14 replies to this topic

[urroner]

People, it's football season again.  The angels are singing and the members of the pre-mortal Grand Council are all decked out in their BYU shirts and pants.  They have their easy chairs kicked back, the surround sound systems are cranked up, their BYU flags are flapping in the breeze, and they're probably driving the spouses and children crazy.

It's Washington State vs BYU tomorrow night in Provo.

For all you boobs out that can't get to the game, like me, for whatever reason,  you can listen to the game over the Lord's radio station KSL or over Dr. Dan's favorite BYUradio (at least, that is what I've heard, but it hasn't been verified) or, if you are blessed enough to afford cable, ESPN is the place to go.

Sadly, it comes on at 8:15 p.m. MDT.  For you naive, callow, unschooled, cornfed, rubish bumpkins out west, that might be fine, but for us sophisticated, cultured, well-bred, noble, patrician city slickers who reside mostly in the civilized world, that's like 10:15 p.m. and the game won't get over until after midnight, but gratefully, I don't have to work for a living, I'm EMPLOYED by the Federal Government.

Also, if you don't mind watching a rebroadcast of the game, it can be seen on byuTV at the following dates and times.

Aug 31 at 12:00AM (MT)
Aug 31 at 7:00PM (MT)
Aug 31 at 10:30PM (MT)

No excuse people for not watching nor listening to the game, unless you're a plebe, OIW, a BYU player hater.  In this case, I beg you to please seek help.  This will eventually lead to self loathing and severe mental disabilities.  For help, please call 1-888-ILUVBYU.  I will pray for your soul.

Oh, and for you silly UofU (ewts) fans

[urroner]

BTW, I understand that this Sunday, this will be the opening song in all sacrament meetings.  If you're not Mormon and go to church, please encourage your preacher, priest, or spiritual leader to truly humble him/herself and find true joy in this life by singing this song.



Here are the words.  Please memorize them.  If you want to get into heaven and past St. Moroni, St. Peter is on vacation right now, so St. Moroni is watching them Pearly Gates, there might be a test on knowing the song.  I will greet you on the other side of the gate and joyfully accept all the thanks and adulations(if you don't know this word, please click it, and here is the link for the definition of the word "servile") you will offer me and I will be totally humble about receiving it.  Bless you all my children.

The Cougar Song

O Rise, all loyal Cougars and hurl your challenge to the foe.
You will fight, day or night, rain or snow.
Loyal, Strong, and True
Wear the White and Blue.
While we sing, get set to spring.
Come on Cougars, it's up to you!

CHORUS:
O Rise and Shout, the Cougars are out
Along the trail to fame and glory.
Rise and shout, our cheers will ring out,
As you unfold your vict'ry story.
On you go to vanquish the foe
For Alma Mater's sons and daughters.
As we join in song, in praise of you, our faith is strong.
We'll raise our colors high in the blue,
And cheer the Cougars of BYU.

CHANT:
"Ra, ra, ra, ra, ra (3x) GO COUGARS!"

[volgadon]

This "football" (more properly know as carry-a-torpedo-shaped-thingy-in-your-hands-ball) is an abomination, it is anathema.

[jwhitlock]

Trash talking at its best!

[Garden Girl]

Thank goodness... I felt parched from the lack of sports this past few months... I'm nuts over BYU sports, and have always loved football (fall is in the air; crisp afternoons or nights; rooting for the team!).  But 2 years ago I discovered BYU Volleyball!!  (The Sandman, Futi Tavana and all the team).
I've always preferred football to basketball, probably because of the antics of prof basketball players, etc.  But then I discovered BYU Basketball (Jimmer, Noah Hartsock, and the rest of  the team).
I watch on BYU-TV... when I shout at the TV screen, Bobbie-cat gets this look... oh well... it's the COUGARS!  Rah Rah Rah Rah Rah!!!

GG

[Pa Pa]

Garden Girl, on 29 August 2012 - 09:22 AM, said:

Thank goodness... I felt parched from the lack of sports this past few months... I'm nuts over BYU sports, and have always loved football (fall is in the air; crisp afternoons or nights; rooting for the team!).  But 2 years ago I discovered BYU Volleyball!!  (The Sandman, Futi Tavana and all the team).
I've always preferred football to basketball, probably because of the antics of prof basketball players, etc.  But then I discovered BYU Basketball (Jimmer, Noah Hartsock, and the rest of  the team).
I watch on BYU-TV... when I shout at the TV screen, Bobbie-cat gets this look... oh well... it's the COUGARS!  Rah Rah Rah Rah Rah!!!

