Nehor Rants About Online Dating

[The Nehor]

Welp, it is that time again. Every five years or so I try to find true wuv online. It usually takes about a month before I realize the entire process is awful and horrible and give it up as a bad idea and remember why I stopped last time. Here I hope to share amusing anecdotes from the journey.

Okay, put up a profile. Focused on positive, put in a few bits of sardonic wit, threw in some fun photos of me doing fun things and an adorable one of me with my infant nephew for the “Awwwwwwwws”

Okay, time to search the meat market:

Okay, what is it with the “I love to laugh” cliche? It seems to be in every other profile. What does it mean? Are they trying to distinguish themselves from  all those people who hate laughing. Can you not even share what you like to laugh at? This phrase communicates absolutely nothing.

And then you have the people who did not write anything. Okay, so all I got is your age, a few likes, and some pics. What do you want to bet these are the same people who complain the dating scene is a meat market while they ensure that it is as much a meat market as possible.

Oh, first communication from someone......who is two years younger then my mother. Yeah, no. Not unless I decide to go with whatever the male equivalent of the sugar baby route is and you have a ton of money and one foot in the grave.

Stay tuned for more updates as I run this thing into the ground.

Current Mood: Cynically Optimistic

Edited September 6, 2018 by The Nehor

[bluebell]

 

[Stargazer]

30 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

Welp, it is that time again. Every five years or so I try to find true wuv online. It usually takes about a month before I realize the entire process is awful and horrible and give it up as a bad idea and remember why I stopped last time. Here I hope to share amusing anecdotes from the journey.

Okay, put up a profile. Focused on positive, put in a few bits of sardonic wit, threw in some fun photos of me doing fun things and an adorable one of me with my infant nephew for the “Awwwwwwwws”

Okay, time to search the meat market:

Okay, what is it with the “I love to laugh” cliche? It seems to be in every other profile. What does it mean? Are they trying to distinguish themselves from  all those people who hate laughing. Can you not even share what you like to laugh at? This phrase communicates absolutely nothing.

And then you have the people who did not write anything. Okay, so all I got is your age, a few likes, and some pics. What do you want to bet these are the same people who complain the dating scene is a meat market while they ensure that it is as much a meat market as possible.

Oh, first communication from someone......who is two years younger then my mother. Yeah, no. Not unless I decide to go with whatever the male equivalent of the sugar baby route is and you have a ton of money and one foot in the grave.

Stay tuned for more updates as I run this thing into the ground.

Which site are you using? I used ldssingles.com, which is where I found my "true wuv". Or she found me, actually!

[The Nehor]

4 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

Which site are you using? I used ldssingles.com, which is where I found my "true wuv". Or she found me, actually!

Nice, I think my current tally from online dating is two horrible dates and one where she panic buttoned out. I would rather not say what site I am using to avoid doxxjng myself or anyone I make fun of.

Edited September 6, 2018 by The Nehor

[Stargazer]

3 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

Nice, I think my current tally from online dating is two horrible dates and one where she panic buttoned out. I would rather not say what site I am using to avoid doxxjng myself or anyone I make fun of.

Understandable!

[bluebell]

Our family ward has seen a lot of success with Mutual.  We've had two marriages (of people in their late 20s and early 30s) of couples who met on that site.

[The Nehor]

3 minutes ago, bluebell said:

Our family ward has seen a lot of success with Mutual.  We've had two marriages (of people in their late 20s and early 30s) of couples who met on that site.

Thanks for the tip.

[Rain]

My daughter did not have success with mutual,  but maybe it depends on where you live and what age category you are looking at?  She is 20.

She had one guy that is ready to get married right now and didn't seem to realize they are not real compatible, even after she told him so.  Then she had quite a few that would message her, but she felt it was constant work to go anywhere with the conversation. If they weren't interested then she had no problem,  but they would keep replying to what she said, but make no real effort with the replies.  She finally deleted the app.

