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Bill Hamblin

Kishkumen Jokes?

30 posts in this topic

Q. What does Kiskuman say when breakfast is ready?

A. Quiche coming!

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What do you call the curios in Kishkumen's Kabinet?

Kishie's Kitchy Tschotschkes

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How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.

I would have guessed none seeing as they werent invented yet in his time...

Oh, you mean the modern inposter! In that case you are right... :rofl:

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Q. What does Kiskuman say when breakfast is ready?

A. Quiche coming!

I'm Kishkuman, I'm Kishkuman, though my head is bendin' low.

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How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.

Ain't that the truth!

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How do you respond when somebody says Kishkumen's name?

Gesundheit!

Edited by Scott Lloyd
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How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.

That does about sum up the substance of his complaining, to be honest. I know this is all joking around, but this was just too close to true to not comment on.

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You may be a Kishkumen if:

You think Sherlock Holmes is a

housing project down in Biloxi.

You think a stock tip is

advice on worming' your hogs.

You've been married three times

and still have the same in-laws.

You think TACO BELL is

the Mexican Phone Company

(complements of http://www.fortogden.com/foredneck.html)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

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Now for a couple of my own:

I heard that Kish wanted to grow up to be smart and famous and well-loved. Do you suppose he will ever start working on his dream?

Kish is no fool. He kept accusing Will Schryver of being a misogynist because he saw Will giving back rubs a couple of times.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Edited by wenglund
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How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.

THey say that things that are truely funny have elements of truth to them.
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Once upon a time, Kish went to see his psychiatrist in hopes of finding peace and happiness, and to bring some closure to his recovery from the gospel of love:

Dr. Phil: How long have you been recovering?

Kish: I have been at it for years

Dr. Phil: What have you been doing to recover?

Kish: I spend a lot of time at an online discussion board leveling all sorts of false accusation, spewing hate, and demonizing LDS apologists and pretending I am an ardent advocate for women.

Dr. Phil: How has that worked in bringing you peace?

Kish: Well...Scratch is now my friend and a few people pat me on the back and think I'm cool.

Dr. Phil: Are you kidding me!?! Your approach is like licking door knobs in hopes of curing the common cold. No wonder you have been at it for years. Get real!!

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Edited by wenglund
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How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.

Kishkumen has a blog? Link please!

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Kishkumen has a blog? Link please!

You are CFRing a joke? Now that's funny.

(P.S. at the risk of ruining the JOKE by having to explain it to the daft and humor impaired, it doesn't claim that Kish has "a blog" (noun), but speaks of 99 Kishs "to blog" (verb)--which is a term that may be loosely applied to participation on discussion boards and commenting on social networks, etc..)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

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How many Kishlumens does it take to replace a light bulb?

100. One to replace the bulb and 99 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb.

Bill, I don't know where you get your info, but it's wrong, terribly wrong.

How many Kishlumens (lumens - ha ha ha, totally awesome there Bill.) does it take to replace a light bulb?

100 to blog about how Dan Peterson is to blame for the burnt out bulb, but none to replace it. Tru Kishlumens prefer to live in the dark and blame others. It gives their lives meaning and purpose.

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You are CFRing a joke? Now that's funny.

(P.S. at the risk of ruining the JOKE by having to explain it to the daft and humor impaired, it doesn't claim that Kish has "a blog" (noun), but speaks of 99 Kishs "to blog" (verb)--which is a term that may be loosely applied to participation on discussion boards and commenting on social networks, etc..)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

See, now the joke isn't so funny. If Kish had a blog and compulsively blogged about Dan Peterson, the joke would be funny because it would be a clever commentary on what Kishkumen actually did.

However, 'blogging' is specifically defined as 'updating a blog', and a 'blog' is distinct from a 'message board'. Since Kishkumen doesn't have a blog, it follows that he doesn't blog, and so the joke kinda falls flat.

The strange irony is that Dan Peterson actually has a blog, yet he is not the subject of a joke.

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The strange irony is that Dan Peterson actually has a blog, yet he is not the subject of a joke.

