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Ahab

Would you ever condone sexual relations before marriage?

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1 hour ago, Ahab said:

or would you somehow bring up the fact that you won't stay in the same beach house with them if they stay in the same room with each other?

This is not a gospel of toxic shame.  What message do you think that would send her?  "You are so filthy and loathsome that I cannot even bear your presence".  That may not be the words that come out of your mouth, but that is what she would hear.  Nothing can be more damaging to the soul than toxic shame.  It does not turn us to Christ, it makes us hide from him, as Adam, in shame.  Who do you think made Adam feel shame?  It is one of the greatest tools of the adversary.  Was it not Lucifer that whispered in his ear something like, "boy, you have done it now! See that you are naked.  You have ruined everything!  God will never accept you like this, quick hide!"  Don't be a devil Ahab!  Such toxic and smug behavior will turn people to the shadows, not to the light. 

Edited by pogi

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13 minutes ago, Ahab said:

My sister is the sort of person who would ask before bringing somebody like that to a family reunion, and I am the sort of person who is open and honest and very direct when sharing my feelings and beliefs with others who are close to me.

Not sure if she's going to want to bring this one with her this time, but... don't worry, I'll respond appropriately if she does.

As a big brother, the eldest brother, should.

I'd imagine she already knows your feelings on this topic and what you feel is right for you.  I doubt you'd need to repeat them.  Just tell her you love her and want her at the reunion.

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I generally agree with the sentiment to live and let live. The determination, however, to countenance these lifestyles is based simply on the standard of what is legal & consensual. Is that the litmus? What if the family member in question brought TWO sexual partners ? And yes, I'm pushing the envelope in order to tease out what the determining factor is. In light of the thread's scenario, is there ever a time when one should not countenance such arrangements? Is it always live and let live?

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