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  2. Institutions are the only way to really address abuse except vigilantism. Without institutions, you have no laws or law enforcement, no one to report abuse to, etc.
  3. Robert F. Smith

    Statement on Book of Mormon geography

    Every islander I know has once described the Americas as islands. Perhaps they do not mean too, and i am sure they know the difference, but it happens daily. The problem is that biblical Hebrew and ancient Egyptian linguistic experts have determined that the cognate Afro-Asiatic word for "isle, island," actually has a much broader meaning, including "coastland, firm-land," and the like. One can see that in E. A. Speiser's comment on Genesis 10:5 (Anchor Bible, I:66), or in the New Jerusalem Bible translation of Isaiah 42:15, etc. So too, Miriam Lichtheim's comments on "isles" in the story of Sinuhe (Ancient Egyptian Literature, I:224,233). Thus, despite the impression given by 2 Nephi 10:20, one must deal with the real world usage of such terms.
  4. poptart

    One of those days

    Ever have one of those days were you feel less than human and just hate being here?
  5. I did plus a few of your other posts, I have friends who've worked in corrections just like you, one of em with sex offenders. You are so correct, Bishops, even the general population is poorly equipped to deal with people like that. What I was alluding to is how easy it is to have your name smeared, should have read your posts a bit more first. Let me ask you this, how would you solve this? I don't see the point in long stints in jail, it costs us a lot of money and really accomplishes nothing. We could always do what other countries do and just execute them, I doubt that would fly here. I don't like pedos either but hey a lot of these people were abused horribly as children. I'm all for taking responsibility for ones life but in cases like this are they even capable of it? The average person cannot imagine the confusion and rage that's going through these poor peoples minds when they've been accused of something they do not understand. I do wonder how all this will play out in the future, white flight isn't much of an option and the moment you have kids you can't just hide from the world as easily anymore. Your kids are going to be exposed to some very messed up kids in school, even if you're a stellar parent there are many, many more who aren't. My own life growing up was pretty bad, no one cared and i've paid for it, still at least I know if I do anything horrible I'll have to answer for it, so many people in our prisons can't even do that. What's worse, esp. in the case of pedophiles the abuse they get in jail just makes them worse. Judging them, saying the kinds of things so many people do along the lines of next time don't do those things doesn't mean much once they're released. I doubt the average person thinks that a mentally ill ex convict can really understand what he did was wrong. As someone who's been exposed to this kind of stuff, how do you think this will all play out in the coming years? Like I said, white flight isn't much of an option anymore, we're running out of places to put jails and yep, the old not in my backyard rule is still in full affect. Families aren't as stable as they used to be and with the latest from the CDC the downward spiral will just continue. BTW, I like people like you, it was someone who worked with crime victims and violent offenders who made it possible for me to get work at DI, and i'm about as LDS as Trump is Muslim. I had gone through a horrible stint in life that wasn't my fault and yep, most of the people at the ward wouldn't give me the time of day. Took me years to understand that it's not like they had it in for me, the majority of people out there just can't fathom just how horrible life can be to people. I do think that's going to change very soon. The USA is playing catch up with the UK in areas like drug abuse and family disfunction, they've had to deal with it for decades. I had a conversation with my 90 year old aunt today, she's not a fan of things like legal dope yet does understand the root cause, atleast one of them, family disfunction and the broken people it creates.
  6. I’m so sad that your family was affected this way. So sad you didn’t feel supported in the way you needed. No buts from me. 💕 I hope for peace for you.
  7. Today
  8. I hope you read my response to this post, directed to me.
  9. Thanks Calm, I figure it must be because I'm on a limited status because I had a signature line at the bottom once before listed as "middlewayer" and it's no longer there, so maybe it's the bummer of being on limited.
  10. This is what scares me and others I know, in this age of social media it's too easy to ruin someone this way. You can create a bogus facebook, use software like tor and quite possibly ruin someones life with a little social engineering. With photoshop you can make bogus screencaps and circulate them everywhere, with linkedin you can even forward them to someones boss. Makes me wonder how much longer this will go on before people decide to be adults and not ruin each others lives.
  11. Rajah Manchou

