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9 minutes ago, ttribe said:

Which, of course, can be faked/influenced/manipulated, etc.  So, then we have the little BYU freshman co-ed who dates an RM once, on the second date he tells her that he's prayed about it and knows they are to get married. She prays and feels *good* about it, but mostly because he's an RM and must know how to listen to the Spirit, plus it's all new and he seems nice. So 6 months later they are married.  On their wedding night, she discovers he's an abusive monster.  Tell me that hasn't happened many times over and I'll tell you that you have your head in the sand.

The key is to find out who you pledged to marry in the premortal world.....and then decide whether you need to reconsider that decision. ;) 

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Just now, The Nehor said:

The key is to find out who you pledged to marry in the premortal world.....and then decide whether you need to reconsider that decision. ;) 

Ahhh, +1 for the Saturday's Warrior reference. 

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39 minutes ago, ttribe said:

Which, of course, can be faked/influenced/manipulated, etc.  So, then we have the little BYU freshman co-ed who dates an RM once, on the second date he tells her that he's prayed about it and knows they are to get married. She prays and feels *good* about it, but mostly because he's an RM and must know how to listen to the Spirit, plus it's all new and he seems nice. So 6 months later they are married.  On their wedding night, she discovers he's an abusive monster.  Tell me that hasn't happened many times over and I'll tell you that you have your head in the sand.

That's an issue of not understanding correct stewardship.
Perhaps we should do a better job of teaching revelatory jurisdiction.

What that RM just did is called unrighteous dominion...nobody gets revelation for those outside of their stewardship.
Otherwise we'd all be getting revelations for the Church and each other's families.

If that has happened it wasn't God that had anything to do with it.  I say again that allowing God to arrange marriage is the way to go.

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1 hour ago, The Nehor said:

I own a three bedroom house I will have paid off in five years if all goes well.

And wow, I didn't expect to find another of the mid-singles from my stake here. You may want to upgrade that CRT monitor there next time you get your allowance.

But I'm guessing you still choose to live in your basement...for old times sake right?  Yeah my allowance check from my elderly parents have been slow and I don't have money to upgrade my system...but maybe if I forgo my daily donut allowance, I might upgrade to a Commodore 64 next month

Edited by Johnnie Cake
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8 minutes ago, JLHPROF said:

That's an issue of not understanding correct stewardship.
Perhaps we should do a better job of teaching revelatory jurisdiction.

What that RM just did is called unrighteous dominion...nobody gets revelation for those outside of their stewardship.
Otherwise we'd all be getting revelations for the Church and each other's families.

If that has happened it wasn't God that had anything to do with it.  I say again that allowing God to arrange marriage is the way to go.

Right, except that there is no objective way to differentiate between the two.

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4 hours ago, The Nehor said:

To be fair most of the men in my age group are even below that standard of mediocre. A bunch of fat ambitionless weirdos who can barely support themselves so yeah.

I do not think I am in that boat. I I am in my mid 30s and make a borderline upper-middle class income, and have a degree though I am not too career ambitious because I am happy with my job and the lifestyle it lets me lead. I now suspect the primary reason I did not find anyone in my 20s was sporadic depression triggered by physical symptoms I now have diagnosed and treated but the dating pool is shallow now. I dislike going to mid-Singles activities as being around them is depressing.

As to the women in my pool many are bitter about their status in life. Many have let themselves go physically or have become or always were boring or have grown comfortable living on a pittance income waiting for a prince to come rescue them or just have unpleasant personalities. A significant portion are also faithless and are only sticking around because it is all they know or, worse, have morphed the gospel into an unscriptural feel good religion. Ironically the feel-good religion types are almost always unhappy. That is probably the biggest problem. Most are very unhappy and are perversely comfortable in their misery.

One wise woman in my mid-singles group suggested we invite couples in the stake with marital problems to visit mid-singles activities so they know what they have to come back to. She suggested it would save a lot of marriages.

Nebor ..this last paragraph speaks volumes.  I look back and think of the little squabbles my husband and I had..and I just think...gees..we were so stupid.  I don't want to really get married..and yet..I am just so alone!

Edited to add:  I am not a college graduate..I work at Walmart for heck's sakes..but see..things like that don't even matter to me anymore..that is silly stuff and college has nothing to do with life experience and character.

Edited by Jeanne
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19 minutes ago, Johnnie Cake said:

But I'm guessing you still choose to live in your basement...for old times sake right?  Yeah my allowance check from my elderly parents have been slow and I don't have money to upgrade my system...but maybe if I forgo my daily donut allowance, I might upgrade to a Commodore 64 next month

I am in Texas. Sadly we do not have basements. If I need the cave feel in my office I have to pull down the blinds.

Try Hunt the Wumpus until you can upgrade. Great game.

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17 minutes ago, ttribe said:

Right, except that there is no objective way to differentiate between the two.

One would hope you would have revelation throughout your life so you can develop a bit of discernment about what is and is not revelation. If your first attempt at heavenly counsel is asking if you should marry someone you are probably going to get it wrong.

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11 minutes ago, Jeanne said:

Nebor ..this last paragraph speaks volumes.  I look back and think of the little squabbles my husband and I had..and I just think...gees..we were so stupid.  I don't want to really get married..and yet..I am just so alone!

