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Everything posted by readstoomuch

  1. So, I am now about nine months into my diagnosis of chronic leukemia. Not much has changed as far as my health and I am grateful for that. I saw a CLL specialist at the Huntsman Cancer Center and will still wait for treatment. My youngest son got married at the end of June and my youngest daughter is going on a mission in November. I feel a number of losses and so many changes. When our ward was split the bishop asked me to be released from the bishopric and be the ward mission leader. Trying to figure that out. Of all the stress that I experience right now, the most severe is from work. I am part of a big business and the other owners are younger and can be naive as well as impulsive. They might be so demanding that our manager may leave. I seem to be the glue that holds it together and I just want to have peace and quiet. When I went to the temple the strong impression I got was that I need to get control of my life. If I retired tomorrow a business that I built might just fall apart. I have tried to set an example of how to be an owner and grow talent. One partner in particular is micromanaging our manager to death. He’s also very critical and constantly trying to “fix” things. The other owners bring talent and good qualities as well. You can imagine sitting in a meeting and just thinking “I have cancer, good luck with the mess you have created.” So, I am trying to get control of my life. I know the problems that I am explaining are that of business and not exactly the same that the every day person has to face. It has always been a challenge to live the gospel and run an organization. Ethics constantly tested. Thanks for the rant. Not sure who else to talk to.
  2. By the way I like the training and think with it and other recent changes that “they are enough.”
  3. I am getting ready to send my youngest daughter on a mission so I don’t like seeing these statistics. In my own life, someone from my high school class died three weeks after graduation so I know it happens. Young people are not supposed to die though.
  4. As a WML I see many missionaries. That had their district meetings at my house as an example. There are many that are overweight. The problem, especially for the sisters (in my experience) is that they go to the doctor often. They just seem to be sick more, like ten doctors visits in eight weeks. Mental health problems are more prominent than overweight problems though. I wish I had a dime for every time the word anxiety and missionary were used in the same sentence.
  5. My wife is teaching early morning seminary for the second year. They were asked last year to give a summary and recommendation for all of their students applying to BYU schools. They seem to have to give that response in October or November. Being their first year, they didn’t always know how good of a student they were and they were acting fine at the time. Several girls started acting very snotty and goofing off after their recommendations were done. She called BYU in January to ask if she could change recommendations and was told that she could. She then had a talk with the students and their parents. The families handled it differently with most very embarrassed by their kids behavior. One gave a bunch of excuses. My wife got high marks from her students and loves them. She doesn’t want to give any a bad recommendation, but she almost did. My own pet peeve is kids becoming inactive at a Church school. My oldest son did that and I told him he should withdraw and we spoke to the elders quorum president about his inactivity. He still graduated so I am assuming the bishop let it go. I also assume that their education costs 30 to 40 thousand per year, perhaps 90 percent subsidized. My youngest daughter had four roommates go inactive the second semester. She would show up with her other roommate to church and family night. No guarantees after you graduate about your behavior or even a mission for that matter. It is not right to continue going to a Church school with a poor attitude or inactivity and I think the Church has a right to try and get the kids who will be the most successful in helping to prepare the earth for Jesus second coming and gathering scattered Israel. The argument here probably comes down to how those kids can be chosen. My BYU education was a real blessing for me and helped immensely in getting my.graduate education.
  6. I really enjoyed this talk. The same with most of the articles or podcasts I hear and the Living Faith series of books they have published with Deseret. Its a different intellectual exercise with the Maxwell Insitute now. There aren't defenses of the faith in classic FARMS like manner. Hope and faith are explored in an intellectual atmosphere. It seems similar to the Joseph Smith Papers. Apologetics is still useful and there is a place for them. Hopefully the old links to FARMS material will be restored to be more available. I guess I like my old cake and my new cake. I eat both of them.
  7. I only have my stake and the missionaries that serve in my area to go from. It seems like about 75% of those returning home early are for medical reasons. The medical reason in the majority of cases is for mental health. I too hear about anxiety over and over again among the missionaries. I think some of the anxiety and depression is probably medical or familial. 15-20% of the population has depression and anxiety severely enough that they need treatment with medication. How much of this depression/anxiety is situational or reactionary in nature? In other words not what would be typically considered medical. How much of this is preventable or could be prepared for? My experience among the sisters serving around in our area is that about 1 in 6 is returning home early. The better that they are treated and reintegrated into the ward, the better they seem to do over time. Specifically, a calling as soon as possible.
