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About Calm

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    Dulce de labris loquuntur, corde vivunt noxio.
  • Birthday October 28

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    Here be dragons

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  1. Depression can create a disconnect to the spirit (or for those who don't believe such exists, a suppression of whatever creates that sensation), so it may be a natural progression for those who feel depressed to then doubt any previous experiences as wishful thinking, etc. Or they can become dismissive of previous spiritual experiences reinterpreting them as simply acting the part (no doubt true in some cases). I can see this easily becoming a vicious cycle for a missionary...stress or something triggers depression, creating a unintentional/ nonsinful loss of spirit, which leads to doubt....this creates more stress because they are in a situation requiring belief to feel authentic, depression deepens, etc. I had years as an adult for spiritual experiences, so it was pretty easy for me to recognize the loss of spirit in my life and pinpoint a cause (medication for depression ironically, though my issue was sleep disorder). I can imagine young adults having several new experiences without something comparable to measure them against being much more confused over what was happening as well as assuming they only thought they felt the spirit before due to parents' influences (which probably happens to some extent for some).
  2. The most common/dominating circumstance is likely mutual nonconcern about whether pregnancy occurs due to mutually consenting sex. Forced sex of women by men is more common than the reverse, but unfortunately nonconsenual sex with a woman as perpetrator is not uncommon ( https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/11/the-understudied-female-sexual-predator/503492/ ) In that case responsibility and thus decisionmaking needs to be shared imo, but I would weight a woman's concerns about her short and long term physical health and impact on her life higher in most areas due to the fact she can't walk away and refuse to accept responsibility for 9 months outside of abortion. And it is unpredictable and out of her control to a great extent, while financial and social situations are for the most part more predictable and controllable....at least as much as in a nonpregnant scenario. I think a man's concerns on how it will affect his long term financial and social situation should be weighted the same as the woman's financial and social costs assuming they both agree if the baby is carried to term, both will choose to be equally involved....though the career costs for a woman to have children may often be much higher than a man, even in just perception of being willing to commit to a career (especially in some cultures***). If the man does not have a history of being responsible, given it is more likely the woman will be responsible for the child even if she isn't particularly responsible herself except when she chooses to give it up, again I would weight her concerns higher. If the reverse is true, the woman is an addict or something similar and the man more likely to become a single parent, personally I would weight his long term concerns more....but even with long term potential equality, the fact the fetus is a physical part of the woman for 9 months and will have long term physical impact on her and sometimes in highly detrimental ways, the fact of pregnancy is of much, much greater concern to the woman than the man even if parenthood concerns might be equal. I don't think a man can truly understand the emotional and physical impact that pregnancy has on a woman. Complain to God if you think that unfair. (There are undoubtedly somethings a woman may not be able to understand, but I can't think of anything major at the moment that can't be faked by drugs to some extent; for example high testosterone can be injected). ***https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2018/12/18/asia-pacific/social-issues-asia-pacific/no-place-mother-south-korea-battles-raise-birthrate/#.XS6qiNHF2hA
  3. In that body, but don't we assume another body will be given it?
  4. I have also noticed physical health issues often come out more fully once someone leaves home. It may be the added stress or the less regular schedule or not eating as consistently well or perhaps being on one's own, one worries about the aches and pains more, so go to the doctor and find out something major. I think giving men and women both a year out of high school would be wise. A two year age difference, especially 19/21 is significant. I think 18/19 where many of the first group might be 19 or 20 has more or less removed age itself as a barrier and after that it will simply be temperament differences that will keep men and women not interested in each other (Iow, with that little age difference, I don't see that as a natural barrier to romance). It would make sense to me to raise it back up to 19 save in countries that have major difficulties with breaking up schooling or military service as well as waivers for those who show not going at 18 creates a hardship...losing a scholarship for example because it can't be broken up, but can be delayed.
  5. I am not saying they do, just that saying it is simply a matter of their location is false.
  6. Intelligence, abilities to communicate, potential for independence, etc....tons of significant differences.
  7. And thankfully Church leadership told us not to...
  8. Enjoyed reading this. One request to help with my concentration issues is if you could in the future break up your posts into smaller paragraphs. My eyes tend not to track well when the block gets bigger than ten lines or so.
  9. If names were sure signs, my husband should be the prophet.
  10. I agree. An animal has life but that doesn’t stop humans from casually killing it. It is personhood that makes intentionally killing a human murder.
  11. This is rather crucial. So he only surveyed people who belonged in one or more of these groups?
  12. I dislike the dismissal of these two districts as not part of the “real America”. Makes me concerned about possible conclusions. The rest of the States should not be ignored in favor of these two, but the reverse shouldn’t happen either as the phrasing here appears to do imo. Hopefully that is not the actual case, but at the moment my brain isn’t inclined to read the article. Will do later.
  13. I do think there are some players who either get off on hurting others or need to win so badly they don’t care about hurting people, but I think most just get carried away in the moment with adrenaline and stop thinking about it. Competition can be fun if not taken too seriously. There is a reason why kids left to themselves will start playing ball or having races or jump rope contests. If everyone goes into the game understanding that will happen, to me that is different than say intentionally slamming an elbow into a face in a calculating manner.
  14. You think he was intentionally trying to hurt the other player?
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