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The Nehor

Nehor Rants About Online Dating

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1 hour ago, mnn727 said:

Is that a problem?

Dating someone with a kid about my age? For me, yeah.

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23 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Well, I have moved into the ennui stage. Seems hopeless and the only people I have met so far that I would want to meet are far enough away that it would be difficult.

Also, found my mom. Well, a younger version of my mom. Same name, same general look, same interests, kind of creepy.

Spent the weekend binging on games and then got sick from eating delicious garbage food. Then got a massive dehydration headache which I could not treat as I was vomiting up the cure (all the water). Missed church and gave Bishop heads up but forgot to tell Sunday School President I would not be able to teach so now I feel bad. Sleep schedule is shot as I slept through most of day Sunday. Two weeks and I am taking a whole week off of work just because I can. It will be glorious.

Current Mood: melancholy, not expecting much but weirdly sentimental:

bee_orchid.png

I thought the thing about the extinct bee was pretty interesting, but when I looked it up for further information it turns out to be incorrect.  In the northern part of its range the plant is preferentially self-polinating (in fact, the entire genus is preferentially self-pollinating), but in the southern part -- Italy and so on -- it mimics a female solitary bee that the males attempt to copulate with, and thus pollinates it.  The bee (actually three different species are involved) is not extinct.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ophrys_apifera

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@The Nehor, I really think you're going to need to take this more seriously than only going for localish ladies.  You've gone well past the age where you're going to find the idealish woman right in your backyard -- unless the spirit is witnessing to you that the one you're looking for is about to become available, either by moving in nearby, or by recently shedding a jerk of a husband.  And I kind of wonder if you're not being directed in the right path because you're taking it too casually?  I don't want to judge your efforts, because I have no way to know anything about you beyond what you've posted here, so I'm just throwing it out there as a thought.

But I kinda wasn't taking it very seriously to start with, myself, so perhaps that thought is inapplicable!  I started my "quest" back in 2016 by just having in mind finding a nice pen pal or two, so I only contacted women or responded to those who were relatively far away.  It didn't work, because someone who was the furthest away of them all decided I might just be "the one." And I was, apparently.

So don't give up!  My wife's daughter got married at 19 to a man who was older than you are now.  They were married in the London Temple and now have 5 children.  It will happen for you, man, just don't give up.

Edited by Stargazer

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19 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Dating someone with a kid about my age? For me, yeah.

I  missed that the kid was about your age....sorry.

Edited by mnn727

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4 hours ago, Stargazer said:

@The Nehor, I really think you're going to need to take this more seriously than only going for localish ladies.  You've gone well past the age where you're going to find the idealish woman right in your backyard -- unless the spirit is witnessing to you that the one you're looking for is about to become available, either by moving in nearby, or by recently shedding a jerk of a husband.  And I kind of wonder if you're not being directed in the right path because you're taking it too casually?  I don't want to judge your efforts, because I have no way to know anything about you beyond what you've posted here, so I'm just throwing it out there as a thought.

But I kinda wasn't taking it very seriously to start with, myself, so perhaps that thought is inapplicable!  I started my "quest" back in 2016 by just having in mind finding a nice pen pal or two, so I only contacted women or responded to those who were relatively far away.  It didn't work, because someone who was the furthest away of them all decided I might just be "the one." And I was, apparently.

So don't give up!  My wife's daughter got married at 19 to a man who was older than you are now.  They were married in the London Temple and now have 5 children.  It will happen for you, man, just don't give up.

Revelation has not been forthcoming on this issue. In fact I suspect based on previous revelation that I am not going to find anyone in this life. Odd because that conflicts with what the patriarch said but realistically I could have very easily sinned that promise away in the intervening years.

I am taking it casually to keep myself sane. Taking it seriously would probably mean giving up quickly. I do not do serious very well.

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Already getting bored. Will to continue faltering........got contacted by several women down in South America.....little hope of ever meeting.

Why do so many use their creepiest smiles? Are they trying to convey that they are vampires?

Why can I not find my ideal woman:

1429818791686.jpeg

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Don't give up Nehor, I met the love of my life via on-line dating. Yes, I had to endure a few stale dates, but it felt good to get out there and even if I didn't find my match, the dates made for a good experience in helping me determine what it is that I wanted in a woman.

