Inheritance

[Thinking]

Suppose you have three children. Two of them have lived honorably, the third hasn't. After you die, how will your inheritance be split?

[rpn]

I think that people are prone to see inheritances as symbols of love. The wayward child needs to know they are loved, perhaps more than the non-wayward ones. Hence, the inheritance should be equal (without regard to any possibility that one child or more will waste it or even do evil with it). Love can fix things. Judgment only does when it is delivered by God or His representatives.

[Jeff K.]

I leave my inheritance to those who can use it best. I hope it is my children.

[KevinG]

Since my children have been born in the Covenant theirs is to become joint heirs with Christ as long as they are faithful. Like all of Father's children they can receive all that the Father has to give them. There are no fractions of inheritance in this plan as there are with temporal inheritances.

As far as my earthy goods are shared. I will leave that up to them to decide. They share well so I expect them to be charitable with each other after my death.

[urroner]

Like I heard on the radio this morning, he who dies with the most toys isn't the winner, it's he who plays with the most toys. My kids will be lucky to get anything because I don't plan on leaving them very much. When my dad died, I was grateful to get a pocketknife he got from his dad. I just might pass that on, well that and my toenail clipping collection.

[changed]

If we think of "inheritance" as something more than monetary value (inherit beliefs, or inherit a work ethic, or inherit personality characteristics) - and this is the only important inheritance there really is... then the wayward child does not inherit as much (unless the parents were wayward themselves in which case they have inherited everything )

[Jeff K.]

I leave my inheritance to those who can use it best. I hope it is my children.

I see inheritance as being both financial as well as spiritual. I still hold to the point I made, just as God has.

[Stargazer]

Share and share alike.

Unless the dishonorable one has behaved badly with respect to his family. I had one son who stole from me and allowed ex-con friends of his to steal and destroy my property. If this had not changed (he did turn his life around and leads a decent life), he would have not deserved any part of my estate.

[Doctrine 612]

To me it does not matter they are still my child and i love them all equal, I would never rank my children.

[CV75]

The inheritance is not important enough to me, or to them, to base its distribution on honor, so I would leave 1/3 to each. They know that honor is more important than the inheritance, and that is what we leave for each other.

[BCSpace]

Solomon might threaten to donate it all to PBS and the one who says just give it to the other two and I'll go without gets 100%.

[Nathair/|\]

To what I think is the point of the OP:

My great-grandfather started a business in the 1940's. My Grandfather and my father have both done quite well with it in their turn. I'm the oldest son, but I have no interest in it and no aptitude for it. My talents and interests lie in completely other realms. One of my younger brothers and some of my cousins on the other hand would do quite well with the business. It would be in nobody's best interest for me to inherit any portion of it.

On the other hand, of all my family, I would probably make the best use out of their book collection.

Yours under the oaks of stewardship,

Nathair /|\

[Stargazer]

To me it does not matter they are still my child and i love them all equal, I would never rank my children.

My proviso, that a child might though his or her actions, make me cut them off from an inheritance in all justice, doesn't have anything to do with love. Of course I love them all, and grieve for the ones who go astray. All I am saying is that there are conditions under which one's child might make it so one could or should not reward him through inheritance.

Granted, an extreme argument, but such a case as a child assaulting and seriously injuring a sibling, or you or your spouse, or having a history of such. Perhaps you would say, I don't care, but what you would be doing is saying that actions have no consequence, and the children who have revered and respected their family members are just as good as the one who tried to destroy it.

[katherine the great]

If I have a child who is not of right mind or has a drug problem, they would inherit the same as the others but the money would be put in a trust fund and dispensed in a particular way to protect them. If I just don't like their chosen lifestyle, they will inherit the same as the others--no conditions.

Edited July 11, 2011 by katherine the great

[Libs]

I agree with you, Katherine. I had voted to give each child an equal share, but then I started thinking about situations like drug addiction, etc, and thought that just handing a child, with those kinds of problems, a bunch of money, could make their problems even worse. A trust fund would be a good solution.

