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Regor

Support Group for parents of children rejecting a mission

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On 6/25/2018 at 12:05 PM, Storm Rider said:

Regor, I think I can understand your position.  We have three children our first son did not serve a mission while our last child, a son, did serve a mission.  He served in the same mission I did some 35 plus years earlier. 

Our first son was the apple of my eye, as the saying goes. I had a dream about him when I was a young man several years prior to my mission. I knew that I would grow up, marry my wife, and our first child's name, what he looked like, and everything about him seemed to be known to me. There was never any question about how things would unfold. I hungered for the time he would enter into the world and the fun times we would share together as he grew up. Our son came into the world and he was perfect and he was everything I knew he would be. Then when he was four days before his 3-month birthday he died of SIDS. That was a hard experience and I felt the sting of losing him for a long time. 

I cannot explain why he chose to leave this earth, but I know that he chose to do so for a righteous cause. I don't know why some children choose the things they do. I don't know why some of our children choose path significantly better than we did; nor do I understand why some children choose so poorly. Regardless of how many warnings we give they keep moving in the same direction and bear harsh consequences for poorly made choices.  

I am sorry that your sons will not enjoy some truly wonderful, amazing experiences serving as missionaries. However, what you need to do is let go of those dreams for them - they are gone now. Now you need to focus on building new dreams and new experiences. Don't attempt to limit them to dreams that attempt to replicate a mission - dream new dreams that your sons will enjoy and that will build even stronger relationships between each of you.  

Lastly, I would ask you to let our Heavenly Father know that you are turning over your sons to him - he was always in control anyway. Let him be their guide and direct them - this does not absolve you of your responsibilities as a father, but it removes the burden of their choices that were never yours to bear in the first place. 

God bless you

SR..so sorry for your loss but value your testimony of free agency...of service..of love..and all those things that made the child yours.  Should God measure people by their pain, you are a good man.  I believe as you do...that there has to be reasons..and that life after death is not only a hope..but is real and your son knows you and who you have become because of him.

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On ‎7‎/‎13‎/‎2018 at 5:32 PM, Avatar4321 said:

That's simply not true. I know plenty of men who didn't serve and no one thinks twice about it. One of my former Bishops is one such man. No one would even know if he didn't bring it up.

I came home early for medical reasons, no one treated me any different

My post was a bit lengthy- which part isn't true?

Congrats you were not treated badly...Generally people who come back early for med reasons get treated just fine unless they contracted gonorrhea lol

 

 

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2 hours ago, secondclasscitizen said:

My post was a bit lengthy- which part isn't true?

Congrats you were not treated badly...Generally people who come back early for med reasons get treated just fine unless they contracted gonorrhea lol

 

 

Why do people who want not going on a mission to be fine always mock why I got sent home from mine? :( 

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I don't think anyone should mock someone for being sent home from a mission, at least they tried. I have thought about that, I know someone that came home early from a mission with some mental issues. Not sure what happened, another person that came home early said they had  a mission president they viewed as mentally or psychosocially  abusive, not sure what happened. With all the challenges my son has had to his testimony and sub par interactions with other members it may be the best that he has not decided to go on a mission.

On ‎7‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 3:36 AM, The Nehor said:

Why do people who want not going on a mission to be fine always mock why I got sent home from mine? :( 

 

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