    Statement on Book of Mormon geography

    I have gone. It is just as easy to go southward as it would be to go northward. There's no place in Mesoamerica that anyone would stand and think, hey I'm almost completely surrounded by water, except for that one narrow neck of land to my north.
  12. Gray

    Linear growth in church membership

    Children of record are counted as members. They are only removed if not baptized. You can see them counted in the annual stats: https://www.lds.org/church/news/2017-statistical-report-for-2018-april-general-conference?lang=eng https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/2016-statistical-report-2017-april-conference
  13. I wouldn't use "proof" really outside of mathematics. Science and history are about theories and the weight of evidence, but not proof.
  14. JAHS

    Attachment size

    Does anyone know why the size of attachments that I can add to a post has been getting smaller and smaller? Right now it is at 30 kb which is too small for most photos, etc. What determines how big of an attachment I can add to a post? Edited to add: OK I just did a little research into the attachments I have posted so far and I was very close to the 5 mb limit. Need to delete some.
  15. JAHS

    Linear growth in church membership

    The annual world growth rate has been slowing down since 1960(red) and is projected to continue to decrease in years to come(blue) I am sure this is and will also have some small effect on church growth rate.
  16. Yesterday
  17. Hamba Tuhan

    Linear growth in church membership

    We had a senior couple in my mission whose previous mission had been at the Hill Cumorah Visitors Centre. They said a local man would hand out photocopied tracts across the street from the entry each day, warning people away from what they would be told once in the centre. One day, no visitors in the centre seemed interested at all, and nothing the missionaries said could change that. When this senior couple left for lunch, they noticed that the local 'anti' was missing. I can't remember if he was gone for just a day or maybe a few more, but he came back, and immediately interest amongst visitors picked up. The senior missionary couple asked him where he'd been, and he said he'd run out of money to make more photocopies. They then told him that if that ever happened again, to let them know, and they'd pay for his tracts since they were an essential part of their work in the visitors centre. They said he hadn't enjoyed hearing that!
  18. This is a blanket statement that does not reflect my experiences in the Church. What happened to you and others is terrible, but it is not universal. I’m very sad you had to go through that. While there are some who have reacted the way you describe, there are many others who take this very seriously. I think times are changing. We have witnessed the improvement over the 10 years we have worked with the Addiction Recovery Program. Some in our groups were victims of abuse. Our group support has been helpful to them.
  19. Hamba Tuhan

    "Why some people leave the Church"

    I grew up with seven other people in a very small, multi-generational home that had only two bedrooms. My parents slept in a double bed in one room. My grandmother and both sisters slept in another double bed in the other bedroom. We three boys (of whom I am the youngest) slept wherever suited us, but always in a pile/tangle. We had one bathroom. The door was sometimes closed but never locked. I bathed (and showered once we got a shower) with both my parents and all my siblings. One of our favourite things to do on a Saturday morning that didn't require us to be working in the gardens was to all wake up slowly and end up in Mum and Dad's bed. We could get all seven of us in there! I lived in a town/village of about 900 people. We referred to all of the adults with familial titles. At school, the toilet cubicles had walls but no doors. The dominant culture was that people who needed space/privacy were trying to hide something. I still harbour that suspicion ... This sounds like Indonesia. One is almost never not in physical contact with another person ... often many people. Handshakes often turn into just holding hands. Complete strangers fall asleep on each other's shoulders on public transport. I've been on trains so crowded that I was lifted off the floor by the press of people. If the bus is full, people ride on the outside, but the conductors (who are all acrobats, it seems!) will still come outside to collect payment, climbing across the backs of passengers with one hand, making change with the other. Unlike you, however, I don't crave empty spaces at all. I still prefer sleeping with someone, but I struggle to fall asleep if I can't at least hear another person near me. I'm grateful that one of my housemates is a snorer!
  20. I believe, even though I'll get in trouble for sayin it, that our church has a problem with sex abuse cases. Utah is among the worst states with child abuse cases and not, IMO, because people go to the police more than any of the other states, that's just a lame excuse and according to the link it's under reported. https://fox13now.com/2016/02/17/rate-of-sex-abuse-in-utah-among-worst-in-the-nation-advocacy-group-pledges-support-for-survivors/I don't know how it all started but one thing is for sure, people didn't look at children as people with full rights apparently and the adults got more credit than the children ever did. Hopefully this will dissipate as the world gets better and better!
  21. We are pretty diverse but rabid debates usually only happen between men and women. Welcome as again.
  22. carbon dioxide

