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gopher

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Everything posted by gopher

  1. My bad, I didn't realize who I was replying to. I went back and read your earlier post so I know where you are coming from. My purpose was to explain that one way I dealt with the loneliness and misery of being single was to not take offense at comments from others, even those that weren't intended to be malicious. I realize that doesn't work for everyone. But it even helps me today to not take offense at your cynical and sarcastic comments directed towards me. You clearly have found a way to deal with it all that works for you. Good luck!
  2. I was just having fun since I read the reactions to LoudmouthMormon's comment.
  3. Looks like you have been vindicated! From the NY Times yesterday:
  4. Sure, but at least there are plenty of examples in the scriptures and church history of people who didn't get answers to prayers when they wanted. I refused to let myself become angry or bitter since I didn't want to become like that. I also refused to let myself feel like a second class member as a single adult. Sometimes it's helpful to be stubborn. And my story eventually had a happy ending.
  5. Yeah, I didn't take much of their advice seriously. But married people aren't much better with their advice. I probably shared this before but I once went in for a TR recommend where the counselor thought he would give me some helpful advice. He said when he'd been home from his mission for about a year he decided it was time to get married. He prayed about it and the next day a girl in his BYU class smiled at him and they were married 2 months later. That's a nice story to tell your kids and grandkids, but not very helpful for someone who has struggled for many years prayerfully seeking to find a spouse. (To be clear, I'm not mocking his experience or doubting the power of prayer). It kinda stinks when it's so difficult to keep a commandment that you actually want to obey.
  6. He was actually a decent guy and had a good relationship with several of his ex-wives. But I was also looking for an excuse to quote Taylor Swift since we don't hear about her much anymore.
  7. I have great sympathy for the single adults in the church. Many desperately wish to experience love, marriage, and having children. Some have circumstances that make it difficult or impossible from them to ever have those experiences. I got a kick out of some of the divorced dudes that would talk about how horrible it was to be married, yet they were always the first ones to married out of our group. I was the only never-married so they often felt it was their responsibility to warn me about the red flags in their previous relationships. One guy got married for the 5th time after complaining about all the problems with his ex-wives. I think he could have benefited from the counsel from the wise feminist philosopher who once said, "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me)".
  8. Are members becoming more wary of these types of protests/boycotts? We've seen a number of them end badly in the recent years. It starts with someone claiming to be a believing member who just wants to make the church better, but they soon turn antagonistic towards the church and its members and either leave or their membership is withdrawn. They often manage to take others out of the church with them. I've never heard of this person before so I hope she doesn't follow that path. I'm not sure taking your case to the Tribune is the best course of action, but you know you'll get lots of snark in the comments from critics of the church.
  9. Last time I visited the Kirtland temple, the CoC tour guide only stated that Joseph Smith had a "spiritual experience" in the temple, but didn't explain any further. There was no mention of the visits by Moses, Elias, and Elijah. I'm guessing that will change with the LDS church tours?
  10. Would it help if the church continued to charge the $10 to tour the temple? I was there 10 years ago, but only had to pay $5 to the hippie playing the sitar in the visitor center. He was cool.
  11. Don't forget, my objection was to the comparison with the priesthood ban not marriage between black and white couples. But there are still significance differences with this comparison too. Maybe there doesn't exist an accurate comparison that can be used.
  12. No, my objection to the OP's question isn't because I believe black members during the ban had it worse than LGBT members today. It's because black members were denied opportunities and blessings in the church because of policy. LGBT members are only denied opportunities and blessings in the church because of disobedience. That's why I disagree with using the comparison between the two groups because I don't think it's very accurate or fair to black members. That's as far as I'm going with this. My comments weren't intended to address the other LGBT issues in the church. Maybe someday the prophet will receive a different revelation concerning LGBT relationships. But in the meantime, shouldn't believing members be obedient to the commandments as they currently stand?
  13. Have you heard that employers are forcing male employees to transition to women so they only have to pay them 77 cents for every dollar they made as males? Source: the Internet
  14. Great quotes, but they have nothing at all to do with what I posted since you clearly missed the point. I understand you view it differently as nonbeliever, but I don't view it as a comparison of policies. The church's treatment of LGBT individuals is based on willful and sinful behaviors committed by the individuals. That's one reason the comparison to the priesthood ban should be offensive to black members. Their situation was much worse. There was no sin they could repent of in order to be admitted into full membership in the church during the ban. Not trying to be obnoxious, just stating the obvious for the sake of discussion. As far as changes to doctrine, it's Christ's church so He can make whatever changes He wants, whenever He wants. Commandments with severe penalties don't seem to change often, with the exception of polygamy which is sinful except when it's not. I'm not confident that God is pleased with those who believe they can violate His commandments with the hope that someday He will change His mind.