I am now married to my soul mate because I took the plunge into the on-line dating world. It takes some sifting and can feel like looking for a needle in a haystack, but it can work!

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On 9/21/2018 at 3:01 PM, Walden said:

Don't give up Nehor, I met the love of my life via on-line dating. Yes, I had to endure a few stale dates, but it felt good to get out there and even if I didn't find my match, the dates made for a good experience in helping me determine what it is that I wanted in a woman.

I am now married to my soul mate because I took the plunge into the on-line dating world. It takes some sifting and can feel like looking for a needle in a haystack, but it can work!

Yep, same story for me -- but I've already told him about it, so glad you can confirm!  And glad you are happily hitched! 🙂 

Just curious, which service did you use?  I used ldssingles.com -- tried eHarmony but didn't like it at all.

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This thread is waaayyy more interesting than the stuff going on right now in General.  I think you should go for broke.  Post your photo all over the internet, including this site.  Then wait for some nice young woman to see it and instantly fall in love.  Wait- maybe that only works for serial killers in prison.

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On 9/20/2018 at 6:30 PM, The Nehor said:

Already getting bored. Will to continue faltering........got contacted by several women down in South America.....little hope of ever meeting.

Why do so many use their creepiest smiles? Are they trying to convey that they are vampires?

Why can I not find my ideal woman:

 

Admiral Ackbar's daughter?  LOL.

I have a niece who will soon be back in the market (after her divorce finalizes), and she sometimes posts pics of herself smiling, on Facebook.  When she smiles in person she's quite normal and attractive, but in these selfies (sometimes just her alone but mostly with her two cute kids) her smile is almost always "off" somehow.  I don't know why -- maybe the act of holding the phone out for the snap causes her smile muscles to go wonky.  Or maybe she's too self-conscious at those time. Oh well.

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Ok, will offer some good advice, well good for me anyway.  Consider an Omiai, an arranged marriage.  Hawaii still has them, they're professional matchmaking agencies that specialize in Japanese clients.  Both sides submit their info, the agency matches up who they think will be the best fit and they go from there.  My cousin who goes to Japan all the time has considered it, thing is like most of moms family he's Christian so a buddhist Japanese is well....

For me I'd have no problem but that's me.  Anyway, just thought i'd throw that out there.  A few links for you.  Also, these people have been on Japanese tv before.  Will say this, I would be very leary about people in the mainland USA.  I get it, people are people but the progressive liberalism, double standards and the lack of concern for children bothers me.  When a society has no qualms with destroying a marraige, the lives of the kids and in the case of blended families damaging all parties involved even further I say there's something wrong and well, society needs to get their act together and grow up.  If they chose not to, then let em burn and die, something else more fitting will take their place, that's life.  Still, you're a good guy, guessing you've met your share of scum people, you deserve better. 

https://www.matchmakinghawaii.com/

 

Aaaand Japanese tv's spot....

 

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10 hours ago, gopher said:

This thread is waaayyy more interesting than the stuff going on right now in General.  I think you should go for broke.  Post your photo all over the internet, including this site.  Then wait for some nice young woman to see it and instantly fall in love.  Wait- maybe that only works for serial killers in prison.

Back up plan: Take up serial killing.

Do you need a specific degree or certification to get into that occupation or is it all about knowing people already in the biz?

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48 minutes ago, poptart said:

Ok, will offer some good advice, well good for me anyway.  Consider an Omiai, an arranged marriage.  Hawaii still has them, they're professional matchmaking agencies that specialize in Japanese clients.  Both sides submit their info, the agency matches up who they think will be the best fit and they go from there.  My cousin who goes to Japan all the time has considered it, thing is like most of moms family he's Christian so a buddhist Japanese is well....

For me I'd have no problem but that's me.  Anyway, just thought i'd throw that out there.  A few links for you.  Also, these people have been on Japanese tv before.  Will say this, I would be very leary about people in the mainland USA.  I get it, people are people but the progressive liberalism, double standards and the lack of concern for children bothers me.  When a society has no qualms with destroying a marraige, the lives of the kids and in the case of blended families damaging all parties involved even further I say there's something wrong and well, society needs to get their act together and grow up.  If they chose not to, then let em burn and die, something else more fitting will take their place, that's life.  Still, you're a good guy, guessing you've met your share of scum people, you deserve better. 

https://www.matchmakinghawaii.com/

 

Aaaand Japanese tv's spot....