[The Nehor]

1 hour ago, Rain said:

My daughter did not have success with mutual,  but maybe it depends on where you live and what age category you are looking at?  She is 20.

She had one guy that is ready to get married right now and didn't seem to realize they are not real compatible, even after she told him so.  Then she had quite a few that would message her, but she felt it was constant work to go anywhere with the conversation. If they weren't interested then she had no problem,  but they would keep replying to what she said, but make no real effort with the replies.  She finally deleted the app.

Tell her not to worry. It gets worse as you get older.  

[The Nehor]

Okay, did some browsing at lunch.

Duck face......why? Why are there people who think duck face is cute? At best it is silly but it makes everyone look hideous. Why would you make that your primary pic? In some cases your only pic? It barely looks cute on a five year old. Why?

Then there are the testimony profiles. A presumably sincere affirmation of their faith in the Father and desire to serve him. That would be  great and all but that is the only thing you have? A testimony a six year old could give with a parent whispering in their ear? No insights. Nothing that tells me about your faith or something unique about it. Yeah.....boring. I hope you and your testimony and your cats will be very happy together.  

Still no responses to my messages or any incoming messages except for the lady with a kid my age.

 

Current Mood:

Edited September 6, 2018 by The Nehor

[Glenn101]

4 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Welp, it is that time again. Every five years or so I try to find true wuv online. It usually takes about a month before I realize the entire process is awful and horrible and give it up as a bad idea and remember why I stopped last time. Here I hope to share amusing anecdotes from the journey.

Okay, put up a profile. Focused on positive, put in a few bits of sardonic wit, threw in some fun photos of me doing fun things and an adorable one of me with my infant nephew for the “Awwwwwwwws”

Okay, time to search the meat market:

Okay, what is it with the “I love to laugh” cliche? It seems to be in every other profile. What does it mean? Are they trying to distinguish themselves from  all those people who hate laughing. Can you not even share what you like to laugh at? This phrase communicates absolutely nothing.

And then you have the people who did not write anything. Okay, so all I got is your age, a few likes, and some pics. What do you want to bet these are the same people who complain the dating scene is a meat market while they ensure that it is as much a meat market as possible.

Oh, first communication from someone......who is two years younger then my mother. Yeah, no. Not unless I decide to go with whatever the male equivalent of the sugar baby route is and you have a ton of money and one foot in the grave.

Stay tuned for more updates as I run this thing into the ground.

What I really like about you is your really positive outlook on life and everything. ☺️

Glenn

[The Nehor]

45 minutes ago, Glenn101 said:

What I really like about you is your really positive outlook on life and everything. ☺️

Glenn

[The Nehor]

Welp, found another pet peeve.

The entire profile is about what they want in their guy. If you view this as transactional it is the equivalent of going into some kind of merger and having nothing but a list of what you want from the other company and share nothing about your own. It is being a customer with no sales. And almost inevitably the demands totally put people off. I want you to be smart, funny, athletic, blah blah blah. That is a death sentence to any future. Go on a date with someone where you are convinced you have to be smart and funny and you will worry about both, overcompensate, and probably be worse.

No luck yet but I took Bluebell’s advice and branched out.

In unrelated news I got an unexpected bonus today so Current Mood:

 

Edited September 7, 2018 by The Nehor

[bluebell]

@The Nehor, when you do get married, we'd better all be invited to the wedding!

[MorningStar]

How old are you and are you looking for someone in state? Out of state? Can you tell us which state you live in? I have some single friends and I think you're hilarious! 

[The Nehor]

27 minutes ago, bluebell said:

@The Nehor, when you do get married, we'd better all be invited to the wedding!

It is more an "if" then a when.

18 minutes ago, MorningStar said:

How old are you and are you looking for someone in state? Out of state? Can you tell us which state you live in? I have some single friends and I think you're hilarious! 

