but now I have two sons telling me, “you’ve earned this”. When I say, “I if course would not do this”, I mean I would not do it without telling my wife. The jumping out of an airplane, I would do it in a “New York minute”!

 

 

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What's the worst that could happen?     Oh..... Ya   

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1 hour ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

So...Sisters, “what would you do if your husband did something like this”? I of course would not do so, but now I have two sons telling me, “you’ve earned this”. When I say, “I if course would not do this”, I mean I would not do it without telling my wife. The jumping out of an airplane, I would do it in a “New York minute”!

Okay, I am not a sister, but it has always baffled me why anyone on the right side of rationality would voluntarily jump out of a perfectly good airplane. 🙄😊 However, considering the slight possibility of something going a bit wrong I think I would tell my wife were I to envision doing something of the sort.  (And a Happy Birthday also. You seem to have had a very full life. Congratulations on that and thanks for the many different professions of service in which you have engaged.)

Glenn

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1 hour ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

OK, I am 62 years old today. Before the injury that disabled me in May 2012, I have (or had) lived a very full life, visiting so many exotic places in the world. A lifetime of professions, in truly “alpha male” jobs. Serving in the U.S. Army, aboard UH-1 helicopters, saving lives (medivac), repelling from my aircraft and doing so many other wild and exciting activities. Served in law-enforcement in a major U.S. City (Atlanta), with all the “good and bad” such a job brings, from which I retired. I have been in a number of situations in which the Lord, and my Faith have protected me, and preserved me from harm. Even in situations in which I survived and made it home, when others did not serving right next to me. 

I am able to walk with a cane, but the years of demanding professions, combined with injuries, it has taken a toll. A toll on my body, and on my family at times. The thing I was never able to do, was to skydive. I always thought that I might do it one day, but that day did not come be May 2012. My oldest son thinks I should do a tandem jump, like President George H.W. Bush did, at 70-80-90 years of age. When I told him that my wife, (his Mother) would never go for it, it said to me, “Dad, you and I will do it, and show Mom the video of it afterwards”. I reminded him that, “this is not how marriage works, and reminded him that he has a wife also”. 

So...Sisters, “what would you do if your husband did something like this”? I of course would not do so, but now I have two sons telling me, “you’ve earned this”. When I say, “I if course would not do this”, I mean I would not do it without telling my wife. The jumping out of an airplane, I would do it in a “New York minute”!

 

 

I won't even let my husband get a motorcycle. Just tell your wife it would mean a lot to you if you could go skydiving and maybe bribe her with something. :D

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You young pup.  I hope you have a great day.  Tell me someone is older than me on this board...I think GG..but that is it.  Have a happy day Papa...gratitude is everything and I am grateful for you and your examples in life that have inspired me.

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Posted (edited)

I have always thought it strange once the kids are grown that one adult gets to tell the other what not to do. OTOH, I think it just wise if one is planning a higher risk event to talk with your spouse about how they feel and take that into account in the decision making. If it was a very fulfilling dream, I would hope fears would be controlled.  If a whim, I would hope it could be set aside without resentment out of love and not wanting to burden your companion unnecessarily.  We do that by necessity more than enough  

My husband loves his motorcycle. After his accident (punctured a lung, broke rib) people were asking me if I would let him ride again.  His choice. I just insist he has good insurance and he knows if he is badly, permanently injured he will likely be put in a care facility since my health will be barely up to taking care of our daughter.  Not a particularly kind way of me looking st it, but when it comes to those kinds of decisions I think practical upfront and then compassionate after the fact is better. 

Edited by Calm
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If I get a diagnosis of Alzheimer's and able to afford it, I'm going to try all the daredevil things I can find, especially the kinds that don't maime but kill. Sorry if that sounds bad. 

But I think that sounds fun, especially to do with your son, I would get your wife on board somehow! And like Calm said, don't hide it, IMO.

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1 hour ago, MorningStar said:

I won't even let my husband get a motorcycle. Just tell your wife it would mean a lot to you if you could go skydiving and maybe bribe her with something. :D

Thankfully, I lived through my motorcycle phase. That was in the Army, when I could not afford a second car. 

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1 hour ago, Jeanne said:

You young pup.  I hope you have a great day.  Tell me someone is older than me on this board...I think GG..but that is it.  Have a happy day Papa...gratitude is everything and I am grateful for you and your examples in life that have inspired me.

It has been a long one so far, my wife had surgery this morning on her shoulder. 

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1 hour ago, Calm said:

I have always thought it strange once the kids are grown that one adult gets to tell the other what not to do. OTOH, I think it just wise if one is planning a higher risk event to talk with your spouse about how they feel and take that into account in the decision making. If it was a very fulfilling dream, I would hope fears would be controlled.  If a whim, I would hope it could be set aside without resentment out of love and not wanting to burden your companion unnecessarily.  We do that by necessity more than enough  

My husband loves his motorcycle. After his accident (punctured a lung, broke rib) people were asking me if I would let him ride again.  His choice. I just insist he has good insurance and he knows if he is badly, permanently injured he will likely be put in a care facility since my health will be barely up to taking care of our daughter.  Not a particularly kind way of me looking st it, but when it comes to those kinds of decisions I think practical upfront and then compassionate after the fact is better. 

