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I was at a ward activity with my daughter and I overheard a discussion about a young man who moved to school and spends so much time playing video games it's hurting his life and testimony.

it made me consider another man I know from growing up who still plays lots of video games. Often i see his wife struggling with their children while he is in a game.

It makes me wonder, is this a wide spread problem? How many mission age young men are impeding their progress in life because of video games? How many men are neglecting their families over them?

I've enjoyed a good game from time to time in the past. But it seems foreign to me to spend so much time gaming and neglecting weighted matters

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It is a problem for some especially when it becomes an addiction or a crippling form of escapism.

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1 hour ago, Avatar4321 said:

I was at a ward activity with my daughter and I overheard a discussion about a young man who moved to school and spends so much time playing video games it's hurting his life and testimony.

it made me consider another man I know from growing up who still plays lots of video games. Often i see his wife struggling with their children while he is in a game.

It makes me wonder, is this a wide spread problem? How many mission age young men are impeding their progress in life because of video games? How many men are neglecting their families over them?

I've enjoyed a good game from time to time in the past. But it seems foreign to me to spend so much time gaming and neglecting weighted matters

I’ve wanted to take my 8 grandsons to the nearby Fort Lewis Military Museum. Today Sister Gui and I went ourselves. She said I probably would not enjoy taking the boys. Why? Because there were no interactive screens or games. You had to stand and read about the items and events, so they would get bored very quickly.

She has a kindergarten boy who sits on the floor and cries when it is play time. Her room is full of fun educational toys, but he says he doesn’t like toys and wants his video game. He’s getting better with time, though. So many parents use screens as pacifiers and babysitters. That’s a huge mistake.

We have an acquaintance whose son is in legal trouble because he stole credit card information to pay for thousands of dollars of on-line gaming.

It can be a fun and harmless pastime, but it can also be a serious problem for some people.

Edited by Bernard Gui
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I haven't played a video game since 1991! I think it's a problem! Check out the girlfriend/mom/friend freakout videos on youtube, yikes! I think phones is a problem though as well

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I feel some sympathy for those who face this as in my teens and early 20s I was down that rabbit hole quite a ways. Then as I grew older I found myself less interested. Went from 10-20 hours a week slowly down to my current average of 2-4 hours a week with the occasional spike when I am around relatives or I just get super interested which happens. It is like any of my other hobbies now.

The last research I read suggested it is particularly attractive to men because it triggers the same reward centers of the brain that athletic activities do for less effort and that athletic activity tends to dim the urge.

I also think that some of the critics of the activity are kind of messed up. Have a friend whose wife complains about his video game consumption but come to find out she would prefer he was sitting on the couch watching TV with her. Is that really a situation where you can take a moral high ground?

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By the way, on a more serious note, if we wanted  to get a lot more LDS male youths to serve  missions, we could figure out a way to proselytize while playing online mmorpg games. Maybe form a well know highly successful guild called "The Stripling Warriors" that participates in all different games.

Edited by CA Steve
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10 hours ago, Avatar4321 said:

I was at a ward activity with my daughter and I overheard a discussion about a young man who moved to school and spends so much time playing video games it's hurting his life and testimony.

it made me consider another man I know from growing up who still plays lots of video games. Often i see his wife struggling with their children while he is in a game.

It makes me wonder, is this a wide spread problem? How many mission age young men are impeding their progress in life because of video games? How many men are neglecting their families over them?

I've enjoyed a good game from time to time in the past. But it seems foreign to me to spend so much time gaming and neglecting weighted matters

Oh yes, this is a problem. I have two older single sons who moved back home, one 21 and the other 26 that while at home that's all they do. They both work during the day and one of them is finishing up his Associates Degree online at night, so that's good, anyway they play the latest craze, Fort Nite. And my two grandsons 8 and 13 play too. When you said the man you knew growing up still plays, that scared me! My two sons are single and they have lately hooked up with friends from our old neighborhood that are both married! So the time away from spouses is not good. I may be taking this way too seriously but it does have me worried. I guess while playing, they have headphones and carry on conversations with each other. My son told me his one friend that plays it is kind of a baby, because when he loses he leaves and sulks a little. My sons and these friends were very active together when younger and played basketball, soccer and football. 

My two grandsons have played with strangers, there is a youtube out there with my 8 year old grandson playing with the older person, I heard my grandson's voice! My daughter doesn't seem to mind. Scared..to..death about this!

Edited by Tacenda

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9 hours ago, Avatar4321 said:

I was at a ward activity with my daughter and I overheard a discussion about a young man who moved to school and spends so much time playing video games it's hurting his life and testimony.

it made me consider another man I know from growing up who still plays lots of video games. Often i see his wife struggling with their children while he is in a game.

It makes me wonder, is this a wide spread problem? How many mission age young men are impeding their progress in life because of video games? How many men are neglecting their families over them?

