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What Two Religions Tell Us About The Modern Dating Crisis


JAHS

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"A study from Trinity College’s American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS) on the demographics of Mormons. According to the ARIS study, there are now 150 Mormon women for every 100 Mormon men in the state of Utah—a 50 percent oversupply of women. 

 

The lopsided numbers encourage Mormon men to hold out for the perfect wife, Blake said. “I call it the paradox of choice,” she explained. “For men, there are so many choices that choices are not made. The dream for the Mormon man is to get married and have six kids. As he ages, his dream never changes. But when you’re a thirty-seven-year-old woman, you’ve already aged out of that dream.”

 

Mormon men take full advantage. “They wait for the next, more perfect woman,” grumbled Bowman, a veterinarian in San Diego. Premarital sex remains taboo for Mormons, but the shortage of Mormon men was pushing some women over the brink. “There might actually be a more promiscuous dating culture than there otherwise would be in the Mormon culture because of this gap.”

 

Hunt, a 35-year-old who only recently got married herself, told me she has three times more single women than single men in her matchmaking database. She shared stories of devout Mormon women who wound up marrying outside the religion—officially known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints—simply because they had no other options. She has ten friends—“all good LDS girls!”—who gave up on finding a husband and decided to have children on their own. Said Hunt, “My heartstrings are pulled daily.”

 


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I can imagine how profitable a dating service would be that surveyed different faiths' rate of men to women for various locations...and offered specials on moving and job-hunting for those areas of high imbalance, whether high female or male.

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I guess I'm trying to figure out how this 100/150 ratio occurs.  I thought births were very slightly skewed towards boys, which edges out to 50/50 by the time it's time to get married.

 

Or is it that too many men leave the church?

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I guess I'm trying to figure out how this 100/150 ratio occurs.  I thought births were very slightly skewed towards boys, which edges out to 50/50 by the time it's time to get married.

 

Or is it that too many men leave the church?

 

They said men were leaving in great numbers! And we should believe that because....I forget because there was zip documentation. Even more odd is they use a rather radical Mormon feminist whose narrative is that women are leaving in great numbers to speak for Utah Mormons who have apparently forgotten there is no eternal penalty for those who loose out on the marriage lottery beyond having to listen to endless sermons on marriage and children. I think we need to flip a coin and determine if more men or women are leaving. It might all even out.

 

Now I'm as confused as this article. I'm still trying to figure out why the higher numbers of males at BYU don't count....and what small orthodox Jewish sects with arranged marriages have to do with any of this. 

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They said men were leaving in great numbers! And we should believe that because....I forget because there was zip documentation. Even more odd is they use a rather radical Mormon feminist whose narrative is that women are leaving in great numbers to speak for Utah Mormons who have apparently forgotten there is no eternal penalty for those who loose out on the marriage lottery beyond having to listen to endless sermons on marriage and children. I think we need to flip a coin and determine if more men or women are leaving. It might all even out.

 

Now I'm as confused as this article. I'm still trying to figure out why the higher numbers of males at BYU don't count....and what small orthodox Jewish sects with arranged marriages have to do with any of this. 

I am also trying to figure out what women having boob jobs has to do with it all. Maybe if the women had more boob jobs less men would leave the church? (.)(.) >>> ( . )( . )

Edited by JAHS
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My soldier/son/RM would love to know eligible LDS women. But he is stationed in NY above the arctic circle.

 

Wait... what??  New York is above the arctic circle?  My geographic knowledge is all hosed up, then.

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They said men were leaving in great numbers! And we should believe that because....I forget because there was zip documentation. Even more odd is they use a rather radical Mormon feminist whose narrative is that women are leaving in great numbers to speak for Utah Mormons who have apparently forgotten there is no eternal penalty for those who loose out on the marriage lottery beyond having to listen to endless sermons on marriage and children. I think we need to flip a coin and determine if more men or women are leaving. It might all even out.