Edited July 11, 2011 by Libs

[katherine the great]

Since my children have been born in the Covenant theirs is to become joint heirs with Christ as long as they are faithful. Like all of Father's children they can receive all that the Father has to give them. There are no fractions of inheritance in this plan as there are with temporal inheritances.

As far as my earthy goods are shared. I will leave that up to them to decide. They share well so I expect them to be charitable with each other after my death.

You still need a will though or else the lawyers will end up with the Lion's share of your estate and your children will not receive the full benefit of what you wish to give them. (Unless you wish to share your hard earned earthly goods with an unknown, court appointed attorney...)

[Calm]

They share well so I expect them to be charitable with each other after my death.

Unfortunately this can change once inlaws and grandchildren are involved, especially if there are material objects that more than one desire. My grandparents died after one of their sons and that caused some confusion due to different expectations, etc even though they thought they had completely covered all possibilities. The more people involved, the more complicated it gets especially if not all have been equally involved and therefore have different levels of knowledge about the wishes of their parents.

Even in the most balanced of families, there can be issues especially if the parents have helped out certain family members more than others over the years. A parent's death is a very traumatic occasion (and can trigger some long buried emotions), it is important in my opinion not to add to that stress by forcing them to deal with financial issues that you could have resolved prior to death, allowing them to focus on the relationships and other aspects that are much more important in the long run.

In my family there has been some financial problems where my parents have helped out some of their children and not others. In order to keep things fair, this help has been subtracted from the ultimate inheritance. In one case, it is likely that unless things change dramatically, one child will not receive any more than he already has (having already received more than others). In another case, a single childless child who did not have the same opportunity to store up retirement funds due to no fault of her own will receive a double portion so she will not have to be dependent on others. Another child has disowned the family, in order to comply with those desires, that part of the inheritance will be held in trust for the next generation for aid in college or other needs.

In the case above, it would depend on whether we are talking mortality or immortality. In mortality, I would consider such things as financial status (both success and failure) as well as ability to handle money decisions well. I might give one child a greater amount with direction to use that amount to care for others or because the other children were well off and that one had the greater need. If I didn't feel a child was competent, I would likely set up a trust fund as well.

OTOH, in immortality I see the inheritance more dependent on the limits of the child as the inheritance itself is unlimited.

Edited July 12, 2011 by calmoriah

[ERMD]

Since my children have been born in the Covenant theirs is to become joint heirs with Christ as long as they are faithful. Like all of Father's children they can receive all that the Father has to give them. There are no fractions of inheritance in this plan as there are with temporal inheritances.

As far as my earthy goods are shared. I will leave that up to them to decide. They share well so I expect them to be charitable with each other after my death.

It's amazing what people will do when money is involved.

I'd strongly suggest engaging the services of an attorney and making a firm plan.

[Calm]

Since my children have been born in the Covenant theirs is to become joint heirs with Christ as long as they are faithful. Like all of Father's children they can receive all that the Father has to give them. There are no fractions of inheritance in this plan as there are with temporal inheritances.

As far as my earthy goods are shared. I will leave that up to them to decide. They share well so I expect them to be charitable with each other after my death.

Even if you leave it up to them to split the goods, I hope you still have a will so that in case anything happens to you and your wife that it is spelled out who they are to be raised by (prearrangement) and then the money set up so that it is spent wisely so that their latter education as well as any special needs are taken care of (if possible).

[KevinG]

I have a will - thanks for the concern! The "estate" such as it is will be divided equally, I just leave it to the kids to decide who gets what. My brother is executor.

I have seen ugly, up to and including the Aunt and Uncle that drove the U-haul up to Grandmas house during her funeral abnd carted everythign off. The rest of the siblings were so upset the sold the house on the spot for $8000 and pocketed the money (my wifes side).

[Garden Girl]

As far as my earthy goods are shared. I will leave that up to them to decide. They share well so I expect them to be charitable with each other after my death.