  8. Here are some of my ideas. Secularization of developed countries. Sort of Science is our God. Equality for all no matter the cost or damage to society. Deterioration of marriage and morals leads to a weakened society. Pornography and sexualization of vulnerable people. Reluctance to address Church History in the 80`s. All the issues that trouble people history wise existed then. There was much more work and cost in obtaining historical information. We had historians who were faithful and trying to get the message out. Seer stones are easier to hear about as a child than as a thirty year old. We probably had some higher growth rates than if we had been educating people within the Church and at least to some extent investigators. Knowing what level and which information to provide is a challenge with many issues being controversial and not straightforward. Now we have to provide information because our youth will look things up either way. Missionary program not as effective as it could have been. Still glad I went and feel blessed to have done so. I also had the trust of my mission president and many less rules. The changes that President Nelson has made and directions we may be heading seem very promising. Reactions to those who reject the Church. Very difficult and it is truly hard to just be loving and accepting. In the end only unconditional love and acceptance of someone’s choices can have the power to bring them back. There usually isn’t something we could have said or done differently to make someone change the road they want to go on. Resignations make growth look smaller than it really is and none of us really knows how many resignations there are.
  9. I swear that they said that the stake president and bishops hold the keys to missionary work in their areas. I listened to that portion of the broadcast again. No, we don't have the keys over the missionaries and I think they can perform a baptism in an area without approval of the stake president or bishop. They probably shouldn`t and wouldn't do so. The presidency also said that there should be a dedicated ward mission leader in every ward and branch, not an elders quorum counselor that acts as the ward mission leader. You can see where this is all confusing.
  10. I live in the Northwest. The Northwest and West Area Presidency just had a broadcast that I am listening to right this very moment. We really are isolated from the missionaries. There is quite a bit of talk about working together, seeing new investigators within 48 hours of their first contact (bishopric or someone from the ward), and that the stake and wards hold the keys to missionary work. The problem that I see is that we don’t hold the keys over the missionaries. Throw in having two transfers in a row where missionaries went home for personal/medical/mental issues, differing levels of work on the missionaries part and we have trust issues with the missionaries. I really can`t get into more details, but there is a real rupture between the members and the missionaries. I hear about it in many areas. Others do fine. The better the quality of the missionary and the more they know the members the better I think it goes.
  11. Ward just split. New ward at least 20 percent smaller than the last. Released from the bishopric to become the ward mission leader by the same bishop. Working with the missionaries has gotten harder through time. Twenty years ago we were supposed to feed the missionaries to help keep down costs, then only if an investigator is present and now never since they are supposed to be “finding” between 5-730pm. The members really don’t know the missionaries. Honestly, I think we have just gotten used to them not being in our homes. They are supposed to be going to members homes between 8-9 to fellowship with them. A lot of other rules exist that aren’t in the handbook, but seem to be mission specific. Maybe the new handbook will have some updates. I want to have a better attitude, but I am dreading being the ward mission leader. I may end up being the second counselor in the Elders quorum as we don’t have enough priesthood to fill all of the callings and so would do both callings which is kind of like having the counselor in the Elders quorum doing the WML job.
  12. When my son left in June of 2016 we paid 420 per month and then I was told it was 400 per month after about 6 months. So we paid 400 the rest of his mission. When my oldest came back in 2011 we were paying 380 a month.
  13. It sounds like it was pretty common knowledge that [removed] is RadioFreeMormon. His name was listed as an attorney requesting the interview tape from BYU police. At least a quick search of [removed] LDS and there are several links to the exemormon reddit that discusses him. I used to read some of his blogs on RationalFaiths. His blog was like RationalFaiths for me. I liked a few things, tolerated other topics and didn't like a bunch of topics. The Bishop/Denson episode is just never going to be answered sufficiently to come up with a straight answer. Much of the problem being with the two people themselves. No doxxing.
  14. That video is awful. I watched her former attorney Craig Vernon`s video on his practice website. I don’t care much for him either. Mike, McKenna and Mr Vernon have all decided beforehand that we as a. Church are guilty of everything they allude to. The word doesn’t get to wait until all of the facts come out. This all argues against coming to an opinion quickly and using media to suit one`s motives.
  15. Joseph and Hyrum were not wearing there garments, while John Taylor and Willard Richards were. That is my understanding.