We flew support for the Airborne School at Ft. Benning, so I always wanted to do it. I was offered the chance to go, but since I was a SGT, you have to apply and wait for a slot to open. Most who go through are new enlisted men who must complete for their Military Occupation. So, since I did not go when offered, I never got approved. I thought the chance would come again.   

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I vote with your dh (unless your wife has other kinds of trust issues, and you have promised her you wouldn't do it).   I jumped once.  Scardest I've ever been.  Would not do it again.  And it was absoultely unforgettably, wonderful.

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9 hours ago, Tacenda said:

If I get a diagnosis of Alzheimer's and able to afford it, I'm going to try all the daredevil things I can find, especially the kinds that don't maime but kill. Sorry if that sounds bad. 

This is my plan as I get older assuming I am still up for it.

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9 hours ago, The Nehor said:

This is my plan as I get older assuming I am still up for it.

After some research, skydiving or tandem skydiving, is super safe, safer than driving your car. So maybe this is too safe for us Nehor! ;)

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You know Papa, your wife might be looking for something special that she could support you with....you might be surprised and although she would be nervous, it would be a great feeling knowing she helped you to a happy place.  My husband tried it at Lake Point in a day...I found after....so...like ...what I could I do???  If you follow guidelines, I would much rather my husband do this than get a motorcycle...I have almost hit to many of them...!  (embarrassing...but it is true)...can't see the darn things.

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10 hours ago, Tacenda said:

After some research, skydiving or tandem skydiving, is super safe, safer than driving your car. So maybe this is too safe for us Nehor! ;)

Once I hit 75 I will take up skydiving and buy 5 parachutes and 1 backpack that looks like my parachutes. Then I will go diving once a month with a randomly selected parachute. Fun times.

Note that I will not actually do this.

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On 6/1/2019 at 11:17 PM, The Nehor said:

Once I hit 75 I will take up skydiving and buy 5 parachutes and 1 backpack that looks like my parachutes. Then I will go diving once a month with a randomly selected parachute. Fun times.

Note that I will not actually do this.

Speaking of “75”, I watched a news story today about a Veteran who made a jump, in his 90’s. He was was at Normandy Beach, where 30-40% of all soldiers died on the Beach on day one. BTW, you should jump, but not wait that long. If you like, I will bring a nightlight to help us find earth again. That way it will be a night jump, and you won’t see the danger. Game? ☠️

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38 minutes ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

Speaking of “75”, I watched a news story today about a Veteran who made a jump, in his 90’s. He was was at Normandy Beach, where 30-40% of all soldiers died on the Beach on day one. BTW, you should jump, but not wait that long. If you like, I will bring a nightlight to help us find earth again. That way it will be a night jump, and you won’t see the danger. Game? ☠️

Would love to but can not afford it right now. Odds are I will be unemployed in the next six months. I have an emergency fund but I need to save more just in case.

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6 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Would love to but can not afford it right now. Odds are I will be unemployed in the next six months. I have an emergency fund but I need to save more just in case.

Good point, eating is far more important that falling out of an aircraft; go figure? Let us know if we can help, even job referrals. 

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It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.  And should the occasion arise  that you're not here to ask forgiveness, oh well!

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3 hours ago, mrmarklin said:

It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission.  And should the occasion arise  that you're not here to ask forgiveness, oh well!

Sure it is easier...but the question that is most important is how much easier would it be for his wife to give permission than forgiveness.

I am not sure I could ever truly forgive my husband for taking such a risk without giving me and his son and daughter a chance say goodbye as well as to discuss with him what to do if something went wrong, get his passwords, who he works with for investments, what bills need to be paid, etc...and this is if he came back perfectly sound.  If he didn't, besides living with fear (that it would happen again) and resentment (that as was treated as ifvI didn't matter as much as him having fun in his life) I would be living with anger he shafted us so badly.

There is just something so wrong about knowingly going out the door on a higher than usual risk for fun and not letting your loved ones have a chance to tell you they love and care about you.

But if your fun is more important to you than your relationship, then go for it.  It is probably a good thing for your spouse to find out just how little you care about them.

Edited by Calm

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On 5/31/2019 at 9:56 PM, Calm said:

As far as not telling your wife. I would be furious myself if my husband did that and my ability to trust plummet. That is treating me like a child and I didn’t get married so I could have another dad, thank you very much. 

Me too. I would actually be very supportive of him going if it was something he really wanted to do, but going behind my back in such a high risk adventure - that is not something I would quickly get over.

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