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BlueDreams

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BlueDreams last won the day on November 19 2016

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  1. Or he's extremely respectful. I'm nosy as heck...my curiosity is hard to bind down. But even I would stop if someone strongly stated they did not want to talk about something. And I would wait for them to bring it back up. with luv, bd
  2. Hey...technically (REALLY technically) northern VA is part of the south. I mean they fantasize about leaving it, butt still stuck with what it is. Houston has a ton more diversity than the area in Dallas, which is part of it. Oh, and I don't like living in cities...remember...nature. Part of it was, again, the contrast. I went from school districts that were really diverse to...not so much. And the diversity grows generationally. There are a lot more mixed kids even just a decade or so younger than me. so high schools now would be more diverse than when I was in it. And it wasn't an issue in the sense that it was brought up as a bad thing. It was moreso in the assumption of the one drop rule that would irritate me. I wasn't used to being pidgeon holed and then assumed to act a certain way and then be a racial disappointment when I didn't. It was most entertaining when they found out I was Mormon. Being black and Mormon was unheard of and the stereotype was that we were racists who believed black people were demons (I wish I was exaggerating). So then enters me...there would be this moment where you can tell my existence was mind blowing to them. And they couldn't process that i was Mormon. Followed by "wait her mom's white"...okay, it makes perfect sense why she's part of this crazy racist cult. Complete sense (end east coast sarcasm).That's one of the few time my mixed heritage was really acknowledged. It was felt in weird long long stares when I walked with my family that are different racial mixes. And once in Waco (it is waco though) a couple hostile ones that made me feel a little nervous. It wasn't one large thing but a bunch of little things that just added up after years. This didn't mean I didn't have friends who were diverse. I did. And Obviously UT isn't exactly a bastion of diversity, but I didn't feel the change as much because my core friends were from a dance group that only had two full white people in it. And several of my besties are also not white. But here most the time I can explain it and they rearrange their racial constructs. There I'd explain it and it was like a car that just couldnt fully turn over. Vegetarian wasn't that big of a deal. I got ribbed for it a little, but I had a few friends who were veggies as well. Thats more of a joke about their love of barbecue. And I never said I was looked down upon for being liberal. For one I wasn't liberal then. I was moderately conservative. My views didn't differ much from my peers. It was moreso now. And again more of a joke. But this is one of those things that the parts are not equally to the whole enchilada. I just don't like Texas. I do like where I live in UT though, so thanks .
  3. Yeah...bleach water ain't my thang. Utah water is mountain run off...it's delish! I went to Chicago but honestly can't remember what the water tastes like...which means it wasn't terrible. And I miss the abundance of fall colors the east has. Utah has a bit but its more limited. But not as limited as the first fall frost death that would happen somewhere in October or November in Dallas.
  4. I'm honestly okay with that. I don't mind that when I go to mass I couldn't partake in the Eucharist. It's no biggie, I never expect that much acceptance in beliefs. There are differences. But I do think there can be a point that it goes too far...where basic differentiation crosses into discrimination and prejudice. And in someways lead to barring people from coming to Christ, if hypothetically we didn't have Him. It also places more unnecessary division and false ideas about an entire people. That's what I saw happening with some evangelical and baptist folks (not all, but not exactly a quiet minority either). It was unnecessarily hurtful and just weird at times. And a turn off. With luv, BD
  5. So I've heard ...but that still leaves out my favorites of nature and water that doesn't taste like dirt and seasons. I'll stick with more northern states you ain't converting me!
