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By Bernard Gui
On another thread, I mentioned the idea that we update the names of the Young Women groups. “MIA Maids” harks back to the youth and young adult programs of yesteryears....when I was a kid, but we are not saying when that was.
The culmination of those programs was the Master M-Men (Master Mutual or Mormon Men, not Master Mahan Men ) and the Golden Gleaner Awards. I wonder if we might not be revisiting those awards as we look to reform and upgrade our programs for youth, especially the Scouting program.
Lest we scoff at Master M-Men and Golden Gleaners, take a look at what the program involved. There was some serious work required - up to age 30! I had some older friends and relatives who earned the titles, but it was discontinued before I reached the eligible age.
It would really be worth your while to look at this, especially if you wonder what MIA Maids are. Check out this page for a list of required achievements....it is extensive and very demanding, and involved real-life skills and accomplishments:
By Bernard Gui
Today a friend told me about the destruction of his daughter's temple marriage caused by her husband's inability to overcome addiction to pornography. He was first exposed to porn as a youth and had kept his addiction secret until it was accidentally discovered by his wife. This is not the first, second, or third time this has happened to someone I know. But that is not the point of this OP.
He then repeated a question he was asked by a sister who knows the situation and wants to be married and start a family. Her question:
"Given the fact that virtually all young men are now exposed to pornography, how can I be sure I am marrying someone who is not going to destroy our marriage by an addiction he is keeping secret?" My friend's wife, who has sadly witnessed the devastation, said, "Ask the prospective man when was the last time he viewed pornography and see how he reacts."
How would you answer her question? Please, no Sunday School class answers.
By Spencer 88
Hi, anybody willing to read and share some input.
I am in a tough situation and will try to give a brief overview of all. My wife and I are from dysfunctional part member or so so active hypocritical homes. I was inactive, read the BOM repented and gained a testimony, went on a mission, got back and made some mistakes etc. Met my wife, who I thought was an amazing person, but she was inactive. We dated, slipped with sexual transgression, got pregnant and decided to get married. Both had desire to marry each other, but had some apprehensions due to slipping and failing on those goals.
I fell into a deep depression and was disfellowshipped as I expected. I felt like I failed God and myself and the witnesses I had received. I felt hopeless and wrote some terrible things about my wife and secretly began to loathe her as I despised myself. Had our son, I sought help and went on antidepressants and went to counseling. I pulled up out of that hole, and had a new hope for us. My wife found my journal and read all the things I said, that I no longer felt about her and our future. It destroyed her.
She has since been with me, but not emotionally there, won't do things to progress with me. I quit both my jobs and moved for her masters program, after she had left me earlier and came back and decided to work through things and have a fresh start. Now she is disconnected again, has expressed she has no faith in God because of her life and the terrible things that happen in the world, and because of the church's decision to exclude children of gay couples...
I am tired of trying to prove I didn't mean those things and being constantly pushed away. I am scared and now she wants a divorce as I said I need her to commit and she says she can't trust or love me. She is going to speak with a counselor from school. She doesn't want to be with me especially if I desire a temple sealing. I fear the worst for us and our son, and have been trying as much as I can give without being burnt from her rejection. I do love her, but don't know how much more I can take.
Anybody have similar experiences? The consequences of the divorce will make life nearly impossible, will have to shuffle our child, pay for two rents, lose half of everything, work around child care and child payments, and the devastating loneliness that comes with divorce and the stigma of trying to find another spouse when you have a child and are divorced. I am 28.