I've enjoyed a good game from time to time in the past. But it seems foreign to me to spend so much time gaming and neglecting weighted matters

Most of the time when i'm playing games it's because I'm sick, homebound and can't go outside.  I'll never understand why an able bodied guy would waste a perfectly good summer day inside when he could be in the woods, in Gods country where we're supposed to be (Just my opinion).  Can't speak for you guys, for people like me who spent part of our childhood as latchey kids video games where a babysitter when mom had to work so games have always had a special spot for me.  Was even more so for my friends who came from similar socio economic backgrounds.  When my best friends folks split, his mom could no longer afford their home so they went from a nice middle class suburb to someplace in the hood.  Didn't help that the friends he lived next to and went to mass with turned their backs on him, the parents didn't want their kids associating with the child of a divorcee, real Christ like behavior right there....

Anyway, he had the same problem I did, most of the kids he knew from then on were kinda thugs who came from very messed up families.  Most of em got into fights all the time, smoked lots of dope and other things, stole and eventually got into gangs.  He ended up doing what I did, keeping to himself and playing games because it was safer.  Like me he saw his old friends drop off one by one, many due to drugs and alcoholism.  It's a scary thing when you see someone you used to help babysit OD at the age of 21. 

This was my experience with video games as well as that of my friends, it gave us an escape from a world that was rather hostile and cared nothing for us, we were the throw away kids who didn't count.  Take all this for what its worth.

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25 minutes ago, CA Steve said:

I honestly don't see the problem. I would write out a lengthy response on why video games are okay but my WoW guild is starting a raid in an hour and I have to farm some regs to make mana potions.

LEEEERROOOOY JENKINSSS!!!!!

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15 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

Oh yes, this is a problem. I have two older single sons who moved back home, one 21 and the other 26 that while at home that's all they do. They both work during the day and one of them is finishing up his Associates Degree online at night, so that's good, anyway they play the latest craze, Fort Nite. And my two grandsons 8 and 13 play too. When you said the man you knew growing up still plays, that scared me! My two sons are single and they have lately hooked up with friends from our old neighborhood that are both married! So the time away from spouses is not good. I may be taking this way too seriously but it does have me worried. I guess while playing, they have headphones and carry on conversations with each other. My son told me his one friend that plays it is kind of a baby, because when he loses he leaves and sulks a little. My sons and these friends were very active together when younger and played basketball, soccer and football. 

My two grandsons have played with strangers, there is a youtube out there with my 8 year old grandson playing with the older person, I heard my grandson's voice! My daughter doesn't seem to mind. Scared..to..death about this!

Watch your grandsons like hawks, bad things have happened that way.  Not sure how streetwise your grandkids are, for me I was always leary of people even way back in the day.  The Internet is still a very scary place and lots of bad people know parents use video games as glorified babysitters.  Is Dare still a thing?  I'd call the local PD and see if they have anything like they did in the mcgruff days where they taught kids things about streetsmarts.  When I was in the boyscouts we had stuff like this, granted that was back in the day when things were kinda normal.  I think.,,,

Most of you guys are parents, do they put things like this out there anymore?

 

Edited by poptart

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My sister's grandson is really hooked.   Yesterday though, I was so happy to be invited to his Jr. Jazz basketball game....hallelujah...he was out of the bedroom and doing something active.   I was so pleased and told him so.  This is his first year on any team and hope he keeps it up.  My son has roommate pushing 30 that he never sees.  He is locked up in a room almost 24-7.

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Which is worse? 6 hours of video games per week or 10 hours of watching sports? Just sayin' :)

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48 minutes ago, Alaris said:

Which is worse? 6 hours of video games per week or 10 hours of watching sports? Just sayin' :)

I don't know that either is worse except as far as watching sports is usually during normal hours and doesn't typically involve creating personal relationships with others, while a lot of women that I know complain that their husbands are routinely up until 2 in the morning video gaming with people they've never met in real life but which they expend a lot of emotional energy on.

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10 minutes ago, bluebell said:

I don't know that either is worse except as far as watching sports is usually during normal hours and doesn't typically involve creating personal relationships with others, while a lot of women that I know complain that their husbands are routinely up until 2 in the morning video gaming with people they've never met in real life but which they expend a lot of emotional energy on.

The point is moderation. Sounds moderation is a big problem with these many women's husbands. 

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5 minutes ago, Alaris said:

The point is moderation.

I'm a high school math teacher. Most of the students that I catch using the phone during class time are playing a game.

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10 minutes ago, Alaris said:

The point is moderation. Sounds moderation is a big problem with these many women's husbands. 

I think so.  

I think more than the husbands' inability to moderate though it's that they use video games as a way to escape their lives.  They go to work and then they come home and pretend to be someone else until 2 in the morning because they are stuck in a rut of immaturity.  They do all the things that grown men do on the outside--they marry, they have jobs, they have kids--but emotionally they are still 16 years old.  For a lot of them playing video games so much is a symptom of a larger problem and not just a problem itself. 

