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About bsjkki

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    Separates Water & Dry Land

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  1. I think it is dishonest, if he knew he had this struggle at that time. But, i also hope them both future happiness. I had a good friend who left her husband after 24 years because he didn't "excite" her in the bedroom. He is a great guy and she struggles with depression and looking for happiness in the all the wrong places. I did realize that he might now have a chance to be with someone who actually loves him for all his great qualities instead of being married to someone who finds him lacking and boring. I hope Lois Smart finds someone too. My relationship with a parent changed dramatically with the addition of a step parent though. Even as an adult. Divorce, remarriage definitely changes family dynamics. Edit: Also, I don't think he was dishonest based on this quote, "It is with this same spirit that I wish to share the news that I have recently acknowledged to myself and my family that I am gay." Based on his own words, He only recently acknowledged to himself that he was gay.
  2. I think this information would be vital before claiming the two stories are "pretty analogous."
  3. I really don’t know. I just know he admits to causing her excruciating pain. I tend to empathize more with her. With the Weed family didn’t she know he was gay from the beginning? I don’t know that story completely.
  4. I tend to agree with Calm that the Deseret News published the story with some cooperation with the Smart family. Edit: I guess from the Fox article he didn’t mean it to go public. That was very naive...anything posted to Facebook is public. The media firestorm will cause more pain to all, especially his wife and children.
  5. They won’t be together if she is sealed to another man (original context of quote). I do not believe being gay is a choice but he did make many other choices that have hurt others whether he intended to or not.
  6. I agree the advice to gay men to marry women was atrocious and I also believe the wife who is seemingly inevitably discarded as collateral damage is hurt the most. He didn’t have to marry her or fake it for 40 years. People always have choices. Sorry...I have a friend this happened to. It’s sad to watch the wife and kids struggle. She is still single.
  7. He is 64. I’m not sure of her age...I doubt she has someone waiting in the wings. He admits to causing her excruciating pain. I really don’t have much sympathy for him. His choices have caused extreme collateral damage to his family. He chose to marry her and have a family. Honestly, I don’t see this any differently than the man running off with the much more attractive, younger woman. “The heart wants what the hearts wants” is one of the most selfish phrases ever coined. I’ve been married 29 years. I’m trying to place a percentage of, at this stage, how much of my marriage is based on ‘bedroom activities.’ I hope she does find someone but then she won’t be sealed to the father of her children or the man she spent most of her life with. It is sad.
  8. I think it is a feature but your aggressiveness in this thread, in my opinion, is sending the message anyone who highlights this ‘feature’ should just sit down and be quiet because public debate should never happen (per Oaks talk.) Since this is a feature, private debate is futile. I’m not sure how a one on one with my Bishop would help anything since it is an inherent unequal situation which he, himself can’t change. I could only petition he listens to the women in the ward, if he so chooses to. So, as women, we need to be grateful we are called upon to exercise the Priesthood in our callings and in our sphere of influence and be even more grateful when the men at church choose to let us.
  9. You can argue that the status quo is the way it is meant to be but it does mean women are inherently excluded from decision making roles. Going back to the ward council example. A woman never runs this meeting or leads the discussion or prioritizes the topic. This is a huge power imbalance that is never changed. As a ‘president,’ I manage my meetings. Everyone has an opportunity to contribute or bring up topics that are discussed but ultimately, I decide when to move on, what to table for later and also what course of action will be taken. (Even then, this requires Bishop approval.) We seek for unanimity but it doesn’t always happen. The difference between being a ‘president’ and a ‘counselor’ is huge. In ward council, the female voice will always be able to be ignored or not prioritized or tabled. We may speak, express concerns but ultimately hold no power. This dynamic will never change. Woman will be always at the mercy of men on whether their views are relevant in the current operational structure of church. (I use the words ‘always’ and ‘never’ intentionally.)
  10. My ward also avoids couples speaking the same week. With the new schedule, speaking first has its advantages. In my ward the last speaker is often left with less time to speak. 🤣
  11. It matters. When I went to councils when I was much younger, I was very intimidated at ward council. My Bishop was also a military colonel and very intimidating. I would never really speak up. There was a gender, age and experience gap. Now, I'm older and very much outspoken in ward council but sometimes I feel like a lone voice. My sister counterparts, have on more than one occasion expressed they wished they had 'spoken' up more and supported me but stayed silent. In these types of meeting age, gender, rank and experience can be factors. I mean, a woman will never be conducting or leading these discussions.
  12. I'm sorry if you live in a ward where this is still prohibited. My ward is enlightened and sometimes, we have only had female speakers and often, the woman closes the meeting.
  13. Another one. https://www.deseretnews.com/article/900083865/layton-utah-lds-latter-day-saints-mormon-church-fire-curtains-missionaries.html Investigators believe the fire was intentionally set, as there were no other possible explanations for how it started, Cook said. A burned piece of paper was also found near the curtains, he said, and notices posted on a bulletin board in the building had been pulled off and strewn across the floor. Cook said the church does not have security footage of the incident. "Unfortunately, these things are not … uncommon," he said, noting that the Layton Fire Department has dealt with a handful of similar cases in recent years. "It is one of those things that pops up every little while."
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