No back up plan, but thankfully a doctor who dared to remind me.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

I have spent most of my life in very alpha male professions, it first began in High Rise construction. Then with almost a decade in the Army, flying aboard helicopters. I served in on primarily mundane functions, visible boarder missions, when East and West Germany were divided, before Germany was reunited (wow, that was 38-42 years ago). Cold weather training in Alaska, which was very dangerous in the event, that minor mistakes could leave us both injured and freezing to death. But the most rewarding service was aboard medivac helicopters. BTW, served in the came company, that had to go to Jonestown to retrieve the bodies of all of Jim Jones cult and the mass suicide (thankfully, before I was stationed there). Despite serving in peacetime, we took on very dangerous missions. When we flew for both “Ranger Training, or Airborne Training” support missions we had to take serious risks. Many times using our onboard crane to reach and retrieve those who landed in trees, or who while bouncing off the limbs, made it all the way to the earth. Repelling also from aircraft, which even though on missions, or being connected to a harness, flying 50-100 feet below the aircraft, was a rush! The cranes were equipped with a small explosive charge, so in the event while in a recuse attempt, if something went wrong, which threatened the aircraft, and all on board, the cable could be cut, leaving both falling again. We also did civilian support missions for car accidents, flying to VA hospitals in Augusta, GA, so that a soldier could go home to die. The best was flying to small towns, after picking up nurses and incubators for premature birth babies, taking them to pediatric hospitals in Atlanta (my home town). I was the crew chief, and often flew missions with a friend, who was a (the) medic for the mission, and a member of my Bishopric. We would often cut off the communication with the pilots, lay our hands upon the incubator, and give the baby a blessing. The nurses were amazed, as they could hear, and very moved at the whole thing. Of course that was when the Church had pamphlets, and when they asked we could give them one.  We would often land in a field, or a town or schools baseball field to get the child, where members of the community would come out and bring food for us, unfortunately for me always “sweet tea”, after all it was Georgia or Alabama that we picked up these babies. 

I don’t wish to make this too long, but during all of these wonderful missions, things do go wrong. On the way back from Alaska, the Air Force jet we were on had to make an emergency landing at McCord Air Force base in Washington State. The nose-gear would not lock in place, that was “not” a rush, as I had not seen my family for months and wanted to see them again. An I was on for a mission, had to make and emergency landing in a field in the middle of nowhere, during a very, very, dark night, using hastily strapped on night vision goggles. Also, my aircraft crashed, almost killing all on board, due to engine failure. 

Then I took a job at in law-enforcement, where a number of things happened, which of course is (or was) typical. Once while answering a call at a construction site, something unrelated happened, someone had stolen a truck from someone, and the victim gave chase. I was on one side of a large dumpster talking to someone, when the thieves and the owner got into a gun fight just 20 yards away. Bullets were hitting the dumpster, everyone was ducking and running, as they were telling me to duck, but my job was to try and stop it, when I passed the end of the dumpster, the chase began again.  Many other things have happened as well, while serving “Bench Warrants”, many close calls. Once a sister in my old Ward, called her Home Teachers, of course it was a close friend of mine and myself. When we pulled up, she thought it was her husband who had threatened to kill her, so she began screaming, which is why she called. When we stepped out of the truck, a man who lived in the other duplex, who was a night watchman (in shot thought he was Rambo) put a .38 right against my forehead, fully cocked. 

Other things have happened, the more recent is when my wife found me unresponsive, and barely breathing. Our closest hospital had not idea why, and told my wife to call in my family. Finally they discovered that I was bleeding to death internally for an ulcer. They got my to a hospital, where I had to have surgery, but even then it was bad. My Bishopric was called, gave me a blessing, within an hour I was sitting up talking to my family and watching TV.

Simply put, I never even expected to still be here. I had no interest in dying, I just did not see myself being here this long. My injuries and my line(s) of work have never been a desire to not be here for my family, it is just hard to “find my place”, since my limitations are just that, “limits”. While telling my Doctor this after another serious fall, and broken ribs. My Doctor asked me, “why did you wait two weeks to come in? My reply was typical, that “I have been through much worse”. His reply was shocking, he told me “Bill, I know you are a tough guy, but you are so much more than what you did to take care of your family. Believe me, if I were in trouble, you would be one of the first people I would want to see, and if I were the source of that trouble, the last”. He goes on to say, “I know your wife, most of your children, and seen pictures or met many of your grandchildren, for them, and most certainly your grandchildren, you personally hung the moon and the stars just for them”. He then says, “wait a minute”, he goes out and brings my wife, and my youngest granddaughter, whom we watch while both parents work (she will be one year old May 26). My granddaughter is in strapped in her stroller, when she comes in, when he says...”did you see that”? Of course, I replied, “did I see what”? Then come the embarrassing and very direst comment, “if she were not strapped, she would have dove face first into this floor to get to you, I know because you tried to catch her just Incase your wife had not t strapped her”! 