Edited to add:  I am not a college graduate..I work at Walmart for heck's sakes..but see..things like that don't even matter to me anymore..that is silly stuff and college has nothing to do with life experience and character.

Yeah, the loneliness gets rough. I am hoping it builds character or something. My main worry spiritually is that since most of my actions in my life are designed to benefit me (work, financial planning, cooking, etc.) that selfishness is a real danger. Probably why it is not good to be alone. I volunteer and spend time with nieces and nephews to give their parents a break to try to head off being self-absorbed. I think it is helping. Just hope it is enough.

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5 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

I am in Texas. Sadly we do not have basements. If I need the cave feel in my office I have to pull down the blinds.

Try Hunt the Wumpus until you can upgrade. Great game.

I've learned more about YOU in this thread than in all the threads you've posted in in all the years I've been here.  You're a real human being.  (assuming that you've been honest)

Edited by Johnnie Cake
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1 minute ago, The Nehor said:

One would hope you would have revelation throughout your life so you can develop a bit of discernment about what is and is not revelation. If your first attempt at heavenly counsel is asking if you should marry someone you are probably going to get it wrong.

Indeed.  Which is why I consider JLHPROF's statement to be dangerous.  How many college freshmen have significant revelatory experience along those lines?

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6 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

Yeah, the loneliness gets rough. I am hoping it builds character or something. My main worry spiritually is that since most of my actions in my life are designed to benefit me (work, financial planning, cooking, etc.) that selfishness is a real danger. Probably why it is not good to be alone. I volunteer and spend time with nieces and nephews to give their parents a break to try to head off being self-absorbed. I think it is helping. Just hope it is enough.

I understand what you are saying. I waited a long time it seems for my kids to get on with  it...and yet..when they call and say.."I need..or can you"..It seems to save me.  My own spirituality and that selfishness doesn't work together very well.  So...when I talk to God..I ask him to help the people I love and tell him I am okay.  I so admire you.  It is hard..you think and have conversations with yourself...and good day there is no one to tell..and why would  you even tell???  Best to you Nehor..with your humor and love for others..you are being who you are supposed to be. 

Edited by Jeanne
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4 minutes ago, Johnnie Cake said:

I've learned more about YOU in this thread than in all the threads you've posted in in all the years I've been here.  You're a real human being.  (assuming that you've been honest)

My cover identity is finally taking hold. Time to put on some spandex and protect this city from evil doers and super villains.

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2 minutes ago, ttribe said:

Indeed.  Which is why I consider JLHPROF's statement to be dangerous.  How many college freshmen have significant revelatory experience along those lines?

I would hope lots of LDS kids do. I had a lot through seminary and a bunch more on my mission but I do not have any numbers to back that up.

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8 minutes ago, ttribe said:

Indeed.  Which is why I consider JLHPROF's statement to be dangerous.  How many college freshmen have significant revelatory experience along those lines?

When I was there this was joked about...being told by someone just met marriage was their destiny and believing it, so that particular scenario is, imo, probably rather rare.

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15 minutes ago, Calm said:

When I was there this was joked about...being told by someone just met marriage was their destiny and believing it, so that particular scenario is, imo, probably rather rare.

Rare...but happened to a girl home from college in my ward this summer. She had to repeatedly and forcefully tell the guy she was not interested and get her family involved to keep him away. He believes God told him they were destined to be together and the scariest part is he really believes it.

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20 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

I would hope lots of LDS kids do. I had a lot through seminary and a bunch more on my mission but I do not have any numbers to back that up.

My anecdotal observation is that you may be overestimating the average.

15 minutes ago, Calm said:

When I was there this was joked about...being told by someone just met marriage was their destiny and believing it, so that particular scenario is, imo, probably rather rare.

I'm sure it's rare.  But it's an example for rhetorical effect to be thought provoking.

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3 hours ago, The Nehor said:

Singles Wards are not always bad. Mid-Singles groups and their rare wards almost always are.

Meet up groups, have you heard of them? They might be a meat market too. But pick something you like to do and go for it, you never know!

I'm not sure what town you're in so I just put in Dallas Texas meet up groups and this popped up. https://www.meetup.com/cities/us/tx/dallas/

You and anyone else who's interested can just put their town and state and all kinds of things pop up. I've even looked at the groups, it doesn't matter if you're single or married.

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36 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

Meet up groups, have you heard of them? They might be a meat market too. But pick something you like to do and go for it, you never know!

I'm not sure what town you're in so I just put in Dallas Texas meet up groups and this popped up. https://www.meetup.com/cities/us/tx/dallas/

You and anyone else who's interested can just put their town and state and all kinds of things pop up. I've even looked at the groups, it doesn't matter if you're single or married.

Oh, I am involved in a lot of stuff. Game nights, paddleboarding on the lake, wakeboarding, hiking, sparring. I do not feel limited to Mid-Singles activities. I go to them only rarely. I go to a dance once a year as a remind to myself why I do not go to dances.

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If there are any girls out there who want better odds - all you have to do is major in engineering.  Only 14% of engineers are women according to ASME.  

of course, there is a saying amongst engineering women - "engineering - where the odds are good, but the goods are odd."

and another saying by the men - "engineering - where the men are men, and so are the women..." ← which is NOT true, you do not need to be a nerd, or manly, to be an engineer.  You just have to be creative, and have a desire to improve the world through tangible creations.

 

Edited by changed
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