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How to hire Missionaries to come to your home....

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In August 2013, my son Alan had been invited to church by Abby, a girl from his school, and he asked me if we could go on Wednesday night.  Not being much for any specific religious sect (I despised them all equally), I reluctantly agreed and asked him what Church.   I knew I had a couple of Mormons way back up the Family tree, but I didn't know much about them otherwise.  But I didn't really object, and I went mainly to get a look at the type of girls my son liked (When I saw this one, the phrase "swinging for the fence" came to my mind).  That was on 8/21/13; I got a copy of the Book of Mormon and took it home to read.

By Saturday night, I'd read enough to be absolutely fascinated, but found a lot of terminology hard to understand.  So on Sonday I took my whole Family to see if we could find someone to give us more information.  Out in the hall, I collared two young men with badges declaring them to be "Elder George" and "Elder Zerkle".  They didn't look very elderly to me, but I decided to play along; I asked them if they would mind stopping by our house sometime and explaining some passages in the Book of Mormon to me and my family.

There were 25-30 people standing in the hallway chatting, waiting for Sacrament service to start, and they all went instantly silent from shock.  It was like those old EF Hutton commercials, "When EF Hutton talks..."  I thought maybe I had overstepped some sort of doctrinal boundary, so I offered to pay them for their time and gas if they would only come over and answer my questions.  A brother Kronk saw the look on my face, clapped me on the back, laughed and informed me that the process usually worked the other way around.  "The missionaries usually go out to people's homes and tried to get them to come to Church.  We're not really used to people coming into the Church and trying to get the Missionaries to visit their homes."

Before service, another fellow introduced himself as "the bishop" (emphasis on the lower case - a VERY low-key individual) and asked me what I did for a living.  I had been to a lot of churches, and introductions to the big shot were inevitably followed by admonitions to come back, get saved, put more money in the plate, etc.  Not this guy; he really wanted to know about me and my Family.  When I told him I was an engineer, I found out that he was also and had used a tool which I had designed.  We stood there blocking traffic and talked engineering while the rest of the congregation flowed around us.  My Wife joked later, "You need to stay away from that guy.  When you get together with another one of you, it's like throwing gasoline on a flame.  Trying to get either of you back into the real world is nearly impossible."

That was the OKC 5th ward's introduction to the Judd family.  Over the next 94 days, I put those Missionaries as well as Thompson through a litany of trials and tribulations, ending (or maybe beginning) with myself, my Wife, my Son and my Daughter being Baptized, one-right-after-another, on 11/23/13.

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😀

I'm curious what took you designed. My husband is an EE.

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Perhaps we are related.

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Awesome story!

  • Like 1

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We've got a bunch of good stories.  Best thing about ours is they all have multiple witnesses.  :)  You wanna hear about:

1.  McD's breakfast for Fast Sonday before Church....

2.  How to make Missionaries behave in Church...

3.  Missionaries determining sheep gender...

4.  Loading ramps appearing in road when requested (kinda creepy, this one)...

5.  Where to go to buy some "Book of Mormons" to give to Mormon kids....

6.  You folks call it a miracle....we just call it 'Tuesday'....

Got those and couple hundred more.  Just lemme know.

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I vote for sheep gender and loading ramps...

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22 hours ago, oklds said:

In August 2013, my son Alan had been invited to church by Abby, a girl from his school, and he asked me if we could go on Wednesday night.  Not being much for any specific religious sect (I despised them all equally), I reluctantly agreed and asked him what Church.   I knew I had a couple of Mormons way back up the Family tree, but I didn't know much about them otherwise.  But I didn't really object, and I went mainly to get a look at the type of girls my son liked (When I saw this one, the phrase "swinging for the fence" came to my mind).  That was on 8/21/13; I got a copy of the Book of Mormon and took it home to read.

By Saturday night, I'd read enough to be absolutely fascinated, but found a lot of terminology hard to understand.  So on Sonday I took my whole Family to see if we could find someone to give us more information.  Out in the hall, I collared two young men with badges declaring them to be "Elder George" and "Elder Zerkle".  They didn't look very elderly to me, but I decided to play along; I asked them if they would mind stopping by our house sometime and explaining some passages in the Book of Mormon to me and my family.

There were 25-30 people standing in the hallway chatting, waiting for Sacrament service to start, and they all went instantly silent from shock.  It was like those old EF Hutton commercials, "When EF Hutton talks..."  I thought maybe I had overstepped some sort of doctrinal boundary, so I offered to pay them for their time and gas if they would only come over and answer my questions.  A brother Kronk saw the look on my face, clapped me on the back, laughed and informed me that the process usually worked the other way around.  "The missionaries usually go out to people's homes and tried to get them to come to Church.  We're not really used to people coming into the Church and trying to get the Missionaries to visit their homes."