    Equal Rights Amendment: The Church is neutral...

    They generally do get equal pay. Are there lists out there that employers use with one pay scale for men and one for women?
  23. Our abuser will be in their 90's when released, no probation under Jessica's law. He denies even now what he did, even though it is all on video tape - he is convinced there is nothing wrong with what he did. It is a mental insanity, and those who have this disease need to be put away for life for the safety of children. Laymen in the church have no idea what they are dealing with - they will believe the abuser's lies, believe nothing wrong happened, victim shaming, victim blaming, ignore, laugh at, roll their eyes at - allow abuse to continue for year after year after year - because until you are in it, you don't understand it.
  24. While I think anxiety has increased I think it may have increased less than many assume it has. My father-in-law is very sweet, yet years ago when I described what I went through with post partum depression, he told me he didn't believe it exists because no one had it in his day. Having studied it I knew he was wrong, everyone just hid it. My husband has some great anxiety issues. He had no problem on the football field, but ask him to make a phone call and it is a whole other story. Being able to text has made a world of difference to his anxiety. He would have loved to have it when he was executive secretary. And his parents were so not helicopter parents. What is that quote? When we know more we do more? From what I have seen, being connected can cause more anxiety, but it also just makes the issues more well known and the different methods help some people be more a part of things than they could have before.
  25. I am S.Y. #823. The LDS curch did NOTHING to help anyone in my family. The abuse went on years and years during which time the abuser was "called by god??" to serve in the bishpric??? was serving with kids in boy scouts when arrested??? The case was so badly handled by the church, that I have left. The offender should have to move to a new ward - they should have a restraining order to be no where near the victim. The new ward's members should also all be notified to keep kids in the new ward safe. Pedophiles do not change. It would be akin to forgiving someone of having cancer, or forgiving them of being mentally insane - it is a physical condition, a disease. No therapy was offered to anyone in our family. Over the last 2 years, I met with my bishop twice. Once where I was told "sorry, I have no experience with that", and the second time where I turned in my TR. No help. No support. Nothing. I asked for a support group and was told that regular church meetings would be good enough for me. Strange - the LDs church offers "addiction recovery" support groups for addicts, yet the support for victims is non-existent. This is my current experience. Read through S.Y.'s stories.... hundreds of stories. too may stories.
  26. Physics Guy

    Linear growth in church membership

    That first link is the site where I first noticed this linear trend. People on boards and blogs were talking about percentage growth rates but to me the linear pattern jumped out big. It didn't actually make sense to talk about percentages when the behavior was so non-exponential. I forgot where I'd seen those charts, though, so I reconstructed my own from the Wikipedia numbers. Thanks for reminding me. The thread about missionary effectiveness was also interesting but I have no insights to add to it.
  27. MustardSeed

    Prayer request for my dear wife, need prayers please!

    Prayers for you. I usually stop what I’m doing for a moment of reflection before I state that. Be well.
  28. Anxiety: hovering parents, increased pressure to perform, social media, and awareness of mental illness, and false labeling. Everyone’s a therapist or self diagnoser. And the latter being the cause of a excess of “narcissism “. Ever notice that while every ex wife is “crazy”, every ex husband is a “narcissist?”
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