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3 hours ago, poptart said:

Watch your grandsons like hawks, bad things have happened that way.  Not sure how streetwise your grandkids are, for me I was always leary of people even way back in the day.  The Internet is still a very scary place and lots of bad people know parents use video games as glorified babysitters.  Is Dare still a thing?  I'd call the local PD and see if they have anything like they did in the mcgruff days where they taught kids things about streetsmarts.  When I was in the boyscouts we had stuff like this, granted that was back in the day when things were kinda normal.  I think.,,,

Most of you guys are parents, do they put things like this out there anymore?

 

Thanks for the feedback Poptart, my grandsons are extremely streetsmart. They are growing up in the West Valley area and are exposed to much more than we in a bubble here in Davis County Utah. But I worry all the time. I've discussed over and over with them about the dangers and talked to my daughter, she's probably just as concerned but sometimes we butt heads so maybe she is taking a laidback approach because of that. 

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1 hour ago, bluebell said:

I think so.  

I think more than the husbands' inability to moderate though it's that they use video games as a way to escape their lives.  They go to work and then they come home and pretend to be someone else until 2 in the morning because they are stuck in a rut of immaturity.  They do all the things that grown men do on the outside--they marry, they have jobs, they have kids--but emotionally they are still 16 years old.  For a lot of them playing video games so much is a symptom of a larger problem and not just a problem itself. 

Agreed, except that there are females with the same problem too.  The problem is not video games themselves (or social media or other electronic stuff), but when people use anything as a form of escapism and run away from real life.  

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4 hours ago, The Nehor said:

she would prefer he was sitting on the couch watching TV with her. 

Some families view that as together time. My husband does, I don’t but then I can’t sit and cuddle due to my disorder. I can see why if that is what you are doing rather than both just sitting in your separate recliners staring at the screen you might see it as a more social activity. 

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40 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

Agreed, except that there are females with the same problem too.  The problem is not video games themselves (or social media or other electronic stuff), but when people use anything as a form of escapism and run away from real life.  

On the other hand it's important to have some leisure time to "escape" and rest. All things in balance and moderation of course.

Plenty of people play video games without over doing it. There seems to be some who struggle with over doing it more than others but I've seen husbands dedicate too much time to sports or outdoors hobbies like hunting, camping and fishing. 

Sometimes the time these men who overspend in these hobbies is an indication of an underlying problem where the escapism is a symptom rather than the cause. What are they escaping from? 

Edited by Alaris
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3 hours ago, Alaris said:

Which is worse? 6 hours of video games per week or 10 hours of watching sports? Just sayin' :)

If it takes you away from Christ then they both are bad

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2 hours ago, Thinking said:

I'm a high school math teacher. Most of the students that I catch using the phone during class time are playing a game.

My son-in-law is a European in his first year teaching at a large southeastern university in the United States. He has been amazed that he has had to discipline college students because they are fooling around with cell phones during class.  He is going to be a great teacher I know, and will find a better position with more motivated students in the future. For now though, he has to take a step back, and be determined to do his best with whoever is taking his classes for whatever reason, trying to help them understand that an American university education is not cheap and not to be squandered texting your friends or playing video games! I would love to take one of his classes (he teaches a foreign language), and I do not believe it is his fault when many of these kids are just bored with the idea of learning about a rich culture and another language. 

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15 hours ago, Avatar4321 said:

I was at a ward activity with my daughter and I overheard a discussion about a young man who moved to school and spends so much time playing video games it's hurting his life and testimony.

it made me consider another man I know from growing up who still plays lots of video games. Often i see his wife struggling with their children while he is in a game.

It makes me wonder, is this a wide spread problem? How many mission age young men are impeding their progress in life because of video games? How many men are neglecting their families over them?

I've enjoyed a good game from time to time in the past. But it seems foreign to me to spend so much time gaming and neglecting weighted matters

It’s only a problem for those who lack discipline and ambition, IMO.  There is nothing inherently wrong about video games.  All in moderation.

 My son and I used to enjoy video games together and I still remember the first time he (really) beat me on Madden.  

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2 minutes ago, 6EQUJ5 said:

It’s only a problem for those who lack discipline and ambition, IMO.  There is nothing inherently wrong about video games.  All in moderation.

 My son and I used to enjoy video games together and I still remember the first time he (really) beat me on Madden.  

While true that those who retain discipline and ambition are not susceptible to immoderation, is it not possible that for many, the video game drains discipline and ambition? I have experienced a lack of desire for study in preference for becoming absorbed in a game or even just the internet. I think, as with alcohol, we have to understand that those who cannot control it in their lives, need help. By the way, congratulations for holding your boy off. I am sure you were both gratified when he beat you and you were trying. I wouldn't take something like that from anybody. Video games are not bad, but I think they should be seen as something that can be a problem for many.

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