I am still in my mid-thirties (39). Yes, I know that does not make sense and that it proves I am delusional. I am down in Texas. Mostly looking for local or next city over.

[Okrahomer]

9 hours ago, bluebell said:

Our family ward has seen a lot of success with Mutual.  We've had two marriages (of people in their late 20s and early 30s) of couples who met on that site.

My niece met her now husband on Mutual as well.  They were both attending BYU, but Mutual seemed to work better for them than the typical in-ward dating approach.

[Jeanne]

I have so been there and done this...I was corresponding in 2007 to a real nice guy from the midwest...He was ready to fly to Utah for a meet up in SLC.  It was then I thim that I was LDS.   Um...never heard from him again.  But hey...I learned a lot...😋  With compatibility in interests and/or hobbies...religion is still key and works both ways.

Like you...I love wit and humor...it is mandatory...but hey if you actually have to explain the joke..it aint gonna work...

[Tacenda]

11 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Welp, it is that time again. Every five years or so I try to find true wuv online. It usually takes about a month before I realize the entire process is awful and horrible and give it up as a bad idea and remember why I stopped last time. Here I hope to share amusing anecdotes from the journey.

Okay, put up a profile. Focused on positive, put in a few bits of sardonic wit, threw in some fun photos of me doing fun things and an adorable one of me with my infant nephew for the “Awwwwwwwws”

Okay, time to search the meat market:

Okay, what is it with the “I love to laugh” cliche? It seems to be in every other profile. What does it mean? Are they trying to distinguish themselves from  all those people who hate laughing. Can you not even share what you like to laugh at? This phrase communicates absolutely nothing.

And then you have the people who did not write anything. Okay, so all I got is your age, a few likes, and some pics. What do you want to bet these are the same people who complain the dating scene is a meat market while they ensure that it is as much a meat market as possible.

Oh, first communication from someone......who is two years younger then my mother. Yeah, no. Not unless I decide to go with whatever the male equivalent of the sugar baby route is and you have a ton of money and one foot in the grave.

Stay tuned for more updates as I run this thing into the ground.

Current Mood: Cynically Optimistic

I've been working with a Down's Syndrome child for the last 2 weeks, because her parents do not want her in Special Ed and by law we can't refuse their request, therefore I'm documenting how well she is doing in Gen. Ed. And on the walls of this 1st grade teacher there is a darling photo of her amongst young adult children. I assumed these were her children when I first saw it, but found out today it is her niece & nephews, she told me one of the students came up to her today and said he really wanted her to find a husband, she goes by Miss so and so. I thought she had been married and either was a widow, or divorced. And she told me she just hadn't found the right one. She was probably in her late 40's and such a neat lady! She was hilarious too and really taught so that it was interesting and fun. She told me she wouldn't ever marry just to be married, that would be worse than being single. I kept thinking how many men are sure missing out. If you were to look at her photo online on the school's website you wouldn't think she is attractive, just took a bad photo. But if you met her in real life you would find her very attractive, and it's from the inside out that makes her so cute. I've seen some women who online look all hot and all that, but in person, not so much. Just some advice that I hope you might like. And yes, women love a man with a good sense of humor and who make them laugh! But I understand that you need details on what that is, but you know what? You make us all laugh! I think you could just be yourself and that would be just perfect! Btw, my brother-in-law is 55 and single, divorced. He is struggling to find someone, but goes on these weekly singles group hikes all over the state of Utah and outside of it too. They are into repelling now. I wish you lived in Utah so you could join in! But I think some of the ladies like being single too much.

[Maidservant]

11 hours ago, Tacenda said:

 weekly singles group hikes

You know, reminds me, there is that online networking for real life group meets called MeetUp.  It's not just for singleness (although there could be some of those groups), but based on interests, so you (Nehor) can be meeting people with common interests.

[The Nehor]

1 hour ago, Maidservant said:

You know, reminds me, there is that online networking for real life group meets called MeetUp.  It's not just for singleness (although there could be some of those groups), but based on interests, so you (Nehor) can be meeting people with common interests.