 

Now I'm as confused as this article. I'm still trying to figure out why the higher numbers of males at BYU don't count....and what small orthodox Jewish sects with arranged marriages have to do with any of this. 

 

Ah, I see.

 

This resonates with me.  I am a firm believer in the claim that 83% of statistics are made up on the spot.  Like this one was.

 

I can only see what's happening in my ward.  Hardly any previously active males have fallen away from the church in the 30 years I've been there. Don't know why.  Maybe we're just as strong as the hills around us.  Heh.

Edited by Stargazer
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“At BYU, a lot of Mormons my age don’t consider oral sex to be sex,” said Wheelwright.

What a load of BS! The whole time I was reading this all I could think that these people must live in a different universe than I do. My experience in dating here at BYU has been nothing like it is portrayed here. I highly doubt that the amount of boob jobs in Salt Lake City has anything to do with LDS dating. I'd be willing to bet that the majority of those people are already married or with partners.

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Where were all these girls when I was dating?

Course ignorant matter to me anymore since I got my wife

Apparently, she didn't get the memo that I wasn't marriage material (I was actually going to bask a girl out who stated that there was no marriage material in the ward. It annoyed me so much that I didn't. Who am I? What about all my friends who were awesome though sometimes awkward guys. Really pissed me off. Should have said something at the time. Yes I know long side note)

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Where were all these girls when I was dating?

Course ignorant matter to me anymore since I got my wife

Apparently, she didn't get the memo that I wasn't marriage material (I was actually going to bask a girl out who stated that there was no marriage material in the ward. It annoyed me so much that I didn't. Who am I? What about all my friends who were awesome though sometimes awkward guys. Really pissed me off. Should have said something at the time. Yes I know long side note)

 

The heart wants what the heart wants.

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The heart wants what the heart wants.

 

Many RM dudes are looking for a beutiful LDS girl, many won't cosider a girl that is overweight or simply not attractive.

The same problem existed in the 19th century, Heber C. Kimball said (according to Stanley P. Hirshson), "The brother missionaries have been in the habit of picking out the prettiest women for themselves before they get here, and bringing on the ugly ones for us"

 

Some missionaries are working hard because they want to be blessed with a beutiful and attractive wife. 

I had a friend (LDS and solder) who always talked to a lot of girls, except overweight girls.

 

As for the sisters, here in my stake there are far more single men than single women, many of the sisters refuse to date some of my friends. My friends are very sad about that, it is a frequent problem, women are too picky here. However, it is their fault because they only want to date the beautiful girls. 

 

I myself didn't date a single girl here in my stake, I wanted to, but no girl was interested, so I had to date a LDS girl from another city.

 

I sometimes wonder if many of my LDS brothers and sisters have the aid of the Holy Ghost.

 

PS Perhaps in Utah and Idaho the LDS YSA sisters dress modestly, but it is a big problem here in my stake and in other areas too.

 

 

She shared stories of devout Mormon women who wound up marrying outside the religion—officially known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints—simply because they had no other options.

 

and it is a problem for LDS men in other areas.

Edited by TheSkepticChristian
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I admit I will not date girls who are seriously overweight. I am in good physical condition for my age and like hiking, running, working out, paddleboarding, riding waves, etc. I also eat reasonably healthy. It is just hard for me to imagine sharing my life with someone who does not care for such things.

I do find the massively overweight guys in my area who have similar standards hopelessly deluded.

Edited by The Nehor
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My soldier/son/RM would love to know eligible LDS women. But he is stationed in NY above the arctic circle.