  16. No, it is not okay to have this, whether Ms Denison is really having to go through this or made it up. This is all nasty business. The next expected step would be for MormonStories to make this into a podcast where either the Church is having the Danites carry this out or covering up for the perpetrator. Because the Church knows all the things that every member has ever done wrong. Ms. Denison is also sitting out in a congregation filming when a person does a hit piece on a sexual abuser during testimony meeting. Recently, Sterling Van Wagenen`s victim came on MormonStories and they called it a coverup by the LDS Church. It actually seems to me that the Church system worked. The Bishop found out about it, required that it be reported to the police, parents opted not to press charges, he was disfellowshipped. The level of abuse is in question and he apparently abused other children later. It`s a very sad story. The victim doesn’t feel supported enough or receive counseling from the Church. They didnt`t ask him to give his side of the story when the event happened (something probably many parents would want to avoid for their child). I don’t know what the Church is supposed to do. These are complicated stories with contradictions and possible manipulation for potential gain. This is all my opinion, but the trial by court of public opinion is getting old.
  17. LisaAlu, I am that counselor that we try to get to renew your temple recommend in my ward. Two of my kids have stopped going to church and one is getting a divorce. My two younger ones are doing well at this point. I think it is fine to say that you need more time or that you don’t feel ready right now. You probably have to decide whether you want to then follow up with the bishop. We try to respect people needing space. There are worse things then drinking, but it does hinder the spirit. I don’t think we ever know when our children are truly lost. God loves them and loves you. Our bishop is the most loving man around and honestly that is how bishops have treated me for the last 57 years. The path and life does seem to go easier when we live the commandments, even though we don’t live them perfectly. I certainly have my faults, but for me the WoW has not been one of them. My children are good people/descent human beings. We don’t know their path or what happens in the spirit world when we get there. Make sure that you are doing the basics like reading the scriptures and praying morning and night. Come Follow Me has been great for me. This will help you feel the spirit and be able to be strengthened. None of us actually knows how this is all works after this life, but I testify that Christ is real and that through his powerful atonement, we will all be made whole. I really respect your being real and sincere, even if it is anonymous. I hope you and your husband will feel His love as you find your way.
  18. very sore subject if you are in the bishopric. we are required to offer each family to have the opportunity. I wasn't planning on donating, which will be the first time.
  19. We have been told not to have extra meetings and be done and home by 3pm. There definitely is a message about not procreating meetings.
  20. Thank you for asking. I have gone to the temple a few times, the latest yesterday. There has been quite a bit of peace about it all. The biggest problem seems to be about who to tell. I still have not told my children. My older kids who lost their mother to cancer would probably just flip out. I think the two of them have finally started to come to grips with the death of their mother. That grieving that you try to do with them, but they were 6 and 9 when it happened. They are now 29 and 32. My younger kids are just getting out on their own. My youngest just barely turned 18 and is planning on going on a mission next fall. I don't want to do anything that would change her mind or cause a freak out about the possibility of me dying. So, there are about 5 people on the earth that know this. As for the medical stuff. I have to go into the oncologist every 2 months and have my blood drawn. My immunoglobulins are low, so I can't get sick. I have to be very careful and have about 20 containers of alcohol cleanser in every place you could think of. My case seems to be complicated and I am supposed to go to Mayo Clinic or the University of Utah for another opinion. There is the possibility of early treatment. Not entirely without side effects. There is an autoimmune condition that accompanies the leukemia. Its all slow and you learn bits and pieces here and there. There is a CLL support group and they have great information. They all say they freak out and then they mostly do well. Eventually their cancer becomes more advanced and then there can be some tough times. I don't want to go through a bone marrow transplant even though it has the promise of a cure. It has so many side effects and getting total body irradiation and a lethal dose of chemo does not sound fun. My energy is decent, but I am only able to work about 3 days a week. With my bishopric duties that is about all I can do. Every one asks me what I have and I can honestly tell them that I have an autoimmune condition that suppresses my immune system. I just don't tell them that the autoimmune condition comes from a cancer.
  21. I think Valerie Hudsons article The Two Trees helps explain why the temple speaks of men and women in the ways they do. Some of it being that Eve represented mankind in the physical aspects of our existence and Adam the spiritual side. Then the symbolism that went with both. We aren't as good at thinking through symbols or used to them. Unfortunately, if the symbols are not pondered and explored they can lead people to think they are speaking negatively of women. In a generation that basically has to interact with gadgets and numerous pieces of information, their attention span is different. I find that with my own kids. The temple changes, if I can get into the temple, will probably be appreciated by me. The sessions were all full last Friday and Saturday.
  22. If you are talking about the first chapter of Come Follow Me for Individuals and Families. I read the chapter with all of the scriptures and the talks yesterday morning before bishopric meeting and had a profound experience with it. I read the bible verses in the ESV, though I am waiting for the Greek translation by Thomas Wayment to be available again from Deseret Book.
  23. It is true that my daughter, her feminist crowd and Ordain Women associates (who for the most part aren't active any more) are mad about the changes, non changes and it took too long to change. Outrage is the order of the day for them.
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