  6. I was in a suburb north of Dallas. It wasn't uber small-town and it had a good number of texan "transplants" (ie. people not originally from the state). I attribute the experiences in Texas for getting me out of what was looking like a dark course. But I also jokingly stated that I was a "failed transplant" and it was a doomed relationship from the start. It wasn't just religion that was a problem. I definitely believe hearts can be changed....I'm just not a fan of most of the south. A list of problems that had me as a failed transplant: I was a vegetarian, who didn't like or understand football, who was raised thinking of large national museums and cultural events as the norm (DFW is seriously lagging on this), who is mixed and ID's as such (a lot of the south is too dichotomous about race and is really crappy about acknowledging mixed folk), a mormon, and now (though not then) am fairly liberal. I'm also a health freak who can stand southern cooking for about 1.5 days before my body starts rejecting it (no joke....I tried in AL and Georgia). And I like nature that entailed things like trails and hikes and green stuff, four seasons, and water that didn't taste like dirt. Utah is still not what I would be described as a "perfect fit"....but it suits me well in far more ways than TX did. I still visit to go see family from time to time. I'm not averse to Texas...I just don't want to live there. Or Georgia. Or alabama. Or Arkansas. Or oklahoma. Or south carolina. MAYBE parts of tenessee, florida, or N. Carolina. But probably not. But you are welcome to love the state. Texas pride indoctrination is pretty intense. With luv, BD
  7. I'm not denying that GA's can make absolutes. I'm pointing out that people can also interpret them as such and without an actual quote, but a retelling that is currently 3rd person in source materials, there's a far higher likelihood that nuance has been lost. I've seen that happen on this board where someone will state that this or that GA said something really out there and extreme. Then, when I find the quote in context it's often not nearly as bad as it first sounded. Plus, Bsjkki's quote from the official source shows piece of what you heard....but framed in a different context that isn't as extreme. So it would lends credence to the idea that through word of mouth, some things were lost in translation. With luv, BD
  8. I'd third Papa's assertions about the bible-belt. I was in Texas and it really was an odd phenomenon....it was serious culture shock from northern VA that was more Northeastern in attitudes than anything. Obviously, not all are extreme or discriminatory, but there is a strong undercurrent of relational problems with evangelical/baptist groups there. They'd have radio specials about us on their christian radio station, specials on us in their churches, and a general attitude that emphasized mormons as a weird cult group. At best it was belittling, at worse our beliefs were viewed as almost dangerous. This often entailed perpetuating falsehoods about us. In high school (public, not private) several of the kids would harass (or bully) the other mormon kids. My (southern baptist) Aunt's still weird about it and it's been YEARS. The attitude can be in other places as well. In PA I saw it a few times with a few refusing to pray with us, religious slights, etc. But they were more individual based. There it can be more ingrained into the culture. So it honestly doesn't surprise that that would happen. It's one of a number of reasons I will not live in the south again. Spammer, I'd agree. I don't think I've ever had the same dogmatic responses from Catholics as I did with evangelical and baptist peoples. With luv, BD
  9. Lifetime prevelance for mental disorders in general is high. And depression (next to Anxiety, which tend to go hand in hand anyways) are among the highest. You generally can't tell who's struggled with it just by looking at someone. 3 of my closest friends (out of 4) have had depression at some point. One you may be able to guess that she's struggled, but the other two not at all. I, myself, had a very mild episode at the beginning of my mission, though I didn't necessarily label it as such at the time. I called it a deep sorrow that was tied to not addressing hurts from my childhood. When I did, it went away. But technically it meets the criteria for depression. It can be difficult to feel the spirit when like this. At least one of my friends has explicitly stated such. Especially if it's severe. But I don't think I've ever heard it stated that you never could or that the spirit withdraws. If I had to find an analogy its more like finding a beam from a flash flight on land when your in the middle of a storm in choppy water. It's there, it's just hard to see and difficult to understand because there's so much else going on inside the person that tends to drag them down. I have never heard a GA make such an absolute. It may be the problem of a game of telephone and her own interpretation of what was said....not actually what the GA meant. With luv, BD
  10. I think the first time I started doing something that would include some form of meditation was when I was a young teen and dabbling with paganism. I couldn't bring myself to worship pagan gods, but I did try natural healing and meditation sort of things. It was about as serious as any fad that happens when you're 13-14 (ie. not at all). After that I got into yoga later (starting late teens). Currently I enjoy vanyasas and ashtanga yoga as a form of moving meditation. My body stores my stress and emotions as somatic problems a lot of the time. So I'll get more migraines when I'm stressed, feel more tension in my shoulders, and feel my chest muscles grow tight and inward. Bad moments can include a loss of appetite and stomach cramps when I try to eat. Yoga helps me release it and reduce the symptomology. I'll find myself doing a heart opening exercise and suddenly feel sadness or anger burst out. After, I may have my appetite back and can eat again more normally. etc. I don't know if I consider it apart of my spiritual development, but it