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Maidservant

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About Maidservant

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    Separates Water & Dry Land
  • Birthday 03/04/1971

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  1. Here May was positively cold, and June is cool; unheard of here too.
  2. Is this the first Muslim country to do so? Not sure. There is no proselytizing among Muslims, of course. Beautiful. Kuwait Formally Recognizes the Church of Jesus Christ
  3. I can't recall, but then again I haven't been looking. I guess I can also add that in my personal life, I find apologies worthless. I don't give them and I don't receive them or require them of others. If a person could change, they would. No words said. If they can't change, then words don't help. Not sure if you mean the General Authorities or local bishops, because I think my approach would be different. I trust generally speaking the General Authorities are good men trying to follow the Savior and lead the church according to the direction of the Savior, and there is no conspiracy or whatnot. I don't really feel much connection to them or what they have to do with my life. It's in the background, albeit a mostly nice background. For local bishops and such, I have no expectation at all from them anymore. I know better lol. I have been in leadership positions and I don't ever want to be again and I'm glad it's not me and I'm willing to give ward leadership a lot of room for mistakes because that's the Golden Rule, I know I made plenty in the same callings. So I get it now. I'm just in awe now that men accept these callings at all and do their best--whatever that is--and I find it even more precious in awe some great moments I've had with bishops or Relief Society prezzes or whatever--the times they really met me and loved me. By the same token, if I don't agree with something, then I don't. Or if I need to speak up, I do. Or if something doesn't get done or goes wrong, I process the situation and move on. I do know there is 'mantle' or whatever you want to call it. I've seen it, felt it. Everything. My questions are my faith. My questions are the conception beginning of my revelation. I have a process--or rather, God has a process and taught it to me--that I 'set' a question. I know, know, know, know from experience after experience after experience after experience that I will be answered. It may take 10 seconds, it may take 10+ years. It used to happen organically--a question would affect my mind and heart, and I didn't even really have to do specific study, although I could also, but things would be brought to me over time, until I would realize (sometimes years later) that I had clarity on it. It would surprise me. Now I am conscious of the process and literally 'set' a question and then I know I am in the answer process. That is why on this board (I doubt anyone would have noticed, nevertheless) I use the phrase "in my level of understanding" because this is due to what questions I may have asked, and where I am at in the answer process; I don't see everything yet--I only see what I see right now. Puzzle pieces come bits by bits, and sometimes questions and answers have to take place before I have enough conceptual and energetic structure to comprehend an earlier answer I wanted. This process has absolutely nothing to do with any church leaders whatsoever. Rather, Isaiah 54:13 'taught of the Lord'. It is the Conversation that I am having with God every second of every day in the veil of this lifetime. Between ME and HIM and no one else. I have felt much discomfort over the years as I have learned to do things based on my own revelation and experience, needs, choices, preferences, personality, etc etc--to trust myself and my own agency--when I have thought about it in foil to what I learned at Church or thought I learned at Church. It's a process that makes me sad, mad, dismayed, betrayed, bewilderedd, alone, etc. For example, way back when I started to work instead of being a stay-at-home mom. Even that was a huge fracture for me from what I thought God/leaders wanted and even I wanted for myself, and some different adventure that God was actually calling me to. I felt evil. I had to re-learn God. Or un-learn the God I thought I had had. (I was helped by some Buddhist (I think?) principles that described how everyone goes through this fracture of how you once thought things were; i.e. if you're bewildered, you're going the right direction.) I continue to feel discomfort because I know there are some things that, forget Church leaders, even if Jesus himself were standing in front of me (which basically He is, so He's heard this before lol), I would give him a piece of my mind! One that is really big for me right now (to keep the list short, just saying one) is the 'modesty' 'principle'. I can't even. To me, the modest-immodest axis of judgment, conception, viewpoint, etc is one of the greatest bondages and falsehoods there is. Enough already. Well, I'd tell you what I'm going to do with this dissonance . . . if I knew. All I can do is be myself and keep learning. I'll either be right or I'll be wrong. And if I'm right, others will catch up to me. And if I'm wrong, I'll catch up to them. Well, I don't know what this means at all. I don't think it has meaning in the Church concepts. Not sure, because I don't consider myself those things, and don't use those value judgments at all for anyone inside or outside of the church. It's much lighter after I laid down that rock. 😄 But if I'm being honest, I do feel way out from the Church or the Church I once thought I knew; but then every once in a while I get a glimpse that the church is not about agreement, it is about union, which is not the same thing at all; and I do have such a great ward, the women there are very loving of everyone, they don't need anything from me or from each other, not even 'correct' belief, except to be there, so I do. Be there. I go by Elder Uchtdorf's once invitation to find reasons to stay, so I do. And that there is a place for me. So I go with that for now, unless I feel specifically called to go somewhere else in the future. But I don't want to simply be running away; I want to be going toward the revelation and the greater union and agency and integrity, etc. So God and I go round and round each week it seems. "You done with me yet?" he asks. "Nope," I say as I throw on a skirt and get ready to attend the temple. "You done with me yet?" I ask Him. "Nope," he says. "Okay then," he continues, "I'll meet you there." "Yep. I'm coming."
