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MorningStar

Is President Nelson Saying What I Think He Is?

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A friend just called and asked if I had read the Priesthood Session talk from President Nelson and then this quote jumped out at me.

Quote

If you have a need to repent because of the way you have treated the women closest to you, begin now. And remember that it is your responsibility to help the women in your life receive the blessings that derive from living the Lord’s law of chastity. Never be the reason that a woman is unable to receive her temple blessings.

Is he saying if you mistreat your wife and she cheats on you, it's your fault? Trying to remember if I've ever heard anything similar from a prophet. Years ago when a friend was being ignored by her husband, her stake president asked her, "Does your husband date you?" She said no and he answered, "If he doesn't, someone else will." She was horrified, but not that long later she ended up getting romantically involved with a co-worker (kissing). That ended up being a big wake up call for her husband and thankfully things are better now, but she still feels terrible about it.

I'm sure there are many women and men in the church who feel neglected or like their marriage is one sided. 

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I remember an Area 70 say once in stake conference that some of the loneliest people he knew are all married

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Just now, Duncan said:

I remember an Area 70 say once in stake conference that some of the loneliest people he knew are all married

It is heartbreaking to see this for my friends and relatives.  They are committed, so they aren't going looking and therefore are living solitary lives because their spouses have withdrawn from them.

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Posted (edited)
18 minutes ago, MorningStar said:

A friend just called and asked if I had read the Priesthood Session talk from President Nelson and then this quote jumped out at me.

Is he saying if you mistreat your wife and she cheats on you, it's your fault? Trying to remember if I've ever heard anything similar from a prophet. Years ago when a friend was being ignored by her husband, her stake president asked her, "Does your husband date you?" She said no and he answered, "If he doesn't, someone else will." She was horrified, but not that long later she ended up getting romantically involved with a co-worker (kissing). That ended up being a big wake up call for her husband and thankfully things are better now, but she still feels terrible about it.

I'm sure there are many women and men in the church who feel neglected or like their marriage is one sided. 

.It could also prevent a woman from being sealed from a spouse or parents while alive if there wasn't a temple marriage (converts perhaps).  Otherwise I don't see how even an abuser could prevent a woman from getting blessings since it is her worthiness that matters for her personal endowment.  If she gave into pressure before marriage, she can repent.  If abused, she is a victim and not blocked ( unless her leader is a real jerk and teaching false doctrine).

All this can apply to men in women's lives as well or anyone really (brothers as well as sisters, sons as well as daughters, etc.), so the counsel...if I am understanding it...is useful for everyone.

Now being an obstacle for someone's faith...I think of temple marriage gone bad or leaders who abused others, how hard must it be at times to maintain faith that temple sealings have value or leaders in general are inspired.

Edited by Calm

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All talks are online now, though I think reading and listening is best to understand (and also if I was Hamba wouldn't want to read or watch online and then get it again at Church).

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2019/04/36nelson?lang=eng

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37 minutes ago, MorningStar said:

A friend just called and asked if I had read the Priesthood Session talk from President Nelson and then this quote jumped out at me.

Is he saying if you mistreat your wife and she cheats on you, it's your fault? Trying to remember if I've ever heard anything similar from a prophet. Years ago when a friend was being ignored by her husband, her stake president asked her, "Does your husband date you?" She said no and he answered, "If he doesn't, someone else will." She was horrified, but not that long later she ended up getting romantically involved with a co-worker (kissing). That ended up being a big wake up call for her husband and thankfully things are better now, but she still feels terrible about it.

I'm sure there are many women and men in the church who feel neglected or like their marriage is one sided. 

It is focused on neglect given context:

Quote

Months ago, I received a heartbreaking letter from a dear sister. She wrote: “[My daughters and I] feel we are in fierce competition for our husbands’ and sons’ undivided attention, with 24/7 sports updates, video games, stock market updates, [and] endless analyzing and watching of games of every [conceivable] sport. It feels like we’re losing our front-row seats with our husbands and sons because of their permanent front-row seats with [sports and games].”16

Brethren, your first and foremost duty as a bearer of the priesthood is to love and care for your wife. Become one with her. Be her partner. Make it easy for her to want to be yours. No other interest in life should take priority over building an eternal relationship with her. Nothing on TV, a mobile device, or a computer is more important than her well-being. Take an inventory of how you spend your time and where you devote your energy. That will tell you where your heart is. Pray to have your heart attuned to your wife’s heart. Seek to bring her joy. Seek her counsel, and listen. Her input will improve your output.

If you have a need to repent because of the way you have treated the women closest to you, begin now. And remember that it is yourresponsibility to help the women in your life receive the blessings that derive from living the Lord’s law of chastity. Never be the reason that a woman is unable to receive her temple blessings.

 

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I took it to mean that if the husband is not temple worthy, his spouse cannot receive all the blessing associated with the temple. This would include reaching the highest level of the C. Kingdom because her spouse was was not worthy enough to achieve it. Hence she will not be with her spouse in the C. Kingdom. This reasoning seems pretty niche, as I understand that she would probably have an opportunity after the resurrection to find someone who is worthy.

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Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, filovirus said:

I took it to mean that if the husband is not temple worthy, his spouse cannot receive all the blessing associated with the temple. This would include reaching the highest level of the C. Kingdom because her spouse was was not worthy enough to achieve it. Hence she will not be with her spouse in the C. Kingdom. This reasoning seems pretty niche, as I understand that she would probably have an opportunity after the resurrection to find someone who is worthy.

Yes, it could only apply to mortality.

Otoh, we can all create obstacles to others' growth by not reaching out, loving and supporting them.  This is especially true when it comes to marriage or a parent for a child as there is an interdependent relationship there, impacting them every day of their lives....probably even if they end up,walking away from it.