Hello Daddy G...

Please don't leave it up to them entirely. You'd be surprised what can happen in families when money or "things" are involved.

At least think about each child and what you have as assets and leave special items, if any, to a particular child... for instance, if you have a particular piece of furniture or set of dishes that was a child's favorite, leave that to them. If you have one that is talented in piano, leave that child the piano. And in doing so, explain what and why...

Then specify that the rest of the estate be sold and the proceeds be divided equally... "Share and share alike."

Believe me that will save a lot of headaches and heartaches down the road and potential ill will between siblings.

Or you can specify that your estate be sold and the proceeds divided equally.

But I wouldn't just leave it up to them.

I should mention that I haven't read the full thread... perhaps some expressed a similar view.

GG

[Calm]

Specifically leaving a child something can add 'value' to that item as it becomes then a personal, meaningful gift rather than something they just acquired along with a bunch of other stuff.

My grandfather built a lot of furniture and specified which pieces went where. This meant a lot to some and less to others (since they hadn't been around when he was making them). I also know that my grandparents took great pleasure in sharing the history of some of the pieces with those they were giving them to, something that likely wouldn't have happened if they had left it up to the kids to choose after they had died.

Edited July 12, 2011 by calmoriah

[KevinG]

OK I hear ya!

I will give specific gifts a thought. That will also give me the excuse to ask them what items that they identify with good memories of our relationship.

[Calm]

OK I hear ya!

I will give specific gifts a thought. That will also give me the excuse to ask them what items that they identify with good memories of our relationship.

It's become kind of a game in my house with only the two kids (one a boy and the other a girl) to split them between (though I am 'holding' some of my parents and grandparents' stuff for other great grandchildren whose parents weren't interested just in case they want a piece of family history). They've already placed their stakes on certain items and that has been helpful to me in understanding what is important to them so I don't give it away by accident thinking it's not that big of a deal, which happened with my parents when they moved (gave away some homemade doll clothing and a dollhouse that my grandfather had made for us as well as some books I was very attached to, wouldn't have been too bad except the family they gave them ended up taking very bad advantage of them so it soured the experience for everyone).

Growing up I didn't think I would care about this kind of stuff, but I've come to realize that I am much more comfortable and happy surrounded by things that have a 'story' to go with them, whether it's how we found it ourselves or some family history.

Edited July 12, 2011 by calmoriah

[KevinG]

It's become kind of a game in my house with only the two kids (one a boy and the other a girl) to split them between (though I am 'holding' some of my parents and grandparents' stuff for other great grandchildren whose parents weren't interested just in case they want a piece of family history). They've already placed their stakes on certain items and that has been helpful to me in understanding what is important to them so I don't give it away by accident thinking it's not that big of a deal, which happened with my parents when they moved (gave away some homemade doll clothing and a dollhouse that my grandfather had made for us as well as some books I was very attached to, wouldn't have been too bad except the family they gave them ended up taking very bad advantage of them so it soured the experience for everyone).

Growing up I didn't think I would care about this kind of stuff, but I've come to realize that I am much more comfortable and happy surrounded by things that have a 'story' to go with them, whether it's how we found it ourselves or some family history.

We play those morbid games too! I think it helps take the fear out of bad things if we discuss them even in jest. My brother and I were joking about our inheritance in front of my Dad and I said "seriously- I think the most important thing to me is the roll-top desk Dad and I refinished together one summer." Two years later when they moved to a smaller house my Dad put the thing on a moving van and sent it to me. I called him with an embarassed apology and he said "don't worry - I know you weren't begging for it but I thought you could enjoy it while I was still alive!"

I hope my children will be good humored about their inheritance. So far they have shown the ability to appreciate their siblings receiving meaningful gifts from me. I try to be equitable and I think they know that.

But the counsel here is good. I should consider some specific meaningful gifts that will make them laugh and cry when I am gone.