  4. Without completely mechanically understanding it--although it becomes more and more comfortable for me to comprehend in whole--I accept that I (we) have always lived and I (we) always will. In this sense, I have no mother and no father. Simply . . . I AM. Ayah Asher Ayah. I AM that I AM. (The Scriptures begin for me in that phrase; every thing else hangs on this and if it does not hang on it, it drops. Life and knowing, for me, begins with that phrase.) Every Being partakes of this--and not humans only. Rocks and rain partake of this. The matter then becomes, not really who is the parent and the child, who is the god and who is not, but rather the understanding of the mystery that we are all--ALL--brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, sons and daughters of one another through endless progressions; and that we come into one heart, one mind, perfect union in both time(s) and eternity(s). We had glory before we arrived here, and this earth life adventure is not really a matter of losing that glory, but rather an exercise in adding to it. Really, what happens here is so small. So tiny. In the matter of the thousands upon thousands of years of experience we had before coming here, so tiny of a time and effect. Earth life is significant because it is the pearl of great price. Everything matters. You matter. I matter. Rocks and rain matter. Crucifixion matters. Resurrection matters. But it is a passage that . . . will come to pass. And then we will be in other scenes in eternity. We may remember our time here. We may forget. Either will do.
  5. I'm not at this time. For health reasons I am going in that direction. However, I would not be vegetarian for reasons that animals ought not to be killed; because we DO have to eat something else alive to stay alive, whether animal or vegetable. Thus to be 'humane' also for me would mean not eating vegetables, so that's impossible for most people (not everyone--there is such a thing as a prana-arian, and I think I'm going in that direction too). So rather, we should kill quickly with the least amount of pain,, for the purpose of eating, without waste or sparingly, and with great thanksgiving. Not saying I'm deep into that in real time, but I this is what I come to when I think about it. But I don't feel good eating meat. It's not the right thing for my body any more, if it ever was. And it is starting to feel metaphysically weird to be eating muscle and the taste is starting to feel weird to me.
  6. I don't see this as an issue of obedience. But, then again, I don't see anything as an issue of obedience. (I tend to set down heavy on the 'agency' side, although not to say that obedience and agency are mutually exclusive.) If it is a matter of meat eaters, then performing sacrifice to make it sacred; I don't have a problem. Or some temporary device if it truly points the mind, body, and soul to the deeper truth. But there isn't something better? Or let's just be plain and not learn only by a ritual with hard side effects. What is difficult for me at this time is the sense of teleological progression to higher law(s). And part of that is the knowledge that animals are persons with the right to life. I feel that the Hindu approach to cows, making them sacred by living, rather than killing them. I don't know that the 'celestial law' involves vegetarianism, but I personally think that it does. I think it involves not eating anything but light. You have to stop eating and killing things you can have a conversation with i.e. animals in celestial. Again, is there a verse and chapter on this? Maybe not. But it's where my understanding has gone based on a variety of threads and factors that DO have verse and chapter. (Not that I build my world view solely from verse and chapter. There is much that is right that has never been written and never could.) The problem I have with it is if I would not kill a child on an altar, I would not kill a pigeon. Because I would have repented of thinking a pigeon is something much different than my child. To me, that is a falsehood; that we can't see better how precious every life form is; brother bear and all that. I mean, obviously I would rather a pigeon than my child die, but I would rather another's child than mine die too, if those were the choices. Let's not make them the choices. It is also a better understanding (or as I say at this time) of 'sacrifice': to make holy, to give life to oneself and others. It is not about losing something or going without something or killing something or something getting hurt. Sacrifice is the opposite. If you think of the Sun of our solar system and how it 'sacrifices' daily--it is what it is, a burning being, and by its burning It gives life to our planet. I do have a hard time thinking of how a commitment to life would involve a killing ritual for the sake of prophecy (which is not the only sake that I'm saying every one is coming from, but its one). Sacrifice is to give of oneself to allow others to live, instead of taking from others so that only you can live. We sacrifice by living, not by dying. So saying we need to do something simply and only to prove or show the Restoration as if there were boxes to be ticked off (again not saying it is everyone's point of view or only point of view, only one possible), I really think that is a poor way for me personally to accept things as right.
  7. I shall be thinking about this for a very long time. Wow. I also noted that "Araunah" means Lord.
  8. Indeed. 🙂 I love the Catholic way of viewing and practicing the Eucharist. People don't really pay attention, but there is an altar in every LDS chapel, upon which there is the shroud placed, and upon which the body and blood (i.e. a person, Savior, or Lamb) has been placed and 'killed', shattered really, into hundreds of pieces and drops, and resurrected inside each one of us.