GG

Not uncommon from a grad from BYU.

[urroner]

jwhitlock, on 29 August 2012 - 08:07 AM, said:

Trash talking at its best!

I love trash talking, if it's done in humor and respect.  The gods of woof have struck me down one too many times for flapping my gums for the wrong reasons.

[urroner]

volgadon, on 29 August 2012 - 07:42 AM, said:

This "football" (more properly know as carry-a-torpedo-shaped-thingy-in-your-hands-ball) is an abomination, it is anathema.

Sorry volg if the intricacies and fine details of football in boring to you, but a long time ago that tic tac toe, for most of us, became rather boring.  You are still young and much to learn young grasshopper.  And you have said two excellent words that started with "a."  Excellent!!!

[jwhitlock]

urroner, on 29 August 2012 - 06:56 PM, said:

I love trash talking, if it's done in humor and respect.  The gods of woof have struck me down one too many times for flapping my gums for the wrong reasons.

Yer right. Well done trash talking is one of the most entertaining things on the planet. And sometimes there's the side benefit of sucking someone in who doesn't realize what's going on and takes it seriously.

It don't get much better than that - except for the Posse from Provo stringing them up each year.

[Peppermint Patty]

Here is a BYU/Utah joke that has become a classic:


Bronco Mendenhall, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around when they came to a modest little house with a faded Cougars flag in the window.

"This house is yours for eternity," said God. "This is very special, not everyone gets a house up here."

The coach felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion that had a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous UTES flag, and in every window was the UTE logo.

The coach looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a good coach. I went to bowl games, sent a bunch of my players on to the pros, and I turned around the entire BYU football program."

God said, "So, what's your question?"

"Well," said the coach, "Why does Kyle Whittingham get a better house than me?"

God responded, "Oh that's not Whittingham's house, that's mine".

[3DOP]

Go Ryan Leaf. You guys are excited about beating Washington State in 2012 (who also call themselves Cougars)?  I'll wear my '98 Rose Bowl Sweatie for the day. But the cause is hopeless. How football time flies sadly. Go Warren Moon. (UW). Go Hugh McElhenny (UW). WSU? WSU?You do know that the game does not need to be played right? You win. The Utah Cougars I mean. You win.

3DOP, aka Washington Boy

[Buzzard]

Peppermint Patty, on 29 August 2012 - 07:29 PM, said:

Here is a BYU/Utah joke that has become a classic:


Bronco Mendenhall, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around when they came to a modest little house with a faded Cougars flag in the window.

"This house is yours for eternity," said God. "This is very special, not everyone gets a house up here."

The coach felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion that had a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous UTES flag, and in every window was the UTE logo.

The coach looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a good coach. I went to bowl games, sent a bunch of my players on to the pros, and I turned around the entire BYU football program."

God said, "So, what's your question?"

"Well," said the coach, "Why does Kyle Whittingham get a better house than me?"

God responded, "Oh that's not Whittingham's house, that's mine".

Funny, when I heard that joke it was backwards from that, with Whittingham getting the modest abode and Gods house decked out in its BYU glory.
On a related note, my ticket is securely resting in my shirt pocket, and I am trying real hard to be semi-productive at work. For us BYU fans, it's Cougmas!

[Buzzard]

urroner, on 29 August 2012 - 05:44 AM, said:

The Cougar Song

O Rise, all loyal Cougars ye men in blue and hurl your challenge to the foe.
You will fight, day or night, rain or snow.
Loyal, Strong, and True Stalwart men and true
Wear the White and Blue.
While we sing, get set to spring.
Come on Cougars, it's up to you!

CHORUS:
O Rise and Shout, the Cougars are out
Along the trail to fame and glory.
Rise and shout, our cheers will ring out,
As you unfold your vict'ry story.
On you go to vanquish the foe
For Alma Mater's sons and daughters.
As we join in song, in praise of you, our faith is strong.
We'll raise our colors high in the blue,
And cheer the Cougars of BYU.

CHANT:
"Ra, ra, ra, ra, ra (3x) GO COUGARS!"

I fixed it for you. These are the original, pre-PC lyrics. You are welcome

[Anijen]

Go Cougars!



Nope i'm not much of a trash talker.

[Garden Girl]

I watched the game on BYU-TV and loved it even though it was kind of one sided (BYU).
GO COUGARS...

Looking forward to a good season... Riley Nelson seems more than able...

GG