Before service, another fellow introduced himself as "the bishop" (emphasis on the lower case - a VERY low-key individual) and asked me what I did for a living.  I had been to a lot of churches, and introductions to the big shot were inevitably followed by admonitions to come back, get saved, put more money in the plate, etc.  Not this guy; he really wanted to know about me and my Family.  When I told him I was an engineer, I found out that he was also and had used a tool which I had designed.  We stood there blocking traffic and talked engineering while the rest of the congregation flowed around us.  My Wife joked later, "You need to stay away from that guy.  When you get together with another one of you, it's like throwing gasoline on a flame.  Trying to get either of you back into the real world is nearly impossible."

That was the OKC 5th ward's introduction to the Judd family.  Over the next 94 days, I put those Missionaries as well as Thompson through a litany of trials and tribulations, ending (or maybe beginning) with myself, my Wife, my Son and my Daughter being Baptized, one-right-after-another, on 11/23/13.

Fun story!

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Your number one reminded me of a Sunday school teacher that I had when I was around 12-13 who would take us to the grocery store to buy donuts on fast Sunday during Sunday school time.  Good times. :lol:

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Love your story.  Anyone from Oklahoma is OK by me!  😄

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On 2/21/2019 at 11:53 PM, Judd said:

Perhaps we are related.

Is that a statement of worry, as is, "Oh, my Lord I this I might be related t this nut.", or "Geee maybe we oughta stop by for a barbeque some Sonday ans get to know each other."

There are you from?  What's your Family line?  Mine comes from Zadok K. Judd (I'm pretty sure), so if you're from Utah, you're probably right.  Give me a call anyway.  Most of us Judd's are either in-laws or outlaws - not much in between.  Anyway, I like to talk to 'em.  Plus, I'm always looking fotr more Judds I can trust to help with this artifact project, the "Judd Mormon Deep-Hole Adventure.  I'll pm my number.   My email is [email protected]

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On 2/22/2019 at 5:04 PM, Calm said:

I vote for sheep gender and loading ramps...

That story comes from a day when we had been in Church about 20 months.  I had mentioned that we had some ewes we could not figure our were pregnant or not, as they were so fat..  6 Missionaries came by on a on Saturday and one of them said he had farm experience.  The ram and one ewe were standing facing away from us.  He looked us all right in the eye and asked, "So, which one do you think might be pregnant?"

Are all just looked at him and shook our heads.  Again 7 other witnesses, but I won't mention this kid's name again,  I think he's had enough....

I notice he's since had kids of his own, so he must have figured it out - maybe he had help from his wife.

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So, the first couple of weeks, in order to keep myself entertained, I'd tell the Missionaries a could of slightly off-color jokes ("What's the difference between Hilary Cinton and the Panama Canal?") and get them giggling just before Sacrament meeting.  I, of course, kept a straight face throughout.  Every couple of minutes I'd repeat aline from the joke under my breath, and they'd start giggling again.

I noticed Bishop Warlow glaring at them while I sat, quiet and attentive, trying to set a good example for them to be reverent in Church.  After a few weeks of this, the Bishop called them in to chew them out, and got the truth out of those snitches, "The new guy, Brother Judd, is starting all this."  So, the next time they started laughng (over my 'Bishop-peanut' joke, and the Bishop noticed and started glaring at me.  I disavowed all knowledge of such Sacrilegious behavior, of course, but it was obvious that method of entertaining myself had reached it's 'end of usefulness.'

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On 2/22/2019 at 11:27 AM, rpn said:

Oh, please?!

 

Is that, "Oh, please?!" as in, "This sounds like BS", or, "Post me some more stories!", or, "Why don't you get another hobby..."  LOL

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55 minutes ago, oklds said:

Is that, "Oh, please?!" as in, "This sounds like BS", or, "Post me some more stories!", or, "Why don't you get another hobby..."  LOL

Pretty sure RPN wants more stories, as do I!

Edited by Tacenda

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I knew from childhood that the Judd family had several Mormon ancestors. I had also been told that a couple had been killed because they were members. I didn't pay much attention until I started coming to Church back in the fall of 2013. On Wednesday evenings, my kids would go do youth activities, and I would sit around and chat with the Bishop and a couple of other Church elders. One night, Bishop asked if I had any Mormon ancestors. When I told him yes, named Zadok, the faces of him and the other two elders in his office got real still. He asked me if I knew where they came from. I responded "Carthage around 1830 or so - that's as far back as I know about."