does help me a ton emotionally....not to mention physically with my back discomfort at times. Likewise I'll sometimes to yoga nidra when I'm wound up or worn out, but know I can't take a nap. Or when I'm trying to go to sleep but can't get my body to relax. More contemplative practices are less sitting meditations, unless I'm in the mountains. In which case I find a quiet place in the middle of the woods, sit myself down, read my PB or pertinent scriptures from my phone. I may pray, and then think about what I've experienced. This has definitely been helpful to clear my mind and my focus in where I'm going in life. Nature in general calms and soothes me. So even gardening can have a similar effect as I end up connecting it to scriptural parallels. In the framework in mormonism, I think it ties into the idea of finding good in other places as well and incorporating it. I think it ties into principles such as "be still and know that I am God" or learning balance by not moving faster than one has strength. It can also help calm us down enough to hear the "still, small voice." Honestly I could do with more of it. But it tends to come more when I have something big in my mind or heart as opposed to a daily practice. With luv, BD
  11. I've been thinking about it, and had a few: Pragmatic level I’m grateful for the church relationships allowing me a up close window into healthy and happy families. I didn’t have that for myself growing up and the relationships I experienced taught me that it was possible to have. The YW gave me balance and care in a way I hadn’t had in any of my other peer groups. Before then I was a mess going south into anger and bitterness fast. I was in a neighborhood that amplified that. When I moved the YW gave me a positive place to have a needed escape and belief that I could be happy if I sought it out. Ironically, and fittingly with the title of this thread, that started with a hug. I have minimal college debt, with a quality education, because of the church. That’s HUGE for my generation that is bogged down with it. Spiritual level It was the vehicle to find happiness and peace. My patriarchal blessing gave me hope in my future instead of despair in difficult moments. My heart and mind began to expand in it. And I felt stripped of the emotional scars I felt littered with on my mission. I love the doctrine of the afterlife. It was one of the first things that I remember feeling the Spirit really with. In a way that was tangible and clear, at least. I love the BoM and temples. I have a very warm place in my heart for the story of the anti-nephi-lehites and the depiction of the flood in Moses 7. Both were integral for me in understanding God’s love and its power to change us. I like feeling as though I’m part of an evolving body of believers in which I have contributions Tongue-in-cheek level Sometimes I’m just glad that what I find on the board here generally is NOT a reflection of what I find when I turn off my electronics. It’s not that there isn’t problems, there is. But its also balanced. Sometimes the contrast is really sharp. Like this weekend. My poor bishop’s counselor calls me up desperate for someone to give a talk the next day. I agree to it and pray for guidance, half preparing while I did my hike. I decide to talk about Sister Cordon’s talk about leaning not to our own understanding, focusing on Mormon culturally derived understandings that can shoot us in the spiritual foot. I talk about the problems of absolutes and excess idealism and constantly doing or feeling obligated to do more even when we are burning out or breaking down. Followed with how to recognize if what we’re doing or viewing as God, is. I told of the story of when I was truly broken, that the Spirit whispered to me to just go home from church and I went on a Netflix binge. It was well received. Someone asked for my talk, another messaged me, etc. It’s not to brag. It was followed with two very good talks that held similar themes from very different perspectives. It was just a day that I find myself thinking of how change and introspection is a part of the church body. That things do differ from a stereotype that can paint the church too hierarchical and monolithic. Our answers and direction as a church body will definitely have a “peculiar” bend per se. But it is changing in its own direction and heavily influenced by the members involved….along with hierarchical decisions. It’s a dynamic process that is measured and thought out that I highly appreciate. And I’m glad to be a part of it….to feel like I contribute to that. When I think of “the church” per se, I first think of a community. It’s tight knit, but open enough to take in others. It’s framed by us all in one way or another. But maintains a framework that retains its shape. And I love that. I love being part of it. With luv, BD
  12. Yes I do. Particularly when they're obviously escalated. At some point more words don't help. It's what I'd tell anyone when they're becoming reactive. With luv, BD
  13. Kenngo. Stop. It's really not the point of the thread. with luv, BD
  14. Obviously this is completely unsolicited and I hope it doesn't come off as board nanny-esque. But maybe it would just be a good time for all to stop. If everybody is just chronically offending the other it seems to be a bit of a waste to just keep engaging. At this point, Gray's comment seems the best: With luv, BD
  15. I agree. I think there's an equally irritating response in pontificating about how much more freeing it is to be outside of religious constructs. That goes for me in the same boat as non-believers telling believers they have it easy/have to think for themselves, for me. Just in a different thread. Which is why I found it odd that Johnnie got offended, considering he was singing the same tune just on a different chord. If BB's and MN's line was offensive, so was his. Here is his exact line, in case you missed it: I have a hard time seeing a substantial difference. But I do appreciate your thoughts. I also don't think it's necessarily fair to cast unnecessary assumptions about one POV or another. With luv, BD