Sorry Grimace, but have you ever seen how those on the other board threat Dr. Dan? BTW, he is poked fun of by his friends and he takes that in good humor.

But then again, I might have just misunderstood what you were trying to convey when you said "yet he is not the subject of a joke." Did I miss something?

Dang, Dr. Dan even pokes fun of himself all the time.

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Sorry Grimace, but have you ever seen how those on the other board threat Dr. Dan? BTW, he is poked fun of by his friends and he takes that in good humor.

But then again, I might have just misunderstood what you were trying to convey when you said "yet he is not the subject of a joke." Did I miss something?

Dang, Dr. Dan even pokes fun of himself all the time.

No, I was just pointing out the irony - Dan blogs, Kishkumen doesn't, yet Kish is made fun of for blogging about Dan. That's all.

Though, I don't recall ever seeing Dan threatened over on the other board. Just trying to play fair here.

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Perhaps the irony is the genius of the joke? Saying 'Kish blogs' is funny because he doesn't actually blog! Maybe I've picked up on the subtlety here, intended or otherwise, and the joke is really, "Kish is a luddite".

Though some, myself included, find 'luddite' to be high praise in this age of digital overload.

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Sorry Grimace, but have you ever seen how those on the other board threat Dr. Dan? BTW, he is poked fun of by his friends and he takes that in good humor.

But then again, I might have just misunderstood what you were trying to convey when you said "yet he is not the subject of a joke." Did I miss something?

Dang, Dr. Dan even pokes fun of himself all the time.

I thought all this was crazy stuff until I spied in on the stuff over on the other board. The jokes here are at the most PG rated. The jokes there are so R rated and not even funny.
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See, now the joke isn't so funny. If Kish had a blog and compulsively blogged about Dan Peterson, the joke would be funny because it would be a clever commentary on what Kishkumen actually did.

However, 'blogging' is specifically defined as 'updating a blog', and a 'blog' is distinct from a 'message board'. Since Kishkumen doesn't have a blog, it follows that he doesn't blog, and so the joke kinda falls flat.

I think we all know the difference between a blog and a message board, but in practice there is not much difference. Both are designed to speak one's mind, share, or even rationalize. Kish essentially blogs about DCP more regularly than I go to the bathroom, eat and scratch myself, which is a pretty sad reality if ya think about it.

The strange irony is that Dan Peterson actually has a blog, yet he is not the subject of a joke.

He's not? He is frequently subject of a joke--indeed at a certain locale I'm guessing he's been the subject of about 15 jokes today alone. Thus, the jokes here and why they have stricken such a cord.

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See, now the joke isn't so funny. If Kish had a blog and compulsively blogged about Dan Peterson, the joke would be funny because it would be a clever commentary on what Kishkumen actually did.

However, 'blogging' is specifically defined as 'updating a blog', and a 'blog' is distinct from a 'message board'. Since Kishkumen doesn't have a blog, it follows that he doesn't blog, and so the joke kinda falls flat.

The strange irony is that Dan Peterson actually has a blog, yet he is not the subject of a joke.

Your overly serious, narrow-minded, humor-impaired, and ****retentive responses make the joke all the more funny. :good:

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

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Kish's finger was broken the other day. Evidently, someone had punched him in the nose.

(For Grimace's benefit, the irony of the joke is, Kish's finger wasn't broken, it was his thumb, but I have broken several fingers in my day)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Edited by wenglund
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The strange irony is that Dan Peterson actually has a blog, yet he is not the subject of a joke.

I honestly couldn't care less if people choose to tell Peterson jokes. I tell them. So why not?

And it's true that I have a blog. Please feel free to go through it and count how many of the entries on it -- and to calculate what percentage of them -- deal primarily or even in passing with Kishkumen.

I'd be very surprised if it reached 0.5%.

By contrast, Kishkumen routinely posts about me and my evil works. Often many times a day.

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I thought all this was crazy stuff until I spied in on the stuff over on the other board. The jokes here are at the most PG rated. The jokes there are so R rated and not even funny.

Thanks for the fair-minded report.

Your experience of the Other Place probably helps you understand a tad better why some of us decided to have just tiny bit of fun here at its expense.

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