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About juliann

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  1. juliann

    Mormon Stories trying to expand its market.

    That is actually kind of funny. So let the Mormons produce the scholarship while he does the hard job of correlating the untrained amateurs.
  2. But it was the women who provided the volume and they would have probably had even more in a normal marriage.
  3. Every. Single. Time. Someone says ALL the wives were happy, it only takes one look into the stories that they tell themselves to see how absurd that is. Some prominent guy wrote in his autobiography that all of his wives loved each other and were happy as clams and this was recited in RS. It was warfare between two of them, IIRC to the point of threats of physical violence. I don’t know how people can keep claiming this nonsense. On one hand they insist it was a test and on the other report how everyone was gleefully happy. I do not know how, in this day and age, so many can continue to pick one man and talk about his progeny as if women were absent. There is so much double talk on polygamy it’s mind boggling.
  4. I googled looking for more about the most important part of this story, his wives. There was nothing beyond mention of “wives.” Especially from his Foundation’s main page. You would think all his wives’ posterity were conjured up by only him. This is one of the most egregious examples of how women are removed from history that I have seen.
  5. What difference would that make? Why is being a descendant of this person anymore important than being a descendant of a wife? What was her name? (And he is nowhere to be seen in my intermountain West clan.) But before this continues, someone is going to have to explain why the heck being a "descendant" of anybody matters. DNA research has pretty much finished off the blood line myths so unless there is some mystical connection that carries on through one magic name and generations to come....it doesn't make one whit of difference. A lot of people don't even know who their ancestors are anyway.
  6. juliann

    Diagnosed with cancer on Tuesday

    Keep us updated, Read.
  7. juliann

    Who is a widow supposed to marry...?

    Welcome, Nikolai! I'm glad you are here. Without the benefit of being part of previous rodeos, I totally understand where you are coming from. It is getting better because a few of us are putting our feet down. But there was a time where we would be shouted down and run out of a thread if we tried to discuss women's concerns. We were called apostate, feminists--meant as an insult, power hungry, etc. etc. I don't consider someone innocent if they have been part of countless explanations, objections, and downright begging to knock it off. Someone can step on my foot and mean no harm at all. But if they refuse to remove their foot after being asked to along with detailed descriptions of the pain they are causing, they are knowingly doing harm. I should add that Star is a great guy. He just won't recognize certain boundaries.
  8. juliann

    Who is a widow supposed to marry...?

    Do you really not remember how many times women have tried to have conversations on topics that affect them in unique ways only to have some men come barreling in with lectures? You are part of that. If you are going to be "trainable" as you put it, you need to be able to admit what you are doing no matter what you "meant" by it. If you can't see the difference in the two responses I posted, you are going to have to have the self control to let the women work it out themselves. The pouty stuff doesn't work. If you can't hold back on the sermons and lectures, of course you should "shut up" and leave. That would be polite to start your own thread about male experiences with sealings and it would be a useful topic. Just not in a thread about women's very different experiences with sealings. But all that is being asked is that you model the first response I posted from a man. I have seen many men step in and help control mansplainers so women don't have to retreat to closed groups to have these discussions. I hope you will be one of those men. Meanwhile, I'm just so so very very done with having to watch women be subjected to this when they are asking questions from deeply hurt hearts.
  9. juliann

    Who is a widow supposed to marry...?

    Lola, I'm going to hijack your thread because I am so very, very weary of the nonstop mansplaining. In these responses from men, who can identify the response that sympathetically acknowledges the OP's situation? Who can identify which response is nothing but scolding mansplaining?
  10. juliann

    Who is a widow supposed to marry...?

    Yes I do. Star is a nonstop offender. Who is apparently bringing in the troops. And these men who think they can lecture women on why their feelings aren't as important as male feelings DO harm. Since he has been told so very often by multiple women that is the case, there is no way you are going to convince very many that he meant no harm.
  11. juliann

    Who is a widow supposed to marry...?

    It has been a long battle trying to train men to not come into women's discussions and make it all about them and their opinions about their own experiences rather than the womens'. First there is outrage, then comes the hurt feelings, then the take my male ball and go home. There is usually the howling over being told to "shut up," as well. And all of this in the presence of men who are managing very well to stay in a discussion about women and for women. It is a checklist that rarely deviates. I remain unsure of why your experience with your wife's tragic death has a single thing to do with a question from a woman about the discriminatory sealing policies that damage a widow's ability to live her life as men are able to do. But to answer your off topic questions: Yes, in the LDS church it is easier to be a widower when one wants to remarry. Yes, I watched my husband waste away. Since this is apparently a contest, I can beat your six months of the worst of it. And I had a 4 year old.
  12. juliann

    YSA online communities

    Uplift is a very successful closed group on FB. It is the only place I have seen where all the hard stuff is discussed without rancor or church bashing. I don't know how many singles are there but you could build a subgroup.
  13. juliann

    Who is a widow supposed to marry...?

    I'm curious to see how many more ways you can come up with to tell widows they are being silly or downright stupid to not be able to figure out how easy a problem you will never experience is. Is it really impossible for you to see that your trivial examples have nothing whatsoever to do with what we are talking about? How nice that you have worked out a situation that has nothing to do with our situation.
  14. juliann

    Who is a widow supposed to marry...?

    These are all nice guys here. It just demonstrates what we have to deal with everyday to even have a conversation. And yes, strappinglad, there were consequences to my marrying a nonmember as a sealed, i.e., damaged goods divorcée. I raised a faithful daughter and we are sealed to that now member husband. I should have just remained single and childless instead and waited until I died to enjoy those blessings that would have all worked out. It’s a beautiful theology, right? Don’t worry ladies. Just die!
  15. juliann

    Who is a widow supposed to marry...?

    🙄 what part of a widow can’t marry anyone she wants to with the sealing restrictions on women do you still not understand? Let us know how many more times you need it repeated so we can start a man spam thread for you. 😉