Huh. :huh:  You learn something new every day, even about geography, here at MA&DB.  Who knew? :unknw:

 

;)  (Best wishes to your son, to you, and your family, and please convey my sincere thanks for his service. :))

 

P.S. Re: Geography - I see Stargazer beat me to the punch(line) on that one.  Good call. :good:

 

P.P.S.: It would be, but, see, there's this little country called Canada in the way. ;):D  That reminds me, I work for a contractor on a contract with Lexus for Lexus Enform, the company's in-vehicle service that includes GPS navigation.  I'm a Destination Assist Agent.  If someone wants directions to go somewhere they can call us, and we'll download them to the GPS.  The service includes Canada, but our Destination Assist database does not, so we have to find the destination on another map (if we're very lucky :rolleyes:), then pinpoint it on the Destination Assist map.  We're zooming in and out on two maps, trying to play "Pin the Tail on the Donkey."  Of course, our customer is ignorant of all of this.  I swear, if I hear one more person with a Canadian accent ask me, "Are you having trouble?" I'm going to send him to the Arctic Circle ... or at least to Nunavut, which is close enough! <_<

Edited by Kenngo1969
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So by not marrying I am causing people to give up hope and sin? Good to know. :)

Hey, at least we're good for something. :friends:

 

(I know that should probably be more of a "bro hug," but it was all I could come up with.  Sorry.  :huh:  For the record, The Nehor is one of the most masculine, manly, he-men I know. ;))

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Hey, at least we're good for something. :friends:

 

(I know that should probably be more of a "bro hug," but it was all I could come up with.  Sorry.  :huh:  For the record, The Nehor is one of the most masculine, manly, he-men I know. ;))

Doubt that, I am more of a nerd, just an athletic and often outdoorsy one.

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"A study from Trinity College’s American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS) on the demographics of Mormons. According to the ARIS study, there are now 150 Mormon women for every 100 Mormon men in the state of Utah—a 50 percent oversupply of women. 
... She shared stories of devout Mormon women who wound up marrying outside the religion—officially known as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints—simply because they had no other options. ...

 

Or, perhaps they simply didn't like the options they had.  Men aren't the only ones who can be picky, you know.  I have had only one, indispensable, non-negotiable (yet modest) requirement in most all of the time I've been single: she must reciprocate my interest.  That's it.  Easier said than done/found, I suppose.  But, no.  It's all the fault of us evil men because we're only interested in two areas of a woman's anatomy.  (For the record, I've dated girls of every body time, nationality, etc.)

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Doubt that, I am more of a nerd, just an athletic and often outdoorsy one.

OK.  I just didn't want to ruin your "street cred." ;)

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With Ashley Madison wide open, Nehor, you may not find a cougar but there seem to be quite a few Cheetahs available.( I'll be here all week , ba-dump-bump )

I am the same age as the Cougars now. Ashley Madison was mostly fake female profiles to pull in suckers. I went to the list and pulled a list of people who registered for an Ashley Madison account using a company email. I am still not sure whether to judge them more harshly for trying to cheat on their spouse or for being stupid enough to use their company email to open the account. :(

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It is just hard for me to imagine sharing my life with someone who does not care for such things.

 

What a terrible assumption, how do you know all of them don't care? 

 

"Studies of identical twins who have been raised apart show that genes have a strong influence on a person's weight. Overweight and obesity tend to run in families. Your chances of being overweight are greater if one or both of your parents are overweight or obese. Your genes also may affect the amount of fat you store in your body and where on your body you carry the extra fat" 

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/obe/causes

 

So what about a girl that is not attractive? Many LDS RM ignore the girls that are not attractive, the same problem existed in the 19th century, Heber C. Kimball said (according to Stanley P. Hirshson) "The brother missionaries have been in the habit of picking out the prettiest women for themselves before they get here, and bringing on the ugly ones for us" 

 

Why does God create some girls that are attractive and some girls that are not attractive? No offense because my girlfriend (from another city) is not that attractive, but I don't care. How do I know she is not very attractive? because I am the first guy that asked her on a date, the other guys simply ignored her. Not even for a single date!

 

Same with some LDS girls too, some girls are too picky, and are quick to reject a guy based on a prejudiced observation.

Edited by TheSkepticChristian
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