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Everything posted by MustardSeed

  1. For what it’s worth- I believe the same way as ALarson on this subject. I acknowlege this is a more flex view of The Gospel but it’s the only way things make any bit of sense to me. Peace and allowance for other views.
  2. APA is not in the business of morality. And I agree that we can’t make something immoral , moral by increasing frequency. There are some things that were never immoral to begin with that once we admit that it’s totally common we can be ok with (ie. playing a game of p*ker with face cards is innocuous.) But imo this is not one of them. It hurts way too many people.
  3. I’m with you. Too much coercion , very little actual equality going on in any so called agreed upon open relationships and marriage. Imo.
  4. I have a lot of thoughts about this topic. A whole lot. Some will respond to your specific invitations, some may not. I will try to stay on topic but am happy to start a new thread if I do not. You might be simply shocked to learn how ridiculously common having multiple partners is. Whether consensual or not. We all know it happens but the rate at which it happens is mind boggling to me. Is not the APA mostly designed to ensure that Practicioners continue to get paid by insurance companies? It’s certainly no moral compass. I think we are already deeply corrupt without APA influence. Esther Perell is one of the foremost leaders of psychology today in this and other sex topics. Her own open non judgemental attitude (she is European, which likely helps) I’m sure (IMO)has influenced many many others in the psych field to consider that perhaps there is more than one way of having happiness in relationships besides traditional marriage. A therapist’s job after all to a large degree requires the absence of judgement. My opinion **of the APA examining this topic** is “yeah, no surprise. It’s everywhere, and you’re only crazy if you do something that most people think is crazy. So if tons of people are wearing Crocks it can no longer be considered insane. But it’s still WRONG.” Which brings me to my second opinion..*** on open relationships themselves**. I believe there’s most often coercion involved in the case of open marriage. I do NOT have cfr to back this. That is my own anecdotal opinion from every (there are many) open relationship I’ve known about. I also don’t know of a case of open marriage that had longevity. As for children, nothing is better than stability and consistency for building self esteem for kids. Having multiple partners, due to affairs, open marriage, serial relationships, you name it leaves kids more exposed to abuse and neglect. (I do not have cfr for this, I suppose we can call it my opinion.). I don’t know how other types of poly relationships stack up, I personally don’t know any polygamous families. But I don’t know any open marriages or children of people with multiple partners who are thriving. We are experiencing a sexual revolution unmatched by the 60s imo.
  5. I still say it all started with wanting the girls to marry young and start families.
  6. Big fat amen. In my opinion * it’s never been about maturity, it’s always been about the emphasis on girls getting married as The Priority. I think that antiquated way of thought has shifted so it “appears” that it’s about maturity, but clearly 18 year old girls are more mature than 18 year old boys *in general *imo
  7. Hu. That’s interesting. There is so much flex in our area- some go at 18, 19, several prominent ym waited til 20, my own son began mission prep at 20. Word on the street is that President will push to wait so there’s really no pressure. It’s super nice. I agree, an official statement might be very helpful. I agree so much. My 18 year old is actually practically 30. Some kids mature quickly and it’s so wonderful to have the option. So many males though are very immature still at 18 living at home being not prepared.
  8. Or just waiting a year. Some 18 year olds are ready. It’s not a big deal to wait.
  9. Yes, depression is illness for sure. The term “mental illness” connotes something scary, but if you break it down to what it is, illness of the mind, that is precisely what depression is. It’s more than being depressed about being in a strange place. A diagnosis of depression is not about an emotion it’s about a real heaviness, a lack of energy, feeling as though you have cinderblocks tied to every limb, it’s a purposeless point of view. It’s absolute hell. Perhaps your nephew was given a diagnosis errantly. If not, it does qualify as mental illness but we rarely use that term. Sort of like calling someone’s depression a “mental breakdown”. No shame in any of it for me. Anyway that’s all aside from your point really...our SP tells all the boys to wait a year. Go to school, live away from mommy, own your life first. It seems to have helped after a rash if young men came home. Just because 18 is allowed doesn’t mean it’s s good idea for everyone. Thank goodness for the change because I think it takes a lot of pressure off imo.
  10. Fair Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is just too many letters for those T-shirt’s. Some things just don’t need changed
  11. For the record, I am a huge fan of GOOD bishops and GOOD therapists. There are both. And there are, always have been, and always will be, bad both. You know, humans. But a good therapist and a good bishop are worth their weight in diamonds.
  12. I’m not going to lie, I’m disappointed this thread isn’t about my favorite show.
  13. I trust both together! That’s a powerful combo.
  14. I’m hoping it just needed to be formally written. Even so...
  15. Interesting. Thank you for this. I just read it- I don’t know that it applies officially to Idaho but I’m sure it’s on their radar. I love the emphasis on moving it from a punitive process to a —let’s help these guys learn and grow and overcome — type process. Maybe this is in my sons favor today.
  16. Yes. Coffee breath is revolting. Then again, so is garlic breath, onion breath, fish breath, any breath but mine lol And add me to the list of Pero/hot chocolatiers. It’s my favorite winter treat.
  17. Ok so good news, he was given a pass as it was an isolated event- they scoured his emails and found no evidence of further infraction. He also had written letters of apology and intent and so he was offered GRACE. Tough life lesson. To be honest, this is why I value college experience-life prep more than anything else. Whew. I’m glad I had a place to vent in the meantime. My husband just wanted to burn everything down. Thanks all.
  18. I hope so as well. Regardless, I’ve told him he’s capable of working through whatever comes. He’s a hard worker, keeps his nose down, and has a career waiting for him when it’s done. He’s done all he can do. My guess is they will fail him for the class for his part in his associate’s behavior. Hopefully he has enough credits to graduate. When I went to Idaho to school, two roommates got drunk and slept with boyfriends. We were all hauled in. Everyone blamed me for being the initial tattler (I hadn’t, but by the time we were all hauled in I was honest but reserved). One got kicked out- the belligerent one. The other was allowed to stay, she went on to go on a mission and since has lived a very pure life. FWIW.
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