Edited by Calm

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That is an interesting quote.  Not entirely sure what he means.

Nobody can be the reason somebody else violates the law of chastity.  I suppose someone could miss out on a temple blessing if they don't have a worthy companion, but that's not the same thing.

I don't believe for a second that if my wife cheated on me that I'd be the guilty one.  If we can't say the devil made me do it, we can't say it's my spouse's fault either.

Although Brigham did have interesting things to say to husbands who mistreated a wife to get them to leave.

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I think that line was well crafted. Could apply to someone who is married or who is dating or anyone with a daughter or sister and probably more.

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Maybe he meant not to give her six onties of silver to deny the existence of a Supreme Being.

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1 minute ago, The Nehor said:

I think that line was well crafted. Could apply to someone who is married or who is dating or anyone with a daughter or sister and probably more.

Oh, that makes more sense.  A couple dating or courting would definitely fall under that injunction.  The way he phrased it "women closest to you" and the OP had me thinking spouse.

It makes more sense if he means pre-marriage.

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1 minute ago, CV75 said:

Maybe he meant not to give her six onties of silver to deny the existence of a Supreme Being.

Not sure how that relates to chastity unless..........is that what the kids are calling it these days?

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Just here to say that I assumed from the get go he was referring to dating. 

Then again, lots of married swingers out there, more than most know. 

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31 minutes ago, JLHPROF said:

Nobody can be the reason somebody else violates the law of chastity.

Perhaps not, but one can certainly be the occasion for violating the law of chastity, and one can also be the enticement. Seduction, manipulation and encouragement are real things. Intentionally or carelessly making choices that open doors of possibility is as well.

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13 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

I think it also applies to a spouse. Failing to cherish your wife or demean or to make her feel unappreciated would be several ways to give encouragement to break the law of chastity.

Perhaps, but it wouldn't make you the reason she couldn't receive her temple blessings.  Just a potentially contributing influence.

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3 minutes ago, Hamba Tuhan said:

Perhaps not, but one can certainly be the occasion for violating the law of chastity, and one can also be the enticement. Seduction, manipulation and encouragement are real things. Intentionally or carelessly making choices that open doors of possibility is as well.

Absolutely.  I don't think I could seduce my wife into breaking the law of chastity with only me.  ;)

 

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I read that as saying that it is a righteous man's responsibility to make sure he is not involved in another's struggle with keeping the law of chastity.   (And when I heard it I thought it was repudiation of the girls mustn't wear sleeveless dresses or are somehow responsible for preventing boys from doing bad things.)

But I supposed it could also be read to say righteous men must live lives that give their wifes what they need for a full and righteous life --- specifically turning to others in search of something.

No, I don't think that it is a man's fault if a wife cheats, any more than it is a wife's fault if a man cheats.   I think it is all about women caring more directly and unselfishly for the women they have married.

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1 hour ago, filovirus said:

as I understand that she would probably have an opportunity after the resurrection to find someone who is worthy.

I spend a lot of time being wrong about things.  I have also been told that there will be no marriages performed after the resurrection.  Anyone else can help out an old man (me), am I out to sea???

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2 hours ago, MorningStar said:

A friend just called and asked if I had read the Priesthood Session talk from President Nelson and then this quote jumped out at me.

Is he saying if you mistreat your wife and she cheats on you, it's your fault? Trying to remember if I've ever heard anything similar from a prophet. Years ago when a friend was being ignored by her husband, her stake president asked her, "Does your husband date you?" She said no and he answered, "If he doesn't, someone else will." She was horrified, but not that long later she ended up getting romantically involved with a co-worker (kissing). That ended up being a big wake up call for her husband and thankfully things are better now, but she still feels terrible about it.

I'm sure there are many women and men in the church who feel neglected or like their marriage is one sided. 

My thought is that Fathers as head of households are held accountable, as are parents for their children when settling bad examples. Scripture gives ominous warnings of those who not teach the Gospel to children, and for those being bad examples. My take anyway. 

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40 minutes ago, Metis_LDS said:

I spend a lot of time being wrong about things.  I have also been told that there will be no marriages performed after the resurrection.  Anyone else can help out an old man (me), am I out to sea???

There is a time between death and resurrection. Lots of time suggested by many. 

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, MorningStar said:

A friend just called and asked if I had read the Priesthood Session talk from President Nelson and then this quote jumped out at me.

Is he saying if you mistreat your wife and she cheats on you, it's your fault? Trying to remember if I've ever heard anything similar from a prophet. Years ago when a friend was being ignored by her husband, her stake president asked her, "Does your husband date you?" She said no and he answered, "If he doesn't, someone else will." She was horrified, but not that long later she ended up getting romantically involved with a co-worker (kissing). That ended up being a big wake up call for her husband and thankfully things are better now, but she still feels terrible about it.

I'm sure there are many women and men in the church who feel neglected or like their marriage is one sided. 

The quote that you referenced doesn't mention wife/wives just women closest to you. And it centered on not letting those women lose their chastity because of the men's actions. I c/p the quote below:

"If you have a need to repent because of the way you have treated the women closest to you, begin now. And remember that it is your responsibility to help the women in your life receive the blessings that derive from living the Lord’s law of chastity. Never be the reason that a woman is unable to receive her temple blessings."

Me: I'll have to read the whole talk, but by reading the quote it doesn't appear to mean wives. 

And a sidenote, my two single sons who are 21 and 26 like to play Fort Nite with their married friends, sometimes nightly. I feel for their friends' wives. One of the wives gets upset too, and the other wife is fine with it. But if I were them I'd be pretty teed off. 

If the talk mentions neglecting wives, then I know two of their friends went to the PH session and hopefully got a clue. 

Edited by Tacenda

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