In short, and this post is indeed not short. What to do, when your years outlive your plans? I ask this, not in jest, but sincerely. 

As always, forgive ny misspelling, as it is with difficulty that I post almost everything. 

Joesph Campbell once wrote, (this is from memory)

”We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, as to live the life we are living (or have)”      

[Glenn101]

On 5/9/2019 at 4:02 PM, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

Joesph Campbell once wrote, (this is from memory)

”We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, as to live the life we are living (or have)”   

Is that sort of like saying that those who lose their life will find it?

You seem to have lived your life for others and I believe that is what the gospel is about. Sometimes that can become seemingly overwhelming, but I also the rewards in this life (such as that young grandchild's love) and the next, whatever they may be, are worth it. I salute you.

Glenn

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

2 hours ago, Glenn101 said:

Is that sort of like saying that those who lose their life will find it?

You seem to have lived your life for others and I believe that is what the gospel is about. Sometimes that can become seemingly overwhelming, but I also the rewards in this life (such as that young grandchild's love) and the next, whatever they may be, are worth it. I salute you.

Glenn

Thank you for reminding me of the rewards of family, it is all that keeps trying to be engaged in life. Sadly my years and occupations have taken a difficult toll on my body. My back was injured (broken in three places) on May 21, 2012, and I have not been able to work again. The teenager who hit us, not only broke my back, but my wife was pinned in our truck, she was driving. It happened so quickly, I did not even know I was injured that badly, so despite the three disks broken, I tried pulling the door open to let her open. When that did not work, I crawled in from the passenger side, hooked my arms under her’s and pulled her out to safety. Once the rush was over, and she was free, I collapsed into the street, causing a much greater injury. I miss being out, as in traveling more, and I miss work, a lot. Thankfully, I made a lot of good decisions, and we have the money to meet our needs. But over the last few months I have taken two serious falls, this latest where I broke another two ribs. 

My Doctor was trying to remind me of what really matters, and telling me that, “your silly pride is keeping you from using a cane or a walker”! He then told me, “I know that your wife Pam will take care of you no matter what”. He continues “I tell you this, because you have no right to make it harder for her care for you, just because you think having someone assist you is (in your mind) beneath you”. Needless to say my wife was in tears, and I was throughly shamed by his remarks. My son’s are already doing a remodel on our bathroom to make it handicap ready, with rails, low step in shower, etc. My oldest is paying for all of the remodeling, in large part, with the others pitching in. Next they will work on a wheelchair ramp, even though I am not in a wheelchair yet, but they worry about our steps. I have a wonderful family, all 19 now...I am, a wealthy (not money) and blessed man. I am loved by them all, and I love them all...but, I do fear what the future brings via my mobility, it already causes me to be depressed at times. I have always gaged my value to what I should do working, and too often have gaged my value by that work, which makes it difficult to know my place in the world, now? 

[Glenn101]

2 hours ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

 I have always gaged my value to what I should do working, and too often have gaged my value by that work, which makes it difficult to know my place in the world, now? 

You have been through a lot of tough stretches in your life and I really cannot fathom how you have been able to stay with it physically and emotionally. I understand how you feel about the work ethic as a gauge of one's worth, but is that the way we should look at it? Does not life have intrinsic value in and of itself? Does not that child born without the capability of ever taking care of him or herself have as great a value as the person that is capable and works all of his or her life? I remember the words of Christ to his newly called Apostles (and to all of us) In Matthew 10:

29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.

30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.

Look at the value that you add to the lives of others by the love you give and receive. Please do not beat yourself up over this. I know it is tough on you, but I really cannot imagine how tough. But I believe that you are a really wonderful person and that the Lord is on your side.

Glenn

[bsjkki]

Humbling stories. Thank you for sharing!