I use meetup and have met a bunch of friends through it but the relative paucity of LDS here compared to the general population means meeting people to date through it is unlikely.

[Stargazer]

19 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Welp, found another pet peeve.

The entire profile is about what they want in their guy. If you view this as transactional it is the equivalent of going into some kind of merger and having nothing but a list of what you want from the other company and share nothing about your own. It is being a customer with no sales. And almost inevitably the demands totally put people off. I want you to be smart, funny, athletic, blah blah blah. That is a death sentence to any future. Go on a date with someone where you are convinced you have to be smart and funny and you will worry about both, overcompensate, and probably be worse.

No luck yet but I took Bluebell’s advice and branched out.

In unrelated news I got an unexpected bonus today so Current Mood:

 

This is how it worked for me.  I told about myself honestly, that I was overweight, not a jock, was a grandpa, knew too much for my own good, and liked intelligent women.  What happened was, she browsed past me, like "Oh, not him...", went past a few more profiles, then decided to come back and look at what I wrote in my profile.  It was funny, and made her laugh.  So she sent me a "smile".  When I looked at her profile, I found someone who liked mountains, and since I had once been in her hometown (like 45 years before), I actually sent her a message and told her that I liked mountains too and how I lived near a really good one (Mt. Rainier in Washington state).  She responded, and six weeks later we were married.  Your mileage may vary, but I think there is a lot to the notion that if you can make a woman laugh, you have an "in".  You're good at being amusing and you've drawn a lot of people to your personality by what you've written. So write something that will show your sense of humor!

[katherine the great]

19 hours ago, The Nehor said:

It is more an "if" then a when.

I am still in my mid-thirties (39). Yes, I know that does not make sense and that it proves I am delusional. I am down in Texas. Mostly looking for local or next city over.

My gorgeous, smart and single 27 year old daughter just moved back here from Texas. Bummer...

[MorningStar]

26 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

This is how it worked for me.  I told about myself honestly, that I was overweight, not a jock, was a grandpa, knew too much for my own good, and liked intelligent women.  What happened was, she browsed past me, like "Oh, not him...", went past a few more profiles, then decided to come back and look at what I wrote in my profile.  It was funny, and made her laugh.  So she sent me a "smile".  When I looked at her profile, I found someone who liked mountains, and since I had once been in her hometown (like 45 years before), I actually sent her a message and told her that I liked mountains too and how I lived near a really good one (Mt. Rainier in Washington state).  She responded, and six weeks later we were married.  Your mileage may vary, but I think there is a lot to the notion that if you can make a woman laugh, you have an "in".  You're good at being amusing and you've drawn a lot of people to your personality by what you've written. So write something that will show your sense of humor!

One of my favorite memories - meeting you two just moments after getting engaged!

I bet Nehor's profile is already funny. Online dating sounds like a nightmare. How do you write something that doesn't sound cliché? My husband and I never would have found each other because his profile would say something like, "Introvert who loves hiking" and mine would say, "I love talking for hours!" I have a friend who is using multiple dating apps that come up with matches for him, but a profile just doesn't tell you enough. Unless you're Stargazer!  

[The Nehor]

16 minutes ago, MorningStar said:

One of my favorite memories - meeting you two just moments after getting engaged!

I bet Nehor's profile is already funny. Online dating sounds like a nightmare. How do you write something that doesn't sound cliché? My husband and I never would have found each other because his profile would say something like, "Introvert who loves hiking" and mine would say, "I love talking for hours!" I have a friend who is using multiple dating apps that come up with matches for him, but a profile just doesn't tell you enough. Unless you're Stargazer!  

And then some make you keep your profile way too short. It is hard to adequately express your supervillain ambitions without room to talk about your planned volcano lair with laser sharks and your latest death ray plans.

Edited September 7, 2018 by The Nehor