They got really excited. Seems Zadok had been a member of something called the Mormon Battalion. His son, named Lamoni, had been one of the people who was sent to relieve the people from the "handcart company" who were freezing and starving. The relief people showed up with food, blankets, fire, water and so forth.

When the Bishop and the other elders told me of these illustrious ancestors, I responded that I could also prove direct descendancy from Noah himself, but that didn't make me a sailor. I hope I never get to the point where I think these stories somehow make me something special. Those mighty men of God did all those things so that me and my family could find our way to this Church. Whenever any of these minor tribulations come up I have to remember:

1. I never got shot dead in a jail cell for trying to bring God's word to people.

2. I never had to go into a hostile town and retrieve the bodies of a Prophet of God and his brother from murderers.

3. I never walked 900 miles through the snow to go fight Mexicans for a country that wanted me and my family dead.

4. I never got hung under a state-sponsored extermination order.

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My first look at the "Mormon Box"
May 25, 1968 in Oakland, California
[Original email from: 9/28/2013]

The first time I ever remember hearing the word "Mormon" was right after my Grandfather's
funeral. He (Clem Arlis Judd) died in the late 60's when I was around 11.  After the funeral,
a lot of family members seemed to flow through his and step-grandmother's house like locusts,
just grabbing little things that "he would have wanted me to have this."  I remember
Grandmother Nellie just sitting looking rather dazed and frightened while her home was being
looted by these swine.  Most were my Dad's step-siblings.

My Dad was left with only Grandpa's cane and a wooden box about 14" x 20" x 4-5". I remember
there were letters/words carved in the top, as well as some strange characters.  I would like
to be able to remember what those were, but it has been 45 years, almost to the day.  It was my
impression at the time that all the other family members were somehow afraid of this box.

I asked my Dad what was in it (I figured money, candy or toys, in that order), and he took me
out to the garage away from everyone else.  He opened it by setting it on his lap and tipping
the top away from himself.  Under the lid was some sort of animal skin.  I am pretty sure it was
sheep with the wool side down, but it was falling apart from age.  Under that was a 2 to 2.5
inch high stack of papers (parchment).

I saw what looked like cursive script, which I could not read at the angle I was looking from.
It reminded me of nothing so much as those reproductions of the Constitution that everyone had
in their living room and no one actually read.  My Dad just told me that they were very old
family papers which were from, and important to, the Mormons.  I asked him what Mormons were,
but he did not have a good answer, other than that I would get them when he died, and they
were to go to my eldest son when I died.  I had no idea why I'd want to cart around a box of
old papers until I died, so with the simple-mindedness of 11-year-old youth, I lost all
interest in those papers for some 20 years.

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Tell ya what; I just counted up all our stories, and we've got over 200 of these.  From gunfights in a homeless shelter, dirty cops stealing kids, firemen slapping heroes around, how to get thrown off a flight for calling Princess Diana a bimbo on British TV....and wrecking the aircraft emergency door, and a whole lot more.  I'm the only person I know who got deported FROM Mexico - that's a pretty good one.  All true, all have witnesses, and a lot even have Police and arrest reports.  Someday I'll put all this in book form and one of you experts can publish it.  I'll bet we can sell ten, twenty copies, at least.  Maybe thirty if I sign 'em with my real name!  LOL

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38 minutes ago, oklds said:

Tell ya what; I just counted up all our stories, and we've got over 200 of these.  From gunfights in a homeless shelter, dirty cops stealing kids, firemen slapping heroes around, how to get thrown off a flight for calling Princess Diana a bimbo on British TV....and wrecking the aircraft emergency door, and a whole lot more.  I'm the only person I know who got deported FROM Mexico - that's a pretty good one.  All true, all have witnesses, and a lot even have Police and arrest reports.  Someday I'll put all this in book form and one of you experts can publish it.  I'll bet we can sell ten, twenty copies, at least.  Maybe thirty if I sign 'em with my real name!  LOL

Wow, I can't wait to hear about what was written in the wooden box! And I'd love to read what you write when your book comes out! ;) 

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2 hours ago, Tacenda said:

Wow, I can't wait to hear about what was written in the wooden box! And I'd love to read what you write when your book comes out! ;) 

The big question is:  How many people gonna buy a copy?  And how do I get someone to print it? And how do I get someone to get it to the bookstores?  And how do I restore my misspent youth?  And what are the winning lotto numbers for Saturdays drawing?  And how many Valiums do have to take to not care (just kidding)?  And.......