 

That sounds terrifying.

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Just tossing an option out there, did not mean to imply it was an ideal.  Mom favors the local side, this crap would scare me too.  Still, considering what i've seen here id have this on the radar.  That's me anyway, I'm content to be the crazy white guy who lives in an A-frame in the middle of nowhere. 

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Nothing happening. Bored of the whole thing. Favorite profile of the week involved woman pining over an actor as a first choice in life but holding out hope someone reading her profile will make a nice second. Yep, that is every guy’s dream.

Focused on other hobbies and church callings.

Current Mood:

 

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13 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Nothing happening. Bored of the whole thing. Favorite profile of the week involved woman pining over an actor as a first choice in life but holding out hope someone reading her profile will make a nice second. Yep, that is every guy’s dream.

Focused on other hobbies and church callings.

 

Don't give up - I'm glad I didn't.  It was tempting at times.  It just happens so easy for many.  Once in a TR interview, the counselor told me that when he was ready to get married, he prayed about it and the next week met his wife in the BYU cafeteria.  Ta-da!  (Not mocking his experience - it just wasn't that easy for me).  It's tough when you are told you are smart, funny, handsome, and any girl would be happy to be with you (why would my mom lie?)

I was a few years younger than you when it finally happened.  it was humiliating because it seems the entire stake was involved in setting us up.  I brought her to church for the first time before announcing our engagement.  In RS, after introducing herself, she mentioned "by the way, I'm marrying gopher".  She said all the women stood up and clapped and loudly cheered.  A few started crying.  Some had known me since high school and thought I'd never get married.

But it was all worth it - I married an amazing returned missionary who wasn't bothered by our age difference and now have a bunch of kids.  I can't imagine life getting any better.

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10 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Okay, and what in the world is an anti-feminist?

I think you should show us some profiles on here and let us pick who you should contact.  You trust us, right?

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1 hour ago, bluebell said:

I think you should show us some profiles on here and let us pick who you should contact.  You trust us, right?

As fun as that would be I doubt the owners of said profile would want to be explicitly critiqued by a panel of judges on th Internet.

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3 hours ago, gopher said:

Don't give up - I'm glad I didn't.  It was tempting at times.  It just happens so easy for many.  Once in a TR interview, the counselor told me that when he was ready to get married, he prayed about it and the next week met his wife in the BYU cafeteria.  Ta-da!  (Not mocking his experience - it just wasn't that easy for me).  It's tough when you are told you are smart, funny, handsome, and any girl would be happy to be with you (why would my mom lie?)

I was a few years younger than you when it finally happened.  it was humiliating because it seems the entire stake was involved in setting us up.  I brought her to church for the first time before announcing our engagement.  In RS, after introducing herself, she mentioned "by the way, I'm marrying gopher".  She said all the women stood up and clapped and loudly cheered.  A few started crying.  Some had known me since high school and thought I'd never get married.

But it was all worth it - I married an amazing returned missionary who wasn't bothered by our age difference and now have a bunch of kids.  I can't imagine life getting any better.

I am not quitting in general. I might quit trying this route.

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On 9/23/2018 at 10:52 AM, Stargazer said:

Admiral Ackbar's daughter?  LOL.

Here's FAIR's own Stephen Smoot correcting Conan O'Brien on a festering mistake involving Admiral Ackbar.

 

 

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39 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

As fun as that would be I doubt the owners of said profile would want to be explicitly critiqued by a panel of judges on th Internet.

We would never do such a thing.  We could promise to be nice.  Just a 'yay or nay' kind of thing.  

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49 minutes ago, bluebell said:

We would never do such a thing.  We could promise to be nice.  Just a 'yay or nay' kind of thing.  

Yes, but I would feel inclined to evaluate each person and you know how I am.

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12 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

Yes, but I would feel inclined to evaluate each person and you know how I am.

:lol:

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Amazon is recommending me a book called “Matchmaking for Beginners”. It is clearly a conspiracy.

Edited by The Nehor
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