  9. I find it likely that Joseph was contemplating animal sacrifice. But I do hope I never see it again.
  10. A sacrifice is prepared every Sabbath in every Sacrament Meeting. The Teachers prepare the sacrifice, the Priests and Deacons perform the sacrifice. I am not one who thinks it will happen as an 'animal sacrifice' per se or thinks it ought to happen, in any other way.
  11. Oddly enough, I can't think of any discussion in the Book of Mormon that describes the reception of the Holy Ghost as a result of the laying on of hands by priesthood authority. But the Book is full of descriptions of the reception of the Holy Ghost, the manner thereof and the consequences thereof. I had remembered this scripture and wanted to share it with you as an agreement to the point of view you hold: "3 Nephi 9:20 And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost, even as the Lamanites, because of their faith in me at the time of their conversion, were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not." So here 'the baptism of the Holy Ghost' is a result of a broken heart, a contrite spirit, faith, and conversion. It seems to be a pretty universal offering, for those who prepare in that manner. But when I went to look up that scripture, I found a ton of stuff I hadn't seen before because I had been blind to it because of our current tradition. The following places in the Book of Mormon you might enjoy re-reading on the subject: 2 Nephi 26:13 "And that he manifesteth himself unto all those who believe in him, by the power of the Holy Ghost; yea, unto every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, working mighty miracles, signs, and wonders, among the children of men according to their faith." Alma 13:12, Alma 36:34, Ether 12:14 (referencing this story I think, one of my favorites: Helaman 5:40-51), and all of 3 Nephi 19.
  12. I know this isn't the main topic, but 'mystery' in the scriptures doesn't mean something we can't know or aren't supposed to know; if anything, the opposite. A mystery is meant to be revealed, line upon line. We've lost the original meaning and function of the term and its application in our life journey. I remember reading something from the Millennial Star where Parley P Pratt was talking about how our entire body (skin) would be able to 'see' i.e. intake light and feed that signal to the brain for interpretation. Cool. I really don't see resurrection or whatever body future we have as a religious topic. It is as much 'science' as anything we else we can know. Obviously, it is more important to love and be good and have life meaning, obviously, but that doesn't mean we haven't figured out cell phones (like prayer?) and there's no reason to shy away from a conversation about resurrection on the same basis. It's just cool. And we ought to know as much about our bodies as possible. My understanding is that we will resurrect ourselves. And our bodies at all times take the condition of the law we are living, which may be called 'telestial', 'celestial' etc, although I'm not a fan of those terms. We take, or make, a body that works well with the world we need to be in at a given time (or have the capacity to be in at a given time). Also there is actually very little if any reason for the body to die anyway (of old age), even in the condition we have it now. The fact that we die under 100 years just goes to show how shabby we treat it. The resurrection IS also a pathway template i.e. we are shown that the path we are to trod to follow the Savior includes (among other things) our crucifixion, our tomb, and our rising. This is not really about body primarily (although body is always involved-we're always in a body, even after 'death' we are in a body for that realm), but resurrection is one aspect about life journey or rather ETERNAL LIFE journey. So I find that this is the primary meaning of the resurrection in any case. But I think that immortality is the way things actually work, and the fact that we have death in this realm is actually the anomaly, like how do we simulate death? since there really is no such thing? said the council of the gods in eternity before ever there was the first world established. We have to fake it. Because we are actually never dead, we are always ourselves and always alive--somewhere, in some body.
  13. Not to mention that our own bodies right now are not a static, solid object. The atomic bits are always get swapped out and put in (not to mention the bio bits i.e new cells). So we are a body NOT because of the particular atoms that make us up at any given moment but rather due to some organizing principle that constantly organizes whatever atoms it can lay a hold upon, according to a 'blueprint'.
  14. I agree with you. I do think that often people don't want to peek behind 'the story', and when they do, they feel forbidden and lost. And, indeed, who has got time for it all? And when I myself lift 'the curtain' and push through to understand the real time implications and consequences of 'the story', it often leads me to places that are very strange and really not at all what I once thought the story meant. And thus I find myself wondering, was I supposed to look? i.e. according to the general authorities, according to God? And the answer maybe 'yes' I was supposed to look, or 'no', 'the story' was supposed to satisfy you. I'm still not sure. For example, simply pondering on the length of eternity and the number of beings in eternity . . . and what we've been doing, some are doing now, and will be doing . . . it actually leads me, at least, to very different conclusions than what gets said across a pulpit or even in scripture. But I like exploring and taking it to rubber-meets-the road conclusion. And, for that matter, I question this way about every establishment story--the government story, the education story, the gender story, the science story, the medicine story, the history story--it's all story and most stories don't hold up under too much push back i.e. thinking and learning a little more.
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