Ya' know, for all of you people the bottom line is, if I die broke, tomorrow, I'll have spent the last 24 years of my life being happy.  Did anyone else ever do something so just plain good, that they KNOW that Heavenly Father is happy and proud of you, and is willing to let you know it, full-blast.  Every time another kid gets 'over-the-top' I get to feel that way.  Maybe 400 times I have walked home from TYA (About 3 miles) in a state of euphoria that no drugs can buy, because I KNOW that Almighty God is somewhere nudging one of His angels, saying, "Hey guys, watch what this Son of mine Daniel does next."

If I could write a book which would make every reader feel that way, I'd do it, and sell em for the cost of a "Thank You," and consider myself well-paid for my life.Don Blevins told me couple years ago that there were  some 400 kids named after me in OK so far.  What a  hell of a burden to put on a poor innocent baby, but at least they ain't gotta look like me.  t's hard for me to get over the Blessings He has bestowed on me and my Family.  Groff says I'm the type of guy where God sits around waiting to see what I'm gonna do next - I do the exact opposite, and hope I can jump in and be a part of whatever He's got up His sleeve for His next project.....

I think the first prepaid order I'd jump into it, but I really doubt anyone wants to hear these ramblings of mine....

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9 hours ago, oklds said:

The big question is:  How many people gonna buy a copy?  And how do I get someone to print it? And how do I get someone to get it to the bookstores?  And how do I restore my misspent youth?  And what are the winning lotto numbers for Saturdays drawing?  And how many Valiums do have to take to not care (just kidding)?  And.......

Ya' know, for all of you people the bottom line is, if I die broke, tomorrow, I'll have spent the last 24 years of my life being happy.  Did anyone else ever do something so just plain good, that they KNOW that Heavenly Father is happy and proud of you, and is willing to let you know it, full-blast.  Every time another kid gets 'over-the-top' I get to feel that way.  Maybe 400 times I have walked home from TYA (About 3 miles) in a state of euphoria that no drugs can buy, because I KNOW that Almighty God is somewhere nudging one of His angels, saying, "Hey guys, watch what this Son of mine Daniel does next."

If I could write a book which would make every reader feel that way, I'd do it, and sell em for the cost of a "Thank You," and consider myself well-paid for my life.Don Blevins told me couple years ago that there were  some 400 kids named after me in OK so far.  What a  hell of a burden to put on a poor innocent baby, but at least they ain't gotta look like me.  t's hard for me to get over the Blessings He has bestowed on me and my Family.  Groff says I'm the type of guy where God sits around waiting to see what I'm gonna do next - I do the exact opposite, and hope I can jump in and be a part of whatever He's got up His sleeve for His next project.....

I think the first prepaid order I'd jump into it, but I really doubt anyone wants to hear these ramblings of mine....

First, that is not my property, and I won't sell it.  It was stolen property to begin with, and I've just secured it for the rightful owners.  That's my position.  It is locked up secure and that is where it will remain until July-August 2021

Second, tracking this stuff down has gotten very expensive for me, and I'm still out of work, and can't spend any more time on it.  All the people that said, "We'll help out!" somehow don't seem to be there.  Maybe when it hits Deseret Books someone will get some money out of it, but so far, not one cent here.

Last, I'd like to get enough cash together to go get that stuff out of the 'rock room'.  That's gonna take a lot of dough, And I'm not gonna get it wasting time waiting for all that assistance....

But, I'll post a couple more stories, then see if a book of them would actually sell.

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We went to take our Baptism interviews with President Walkenhorst (Mission President), and while we were getting ready, I found Audrey waiting in her room, crying.  I asked her what was wrong, and she wouldn't answer for the longest time, except so say that she knew she was gonna mess everything up, and felt terrible about it.  I asked her how she thought she could mess everything up, and she said she had talked to President Walkenhorst about how long the Baptism was gonna take.

"What did he say?"

Audrey replied, "He said not more than 45 minutes."

"So, what's the problem" I asked?

"I don't think I can hold my breath underwater that long."

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18 hours ago, oklds said:

The big question is:  How many people gonna buy a copy?  And how do I get someone to print it? And how do I get someone to get it to the bookstores? 

Go to Amazon and check out how to publish a Kindle book.  Easy peasy.

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On 2/24/2019 at 9:03 PM, oklds said:

The big question is:  How many people gonna buy a copy?  And how do I get someone to print it? And how do I get someone to get it to the bookstores?

Having done this kind of thing already, I can tell you how to get it printed/kindled, and it makes it also possible to get into bookstores.

As @cdowis says, go to Amazon.  In particular, go to https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/

I've published two family memoirs using this method.  You can publish Kindle book electronic format as well as print format.  

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