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Kishkumen Jokes?


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#1 Bill Hamblin

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 01:34 PM

Q. What does Kiskuman say when breakfast is ready?

A. Quiche coming!
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#2 USU78

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 01:39 PM

What do you call the curios in Kishkumen's Kabinet?

Kishie's Kitchy Tschotschkes
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#3 Bill Hamblin

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 01:40 PM

How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.
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#4 Smith

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 01:49 PM

How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.


I would have guessed none seeing as they werent invented yet in his time...

Oh, you mean the modern inposter! In that case you are right... :rofl:
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#5 Derl Sanderson

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 02:11 PM

Q. What does Kiskuman say when breakfast is ready?

A. Quiche coming!


I'm Kishkuman, I'm Kishkuman, though my head is bendin' low.
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#6 Daniel Peterson

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 02:32 PM

How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.


Ain't that the truth!
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#7 Scott Lloyd

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 02:34 PM

How do you respond when somebody says Kishkumen's name?

Gesundheit!


Edited by Scott Lloyd, 26 August 2013 - 01:03 PM.

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#8 stemelbow

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 02:36 PM

How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.


That does about sum up the substance of his complaining, to be honest. I know this is all joking around, but this was just too close to true to not comment on.
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#9 wenglund

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 03:21 PM

You may be a Kishkumen if:

You think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi.


You think a stock tip is
advice on worming' your hogs.


You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.


You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company


(complements of http://www.fortogden.../foredneck.html)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-
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#10 wenglund

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Posted 18 March 2013 - 04:00 PM

Now for a couple of my own:

I heard that Kish wanted to grow up to be smart and famous and well-loved. Do you suppose he will ever start working on his dream?

Kish is no fool. He kept accusing Will Schryver of being a misogynist because he saw Will giving back rubs a couple of times.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Edited by wenglund, 18 March 2013 - 04:01 PM.

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#11 Mola Ram Suda Ram

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Posted 19 March 2013 - 07:54 AM

How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.

THey say that things that are truely funny have elements of truth to them.
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#12 wenglund

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Posted 19 March 2013 - 03:08 PM

Once upon a time, Kish went to see his psychiatrist in hopes of finding peace and happiness, and to bring some closure to his recovery from the gospel of love:

Dr. Phil: How long have you been recovering?

Kish: I have been at it for years

Dr. Phil: What have you been doing to recover?

Kish: I spend a lot of time at an online discussion board leveling all sorts of false accusation, spewing hate, and demonizing LDS apologists and pretending I am an ardent advocate for women.

Dr. Phil: How has that worked in bringing you peace?

Kish: Well...Scratch is now my friend and a few people pat me on the back and think I'm cool.

Dr. Phil: Are you kidding me!?! Your approach is like licking door knobs in hopes of curing the common cold. No wonder you have been at it for years. Get real!!

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Edited by wenglund, 19 March 2013 - 03:09 PM.

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#13 The Grimace

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Posted 19 March 2013 - 06:03 PM

How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.


Kishkumen has a blog? Link please!
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#14 wenglund

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Posted 19 March 2013 - 10:28 PM

Kishkumen has a blog? Link please!


You are CFRing a joke? Now that's funny.

(P.S. at the risk of ruining the JOKE by having to explain it to the daft and humor impaired, it doesn't claim that Kish has "a blog" (noun), but speaks of 99 Kishs "to blog" (verb)--which is a term that may be loosely applied to participation on discussion boards and commenting on social networks, etc..)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-
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My Blogs; Good in the World and  Leftist LUNCs (Law of Unintended Negative Consequences) of the Week

For as their laws and their governments were established by the voice of the people, and they who chose evil were more numerous than they who chose good, therefore they were ripening for destruction, for the laws had become corrupted. (Helaman 5:2}


#15 urroner

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 03:53 AM

How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.


Bill, I don't know where you get your info, but it's wrong, terribly wrong.

How many Kishlumens (lumens - ha ha ha, totally awesome there Bill.) does it take to replace a light bulb?
100 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb, but none to replace it. Tru Kishlumens prefer to live in the dark and blame others. It gives their lives meaning and purpose.
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Urroner

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#16 The Grimace

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 04:29 AM

You are CFRing a joke? Now that's funny.

(P.S. at the risk of ruining the JOKE by having to explain it to the daft and humor impaired, it doesn't claim that Kish has "a blog" (noun), but speaks of 99 Kishs "to blog" (verb)--which is a term that may be loosely applied to participation on discussion boards and commenting on social networks, etc..)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-


See, now the joke isn't so funny. If Kish had a blog and compulsively blogged about Dan Peterson, the joke would be funny because it would be a clever commentary on what Kishkumen actually did.

However, 'blogging' is specifically defined as 'updating a blog', and a 'blog' is distinct from a 'message board'. Since Kishkumen doesn't have a blog, it follows that he doesn't blog, and so the joke kinda falls flat.

The strange irony is that Dan Peterson actually has a blog, yet he is not the subject of a joke.
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#17 urroner

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 04:47 AM

The strange irony is that Dan Peterson actually has a blog, yet he is not the subject of a joke.


Sorry Grimace, but have you ever seen how those on the other board threat Dr. Dan? BTW, he is poked fun of by his friends and he takes that in good humor.

But then again, I might have just misunderstood what you were trying to convey when you said "yet he is not the subject of a joke." Did I miss something?

Dang, Dr. Dan even pokes fun of himself all the time.
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#18 The Grimace

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 05:08 AM

Sorry Grimace, but have you ever seen how those on the other board threat Dr. Dan? BTW, he is poked fun of by his friends and he takes that in good humor.

But then again, I might have just misunderstood what you were trying to convey when you said "yet he is not the subject of a joke." Did I miss something?

Dang, Dr. Dan even pokes fun of himself all the time.


No, I was just pointing out the irony - Dan blogs, Kishkumen doesn't, yet Kish is made fun of for blogging about Dan. That's all.

Though, I don't recall ever seeing Dan threatened over on the other board. Just trying to play fair here.
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#19 The Grimace

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 05:14 AM

Perhaps the irony is the genius of the joke? Saying 'Kish blogs' is funny because he doesn't actually blog! Maybe I've picked up on the subtlety here, intended or otherwise, and the joke is really, "Kish is a luddite".

Though some, myself included, find 'luddite' to be high praise in this age of digital overload.
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#20 Tacenda

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Posted 20 March 2013 - 06:01 AM

Sorry Grimace, but have you ever seen how those on the other board threat Dr. Dan? BTW, he is poked fun of by his friends and he takes that in good humor.

But then again, I might have just misunderstood what you were trying to convey when you said "yet he is not the subject of a joke." Did I miss something?

Dang, Dr. Dan even pokes fun of himself all the time.

I thought all this was crazy stuff until I spied in on the stuff over on the other board. The jokes here are at the most PG rated. The jokes there are so R rated and not even funny.
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