  15. Counterpoint: No. Righteous LGBT members can hold the priesthood and attend the temple today. Righteous black members during the ban could do neither. It's a terrible comparison and should be offensive to black members. Yes, some stupid stuff was said about blacks during the ban that was wrong.
  16. Thanks. There seem to be many former believers out there that feel angry, disappointed, betrayed, etc. I don't want to be responsible for adding to those feelings. Maybe they expect to feel that way for the rest of their lives, but I recently saw an example of someone who was able to overcome those feelings. A sister in the ward has a husband who left the church while he was serving in the Bishopric in their previous ward. His issues were mainly Joseph Smith and church history. For 20 years he was kind of a jerk to her about the church since she continued to attend alone. He felt the church had lied to him and tried to convince her to leave too. A few years ago an inspired Primary president recommended calling them both to teach the Sunbeam class. He agreed only to please his wife and would show up for class and quickly leave when it ended. Four months ago he got up in F&T meeting and shared an emotional testimony that he said he knows Joseph Smith was a prophet. His wife was shocked along with the rest of the ward. He has gotten up every month since then to bear his testimony of the church, scriptures, revelation, etc. I'm not suggesting this will happen to every former believer, but it provides some hope that it can happen. I also have an uncle that came back after 50 years. He was a RM and left with my aunt shortly after marrying in the temple. He shared many of the common concerns and became very antagonistic towards the church. My aunt returned after 10 years, but he was in his mid 70's when he accepted a calling to serve with her in the nursery. Now in his 80's, he's a temple worker. I'm sure there are other examples that don't involve unleashing the full power of the Junior Primary to help regain testimonies, but it's been interesting to see the changes that can quickly happen after serving with the little ones.
  17. No chance, Internet tough guy. I was very clear I wasn't referring to you. I enjoy your posts. They are a nice break from the serious and often thoughtful posts from the other critics of the church here.
  18. Lighten up, Francis. You must have missed the recent posts on this website from a now banned poster. If you can't spot the problems with your post, I won't be able to help much.
  19. Are you sure you aren't trying a bit too hard? I'd hate to see you resort to posting nekkid pics to get anyone to pay attention to you. That wasn't received well last time it happened. I'm kidding, of course.
  20. Dang, I was going to make a serious comment here, but now I'm confused that I may have accidentally gone to the wrong website?
  21. Cute story! Sounds like he's old enough now for the talk on the dangers of premarital hand holding. My favorite calling was teaching 7 year olds in Primary. Maybe it was my imagination, but there seemed to be a big change in their spiritual maturity as they were baptized throughout the year. By the end of the year, class members were much more reverent and and thoughtful in their responses than the beginning. I guess I don't see it as a weighty decision to get baptized when 8. Instead it's more the opposite of weighty.
  22. Pretty sure even his mom doesn't think he's cute, but he makes up for it in personality
  23. I was in a F&T meeting when a new member of the ward got up and testified that he learned from personal experience that God did not intend for us to be in open marriages. He was an interesting guy, a convert, covered in tattoos, had spiky green hair and always wore shorts to church. He was recently divorced but got remarried a few years later in the temple and moved out of the ward. We became pretty good friends.
  24. Removing religion and inequality of the sexes from polygamy seems to make it acceptable for many today. At least according to the articles on polyamorous relationships that occasionally show up in my news feed. Maybe polygamy would have been more widely accepted if the church used cute terms like "nesting partners" and "satellite partners". Link
  25. You do realize I was trying to be clever in switching around the wording of the question "why do bad things happen to good people?", not to spark a discussion on labels or judging? I'm didn't come up with the wording of that question. I agree God loves everyone unconditionally. But I find it interesting to try to understand how God works with those who willfully reject Him and Jesus Christ. God still wants them to change and become obedient so they can be exalted someday, correct? I've heard many believers testify that it was through their adversities they came to know the love God has for them. So how can God reclaim those who reject Him when they seem to have everything in life go their way and seem to experience little adversity if that truly is a way to experience God's love?
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